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Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three
What can parents do to help their youngest children in their task of self-formation? How does the Montessori method of hands-on learning and self-discovery relate to the youngest infants? This authoritative and accessible book answers these and many other questions. Based on Dr. Maria Montessori's instructions for raising infants, its comprehensive exploration of the first three years incorporates the furnishings and tools she created for the care and comfort of babies. From the design of the baby's bedroom to the child-sized kitchen table, from diet and food preparation to clothing and movement, the authors provide guidance for the establishment of a beautiful and serviceable environment for babies and very young children. They introduce concepts and tasks, taking into account childrens' ''sensitive periods'' for learning such skills as dressing themselves, food preparation, and toilet training. Brimming with anecdote and encouragement, and written in a clear, engaging style, Montessori from the Start is a practical and useful guide to raising calm, competent, and confident children.
304 pages, Paperback
First published July 22, 2003
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June 6, 2012I'm torn on this book. I like the basic suggestions but hate the advice to wean at 9 months to "increase independence". That advice is not just totally arbitrary but scientifically invalid. Attatchment studies show increased independence in children nursed longer than 12 months and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing longer than 12 months.
That being said, this is a great introduction to Montessori and how to implement many of the practices in your home. Wish I had read it while pregnant. I would have set our house up entirely differnt to contribute to proper physical and intellectual development. It would have kept me from buying 75% of the things we did which we turned out to not use anyway.
I recommend it to ALL parents, not just those interested in Montessori. It outlines a wonderful understanding and respectful way of raising confident capable children
That being said, this is a great introduction to Montessori and how to implement many of the practices in your home. Wish I had read it while pregnant. I would have set our house up entirely differnt to contribute to proper physical and intellectual development. It would have kept me from buying 75% of the things we did which we turned out to not use anyway.
I recommend it to ALL parents, not just those interested in Montessori. It outlines a wonderful understanding and respectful way of raising confident capable children
February 5, 2009
I thought this was a great book. I enjoyed Dr. Montessori's books in her own words, but this book did a great job giving some guidelines on how to implement Montessori principles with teaching infants and toddlers how to do things themselves. I know that even 150 years ago pioneer children were a lot more mature then they are today so it would make sense to me that children are very capable of learning how to 'help' and how to take care of themselves.
A few things I have done since I started reading this book that my son seems to really enjoy:
*We have taken the front part of his crib off and replaced it with the toddler railing and he really enjoys the independence and freedom of getting into and out of his bed himself - we just close the door tightly at night and during naps so he can't get out and knows that it is time to go to sleep!
*I have packed up the booster seat and put it away and my son now sits on his little chair at his little table we got him from IKEA for his birthday last month for all his meals, he really enjoys sitting at his own little table while my husband and I sit at our table.
*He can drink water out of a shot glass (we don't drink alcohol, but my husband liked to collect shot glasses when he was a teenager) all by himself. He still spills, but he is starting to like to wipe the spilled water up himself as well (he doesn't get it all, but like Paula and Lynn suggest in the book, once the child has done it then the parent will say, "It's my turn now" and then clean it up the rest of the way.
*I change his diaper with him standing up and I have shown him twice how to wipe himself in the front and so when I give him the wet cloth now, he immediately begins to wipe himself (he's only 13 months old right now).
*I also have him help undress & dress himself as much as possible and it is so fun to see his realization that he can act for himself and not be acted upon by older people!
*We've also started to take walks everyday and we go at his pace and where he wants to (except into the street, that's the only time I change his direction) while I hold his hand since he doesn't have enough confidence to walk without holding onto something yet - and we've gone 1/2 way around the block before he gets tired and needs to be carried the rest of the way! He gets so excited when he can see we are going to take a walk now! Plus, I know it's helping him to gain the confidence to walk more on his own because he is walking a lot more without holding onto anything or anyone!
I was just telling my husband last night as I was helping my son get dressed in his pjs, "I'm so glad I read this book. I never would have thought a one year old would be interested and capable of helping to undress and dress himself." and my husband agreed and said he would have thought that at 2 years old a child would be capable of doing those things, so it has been so much fun to see how much a one year old is capable of doing if given the chance!
A few things I have done since I started reading this book that my son seems to really enjoy:
*We have taken the front part of his crib off and replaced it with the toddler railing and he really enjoys the independence and freedom of getting into and out of his bed himself - we just close the door tightly at night and during naps so he can't get out and knows that it is time to go to sleep!
*I have packed up the booster seat and put it away and my son now sits on his little chair at his little table we got him from IKEA for his birthday last month for all his meals, he really enjoys sitting at his own little table while my husband and I sit at our table.
*He can drink water out of a shot glass (we don't drink alcohol, but my husband liked to collect shot glasses when he was a teenager) all by himself. He still spills, but he is starting to like to wipe the spilled water up himself as well (he doesn't get it all, but like Paula and Lynn suggest in the book, once the child has done it then the parent will say, "It's my turn now" and then clean it up the rest of the way.
*I change his diaper with him standing up and I have shown him twice how to wipe himself in the front and so when I give him the wet cloth now, he immediately begins to wipe himself (he's only 13 months old right now).
*I also have him help undress & dress himself as much as possible and it is so fun to see his realization that he can act for himself and not be acted upon by older people!
*We've also started to take walks everyday and we go at his pace and where he wants to (except into the street, that's the only time I change his direction) while I hold his hand since he doesn't have enough confidence to walk without holding onto something yet - and we've gone 1/2 way around the block before he gets tired and needs to be carried the rest of the way! He gets so excited when he can see we are going to take a walk now! Plus, I know it's helping him to gain the confidence to walk more on his own because he is walking a lot more without holding onto anything or anyone!
I was just telling my husband last night as I was helping my son get dressed in his pjs, "I'm so glad I read this book. I never would have thought a one year old would be interested and capable of helping to undress and dress himself." and my husband agreed and said he would have thought that at 2 years old a child would be capable of doing those things, so it has been so much fun to see how much a one year old is capable of doing if given the chance!
August 10, 2012
Well. I cant help but find myself sitting here wondering, "Are the views on infancy espoused by this author actually the Montessori viewpoint, or is she simply parroting back modern baby trainers?"
As a proponent of ecological breastfeeding, I was dumbfounded to find her statements that the baby is ready to wean from the breast by six to nine months "because baby is ready for that new sense of independence!" Even the American Association of Pediatrics recommends nursing through the first year for optimum nutrition; the World Health Organization even goes so far as to recommend -two- years!
Then of course there was the typical modern "sleep training" approach that was also espoused, which I also don't agree with. The implication is that if you co-sleep, or even if you don't co-sleep, but still practice nighttime parenting instead of cry-it-out, that your child will never learn to independently sleep through the night.
Someone apparently forgot to inform my son, who nursed (albeit down to once a day by the end) through sixteen months of age, and was consistently sleeping through the night around twelve to fourteen months of age (these times were interwoven with teething, when he would go back to waking up once or twice for a few days, then sleep through, et cetera, depending upon his discomfort)?
I also found myself smirking at the mention of the infant bed on the floor instead of a crib. It must be assumed that there are no other young children in the house, who might still be of a young enough age that they need to be supervised around the baby, or that if there are, then obviously everyone has their own bedroom and we can simply gate older children out of baby's room. Um. Yeah. Okay.
Oh, and the "Sensitive Period" for toilet training is from twelve to eighteen months? How about we take individual development into that equation, hm? My son was such an avid crawler that he didn't start walking until sixteen months... and I'm supposed to start potty training him at twelve months? Before he's even thinking about the milestone of walking? Pardon? While I do think that in some situations, our culture has swung to the opposite extreme and allowed for significantly delayed potty training, I also don't think we need to be shaming parents for "missing the sensitive period" if their child isnt potty-trained by eighteen months of age. Starting before they are developmentally ready is more likely to lead to greater issues and frustration! Are some children ready to start potty-training that early? Sure. But quit guilt-tripping parents of those who arent't.
I -did- find some meat in this book, but it was only when the author began to discuss points that were in regard to developmental milestones from around the eighteen-month mark onward. In fact, there was an excellent bit toward the end of the book that spoke about properly diverting a toddler's attention once they are cognitively able to focus on things they can't/shouldn't have.
If you were looking to pick up a book about the stages and development of your child between one and two years of age, I highly recommend "Your One Year Old" instead. (I'm only just starting "Your Two Year Old," or I would recommend that, too.) Leave this one on the shelf.
Edited to add:
If you don't mind fishing through some rather "New Age-y" jargon, there are also some great resources to be found in "You Are Your Child's First Teacher," which focuses on the same years as this book, albeit from a more Waldorf approach. While I disagree with the anthrosophy philosophy behind the Waldorf approach, I think that they have a lot more going for them in their approach during the first couple years of life than Montessori does.
As a proponent of ecological breastfeeding, I was dumbfounded to find her statements that the baby is ready to wean from the breast by six to nine months "because baby is ready for that new sense of independence!" Even the American Association of Pediatrics recommends nursing through the first year for optimum nutrition; the World Health Organization even goes so far as to recommend -two- years!
Then of course there was the typical modern "sleep training" approach that was also espoused, which I also don't agree with. The implication is that if you co-sleep, or even if you don't co-sleep, but still practice nighttime parenting instead of cry-it-out, that your child will never learn to independently sleep through the night.
Someone apparently forgot to inform my son, who nursed (albeit down to once a day by the end) through sixteen months of age, and was consistently sleeping through the night around twelve to fourteen months of age (these times were interwoven with teething, when he would go back to waking up once or twice for a few days, then sleep through, et cetera, depending upon his discomfort)?
I also found myself smirking at the mention of the infant bed on the floor instead of a crib. It must be assumed that there are no other young children in the house, who might still be of a young enough age that they need to be supervised around the baby, or that if there are, then obviously everyone has their own bedroom and we can simply gate older children out of baby's room. Um. Yeah. Okay.
Oh, and the "Sensitive Period" for toilet training is from twelve to eighteen months? How about we take individual development into that equation, hm? My son was such an avid crawler that he didn't start walking until sixteen months... and I'm supposed to start potty training him at twelve months? Before he's even thinking about the milestone of walking? Pardon? While I do think that in some situations, our culture has swung to the opposite extreme and allowed for significantly delayed potty training, I also don't think we need to be shaming parents for "missing the sensitive period" if their child isnt potty-trained by eighteen months of age. Starting before they are developmentally ready is more likely to lead to greater issues and frustration! Are some children ready to start potty-training that early? Sure. But quit guilt-tripping parents of those who arent't.
I -did- find some meat in this book, but it was only when the author began to discuss points that were in regard to developmental milestones from around the eighteen-month mark onward. In fact, there was an excellent bit toward the end of the book that spoke about properly diverting a toddler's attention once they are cognitively able to focus on things they can't/shouldn't have.
If you were looking to pick up a book about the stages and development of your child between one and two years of age, I highly recommend "Your One Year Old" instead. (I'm only just starting "Your Two Year Old," or I would recommend that, too.) Leave this one on the shelf.
Edited to add:
If you don't mind fishing through some rather "New Age-y" jargon, there are also some great resources to be found in "You Are Your Child's First Teacher," which focuses on the same years as this book, albeit from a more Waldorf approach. While I disagree with the anthrosophy philosophy behind the Waldorf approach, I think that they have a lot more going for them in their approach during the first couple years of life than Montessori does.
November 6, 2018
While Montessori has a great approach for toddlers and young children, when it comes to caring for an infant this book is a recipe for severe postpartum depression. It has all the hallmarks of a typical parenting book- full of mom-guilting tirades about everything from natural birth to breastfeeding to sleep options- with the addition of this helpful advice:
- Don't pick up your kid or hold them, almost ever. Bonding must be limited to diaper changes and breastfeeding.
- Awake time should be spent on their tummy on their floor bed. How dare you play with them and distract them from their focus.
- Give them time alone in their room while they are awake from the beginning so they can work on their concentration. Babies sleep most of the day, so their awake time is precious and should be spent alone.
- Don't restrict your child's natural movements whatsoever. This means no babywearing, swings, bouncers, strollers, etc.
- It is selfish for you to want to leave the house. Give your child the gift of quiet, noninteractive time at home. As a mom you must live alone in your quiet house with no interaction from either baby or other adults. You gave up your right to have needs met when you became a parent.
Decent information for toddlers 15-18 months and older. Everything else is sanctimommy nonsense.
- Don't pick up your kid or hold them, almost ever. Bonding must be limited to diaper changes and breastfeeding.
- Awake time should be spent on their tummy on their floor bed. How dare you play with them and distract them from their focus.
- Give them time alone in their room while they are awake from the beginning so they can work on their concentration. Babies sleep most of the day, so their awake time is precious and should be spent alone.
- Don't restrict your child's natural movements whatsoever. This means no babywearing, swings, bouncers, strollers, etc.
- It is selfish for you to want to leave the house. Give your child the gift of quiet, noninteractive time at home. As a mom you must live alone in your quiet house with no interaction from either baby or other adults. You gave up your right to have needs met when you became a parent.
Decent information for toddlers 15-18 months and older. Everything else is sanctimommy nonsense.
June 11, 2009
I checked this book out, because we’re planning to homeschool Montessori-style, so to speak. Before having our precious little boy, I worked for three years as an assistant at a Christian Montessori preschool (ages 3-6), my time there is what persuaded my husband and I that Montessori is a good method for educating the whole child. As my husband says, “It’s just practical.”
That being said, I wouldn’t recommend this book for someone who is new to the concept and style of the Montessori Method. It might be a bit of a shocker and a lot of information to take in.
The book was very useful with a lot of information and examples to illustrate concepts. Sometimes the reading felt a little heavy. It’s definitely not the book to pick up for late night feedings.
It was definitely very helpful and we will implement many of the ideas for our family. The chapters I felt were particularly useful, in their topics and examples, were Pratical Life (Ch. 6), Personal Care (Ch. 7), and The Developing Will (Ch. 9).
I’d recommend this book for people who have some familiarity with the Montessori method or those who have taken a Montessori parent/child class.
That being said, I wouldn’t recommend this book for someone who is new to the concept and style of the Montessori Method. It might be a bit of a shocker and a lot of information to take in.
The book was very useful with a lot of information and examples to illustrate concepts. Sometimes the reading felt a little heavy. It’s definitely not the book to pick up for late night feedings.
It was definitely very helpful and we will implement many of the ideas for our family. The chapters I felt were particularly useful, in their topics and examples, were Pratical Life (Ch. 6), Personal Care (Ch. 7), and The Developing Will (Ch. 9).
I’d recommend this book for people who have some familiarity with the Montessori method or those who have taken a Montessori parent/child class.
March 7, 2013
I certainly appreciate the philosophy that an infant/toddler should be submursed into a learning environment that encompasses toys that encourage enriched learning and thinking. I also favor the principle of imaginative play. Of which the Montessori belief discourages against.
Montessori is without a doubt an unconventional philosophy that is nothing short of a culture shock to any parent that was raised with the Western adage of instant gratification. Not that we have everything right, because we certainly don't.
I do love the push for activities involving concentration; children do need to focus more on diversifying their minds, focusing less on mechanical toys and television. I don't, however, believe that because a parent does not submerse their child solely on the Montessori concept is a “bad parent.” That was a little too self-righteous for my taste.
I did come away from this book with more educational empowerment for my toddler that I do believe will be helpful in offering him a well-rounded childhood. However, to devote oneself exclusively to a single philosophy for child development will only deprive the child of a complete enriched, contemporary childhood. ~AH
January 6, 2009
It's difficult for me to review nonfiction books. For this one in particular, I have to keep reminding myself to focus on reviewing the book, and not the subject of Montessori education. I was interested in this book because it's one of the few resources I've found that includes educational information geared toward infants. Most early childhood resources begin with information about 2 and 3 year olds. I did take away some ideas that I can incorporate into my son's environment, and I also learned more about Dr. Maria Montessori's actual observations that served as the basis for her theories. I did wish that the book was more clearly organized. It was sometimes challenging to wade through the author's experiences and anecdotes as I looked for the meat of each developmental theory. I would've also preferred lists and charts that summarized each section in addition to the narrative.
March 1, 2009
Definitely a take some/leave some advice book. I'm not going to give my toddler a knife or have him sleep on a futon instead of a crib, but there's a lot to be said for respecting a baby/child's independence and not bombarding him with too much toy/electronic stimulation.
July 26, 2015
Montessori's approach to assisting the development of the child is, to me, not another how-to theory. Rather, it is a mentality and a common-sense approach to doing things. Everything said seems very logical, and I find myself nodding along to reading the book.
The most important thing to raising a child and assist in his self-formation is taking the time to observing him and, yes, assisting him and collaborating with him.
The book is a great companion as it covers several important themes and does so for various stages of development in each chapter. So it is a reference book that keeps you sane during all the stages - from newborn, three to nine months, nine to twelve months, twelve to eighteen months, and all the way to eighteen months to three years.
It helps you prepare yourself, prepare the environment for the child, and shows you how to provide freedom with responsibility, taking into account the human tendencies - exploration, orientation, order, abstraction, imagination, manipulation, repetition, exactness, control of error, perfection, and communication.
A great resource for a new father or mother if you think of are afraid that things are running away from you. It is also very well written.
The most important thing to raising a child and assist in his self-formation is taking the time to observing him and, yes, assisting him and collaborating with him.
The book is a great companion as it covers several important themes and does so for various stages of development in each chapter. So it is a reference book that keeps you sane during all the stages - from newborn, three to nine months, nine to twelve months, twelve to eighteen months, and all the way to eighteen months to three years.
It helps you prepare yourself, prepare the environment for the child, and shows you how to provide freedom with responsibility, taking into account the human tendencies - exploration, orientation, order, abstraction, imagination, manipulation, repetition, exactness, control of error, perfection, and communication.
A great resource for a new father or mother if you think of are afraid that things are running away from you. It is also very well written.
June 15, 2014
I've heard a lot about the Montessori Method, and was thinking about future pre/schools for my not-even-two-year-old, so I thought I'd give this book a whirl.
A lot of the book focuses on newborn, infancy, up to the fifteen and eighteen month timeframe (mine is twenty-one months), even though the title says "birth to age three". I still read all of it, but I think a lot of people picking this up would be frustrated if they already have a nearly-two-year-old like I do. I read it because I was truly interested in what the book had to say about how a baby develops, how they learn, how Montessori tries to meet those developments. Sometimes the book is too detailed (I really had to roll my eyes when they went through the step-by-step process of teaching your child to blow his nose), and I don't personally agree with all of the methods (my baby's always had way more than three books at a time, etc.). But I do think the overarching message is a good one--from the start, treating your baby as a person, giving that person respect, and trying to teach them so that person reaches his/her full potential. A lot of a parent's job is to teach.
I immediately started thinking about the ways that I was babying my no-longer-a-baby. And the thing is, I'm a person that doesn't overly baby! I do take a harder stance on teaching, discipline, etc., because I've never thought babies should be coddled, spoiled, etc. Heck, I went all in knowing my 18-month-old could potty-train, and we did it. But then I...stopped pushing her to grow more. Why? I want her to be more independent not just for my sake, but for her own self-esteem, motivation, self-reliance, etc. Reading this book and seeing some very practical things I could be doing was very helpful. For example, why am I still carrying her around? She has two legs that work perfectly well. She had a tantrum about it, and she's fussed some throughout, but just in a few days, she's walking more and more, asking less and less to be picked up (thank goodness, because she's really heavy now). Also, I loved that my toddler was taking an interest in cleaning, and thought it was cute. Why just cute? It can be more. It can actually turn into something. So I took the book's lessons to heart and started actually demonstrating, talking through things, holding her hands to get the movements right, etc. Now she's learning how to peel carrots. I'm trying to teach her how to fold clothes. She's getting better at dressing and undressing herself. Just in a matter of days.
I'm not going full-on Montessori with my girl, but I am really appreciating the reminder on how I want my girl to grow, and the practical lessons given on how I can do these things with her.
A lot of the book focuses on newborn, infancy, up to the fifteen and eighteen month timeframe (mine is twenty-one months), even though the title says "birth to age three". I still read all of it, but I think a lot of people picking this up would be frustrated if they already have a nearly-two-year-old like I do. I read it because I was truly interested in what the book had to say about how a baby develops, how they learn, how Montessori tries to meet those developments. Sometimes the book is too detailed (I really had to roll my eyes when they went through the step-by-step process of teaching your child to blow his nose), and I don't personally agree with all of the methods (my baby's always had way more than three books at a time, etc.). But I do think the overarching message is a good one--from the start, treating your baby as a person, giving that person respect, and trying to teach them so that person reaches his/her full potential. A lot of a parent's job is to teach.
I immediately started thinking about the ways that I was babying my no-longer-a-baby. And the thing is, I'm a person that doesn't overly baby! I do take a harder stance on teaching, discipline, etc., because I've never thought babies should be coddled, spoiled, etc. Heck, I went all in knowing my 18-month-old could potty-train, and we did it. But then I...stopped pushing her to grow more. Why? I want her to be more independent not just for my sake, but for her own self-esteem, motivation, self-reliance, etc. Reading this book and seeing some very practical things I could be doing was very helpful. For example, why am I still carrying her around? She has two legs that work perfectly well. She had a tantrum about it, and she's fussed some throughout, but just in a few days, she's walking more and more, asking less and less to be picked up (thank goodness, because she's really heavy now). Also, I loved that my toddler was taking an interest in cleaning, and thought it was cute. Why just cute? It can be more. It can actually turn into something. So I took the book's lessons to heart and started actually demonstrating, talking through things, holding her hands to get the movements right, etc. Now she's learning how to peel carrots. I'm trying to teach her how to fold clothes. She's getting better at dressing and undressing herself. Just in a matter of days.
I'm not going full-on Montessori with my girl, but I am really appreciating the reminder on how I want my girl to grow, and the practical lessons given on how I can do these things with her.
February 14, 2019
“Who does not know that to teach a child to feed himself, to wash and dress himself, is a much more tedious and difficult work, calling for infinitely greater patience, than feeding, washing and dressing the child oneself? But, the former is the work of an educator; the latter is the easy and inferior work of a servant.” — Dr. Maria Montessori (1912)
Tremendously inspiring. A dear friend and respected mother with a master’s degree in early childhood education recommended this book to me, and I am so glad she did. Until I encountered it, I didn’t know that so many Montessori principles could be applied in the home to shape the development of the infant and preschool child. The natural, gentle, minimalist, and structured child-rearing philosophy espoused here dovetails so perfectly with other theories I’ve been exploring lately (Nutritious Movement, RIE parenting, self-reliant child-raising, etc.), and we hope to apply as much of it as we can (while still having grace for ourselves and our unborn child) in our new life.
April 9, 2024
If I were to sum up this book in a phrase it would be "committed patience".
Hate giving less then 5 stars but the cheapshot at Legos was in poor taste.
This will be the first child care book I have ever read and I plan on diving back in again at a more appropriate time.
I am not yet a father, so to speak from that point of view would be ignorant.
However, the premise of what Montessori calls for with child rearing makes a lot of sense to me. Its straightforward and minimalist ideals are oddly familiar to someone who is trying to manage their own life in the modern world. Just take one thing at a time and we will be alright.
Hate giving less then 5 stars but the cheapshot at Legos was in poor taste.
This will be the first child care book I have ever read and I plan on diving back in again at a more appropriate time.
I am not yet a father, so to speak from that point of view would be ignorant.
However, the premise of what Montessori calls for with child rearing makes a lot of sense to me. Its straightforward and minimalist ideals are oddly familiar to someone who is trying to manage their own life in the modern world. Just take one thing at a time and we will be alright.
February 8, 2017
Heavy on judgment, light on actual practical help which is why I wanted to read it. I hope I never meet the authors and have them gasp at the lack of a "small cleaver" in my just-turned-two little girl's hand, because then I would have to sucker punch them.
July 31, 2015
Useful book. It did sorta make me feel like I wasn't doing enough if my kid wasn't like making his own sandwiches by 18 months. But it was a good reminder to encourage self-determination and get my kid into routines early. We moved him to a floor bed at 16 months after he climbed out of his crib numerous times, we did elimination communication (something I'm surprised Montessori doesn't promote) and got him out of diapers much earlier than his peers. He's also fastidious about cleaning up his own messes and solving a lot of his own problems. He is curious and confident and often introduces me to things I wasn't familiar with. I think part of his independent spirit is just his personality but I credit the Montessori approach for encouraging us to give him the space and structure to let that personality blossom.
November 22, 2015
For the most part I think there is a lot of truth to what the author argues in this book. Giving your child the freedom and opportunity (and support provided in the proper way) to develop gross and fine motor skills, language skills and practical daily life skills starts, well, from the start of their life (not at 3 years of age when they head off to preschool).
At times, though, the author comes across as really sanctimonious, as though using any sort of devices - like a high chair, for instance, or heaven forbid! a playpen - to keep your child safe and free to play while you are busy doing other things, is a horrible and lazy and selfish form of parenting. I for one will not feel guilty in having my child sit happily in her high chair by the rest of us while we have our dinner.
At times, though, the author comes across as really sanctimonious, as though using any sort of devices - like a high chair, for instance, or heaven forbid! a playpen - to keep your child safe and free to play while you are busy doing other things, is a horrible and lazy and selfish form of parenting. I for one will not feel guilty in having my child sit happily in her high chair by the rest of us while we have our dinner.
March 23, 2015
اعجبنى الكتاب و استفدت منه فى عدة نقاط و اختلفت مع الكاتبة فى نقاط بسيطة
الكتاب يشرح فلسفة منتسورى و يوضح بطريقة علمية تطور الطفل و ما يمكننا عمله لدعم نموه من بيئة محيطة و انشطة و دعم نفسى منذ الولادة و حتى سن ثلاث سنوات ، الكتاب غير ملون و يتبع اسلوب السرد أى ان العناوين و الصور قليلة و هذا يدعو للملل احيانا ، لكنه افضل كثيرا برأيى من كتب ماريا منتسورى نفسها التى تميل للتطويل و الاعادة
الكتاب يشرح فلسفة منتسورى و يوضح بطريقة علمية تطور الطفل و ما يمكننا عمله لدعم نموه من بيئة محيطة و انشطة و دعم نفسى منذ الولادة و حتى سن ثلاث سنوات ، الكتاب غير ملون و يتبع اسلوب السرد أى ان العناوين و الصور قليلة و هذا يدعو للملل احيانا ، لكنه افضل كثيرا برأيى من كتب ماريا منتسورى نفسها التى تميل للتطويل و الاعادة
March 9, 2021
Although this is an okay overview of Montessori principles from birth to age 3, I was hoping to gain a deeper and more specific understanding. I’m vaguely familiar with many Montessori practices, but I didn’t find the examples in this book particularly enlightening, inspiring, or memorable.
April 20, 2021
Odnoszę nieodparte wrażenie, że wszystkie amerykańskie poradniki o wychowywaniu dzieci są w większym lub mniejszym stopniu podporządkowane temu, by dzieciok jak najszybciej przestał zawracać gitarę i drzeć papę, a rodzic mógł natentychmiast wrócić na zakład. Bo jak inaczej zinterpretować rozdział o wypłakiwaniu się, tresowaniu dziecka do snu i sugestiami o tym, że młodego nie można uspokajać kołysaniem, bo się przyzwyczai (trochę za późno po tych 9 miesiącach, c'nie?). No więc ja trochę inaczej podchodzę do budowania samodzielności.
W sumie to polecam, sporo ciekawych tropów, ale nie warto traktować jako objawienie i koniecznie trzeba czytać z filtrem na amerykańskość. Montessori ma w końcu przygotowywać dziecko do funkcjonowania w danym czasie, miejscu i kulturze - i trzeba brać poprawkę na to, że u nas jednak trochę inaczej niż u nich.
W sumie to polecam, sporo ciekawych tropów, ale nie warto traktować jako objawienie i koniecznie trzeba czytać z filtrem na amerykańskość. Montessori ma w końcu przygotowywać dziecko do funkcjonowania w danym czasie, miejscu i kulturze - i trzeba brać poprawkę na to, że u nas jednak trochę inaczej niż u nich.
February 22, 2018
Montessori and RIE have a lot of overlap with the shared themed of respect, but Montessori asks you to be a lot more involved in steering their education. It can feel a bit much at times for young babies, but the sections here that talk about how to get started on teaching them to dress themselves and help with household tasks, those seem like they'll be really useful.
tl;dr is that all tasks can be broken down into orderly small steps to match where their skills are currently at and the process of being involved will leads to a sense of ownership. The goal is not just to get each task done as efficiently as the adult would, but to teach the kid at the same time. One smart technique, like let's say with brushing teeth or wiping something is "you take a turn, I'll take a turn" and putting yourselves on equal footing.
The language is a bit dry and academic at times and doesn't feel that modern, but they do also note that the philosophy and reasoning is important to cover so that you can adapt it and not necessarily get hung up the exact Montessori materials like you might otherwise on Pinterest or Instagram.
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Notes on philosophy:
* really big on "establishing a child's sense of order". Children cannot reason yet, so rely on memory and repetition to know what to do.
* break down all activities into manageable steps and make the process logical. "sequence and order, routine and ritual, organization and logical thinking through the practical-life activities"
* learning about order at home will allow the child to look for order elsewhere in the world
* adults' tendency is to get the child 'busy' to be free for our own tasks, but instead, accept that "practical life activities are for the child to do alongside us as a collaborative effort. We are not freed to do other things but because we are meeting our child's needs in self-formation, the days being to go more smoothly and happily for us both."
* through doing things together, the child learns: "she is able to do things, she is needed in her family, and she can give something to others. Ask her to set the table, to bring things from one place to another, to wash cups and other little things. You will be surprised how much and how well a small child can work. At the same time you must never forget to set the limits of her activity. Children need to know where they can go and what they can do in order to feel secure."
* "we do not want to miss the child's independent streak just because she still needs our help. It is precisely this time, when all acts of self-care are still difficult for the child, that she is so interested in participating in them."
* "It is breaking the process into simple steps, then doing them in the same way each time, slowly and methodically, step by step, for a very long time that leads to this success for the child."
* "be careful not to draw attention back to ourselves through applause or excessive comment...self-confidence for all of us is a result of our genuine achievements, not someone else's assessment of them. Adults cannot give children self-esteem. They must earn it for themselves through their own efforts."
Suggested tactics:
* use different materials for different activities, like a different pitcher for water vs. juice vs. milk.
* Model methodical ways for doing everything, like wiping off a table with a sponge. Try completing a task with your nondominant hand to be reminded of how much coordination and concentration needs to be developed by the kid
* "With most personal grooming activities you need to alternate turns with your child. After your child makes her attempt, say, "Now it is my turn," without mentioning that her turn did not quite do that job. At times you will need to put your hand on your child's hand to guide the action to be taken. As in everything we do with children, you need to be gentle and move at their slower pace, inviting their participation. You are offering your child a learning opportunity."
tl;dr is that all tasks can be broken down into orderly small steps to match where their skills are currently at and the process of being involved will leads to a sense of ownership. The goal is not just to get each task done as efficiently as the adult would, but to teach the kid at the same time. One smart technique, like let's say with brushing teeth or wiping something is "you take a turn, I'll take a turn" and putting yourselves on equal footing.
The language is a bit dry and academic at times and doesn't feel that modern, but they do also note that the philosophy and reasoning is important to cover so that you can adapt it and not necessarily get hung up the exact Montessori materials like you might otherwise on Pinterest or Instagram.
===============================
Notes on philosophy:
* really big on "establishing a child's sense of order". Children cannot reason yet, so rely on memory and repetition to know what to do.
* break down all activities into manageable steps and make the process logical. "sequence and order, routine and ritual, organization and logical thinking through the practical-life activities"
* learning about order at home will allow the child to look for order elsewhere in the world
* adults' tendency is to get the child 'busy' to be free for our own tasks, but instead, accept that "practical life activities are for the child to do alongside us as a collaborative effort. We are not freed to do other things but because we are meeting our child's needs in self-formation, the days being to go more smoothly and happily for us both."
* through doing things together, the child learns: "she is able to do things, she is needed in her family, and she can give something to others. Ask her to set the table, to bring things from one place to another, to wash cups and other little things. You will be surprised how much and how well a small child can work. At the same time you must never forget to set the limits of her activity. Children need to know where they can go and what they can do in order to feel secure."
* "we do not want to miss the child's independent streak just because she still needs our help. It is precisely this time, when all acts of self-care are still difficult for the child, that she is so interested in participating in them."
* "It is breaking the process into simple steps, then doing them in the same way each time, slowly and methodically, step by step, for a very long time that leads to this success for the child."
* "be careful not to draw attention back to ourselves through applause or excessive comment...self-confidence for all of us is a result of our genuine achievements, not someone else's assessment of them. Adults cannot give children self-esteem. They must earn it for themselves through their own efforts."
Suggested tactics:
* use different materials for different activities, like a different pitcher for water vs. juice vs. milk.
* Model methodical ways for doing everything, like wiping off a table with a sponge. Try completing a task with your nondominant hand to be reminded of how much coordination and concentration needs to be developed by the kid
* "With most personal grooming activities you need to alternate turns with your child. After your child makes her attempt, say, "Now it is my turn," without mentioning that her turn did not quite do that job. At times you will need to put your hand on your child's hand to guide the action to be taken. As in everything we do with children, you need to be gentle and move at their slower pace, inviting their participation. You are offering your child a learning opportunity."
April 12, 2021
Please keep in mind that this book was published in 2003 and I personally found it very outdated. Having a 8 month baby, I already have red some books about breasfeeding and taking care of an infant. The information about breastfeeding in this book is outdated and judgemental.
"The mother who feeds her child without making the least effort to teach him how to hold a spoon for himself and to try to find his mouth with it, and who does not at least eat herself, inviting the child to look and see how she does it, is not a good mother."
I do not find appropriate to judge how much successful a mother is by her decision to feed her child in a way or another.
"In adulthood she is destined to live a chaotic life devoid of constancy, sense of security, and trust in self and others."
I find this book very intimidating when I read quotes like this. Of course I have established a routine for my child, but If on Saturday we decide to visit grandparents and on Saturday we go for a walk not in the usual time I don't think I will undermine her future at that degree of chaos.
Moreover, the structure of the book is very repetitive and the style is plain and boring.
Although i didn't find the examples in the book particularly helpful, it gives some useful insights about how the baby and toddler brain works.
It also contains some strong opinions about breastfeeding which, even having succesfully breastfed my baby, I found them extreme and mixed with some incomplete information.
"The mother who feeds her child without making the least effort to teach him how to hold a spoon for himself and to try to find his mouth with it, and who does not at least eat herself, inviting the child to look and see how she does it, is not a good mother."
I do not find appropriate to judge how much successful a mother is by her decision to feed her child in a way or another.
"In adulthood she is destined to live a chaotic life devoid of constancy, sense of security, and trust in self and others."
I find this book very intimidating when I read quotes like this. Of course I have established a routine for my child, but If on Saturday we decide to visit grandparents and on Saturday we go for a walk not in the usual time I don't think I will undermine her future at that degree of chaos.
Moreover, the structure of the book is very repetitive and the style is plain and boring.
Although i didn't find the examples in the book particularly helpful, it gives some useful insights about how the baby and toddler brain works.
It also contains some strong opinions about breastfeeding which, even having succesfully breastfed my baby, I found them extreme and mixed with some incomplete information.
February 19, 2015
Although this book is based on some good principles (for example, the idea that we should allow our children to engage more meaningfully in household activities), it also includes others that I find quite troubling. In particular, I found its approach to be inconsistent with attachment parenting to an extent that I worry could be damaging to the baby's well-being and to the parent-child relationship. I found the tone of the book to be quite judgmental, and like many parenting books, its rigid prescription for how to raise one's children would seem to sap the joy out of parenting and out of being a child. I need to read something else now to snap me out of the depression brought on by this book. And I should mention that I found some of the specific ideas in this book to be downright nonsense --- for example, that we should only give our young children access to four books at a time and that toddlers between the ages of 1 and 2 should be encouraged to cut raw vegetables with a knife.
January 31, 2019
As evidenced from the title, this book offers information on how to raise a child in a Montessori environment from birth through the toddler years. While there was certainly a host of helpful information here, I felt the authors came across as somewhat pretentious and judgmental. But in spite of the cringing I felt in several passages, I found it helpful to see better how to engage my children, how to help foster independence, and how to think creatively about what I give them to play with and how I help them play. There is much about this book that I won't keep with me, but the information on creating a calm environment where children can explore and become independent individuals was certainly helpful.
May 8, 2020
Overall, this was a good book, and I do intend to incorporate many of the Montessori principles in daily life. I appreciated how the authors presented the stages of development for a child as well as the inclusion of practical examples and anecdotes to demonstrate how the Montessori method supports the child at these stages. However, I did find some of the information to be a bit dated, and due to concern for SIDS, I disagree with the concept of a child sleeping in his own room at just a few weeks after birth as opposed to room sharing. I also thought that the presented schedule for weaning seemed a bit aggressive. Ultimately, parents will have to decide for themselves how to apply this information for their families, and there definitely is good information in this volume.
December 3, 2014
Great book that gives you some practical tips as well as provides with a solid mind frame how to introduce Montessori principles into your child's life. I am not a Montessori fanatic, but I think that its accent on child's independence, focus, and concentrated work is something that every mindful parent should look into and adapt for her own child and home environment.
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February 15, 2020I got the hang of what is the 'Montessori spirit' from this book. I also gain some insights into how the baby then toddler brain works.
Still, it took me a while to get started. I am not sure who the target audience for the book is, but as a mom with no education background I found it hard to get started reading the book.
Still, it took me a while to get started. I am not sure who the target audience for the book is, but as a mom with no education background I found it hard to get started reading the book.
September 16, 2020
Contains good information on the principles of Montessori, however keep in mind this was written in 2003 and some of the recommendations are outdated. The most obvious from the beginning were suggestions that go against safe infant sleeping practices.
Go into this with the knowledge that some info should be updated and you’ll be fine.
Go into this with the knowledge that some info should be updated and you’ll be fine.
February 27, 2009
I love this book! I've already begun implementing the changes it recommends in my family's life, and the results have been very positive.
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October 24, 2019Abandoned a few pages in.
June 14, 2021
It's basically an interpretation of the Montessori method for ages 0-3. In terms of practical advice, it does have quite a lot of specific suggestions (skip the toddler bed, put a mattress on the floor for baby!), although in the conclusion the book is careful to mention that the underlying philosophy and method is the important take-away, not the specific details. (The underlying philosophy is: observe the child, prepare the environment to meet the child's developmental needs, and give the child space to develop independence in order to complete their "work".) This book is helpful for someone becoming familiar with the Montessori method and looking for ways to implement it for the toddler or infant.
That being said, given the abundance of specific details, it's a bit easy to get lost in the implementation suggestions and lose sight of the bigger picture. Furthermore, while this book does go to some effort to indicate the actual developmental needs of the child at each age, it did not provide specific citations or evidence (for my taste) to justify the assertions it makes regarding child development. It is therefore unclear what assertions are evidence based and what are merely anecdotal (observed by the author or by Maria Montessori, etc).
It's worth reading (especially for some inspiration) but I wouldn't consider it the most authoritative source.
That being said, given the abundance of specific details, it's a bit easy to get lost in the implementation suggestions and lose sight of the bigger picture. Furthermore, while this book does go to some effort to indicate the actual developmental needs of the child at each age, it did not provide specific citations or evidence (for my taste) to justify the assertions it makes regarding child development. It is therefore unclear what assertions are evidence based and what are merely anecdotal (observed by the author or by Maria Montessori, etc).
It's worth reading (especially for some inspiration) but I wouldn't consider it the most authoritative source.
Read
November 26, 2022[Reading while expecting X/6] Abandoned about a quarter through. In the other books, they sometimes mention the parenting of "American tiger mothers", focusing all their efforts on children's performance. Did not really have an idea what's meant by it until I've started reading this.
Dropped it somewhere around the part talking about children writing 20 page essays on the books they've read while in first grade, and the dangers of (gasp!) unstructured playtime at the wrong points in development.
The review is biased of course, as I'm not really vibing with the performance-driven approach at the moment, but for someone else such approach can be valid. So if it is your thing some of this may be valuable to you.
Dropped it somewhere around the part talking about children writing 20 page essays on the books they've read while in first grade, and the dangers of (gasp!) unstructured playtime at the wrong points in development.
The review is biased of course, as I'm not really vibing with the performance-driven approach at the moment, but for someone else such approach can be valid. So if it is your thing some of this may be valuable to you.
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