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Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex
A candid, inspiring guide to finding lasting love by getting real about your relationship goals--based on the viral sermon series about dating, marriage, and sex.
Realer than the most real conversation you've ever heard in church on the topic, Michael Todd's honest, heartfelt, and powerful teaching on relationships has already impacted millions. Michael believes that relationships are the epicenter of human thriving. All too often, though, we lack the tools or vision to build our relationships on the wisdom and power of God.
In other words, it's good to have a goal, but you can't get there without proper aim! By charting a course that candidly examines our most common pitfalls, and by unpacking explosive truths from God's Word, Michael's debut book will transform a trendy hashtag into a future where your most cherished relationships thrive in relational life, hope, and abundance. Now those are real #relationshipgoals.
Realer than the most real conversation you've ever heard in church on the topic, Michael Todd's honest, heartfelt, and powerful teaching on relationships has already impacted millions. Michael believes that relationships are the epicenter of human thriving. All too often, though, we lack the tools or vision to build our relationships on the wisdom and power of God.
In other words, it's good to have a goal, but you can't get there without proper aim! By charting a course that candidly examines our most common pitfalls, and by unpacking explosive truths from God's Word, Michael's debut book will transform a trendy hashtag into a future where your most cherished relationships thrive in relational life, hope, and abundance. Now those are real #relationshipgoals.
208 pages, Hardcover
First published April 28, 2020
About the author
Michael Todd
10 books309 followersMichael Todd is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of RELATIONSHIP GOALS and the lead pastor of Transformation Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Michael's driving passion is re-presenting God to the lost and found for transformation in Christ.
Michael speaks at a variety of influential churches, events, and conferences each year, including Elevation Church, C3 Conference, Lakewood Church, VOUS Conference, Relentless Church, XO Conference, and many others.
Michael and his wife, Natalie, have been married since 2010 and live in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with their three beautiful children: Isabella, Michael Jr., and Ava.
Michael's driving passion is re-presenting God to the lost and found for transformation in Christ.
Michael speaks at a variety of influential churches, events, and conferences each year, including Elevation Church, C3 Conference, Lakewood Church, VOUS Conference, Relentless Church, XO Conference, and many others.
Michael and his wife, Natalie, have been married since 2010 and live in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with their three beautiful children: Isabella, Michael Jr., and Ava.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 647 reviews
December 29, 2020
So I have come back to rewrite this review.. I thought this book was an easy read, unfortunately I believe it is filled with the prosperity gospel which doesn't bring light to who God really is. I will say, it was great to read about Pastor Mike Todd's personal experience; however, is very seldom to bring a vast amount of scripture to back up his claims. I will say that it is often said by parents to "not have sex before marriage" however, few dive into the why behind it other than "the bible says not to." Oftentimes one is more compelled to do or obey something when they understand why. I think Pastor Michael Todd did a better job of explaining some of these struggles within this book. I was able to relate to some of the other struggles Christians have when it comes to thinking of what society says. However, once again, I believe it is prosperity gospel driven. Being a Believer is being a minority within society because what God has called us to do is not what society values. With that being said, it is important for us to run to the scriptures in good times and in bad times. It is important to take God's word literally and accept it as truth and out of love and fear for God that we follow His word. Therefore, I think that Pastor Michael Todd gave decent advice more so as a friend HOWEVER, there was not a lot of scripture to back up his experiences which is what I was hoping for. It's a quick and easy read, I would just caution greatly that some of the tips and advice can provide a very rough foundation of Christ for a relationship/friendship, however, there is no one size fit all model as every relationship/friendship is different therefore, run to the scriptures to love your spouse, family, and friends as Christ loves you. THAT is what we all need to strive for. Run to the scriptures for what God says and not what man says.
July 25, 2020
I’m mostly a huge fan of Pastor Mike on Sundays, but this book was an utter disappointment and left me with serious questions about Pastor Mike’s theology. Now, I’m no MDiv graduate (and neither is he, but I believe his co-writer was), but I do read and study my Bible and I know that a lot of what he is preaching in this text is not Biblically sound (e.g., “soul ties”). In fact, he contradicts himself many times throughout. Does marriage begin with the covenant of sex or with the documentation of a marriage license culture has decided to require? He was not clear at all regarding his stance on this but made it a point to condemn almost every relationship type outside of marriage.
This book recycled so many of the same old, same old stereotypical stories and tropes that have fueled purity culture in the Church for generations, while the Church has the audacity to wonder why so many folks have baggage around relationships. And don’t even get me started on his out-of-pocket comments about co-parenting or Pastor Natalie’s warning that if you don’t have sex with your husband *whenever he wants* (also, no mention of women’s sexual needs), that your husband will go looking for someone else. Shout out to the men who actually have self-discipline and control of their flesh — I know you exist!
There were so many extreme assumptions made in this book that it read like the “Fire & Brimstone” take on relationships with Drake and Rihanna lyrics throughout (BTW, I still don’t understand why he had to bring Rih into this). Honestly — and I never thought I’d say this in public — you’d be better off reading The Wait.
This book recycled so many of the same old, same old stereotypical stories and tropes that have fueled purity culture in the Church for generations, while the Church has the audacity to wonder why so many folks have baggage around relationships. And don’t even get me started on his out-of-pocket comments about co-parenting or Pastor Natalie’s warning that if you don’t have sex with your husband *whenever he wants* (also, no mention of women’s sexual needs), that your husband will go looking for someone else. Shout out to the men who actually have self-discipline and control of their flesh — I know you exist!
There were so many extreme assumptions made in this book that it read like the “Fire & Brimstone” take on relationships with Drake and Rihanna lyrics throughout (BTW, I still don’t understand why he had to bring Rih into this). Honestly — and I never thought I’d say this in public — you’d be better off reading The Wait.
January 19, 2024
I went into this one with high hopes and was majorly let down. This was not written from a solid biblical view like advertised and was mediocre advice, at best. There was nothing in it that stood out to me or was a light bulb moment or any information that isn’t already common sense. The secular song quotes added in are ridiculous and add so much cringe to this book.
Thank you WaterBrook & Multnomah, and NetGalley for a copy in return for my honest review.
Thank you WaterBrook & Multnomah, and NetGalley for a copy in return for my honest review.
March 10, 2020
MUST READ for anyone looking to go deeper in any relationship! While the book focuses on romantic relationships and is a great resource for anyone dating or married, many of the principles also apply to all relationships! A must read for anyone looking to get married, wondering if they should break up, or anyone married and looking to deepen their relationship with their spouse!
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July 7, 2021Full review now up @ https://bookerification.com/relations...
Rating: 4 stars
As someone who was first introduced to Michael Todd through his 'Relationship Goals' sermon series, I was really excited when 'Relationship Goals' the book was announced. I knew I had to get my hands on the book to revisit the contents of the series.
Sure enough, Mike Todd does not disappoint! His use of a simplistic writing style creates this casual and conversational tone that is representative of his personality. I laughed, reflected and gained new insights at various parts of this book, just as I would when listening to one of his sermons.
_______________________________
Full review to come @ https://bookerification.com/
“There’s more to relationships than what pop culture has taught us or our own imaginings have dreamed up”
Rating: 4 stars
As someone who was first introduced to Michael Todd through his 'Relationship Goals' sermon series, I was really excited when 'Relationship Goals' the book was announced. I knew I had to get my hands on the book to revisit the contents of the series.
Sure enough, Mike Todd does not disappoint! His use of a simplistic writing style creates this casual and conversational tone that is representative of his personality. I laughed, reflected and gained new insights at various parts of this book, just as I would when listening to one of his sermons.
_______________________________
Full review to come @ https://bookerification.com/
“There’s more to relationships than what pop culture has taught us or our own imaginings have dreamed up”
April 27, 2020
I really enjoyed the Relationship Goals sermon series Pastor Todd did a while back and so when he announced that he would be coming out with a book, I knew that I wanted to be one of the first ones to get my hands on it. I grew up Christian but not with a ton of dating advice from pastors or even family. Most of what I learned about love was from friends and television. No one in my family had healthy marriages and for the longest time, that just wasn't something I wasn't sure if I would ever be interested in.
The series helped me to examine the relationships in my life and see if they were fulfilling God's purpose for my life. I had to cut people off, I had to forgive others. It was a book that allowed me to trust more and to lean into relationships with all I have with no fear of the what ifs. It has taught me to be a better girlfriend, a better daughter and a better coworker.
I think the book tries to focus on non-romantic relationships but doesn't really nail it. To me, this book was for those that are single, married, and dating and looking to put their all into it. I will be giving this book away this week on my instagram @WellReadandFed if anyone wants a shot at winning it!
The series helped me to examine the relationships in my life and see if they were fulfilling God's purpose for my life. I had to cut people off, I had to forgive others. It was a book that allowed me to trust more and to lean into relationships with all I have with no fear of the what ifs. It has taught me to be a better girlfriend, a better daughter and a better coworker.
I think the book tries to focus on non-romantic relationships but doesn't really nail it. To me, this book was for those that are single, married, and dating and looking to put their all into it. I will be giving this book away this week on my instagram @WellReadandFed if anyone wants a shot at winning it!
June 9, 2020
This book was okay. I love Michael Todd, but for some reason the tone of a lot of stuff in there was kinda... cheesey? The advice and guidance was good though! I think it’s more of how it was presented.
January 13, 2021
My first Non fiction of the year. Michael Todd writes about love, sex and Marriage. I am 51 and you would think I have this all down but I have the foggiest idea about any of these. Michael tells us how to live God centered life with these issues. Now he doesn't beat around the bush when he teaches you. He hits right in the middle of the problems most of us face living in a fallen world. I am divorced and he talks about your love languages, your soul ties, and how to follow Gods will for these areas. I learned a lot. I recommend this book to anyone. A young adult who is out for the first time in the real world. A woman who suffered from divorce or someone who had sexual relationship out of marriage and wants to follow what God has in store for them. A great read and I am glad I had a chance to do so.
January 7, 2021
Woohoohoohoo what a timely book. This is the modern manual for romantic relationships. Certainly colloquial, but deep with truth. A great reminder that God is the author of relationships and He knows how to make them work!
October 20, 2021
1.5 rounded down
This review “ain’t for errrbody.” Before you ask, I am a woman who loves Jesus, grew up in the church and stayed in the church. Like everyone, I’ve had my ups and downs in life, but I have a solid relationship with God that has and will continue to be My Rock. Point. Blank. PeriodT!
(Now that we got that out of the way)
Ummm.....really struggled here to finish this book. I wanted to like and support it but it fell short on several ends in my opinion. First, the spoken word does not always translate well in the literal sense. For the topic,this book seems way too casual with some thrown in current clichés and song lyrics. As I was reading the book, I kept wondering if he wrote it for teenagers or for grown people with grown issues. Given the topic, I assumed it was the latter and not the former. But the writing style kept me thinking this was really for high school and college students. That being said, I have read better young adult books that read better than this one.
I have read on some reviews that this sermon series was actually much better than the book. I will have listen to it and go from there. Ultimately I was highly disappointed in some of the advice the author. I pretty almost stopped reading when I got his definition of a soul tie - “The soul is made up of three distinct parts: the mind, the will, and the emotions. Your mind is how you think, your will is what you desire, and your emotions display how you feel. If you think about it, the collaboration of these three entities directs your entire life.” Where is this is located in the Bible? It seems to contrast Matthew 22:37 where it is written “Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' I am not a biblical scholar by any means, but the two seem to contradict themselves. Maybe I am the one that need to do more research.
His unfounded non evidence-based assumptions on home life were...astonishing. And I quote “You’re a child of divorce or of unmarried parents, with bad home examples from Mom and Dad, your aunties and uncles and cousins, and the grandparents. You probably grew up with some level of abuse or neglect, fear or anxiety as a result.”
I also had to throw the ebook down when the author was talking to victims of domestic violence “But I urge you to really try for reconciliation if possible. If you are in an unhealthy, abusive marriage, get help. Don’t suffer in silence. Maybe you need to separate and get intensive counseling.” Maybe you should separate?!?!! That left me speechless.
There is so much more I could say... but why? Let me just pick up a (much) better book....
This review “ain’t for errrbody.” Before you ask, I am a woman who loves Jesus, grew up in the church and stayed in the church. Like everyone, I’ve had my ups and downs in life, but I have a solid relationship with God that has and will continue to be My Rock. Point. Blank. PeriodT!
(Now that we got that out of the way)
Ummm.....really struggled here to finish this book. I wanted to like and support it but it fell short on several ends in my opinion. First, the spoken word does not always translate well in the literal sense. For the topic,this book seems way too casual with some thrown in current clichés and song lyrics. As I was reading the book, I kept wondering if he wrote it for teenagers or for grown people with grown issues. Given the topic, I assumed it was the latter and not the former. But the writing style kept me thinking this was really for high school and college students. That being said, I have read better young adult books that read better than this one.
I have read on some reviews that this sermon series was actually much better than the book. I will have listen to it and go from there. Ultimately I was highly disappointed in some of the advice the author. I pretty almost stopped reading when I got his definition of a soul tie - “The soul is made up of three distinct parts: the mind, the will, and the emotions. Your mind is how you think, your will is what you desire, and your emotions display how you feel. If you think about it, the collaboration of these three entities directs your entire life.” Where is this is located in the Bible? It seems to contrast Matthew 22:37 where it is written “Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' I am not a biblical scholar by any means, but the two seem to contradict themselves. Maybe I am the one that need to do more research.
His unfounded non evidence-based assumptions on home life were...astonishing. And I quote “You’re a child of divorce or of unmarried parents, with bad home examples from Mom and Dad, your aunties and uncles and cousins, and the grandparents. You probably grew up with some level of abuse or neglect, fear or anxiety as a result.”
I also had to throw the ebook down when the author was talking to victims of domestic violence “But I urge you to really try for reconciliation if possible. If you are in an unhealthy, abusive marriage, get help. Don’t suffer in silence. Maybe you need to separate and get intensive counseling.” Maybe you should separate?!?!! That left me speechless.
There is so much more I could say... but why? Let me just pick up a (much) better book....
July 27, 2020
I’ll go ahead and mention outright that my review is based solely off of this book. I know there are people who do not care for Pastor Todd or his preaching. I am personally unacquainted with him personally and can only speak about his preaching from what I have read in this book.
That being said, here is my review!
I read some reviews on this book saying that it is “unbiblical”. After a slow and thorough reading of this book, I personally do not think that is true. Most to all of Todd’s main points line up directly with the scripture he cites. The book is, indeed, more of an application of biblical principles book - however that does not mean that the book is unbiblical. In places where I was curious about particular scriptures he mentions, I looked them up, and they did indeed prove his point(s).
In addition, many people condemned (in reviews I read) the way that Todd writes. The book is written as if he is talking to you rather than solely being a pen to paper style - but I did not find it to be degrading or distracting. He speaks openly, vulnerably, and as himself - and I do not understand why people have a problem with that. He does use phrases in certain places that make you think “that could have been worded better” - but it does not take away from the message of the book in any form.
I was skeptical about this book at first, not knowing anything about it or about Todd, but I was truly BLOWN AWAY in the end. It was SUCH a good book on biblical relationships. I so wish I had known and put into practice what he has written in this book before getting involved emotionally with a lot of different guys the past two years in college. In addition, he does an incredible job of taking you through the entire relationship process - singleness, dating, engagement, marriage, sex, love, and children. (And he explains why he discusses them in that exact order too!) I learned some very good things about each season from this book, and feel I have gained valuable insight into how to make my next romantic relationship work to the glory of God.
It’s worth mentioning he has some great sections on covenant marriage and soul ties!! Look for those when you’re reading. :)
I learned so much about myself and about relationships from this book. Would 10/10 recommend.
That being said, here is my review!
I read some reviews on this book saying that it is “unbiblical”. After a slow and thorough reading of this book, I personally do not think that is true. Most to all of Todd’s main points line up directly with the scripture he cites. The book is, indeed, more of an application of biblical principles book - however that does not mean that the book is unbiblical. In places where I was curious about particular scriptures he mentions, I looked them up, and they did indeed prove his point(s).
In addition, many people condemned (in reviews I read) the way that Todd writes. The book is written as if he is talking to you rather than solely being a pen to paper style - but I did not find it to be degrading or distracting. He speaks openly, vulnerably, and as himself - and I do not understand why people have a problem with that. He does use phrases in certain places that make you think “that could have been worded better” - but it does not take away from the message of the book in any form.
I was skeptical about this book at first, not knowing anything about it or about Todd, but I was truly BLOWN AWAY in the end. It was SUCH a good book on biblical relationships. I so wish I had known and put into practice what he has written in this book before getting involved emotionally with a lot of different guys the past two years in college. In addition, he does an incredible job of taking you through the entire relationship process - singleness, dating, engagement, marriage, sex, love, and children. (And he explains why he discusses them in that exact order too!) I learned some very good things about each season from this book, and feel I have gained valuable insight into how to make my next romantic relationship work to the glory of God.
It’s worth mentioning he has some great sections on covenant marriage and soul ties!! Look for those when you’re reading. :)
I learned so much about myself and about relationships from this book. Would 10/10 recommend.
May 21, 2020
I'm sorry but this book is just what should be common sense and I didn't learn anything new :(
SORRRY!
SORRRY!
July 9, 2020
This book may be holy grail for someone, so I would not tell someone not to pick it up. However, for me, a professional single woman, Michael Todd has said absolutely nothing enlightening. The advice he gives is solid and laced with plenty of biblical reference. I also appreciated the casual tone used. Unfortunately, because I've done this single thing for almost as long as he has been married, I just did not find value in the advice for myself. I almost feel that I could have written this myself. All that to say, I do not think this was a bad book, I think I was the wrong audience. For whoever needs it, pick it up, take note and apply as needed.
May 15, 2020
FIVE STARS!
Pastor Mike gets real so before you start reading, get ready to experience both reassurances and convictions. I love how he didn’t rely solely on his own knowledge and life experiences but also included scriptures from The Bible to support his discussions. If you’re saved, not saved, single, married, divorced, engaged, dating, young, old, black, white ...this book is for YOU.
Pastor Mike gets real so before you start reading, get ready to experience both reassurances and convictions. I love how he didn’t rely solely on his own knowledge and life experiences but also included scriptures from The Bible to support his discussions. If you’re saved, not saved, single, married, divorced, engaged, dating, young, old, black, white ...this book is for YOU.
September 2, 2020
I knew I would hate this book, but I read it anyway to take part in a reading group. Though the books claims to be for everyone - it was focused on shaming single women. It promised to be relevant and cover new ground - the writing was terrible and held on to old tropes. Simply put, this book was everything I knew it would be: awful and harmful. Michael spent too much time trying to be "hip" that he missed so many opportunities to pull in believers and non-believers. I am so glad that I am already a believer because this book left me uninspired and desiring much. I wish I could get all 208 pages back.
June 7, 2020
I loved this book!!
I decided to get this book after loving the devotional plan from the Bible app. I was hesitant because I am definitely not one for relationship books. But this book is awesome!!
I love how he is so relatable to today's times. Not only does he explain scriptures but he also quotes R&B songs/ today's songs :) He is definitely not your average preacher.
The first day of reading this book I even ordered the study guide. This is one book where I will read more than once and use as a reference.
This book is not just for singles, but it is also for any relationship (work, siblings, friendship). Also, it is good for married couples.
I highly recommend for anyone looking for a faith based perspective on relationships.
I decided to get this book after loving the devotional plan from the Bible app. I was hesitant because I am definitely not one for relationship books. But this book is awesome!!
I love how he is so relatable to today's times. Not only does he explain scriptures but he also quotes R&B songs/ today's songs :) He is definitely not your average preacher.
The first day of reading this book I even ordered the study guide. This is one book where I will read more than once and use as a reference.
This book is not just for singles, but it is also for any relationship (work, siblings, friendship). Also, it is good for married couples.
I highly recommend for anyone looking for a faith based perspective on relationships.
May 30, 2020
Basic information repeated with updated analogies.
February 26, 2024
update (feb. 25, 2024):
please do not read or buy this book. it’s full of purity culture, homophobia, & the prosperity gospel. also, there are no such thing as “soul ties”. i won’t be taking advice from a man who spit on someone’s face during a recorded sermon.
i’m ashamed i ever recommended this book.
original review (jun. 07, 2020):
this is one of the best books i've read on godly relationships. pastor mike isn't cheesy or stern or all of the other things you often see in christian books on dating. so often, the only thing the church says about relationships is "don't have sex before marriage," but that's not very helpful. i appreciate pastor mike's candid approach to the subject, especially the examples from his own life that he provides. & i LOVE the last chapter where his wife joins the discussion. a quick read that i would definitely recommend to christians (or nonchristians).
please do not read or buy this book. it’s full of purity culture, homophobia, & the prosperity gospel. also, there are no such thing as “soul ties”. i won’t be taking advice from a man who spit on someone’s face during a recorded sermon.
i’m ashamed i ever recommended this book.
original review (jun. 07, 2020):
this is one of the best books i've read on godly relationships. pastor mike isn't cheesy or stern or all of the other things you often see in christian books on dating. so often, the only thing the church says about relationships is "don't have sex before marriage," but that's not very helpful. i appreciate pastor mike's candid approach to the subject, especially the examples from his own life that he provides. & i LOVE the last chapter where his wife joins the discussion. a quick read that i would definitely recommend to christians (or nonchristians).
January 12, 2025
Update: 2/3/24 - changed from 4 stars to 2 star review. Upon further review, spending more time in the Word and reading other’s reviews, I have realized that the advice offered in this book didn’t provide anything new as far as dating books go and not Biblical as well. I’m also seriously questioning Todd’s theology and teachings that are being given in light of a comment he made about Christ not reaching His full potential and also because of the weirdly and sexually sacrilegious Easter service given at his church in 2023. I’m really bummed as I originally thought that what he was teaching in the book was correct, but I guess not. 😢
I don’t plan to read his other book Crazy Faith.
I don’t plan to read his other book Crazy Faith.
April 26, 2020
Relationship Goals is a phenomenal read! Whether you are single, dating, married, divorced or it’s complicated this book is for you! Pastor Michael Todd gives the playbook for relationships in this book. In a society where pop culture constantly changes, this book helps you to establish a healthy relational foundation. He discusses things that you won’t here in church or in pop culture, even the tough topics such as sex. I will definitely be re-reading this again!
Read
July 17, 2020I’ll give my honest opinion later.
February 15, 2020
This will be a fantastic read.
April 17, 2020
This. Right. Here. Is. PURE FIRE FROM GOD! Easy to read, adaptable to any relationship, and its H.O.T!
April 14, 2020
Relationship Goals, How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex written by Michael Todd is a book with a lot of potential. I did receive the unedited proof. What I believe could make this book stronger and truly transform hearts is the use of scripture reference to back up the points that Michael Todd does make. When I read this book I was surprised at the amount of personal interpretation but there was no scripture to be found before or after the story is told. I believe that personal interpretation is a wonderful tool to emphasize what is being said in the scripture. However, leaving it completely out of the sequence is a major mistake that this book has. The Word of God is the only thing that can truly transform the heart. I was really surprised that there was not as much scripture because I listen to Michael Todd on almost a weekly basis and that man is FULL of the word.
The one major thing I loved about this book is the emphasis on soul tie’s. There are not enough books that warn people about the dangers and even science behind the consequences of fornication and premarital sex. I love the transparency shared in this book and that it was easily relatable. I understand that Michael Todd is ‘HOT’, humble, open, and transparent. But when I read about the “little swimmers”, I thought about the young audience potential reading this book or those who struggle with purity. I feel that this could lead down a road one does not need to go down. I do love the transparency and relatability that Michael Todd does share with everyone he deals with, because the world has real problems and needs real solutions.
Overall, I enjoyed the book and do think that the use of scripture and personal interpretation brought together could truly transform hearts. I love the relatability but there must be a point where we have to step back and say this could be a stumbling block for someone else. I only found this in one place in the book, which is great! I absolutely loved that Natalie spoke at the end, she is a great writer and it is so important to have both the husband and wife’s perspective. The emphasis on soul tie’s is what really made me happy to read this book and would make me recommend it to someone else. I would recommend this book to late teenager’s, young adults, or anyone who desires to understand purity and the difference between #RelationshipGoals and a godly relationship. With all of this being said I would give Relationship Goals 3/5 stars. Scripture is the only thing that can truly bring transformation. Without it, its just personal interpretation and nowhere for Holy Spirit to convict and bring repentance through the Word.
The one major thing I loved about this book is the emphasis on soul tie’s. There are not enough books that warn people about the dangers and even science behind the consequences of fornication and premarital sex. I love the transparency shared in this book and that it was easily relatable. I understand that Michael Todd is ‘HOT’, humble, open, and transparent. But when I read about the “little swimmers”, I thought about the young audience potential reading this book or those who struggle with purity. I feel that this could lead down a road one does not need to go down. I do love the transparency and relatability that Michael Todd does share with everyone he deals with, because the world has real problems and needs real solutions.
Overall, I enjoyed the book and do think that the use of scripture and personal interpretation brought together could truly transform hearts. I love the relatability but there must be a point where we have to step back and say this could be a stumbling block for someone else. I only found this in one place in the book, which is great! I absolutely loved that Natalie spoke at the end, she is a great writer and it is so important to have both the husband and wife’s perspective. The emphasis on soul tie’s is what really made me happy to read this book and would make me recommend it to someone else. I would recommend this book to late teenager’s, young adults, or anyone who desires to understand purity and the difference between #RelationshipGoals and a godly relationship. With all of this being said I would give Relationship Goals 3/5 stars. Scripture is the only thing that can truly bring transformation. Without it, its just personal interpretation and nowhere for Holy Spirit to convict and bring repentance through the Word.
May 9, 2020
In his book #Relationship Goals, author and pastor Michael Todd conveys the timeless truths of Scripture with a twist of contemporary culture. With a title like #Relationship Goals, I assumed this book would be all about advice for dating or marriage success, but the most profound takeaways for me were about singleness. Singleness is not a prison sentence; it’s preparation for the palace (thank you, Esther and Joseph)! Through the lens of relationship, Todd helped me to see the biblical perspective on singleness and savor my life in this season.
Todd says, “Single was Adam’s first relationship status...Our high divorce rate may have less to do with bad marriages and more to do with bad singleness…The process that will help prepare for a successful marriage works best while you are single. If your marriage is in trouble, look back at your singleness for the source of your problem....Sync up with God sequence: love God and build relationship with Him, love yourself and embrace your singleness, and then love others...Singleness is the time for ‘I:’ invest, imagine, and inspire. Invest in what you want to see grow in your life. Imagine what you could be tomorrow if you started today. And inspire others by using everything you have now to make a difference.”
As a single I want to invest my time learning about and experiencing God. I want to do intensive studying on my own, attend Bible studies, go to conferences, and live out my faith in missions trips. I want to invest in this opportunity to get to know God better and worship Him and to actively invest in my friendships. To work on my weaknesses, build on my strengths. To pursue the good things about myself— my love for travel, my desire to give back to my community, and my commitment to healthy living. To work on my creative passion of writing and build my savings and retirement. To fill the pages of my passport. To move toward fulfilling the purpose God is planting in my heart. How do I process information (I need time), resolve conflict (passive aggressive avoidance), and receive love (words of encouragement and gifts) and how do I perceive the world around me (liberal feminisit)? I want to allow God to shape my character. To impact others by sharing my story and mentoring someone else. Love God, love others as I love myself: there are no greater #Relationship Goals than these!
Todd says, “Single was Adam’s first relationship status...Our high divorce rate may have less to do with bad marriages and more to do with bad singleness…The process that will help prepare for a successful marriage works best while you are single. If your marriage is in trouble, look back at your singleness for the source of your problem....Sync up with God sequence: love God and build relationship with Him, love yourself and embrace your singleness, and then love others...Singleness is the time for ‘I:’ invest, imagine, and inspire. Invest in what you want to see grow in your life. Imagine what you could be tomorrow if you started today. And inspire others by using everything you have now to make a difference.”
As a single I want to invest my time learning about and experiencing God. I want to do intensive studying on my own, attend Bible studies, go to conferences, and live out my faith in missions trips. I want to invest in this opportunity to get to know God better and worship Him and to actively invest in my friendships. To work on my weaknesses, build on my strengths. To pursue the good things about myself— my love for travel, my desire to give back to my community, and my commitment to healthy living. To work on my creative passion of writing and build my savings and retirement. To fill the pages of my passport. To move toward fulfilling the purpose God is planting in my heart. How do I process information (I need time), resolve conflict (passive aggressive avoidance), and receive love (words of encouragement and gifts) and how do I perceive the world around me (liberal feminisit)? I want to allow God to shape my character. To impact others by sharing my story and mentoring someone else. Love God, love others as I love myself: there are no greater #Relationship Goals than these!
November 23, 2020
I've heard Michael Todd on podcasts and have watched his relationship sermon series on YouTube and enjoyed those, but this book fell short for me. I did like that he talks about all stages of relationships - single, dating, engaged, and married, and tells people not to just read about the stage they're in because they can learn something. The addition of talking about soul ties was nice since many books don't mention it (it can be a controversial topic in the church). But, I didn't really learn or read anything new in this book. It would probably be better for someone younger or someone who hasn't read as many Christian relationship books as I have.
Todd is around my age, so he grew up in the church at the height of purity culture. Unfortunately in this book he seemed to lean into the shaming side of purity culture which is extremely off-putting for me. I also didn't like in that in the section about divorce he essentially said that if you're in an abusive marriage you should try to reconcile and fix it. If you need to live alone and do separate counseling for a while then ok, but you really should try to make it work. NO. This is terrible advice, but unfortunately all-too-common in the church. The church needs to stop telling women to stay with their abusers, and it was extremely disappointing to see Todd continue to play into this harmful rhetoric.
I liked that Todd had his wife Natalie come in and write the majority of one of the chapters. It was cute to read their banter on the page and see the love they have for each other. But, while I don't know their gender roles views, this chapter read strongly of complementarian which I didn't enjoy. It was too much of "women let your husbands lead no matter what" which can be dangerous. We even see how this was dangerous in their marriage with Michael ruining their credit score because of a TV purchase. Even though Natalie tried to spin it in a positive light of her supporting him and his decisions, I just couldn't get behind it and really didn't enjoy the complementarian vibe of this chapter overall.
Todd is around my age, so he grew up in the church at the height of purity culture. Unfortunately in this book he seemed to lean into the shaming side of purity culture which is extremely off-putting for me. I also didn't like in that in the section about divorce he essentially said that if you're in an abusive marriage you should try to reconcile and fix it. If you need to live alone and do separate counseling for a while then ok, but you really should try to make it work. NO. This is terrible advice, but unfortunately all-too-common in the church. The church needs to stop telling women to stay with their abusers, and it was extremely disappointing to see Todd continue to play into this harmful rhetoric.
I liked that Todd had his wife Natalie come in and write the majority of one of the chapters. It was cute to read their banter on the page and see the love they have for each other. But, while I don't know their gender roles views, this chapter read strongly of complementarian which I didn't enjoy. It was too much of "women let your husbands lead no matter what" which can be dangerous. We even see how this was dangerous in their marriage with Michael ruining their credit score because of a TV purchase. Even though Natalie tried to spin it in a positive light of her supporting him and his decisions, I just couldn't get behind it and really didn't enjoy the complementarian vibe of this chapter overall.
May 29, 2020
Well, I made it about 60% through this, though most of it was just me rolling my eyes! Unfortunately, all of the #relationshipgoals in this book are for Christians and Christians only. I kept reading trying to find something awesome, maybe one chapter or two sentences, but it just continued to get more ridiculous as I kept going. I'll just go on my merry way sinning it up now.
July 14, 2020
Nothing new. Just common sense logic on relationships with some bible verses and song lyrics. There was not much on how to win in dating. I found the real stories more interesting that the points itself.
The book mainly talks about why you should not resent your singleness and take advantage of it & what to be to get to marriage and be in marriage.
The book mainly talks about why you should not resent your singleness and take advantage of it & what to be to get to marriage and be in marriage.
March 30, 2021
This was a read many [friends] have suggested so I decided to dive into this non fic text. Unfortunately, it was really just basic information that many of this generation don't consider. Most of these messages I've heard preached over the pulpit but this was just repeated information with updated scenarios. So, though this book might be for some people, it wasn't for me.
November 10, 2021
Definitely did not agree with some of his theology. He also made a lot of comments towards women that I didn’t agree with. Wish books and pastors would challenge men to fight their flesh rather than filling their needs within marriage.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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