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A smart, imaginative, and evocative novel of love, betrayal, revenge, and redemption, told with razor-sharp wit and affection, in which a young woman discovers the greatest superpower—for good or ill—is a properly executed spreadsheet.
Anna does boring things for terrible people because even criminals need office help and she needs a job. Working for a monster lurking beneath the surface of the world isn’t glamorous. But is it really worse than working for an oil conglomerate or an insurance company? In this economy?As a temp, she’s just a cog in the machine. But when she finally gets a promising assignment, everything goes very wrong, and an encounter with the so-called “hero” leaves her badly injured. And, to her horror, compared to the other bodies strewn about, she’s the lucky one.
So, of course, then she gets laid off.
With no money and no mobility, with only her anger and internet research acumen, she discovers her suffering at the hands of a hero is far from unique. When people start listening to the story that her data tells, she realizes she might not be as powerless as she thinks.
Because the key to everything is data: knowing how to collate it, how to manipulate it, and how to weaponize it. By tallying up the human cost these caped forces of nature wreak upon the world, she discovers that the line between good and evil is mostly marketing. And with social media and viral videos, she can control that appearance.
It’s not too long before she’s employed once more, this time by one of the worst villains on earth. As she becomes an increasingly valuable lieutenant, she might just save the world.
A sharp, witty, modern debut, Hench explores the individual cost of justice through a fascinating mix of Millennial office politics, heroism measured through data science, body horror, and a profound misunderstanding of quantum mechanics.
400 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 22, 2020
“Leviathan liked my proposal and the oldest Ocean Four child was soon scheduled for a routine nonviolent abduction. (Most abductions were nonviolent; there was often far more to be gained from the psychodrama of when the target lost their beloved and got them back. In this case, the ransom mattered much less than the target’s trauma from the experience, and their haunted relief at a near miss.)”
“I’m petty and mean, maybe, but I don’t know if picking on heroes the way I do fully counts as evil.”
* In her “righteous” outrage, Anna conveniently glances over a minor detail: She was injured while just standing there, as a part of an entourage of a villain who was about to mutilate a kidnapped child for ransom. She was not helping an old lady cross the street.
“Looking at it all written down, watching the numbers add up, it seemed like a high price to pay for a pinkie finger and some cryptocurrency.”
You signed up for the job as a villain’s hench.
Take the damn responsibility, you whiny asshole.
“We make their private and public lives as miserable as we can. Make them late; make things go wrong around them; ruin their dry cleaning and dinners and marriages. Fuck with their social media profiles and public perception.”
“Watching her when I could, a horrible realization dawned on me: if Leviathan died, if it all fell apart, everything I had done would be for nothing. I would have killed Accelerator for nothing. I would have destroyed Quantum’s life, and caused the death of her lover and his partner, and all of the other splash damage and ripple effects, for nothing. The math would fall apart, and I would be left with nothing but more lifeyears of debt than I could ever hope to pay off.”
“You know why they can’t get to our loved ones?” Keller asked.
“Because they’d never stoop to it?” I answered.
“Because we don’t have any.”
“[he] had a great deal in common with a diamond: aesthetically tacky; value artificially ascribed by corporate greed; cultural significance vastly overinflated; and incredibly hard to damage.”
“you know why they can’t get to our loved ones?” keller asked.anna’s staff also includes a couple of interesting characters: vesper, more cyborg than human at this point, who quickly becomes a supportive friend; molly, an IT whizz with thick glasses and mechanical hands; nour, an incredibly charismatic sweet-talker who can impersonate anyone; jav, who’s just as good with spreadsheets as anna is; and melinda, a badass tattooed chauffeur who can master any vehicle.
“because they’d never stoop to it?” i answered.
“because we don’t have any.”
… and two young men who scowled at each other, both wearing leather jackets and white t-shirts. their matching, perfect pompadours trembled as they eyed each other aggressively, like the wattles on a pair of roosters.and sometimes the best way to cope with extreme violence and getting threatened by people with so much more power than you is to just sarcastically monologue right back at them :)
“wore the same dress to prom, i see,” june said in my ear, and i nearly choked on the coffee in my mouth.
Make them late; make things go wrong around them; ruin their dry cleaning and dinners and marriages. Fuck with their social media profiles and public perception.
No one wants to be a real hero; it’s too hard. My husband didn’t give a damn whether the work I was doing was noble as long as it appeared to be. When I killed someone then—something I did a lot more than I do now—it was for the greater good. It was such bullshit.Anna is a hench, working temp jobs as a data analyst and spreadsheet master for various supervillains. Then an assignment goes wrong, she runs into a superhero, landing in hospital with a shattered leg and losing her job to boot. Of course, she swears revenge, intent on using her skill with data to expose how bad for humanity superheroes are. And then she gets an offer for a much better job…
I guess the guest pass isn’t the easiest thingWe desperately, desperately need a sequel and not just because of the hinted at but tragically unexplored potential for a monsterfucking romance subplot.
It’s a fucking suppository
We have ones you can swallow now
Oh yeah?
I’ll make sure they get you the older model
Asshole
Exactly
This is why you have no other friends