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First published June 5, 2018
"Don't ever let anyone tell you what being Indian means. Too many of us died to get just a little bit of us here, right now, right in this kitchen."
We all came to the Big Oakland Powwow for different reasons. The messy, dangling strands of our lives got pulled into a braid - tied to the back of everything we’d been done no to get us here. We’ve been coming from miles. And we’ve been coming from years, generations, lifetimes, layered in prayer and handwoven regalia, beaded and sewn together, feathered, braided blessed and cursed.
We made powwows because we needed a place to be together. Something intertribal, something old, something to make us money, something we could work towards, for our jewellery, our songs, our dances, our drum. We kept powwowing because there aren’t many places where we get to be all together, where we get to see and hear each other.
Getting us to cities was supposed to be the final, necessary step in our assimilation, absorption, erasure .... But the city made us new and we made it ours
“I want to bring something new to the vision of the Native experience as seen on the screen. We haven’t seen the Urban Indian story. What we’ve seen is full of the kind of stereotypes that are the reason no one is interested in the Native story in general …..it’s too sad, so sad it can’t even be entertaining .. but more importantly because of the way its portrayed it looks pathetic …. [but] the individual people and stories you come across are not pathetic or weak or in need of pity, and there is real passion there and rage”
Kids are jumping out of windows of burning buildings, falling to their deaths. And we think the problem is that they’re jumping … We’ve boarded up the windows and made better nets to catch them, found more convincing ways to tell them not to jump. They’re making the decision that it’s better to be dead and gone than to be alive in what we have here, this life, the one we made for them, they one they’ve inherited
For how many years I had been dying to find out what the other half of me was. How many tribes had I made up when I asked in the meantime. I’d gotten through four years as a Native America studies major. Dissecting tribal histories, looking for some signs, something that might resemble me, something that sounded familiar …. I wrote my thesis on the inevitable influence of blood quantum politics on modern Native identity … All without knowing my tribe. Every possible way I think that it might look for me to say I’m Native seems wrong
If you have the option to not think about or even consider history, whether you’ve learned it right or not, or whether it even deserves consideration, that’s how you know you’re on board the ship that serves hors d’oeuvres and fluffs your pillows, while others are out at sea, swimming or drowning or clinging to little inflatable rafts .....
If you were fortunate enough to be born with into a family whose ancestors benefited directly from genocide and/or slavery, maybe you think the more you don’t know, the more innocent you can stay, which is a good incentive not to find out, to not look too deep, to walk carefully around the sleeping tiger.