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If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules: Ten Rules for a Fulfilling Life
Do you wish you knew the rules for winning at the game of success?
Contrary to popular belief, success is not just about becoming rich and famous. Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., realizes that everyone has their own personal definition of success, whether it be to run a business, raise healthy, happy children, have more spare time, get good grades, or become President of the United States. In If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules , Chérie addresses the issues at the heart of a meaningful and successful life. She helps you define what success means to you , and then tells you in ten simple rules how you can achieve it.
Chérie learned the rules of success she built her management consulting firm to serve top clients around the world, including IBM and GTE. Her books, including the #1 New York Times bestseller If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules , touch hundreds of thousands of readers. And despite a calendar that shuttles her through dozens of time zones annually, she keeps her family close and connected.
With rules as clear as "Self-trust is essential" and "Your actions affect your outcome," Chérie guides readers step-by-step through all the various challenges on the path to success. From finding your true calling to discovering the riches abundant in day-to-day routines, to recognizing opportunities and managing your resources, If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules is both inspirational and practical. Chérie explains the importance of having a vision but also the importance of setting realistic goals. She provides tools to help you identify your gifts but also tools to help manage your time. She shows you how to believe in yourself but also how to cultivate relationships with others. Success can be a difficult and precarious journey, but once we understand what our goals are and the ways that both advances and setbacks can work for us, we can begin to move closer to what we want, and to grow as individuals.
Illuminated with motivational and personal stories, and written in Chérie's warm, engaging tone, If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules is the perfect guide for your journey as you seek to fulfill all your dreams.
Contrary to popular belief, success is not just about becoming rich and famous. Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., realizes that everyone has their own personal definition of success, whether it be to run a business, raise healthy, happy children, have more spare time, get good grades, or become President of the United States. In If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules , Chérie addresses the issues at the heart of a meaningful and successful life. She helps you define what success means to you , and then tells you in ten simple rules how you can achieve it.
Chérie learned the rules of success she built her management consulting firm to serve top clients around the world, including IBM and GTE. Her books, including the #1 New York Times bestseller If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules , touch hundreds of thousands of readers. And despite a calendar that shuttles her through dozens of time zones annually, she keeps her family close and connected.
With rules as clear as "Self-trust is essential" and "Your actions affect your outcome," Chérie guides readers step-by-step through all the various challenges on the path to success. From finding your true calling to discovering the riches abundant in day-to-day routines, to recognizing opportunities and managing your resources, If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules is both inspirational and practical. Chérie explains the importance of having a vision but also the importance of setting realistic goals. She provides tools to help you identify your gifts but also tools to help manage your time. She shows you how to believe in yourself but also how to cultivate relationships with others. Success can be a difficult and precarious journey, but once we understand what our goals are and the ways that both advances and setbacks can work for us, we can begin to move closer to what we want, and to grow as individuals.
Illuminated with motivational and personal stories, and written in Chérie's warm, engaging tone, If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules is the perfect guide for your journey as you seek to fulfill all your dreams.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published October 19, 1999
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January 31, 2022
Again, lots of wisdom and reminders in this book. I can relate to many ideas directly right now. I'm moving into a new phase in my life and it feels uncomfortable sometimes to trust myself for making a hard decision that led me here. Sometimes I want to go back to what's familiar and comfortable. But I owe it to myself to explore what's out there.
Rule One - Each person has their own definition of success
Rule Two - Wanting success is the first step toward attaining it
Rule Three - Self-trust is essential
Rule Four - Goals are the stepping-stones on your path
Rule Five - Your actions affect your outcomes
Rule Six - Opportunities will be presented
Rule Seven - Each setback provides valuable lessons
Rule Eight - Managing your resources maximizes your efforts
Rule Nine - Every level of success brings new challenges
Rule Ten - Success is a process that never ends
“Rather, these are the people who have realized goals and dreams that have been set from within rather than those dictated by societal norms.” pg. 3
“Do the hours and dedication she has put forth count only if the result is achieved? Is success measured only in the culmination, or is the commitment, the perseverance, and the pursuit valued as well?” pg. 4
“Success is amorphous, and like the other vast intangible—love—there is no universal means by which we can measure it. What it means for one person may not resonate for another. It may be the collective goal of many, but it ultimately has only one true judge. You, and only you, can assess your success, for it is you alone who determines what success really means for you.” pg. 4
“What does success mean to you? What will it take for you to feel fulfilled in life? To what do you aspire?
Establishing your personal definition of success is important because it will prevent you from spending precious time and energy pursuing goals that hold no true luster for you. It can be easy to follow the status quo and aim for the usual markers. Despite the fact that the world may applaud such efforts, however, goals that you are not authentically connected to are essentially meaningless.” pg. 9
“Often, however, people pursue the popular trappings and/or goals without really knowing why. Perhaps they become caught up in the treadmill of ‘keeping up with the Joneses.’ When success is pursued as proof of your worthiness, you are giving your life and your efforts over to the assessment of others. On the other hand, when success is pursued as the alignment of your innermost values and your goals become the validation of your inner truth, you honor your presence here on Earth as meaningful and authentic.” pg. 10
“Establishing Your Vision:
1. The people I view as successful are . . .
2. I feel successful when I . . .
3. My symbols of success are . . .
4. I will feel like a success when I . . .
5. If I were to write my ideal obituary based on the fact that my life was a success, it would read like this . . . “ pg. 11
“Ask yourself this: If everyone wanted to succeed, why isn’t everyone successful? The answer is because not everyone fully grasps the fact that success is attainable only to those who possess the courage and conviction to say ‘I want it.’” pg. 17
“When you know what you want and give yourself permission to have it, there is a release of delight and power that validates you as a person. This validation nourishes your self-trust, your self-confidence, your intuition, your basic belief in yourself. This reinforcement affirms your identity, your inner knowing, and your reality. Each time this cycle occurs, it strengthens your authentic self.” pg. 21
“Change of Identity Fears
Frequently our identity is wrapped up in our current state of being, which of course makes it difficult to embrace a new reality. Although you may want to succeed at whatever goal you have, you may have some difficulty if you overlook or ignore the identity changes that might come along with such a success.” pg. 25
“Sometimes our fear of identity changes can be so strong that we continually set ourselves up for failure. This happens quite frequently when people aim to make personal changes, such as quitting smoking or losing weight. Their personal identity is so enmeshed in their behavior patterns that altering them is too intimidating a prospect to overcome.” pg. 26
“Success can cause an identity crisis. It can force you to speculate on ‘Who will I be if . . .?’ a notion that is difficult for some to imagine. Frankly, people tend to define themselves in terms of their limitations (‘the fat one,’ ‘the short guy,’ ‘the one with knock knees,’ ‘the dumb one,’ etc.). When forced to define themselves in terms of their successes, many people feel uncomfortable.” pg. 27
“If you are striving for success and not achieving it, ask yourself what will accompany the success you are pursuing. Will your identity, lifestyle, financial status, or the way you spend your time change? Might your friends or family treat you differently? Will you have new responsibilities that might be intimidating or overwhelming? List everything that comes to mind, no matter how ridiculous the thoughts may be. You may be surprised to discover that what is holding you back is the unconscious anticipation of the outcome of your desires.” pg. 28
“Whatever you believe about yourself and your circumstances directly impacts the reality you create in your life.” pg. 30
“Self-trust is needed not only to guide you to your authentic path; it is needed to keep you there when the road gets bumpy. It is needed when inner doubts arise along the way, when others think you are ‘crazy’ for wanting what you want or doing what you do, when you need to make tough choices, and when you encounter trials and obstacles. When you trust yourself, you are able to decide the best course of action for yourself from that place within you that just simply knows. Self-trust emanates from your gut and can be tapped only after you truly know, accept, and honor your authentic and essential core.” pg. 38
“Your truth is a source of power. When you align with who you are, you enliven yourself. Every step you take is either toward your truth or away from it. Each step you take toward it energizes you; each step you take away from it robs you of energy. When there is a discrepancy between what you know to be your truth and the various concessions you make, a schism is created. Energy is required to maintain that schism, which keeps you from accelerating toward your desired outcomes or goals in life. Hence, the closer you stay with the bounds of your truth, the sooner you will find the fulfillment you seek.” pg. 38
“’Right’ versus ‘wrong’ choices
Sometimes we don’t understand or we forget that there are no mistakes, only lessons. . .
So how do you know which choices are the right ones and which are the wrong ones?
You don’t. You just make the choice that feels right to you at that time, and you follow that route either toward success or toward the lessons you were meant to learn. On your road to your destination, you will certainly learn about yourself, other people, and life in general.” pg. 54-55
“The key that unlocks the prison of external expectations is the willingness to tell the truth to yourself, to your family and friends, and to the whole world. Your gut feeling should be what is in the driver’s seat, not other people’s expectations. If you give others the power to dictate your path, you are merely a passive participant in your own life.” pg. 57-58
“So often people are trapped in their web of dissatisfaction. They complain about the life they are living, yet they do nothing about it. We all know someone who sincerely believes there is nothing that can be done to improve his or her circumstances. These people say things like ‘It’s too late to start over,’ or ‘I can’t afford a pay cut,’ or ‘I’m already too far in debt to make any changes now.’ They may not know it consciously, but they have dug themselves into a ditch of negativity surrounded by barriers built out of familiarity and comfort.” pg. 62
“When you believe in yourself, you are able to make authentic choices. Trusting yourself allows you to act with boldness, to have faith in your ideas and abilities, to innately know that you will do what is right for you.” pg. 64
“Vision - to get married.
Goal - To find a loving, fulfilling, committed, and long-lasting relationship with a significant person whom I am attract to and in live with by next Valentine’s Day.” pg. 75
“. . .many people suffer from what I call the not-now syndrome. Those who are afflicted are held back either by their fear of failing to get what they want or by their fear of actually getting what they want. It may sound bizarre, but there is a lot of truth to this.” pg. 79
“The U.S. Army has had the slogan for many years ‘Be all that you can be.’ This slogan is simple yet compelling because it is an invitation to fulfill your potential. If you give 100 percent of yourself to your endeavor, you can never look back with regret. After all, if you give your all, there is nothing more you could have done.” pg. 103
“If the answer that surfaces is ‘I don’t know,’ remember that ‘I don’t know’ is a safe response. It is the one that ensures you will not have to face your underlying fears. The haze of ‘I don’t know’ can be frustrating, because it means that you can and probably will do nothing. You cannot act, and therefore you are paralyzed.
‘I don’t know’ is a dead end.” pg. 114
“I then asked her the pivotal question that leads to creative solutions: What would it take to make all this work? How would she set up her life if she were totally in charge? This question opens you up to the possibility that you can have everything you want, if you are willing to create it. There is always a way.” pg. 117
“The process of moving from ‘I don’t know what I want’ to ‘I have everything I dreamed of’ has five distinct steps:
Step one: ‘I don’t know what I want and I can’t be it, do it, or have it.’
Step two: ‘I know what I want, but I can’t have it.’
Step three: ‘I know what I want and I can have some of it.’
Step four: ‘I know what I want and I can have it all.’
Step five: ‘I have what I want.’
. . . If you can see where you are on the staircase, you can determine what is necessary to move to the next step.” pg. 118
“Before you can progress anywhere on this staircase, however, you will need to tackle the first step of moving out of ‘I don’t know.’ If necessary, ask yourself one of the three pivotal questions:
1. What would you do if you did know?
2. How would you proceed if you were totally in charge of the situation?
3. If you were free of expectations, financial constraints, time factors, and responsibilities, what would you do?” pg. 119
“Much of life is about timing. We find our beloved when both people are ready, we find the right job when the universe lines up our talents and an employer’s need, and we find the right situation when we are ready for it. If an opportunity comes your way at the wrong time, let it pass.
You’ll know when the time is right to seize the next one.” pg. 121
“Opportunities that cost you more than you have to give are just not worth it. If your cost/benefit analysis reveals that you will need to give up more than you will get in return, release the opportunity to the universe. It simply wasn’t the right one for you.” pg. 123
“What I am referring to is not sacrifice; it is commitment. Sometimes you will be called upon to say ‘no’ to something you desire right now in order to achieve something you desire more later on. It can be a sacrifice if you focus on what you are giving up, but it is a commitment if you focus on your ability to remain dedicated to your most precious visions. It all depends on how you look at it.” pg. 131
“The bouncing-back option is the one in which you deal with these emotions, feel whatever comes up, process what happened, and then put the experience in perspective and choose to move forward. Recovery occurs when you weave setbacks into your personal history rather than allowing them to be the end of your story.” pg. 137
“Even before you begin taking actions on your goals, you have to allow room in your consciousness for disappointment. You need to acknowledge the potential of obstacles and the possibility that the outcome might not be exactly as you hoped. This is not to say that you should focus on it; in fact, just the opposite. By bringing the shadow of potential disappointment to light, you diminish its power and make it less threatening. Doing this allows you to get on with the business at hand rather than worrying about the what-ifs. When you admit the worst-case scenario, you don’t have to hide from it, since you know it can never catch you by surprise.” pg. 145
“It is important that you let your emotions come up and through you and release them. All feelings have a natural course that they need to run. Blocking them will only block you from moving on.” pg. 151
“As you are fully processing the physical, psychological, and emotional aspects of a disappointment, you will begin to start to notice that you are still alive. Some people think that they can’t possibly endure the setback, that somehow during the process, they will die, because it is all too much for them to bear. Noticing that you are a survivor of the experience is an important awareness. This is called being in present time. You are no longer reliving the past over and over again in your mind but are ready to ‘be’ present in the here and now.” pg. 153-154
“The moments of disappointment and the perceived failures in your path are all preparation for the one moment when you overcome all obstacles and realize your goals. These perceived failures are rich and fertile ground for learning valuable life lessons, if you are willing to mine them. These lessons not only shape you as a person, they show you what you needed to learn so that your future efforts will yield more positive results.” pg. 155
“The bumps and obstacles are what make the journey interesting and what sharpen your tools for succeeding in the future.” pg. 158
“Organization also enables you to project an air of professionalism. It makes you appear to be efficient and in harmony with yourself and your life, which of course has a direct impact on how others perceive you. Harmony is simply more attractive energetically than chaos. When you exude an attitude of calm, you imply reliability, maturity, and mastery.” pg. 162
“What you value is reflected in how you allocate your time. If you have many goals, high aspirations, and want to succeed, but also want to live a balanced life, then it helps find ways to make all the puzzle pieces fit together.” pg. 164
“Without realizing it, Jeff was chipping away at the edges of his self-esteem. By repeatedly breaking his word to himself, he was establishing a pattern of self-distrust. Since the way you feel about yourself in one area is contagious and affects the way you feel about yourself in general, Jeff began to feel less secure about his ability as a painter. He was creating an image of himself. Through not doing what he promised himself, he was subtly manifesting a self-concept that was les than esteeming. That lack of confidence was beginning to affect the rest of his life.” pg. 169
“Handling your time well has to do with your relationship with yourself, not ultimately with the expectations of others. . . As Janis Joplin advised, ‘Don’t compromise yourself; you are all you’ve got.���” pg. 169
“Each relationship in your life is an investment of your time, your energy, and you. Each one of these extensions has an invisible tentacle that is connected to you. Relationships can either be problematic or solution based; they can infuse you with energy or drain you; they can either enrich your experience or deplete it. Basically, the manner in which you interact with each person in your life will impact your overall well-being.” pg. 178
“Whether the person is your boss, colleague, peer, subordinate, client, customer, or even part of your personal support network, if the person relates to you, he or she takes up a certain degree of your consciousness. Whether the relationship is functional or dysfunctional, temporary or permanent is up to you. You must stay current with what is happening between the two of you; it is important that you tell your truth and stay aware of how the relationship affects your life. You will contribute to those whose lives you touch and be enhanced by those with whom you have contact.” pg. 178-179
“Overexertion is more than just physical exhaustion, although that is a large part of it. It is emotional drain, when you give more than you have without taking the time to replenish. It is spiritual deprivation, when you neglect to feed your soul. There is an overall sense of apathy, a lack of motivation, which inevitably leads to feelings of ‘What is this all for?’ When you push yourself beyond what is reasonable, you can easily lose sight of your purpose.” pg. 188
“If you find yourself slipping back into the I-don’t-have-time-to-recharge excuse, remind yourself that you are all you’ve got. After all, if you don’t restore your vital reserves, who will?” pg. 193
“George Bernard Shaw once said, ‘There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it.’ While succeeding at your goals may not necessarily cause pain akin to heartbreak, it certainly comes with its fair share of rewards and challenges. You will need to make your way through the happy rewards, the new responsibilities, and the surprising and unfamiliar landscape that success brings.” pg. 197
“Change happens. Situations change, people change, and success happens. When you succeed, however, everything doesn’t suddenly become all better. The myth is that when you finally achieve the success you have been yearning for, everything will be perfect. As humans, we transform as old lessons are learned, new levels of success emerge, and new challenges surface. We don’t shed our issues entirely; we simply trade them in for new ones that may look and feel quite different.” pg. 198
“‘Becoming’ is by definition a transition. It is the emergence of a new you. It is establishing new ground and new anchors and finding comfort with what is inherently uncomfortable. This happens in gradual stages.” pg. 204
‘Externalizing my internal transition helped me integrate the experience. Whenever you can ritualize, process, or externalize what is happening in your life in order to integrate yourself with your development, you establish your new reality. Becoming is the process of merging the external with the internal.” pg. 206
Book: borrowed from SSF Main Library.
Rule One - Each person has their own definition of success
Rule Two - Wanting success is the first step toward attaining it
Rule Three - Self-trust is essential
Rule Four - Goals are the stepping-stones on your path
Rule Five - Your actions affect your outcomes
Rule Six - Opportunities will be presented
Rule Seven - Each setback provides valuable lessons
Rule Eight - Managing your resources maximizes your efforts
Rule Nine - Every level of success brings new challenges
Rule Ten - Success is a process that never ends
“Rather, these are the people who have realized goals and dreams that have been set from within rather than those dictated by societal norms.” pg. 3
“Do the hours and dedication she has put forth count only if the result is achieved? Is success measured only in the culmination, or is the commitment, the perseverance, and the pursuit valued as well?” pg. 4
“Success is amorphous, and like the other vast intangible—love—there is no universal means by which we can measure it. What it means for one person may not resonate for another. It may be the collective goal of many, but it ultimately has only one true judge. You, and only you, can assess your success, for it is you alone who determines what success really means for you.” pg. 4
“What does success mean to you? What will it take for you to feel fulfilled in life? To what do you aspire?
Establishing your personal definition of success is important because it will prevent you from spending precious time and energy pursuing goals that hold no true luster for you. It can be easy to follow the status quo and aim for the usual markers. Despite the fact that the world may applaud such efforts, however, goals that you are not authentically connected to are essentially meaningless.” pg. 9
“Often, however, people pursue the popular trappings and/or goals without really knowing why. Perhaps they become caught up in the treadmill of ‘keeping up with the Joneses.’ When success is pursued as proof of your worthiness, you are giving your life and your efforts over to the assessment of others. On the other hand, when success is pursued as the alignment of your innermost values and your goals become the validation of your inner truth, you honor your presence here on Earth as meaningful and authentic.” pg. 10
“Establishing Your Vision:
1. The people I view as successful are . . .
2. I feel successful when I . . .
3. My symbols of success are . . .
4. I will feel like a success when I . . .
5. If I were to write my ideal obituary based on the fact that my life was a success, it would read like this . . . “ pg. 11
“Ask yourself this: If everyone wanted to succeed, why isn’t everyone successful? The answer is because not everyone fully grasps the fact that success is attainable only to those who possess the courage and conviction to say ‘I want it.’” pg. 17
“When you know what you want and give yourself permission to have it, there is a release of delight and power that validates you as a person. This validation nourishes your self-trust, your self-confidence, your intuition, your basic belief in yourself. This reinforcement affirms your identity, your inner knowing, and your reality. Each time this cycle occurs, it strengthens your authentic self.” pg. 21
“Change of Identity Fears
Frequently our identity is wrapped up in our current state of being, which of course makes it difficult to embrace a new reality. Although you may want to succeed at whatever goal you have, you may have some difficulty if you overlook or ignore the identity changes that might come along with such a success.” pg. 25
“Sometimes our fear of identity changes can be so strong that we continually set ourselves up for failure. This happens quite frequently when people aim to make personal changes, such as quitting smoking or losing weight. Their personal identity is so enmeshed in their behavior patterns that altering them is too intimidating a prospect to overcome.” pg. 26
“Success can cause an identity crisis. It can force you to speculate on ‘Who will I be if . . .?’ a notion that is difficult for some to imagine. Frankly, people tend to define themselves in terms of their limitations (‘the fat one,’ ‘the short guy,’ ‘the one with knock knees,’ ‘the dumb one,’ etc.). When forced to define themselves in terms of their successes, many people feel uncomfortable.” pg. 27
“If you are striving for success and not achieving it, ask yourself what will accompany the success you are pursuing. Will your identity, lifestyle, financial status, or the way you spend your time change? Might your friends or family treat you differently? Will you have new responsibilities that might be intimidating or overwhelming? List everything that comes to mind, no matter how ridiculous the thoughts may be. You may be surprised to discover that what is holding you back is the unconscious anticipation of the outcome of your desires.” pg. 28
“Whatever you believe about yourself and your circumstances directly impacts the reality you create in your life.” pg. 30
“Self-trust is needed not only to guide you to your authentic path; it is needed to keep you there when the road gets bumpy. It is needed when inner doubts arise along the way, when others think you are ‘crazy’ for wanting what you want or doing what you do, when you need to make tough choices, and when you encounter trials and obstacles. When you trust yourself, you are able to decide the best course of action for yourself from that place within you that just simply knows. Self-trust emanates from your gut and can be tapped only after you truly know, accept, and honor your authentic and essential core.” pg. 38
“Your truth is a source of power. When you align with who you are, you enliven yourself. Every step you take is either toward your truth or away from it. Each step you take toward it energizes you; each step you take away from it robs you of energy. When there is a discrepancy between what you know to be your truth and the various concessions you make, a schism is created. Energy is required to maintain that schism, which keeps you from accelerating toward your desired outcomes or goals in life. Hence, the closer you stay with the bounds of your truth, the sooner you will find the fulfillment you seek.” pg. 38
“’Right’ versus ‘wrong’ choices
Sometimes we don’t understand or we forget that there are no mistakes, only lessons. . .
So how do you know which choices are the right ones and which are the wrong ones?
You don’t. You just make the choice that feels right to you at that time, and you follow that route either toward success or toward the lessons you were meant to learn. On your road to your destination, you will certainly learn about yourself, other people, and life in general.” pg. 54-55
“The key that unlocks the prison of external expectations is the willingness to tell the truth to yourself, to your family and friends, and to the whole world. Your gut feeling should be what is in the driver’s seat, not other people’s expectations. If you give others the power to dictate your path, you are merely a passive participant in your own life.” pg. 57-58
“So often people are trapped in their web of dissatisfaction. They complain about the life they are living, yet they do nothing about it. We all know someone who sincerely believes there is nothing that can be done to improve his or her circumstances. These people say things like ‘It’s too late to start over,’ or ‘I can’t afford a pay cut,’ or ‘I’m already too far in debt to make any changes now.’ They may not know it consciously, but they have dug themselves into a ditch of negativity surrounded by barriers built out of familiarity and comfort.” pg. 62
“When you believe in yourself, you are able to make authentic choices. Trusting yourself allows you to act with boldness, to have faith in your ideas and abilities, to innately know that you will do what is right for you.” pg. 64
“Vision - to get married.
Goal - To find a loving, fulfilling, committed, and long-lasting relationship with a significant person whom I am attract to and in live with by next Valentine’s Day.” pg. 75
“. . .many people suffer from what I call the not-now syndrome. Those who are afflicted are held back either by their fear of failing to get what they want or by their fear of actually getting what they want. It may sound bizarre, but there is a lot of truth to this.” pg. 79
“The U.S. Army has had the slogan for many years ‘Be all that you can be.’ This slogan is simple yet compelling because it is an invitation to fulfill your potential. If you give 100 percent of yourself to your endeavor, you can never look back with regret. After all, if you give your all, there is nothing more you could have done.” pg. 103
“If the answer that surfaces is ‘I don’t know,’ remember that ‘I don’t know’ is a safe response. It is the one that ensures you will not have to face your underlying fears. The haze of ‘I don’t know’ can be frustrating, because it means that you can and probably will do nothing. You cannot act, and therefore you are paralyzed.
‘I don’t know’ is a dead end.” pg. 114
“I then asked her the pivotal question that leads to creative solutions: What would it take to make all this work? How would she set up her life if she were totally in charge? This question opens you up to the possibility that you can have everything you want, if you are willing to create it. There is always a way.” pg. 117
“The process of moving from ‘I don’t know what I want’ to ‘I have everything I dreamed of’ has five distinct steps:
Step one: ‘I don’t know what I want and I can’t be it, do it, or have it.’
Step two: ‘I know what I want, but I can’t have it.’
Step three: ‘I know what I want and I can have some of it.’
Step four: ‘I know what I want and I can have it all.’
Step five: ‘I have what I want.’
. . . If you can see where you are on the staircase, you can determine what is necessary to move to the next step.” pg. 118
“Before you can progress anywhere on this staircase, however, you will need to tackle the first step of moving out of ‘I don’t know.’ If necessary, ask yourself one of the three pivotal questions:
1. What would you do if you did know?
2. How would you proceed if you were totally in charge of the situation?
3. If you were free of expectations, financial constraints, time factors, and responsibilities, what would you do?” pg. 119
“Much of life is about timing. We find our beloved when both people are ready, we find the right job when the universe lines up our talents and an employer’s need, and we find the right situation when we are ready for it. If an opportunity comes your way at the wrong time, let it pass.
You’ll know when the time is right to seize the next one.” pg. 121
“Opportunities that cost you more than you have to give are just not worth it. If your cost/benefit analysis reveals that you will need to give up more than you will get in return, release the opportunity to the universe. It simply wasn’t the right one for you.” pg. 123
“What I am referring to is not sacrifice; it is commitment. Sometimes you will be called upon to say ‘no’ to something you desire right now in order to achieve something you desire more later on. It can be a sacrifice if you focus on what you are giving up, but it is a commitment if you focus on your ability to remain dedicated to your most precious visions. It all depends on how you look at it.” pg. 131
“The bouncing-back option is the one in which you deal with these emotions, feel whatever comes up, process what happened, and then put the experience in perspective and choose to move forward. Recovery occurs when you weave setbacks into your personal history rather than allowing them to be the end of your story.” pg. 137
“Even before you begin taking actions on your goals, you have to allow room in your consciousness for disappointment. You need to acknowledge the potential of obstacles and the possibility that the outcome might not be exactly as you hoped. This is not to say that you should focus on it; in fact, just the opposite. By bringing the shadow of potential disappointment to light, you diminish its power and make it less threatening. Doing this allows you to get on with the business at hand rather than worrying about the what-ifs. When you admit the worst-case scenario, you don’t have to hide from it, since you know it can never catch you by surprise.” pg. 145
“It is important that you let your emotions come up and through you and release them. All feelings have a natural course that they need to run. Blocking them will only block you from moving on.” pg. 151
“As you are fully processing the physical, psychological, and emotional aspects of a disappointment, you will begin to start to notice that you are still alive. Some people think that they can’t possibly endure the setback, that somehow during the process, they will die, because it is all too much for them to bear. Noticing that you are a survivor of the experience is an important awareness. This is called being in present time. You are no longer reliving the past over and over again in your mind but are ready to ‘be’ present in the here and now.” pg. 153-154
“The moments of disappointment and the perceived failures in your path are all preparation for the one moment when you overcome all obstacles and realize your goals. These perceived failures are rich and fertile ground for learning valuable life lessons, if you are willing to mine them. These lessons not only shape you as a person, they show you what you needed to learn so that your future efforts will yield more positive results.” pg. 155
“The bumps and obstacles are what make the journey interesting and what sharpen your tools for succeeding in the future.” pg. 158
“Organization also enables you to project an air of professionalism. It makes you appear to be efficient and in harmony with yourself and your life, which of course has a direct impact on how others perceive you. Harmony is simply more attractive energetically than chaos. When you exude an attitude of calm, you imply reliability, maturity, and mastery.” pg. 162
“What you value is reflected in how you allocate your time. If you have many goals, high aspirations, and want to succeed, but also want to live a balanced life, then it helps find ways to make all the puzzle pieces fit together.” pg. 164
“Without realizing it, Jeff was chipping away at the edges of his self-esteem. By repeatedly breaking his word to himself, he was establishing a pattern of self-distrust. Since the way you feel about yourself in one area is contagious and affects the way you feel about yourself in general, Jeff began to feel less secure about his ability as a painter. He was creating an image of himself. Through not doing what he promised himself, he was subtly manifesting a self-concept that was les than esteeming. That lack of confidence was beginning to affect the rest of his life.” pg. 169
“Handling your time well has to do with your relationship with yourself, not ultimately with the expectations of others. . . As Janis Joplin advised, ‘Don’t compromise yourself; you are all you’ve got.���” pg. 169
“Each relationship in your life is an investment of your time, your energy, and you. Each one of these extensions has an invisible tentacle that is connected to you. Relationships can either be problematic or solution based; they can infuse you with energy or drain you; they can either enrich your experience or deplete it. Basically, the manner in which you interact with each person in your life will impact your overall well-being.” pg. 178
“Whether the person is your boss, colleague, peer, subordinate, client, customer, or even part of your personal support network, if the person relates to you, he or she takes up a certain degree of your consciousness. Whether the relationship is functional or dysfunctional, temporary or permanent is up to you. You must stay current with what is happening between the two of you; it is important that you tell your truth and stay aware of how the relationship affects your life. You will contribute to those whose lives you touch and be enhanced by those with whom you have contact.” pg. 178-179
“Overexertion is more than just physical exhaustion, although that is a large part of it. It is emotional drain, when you give more than you have without taking the time to replenish. It is spiritual deprivation, when you neglect to feed your soul. There is an overall sense of apathy, a lack of motivation, which inevitably leads to feelings of ‘What is this all for?’ When you push yourself beyond what is reasonable, you can easily lose sight of your purpose.” pg. 188
“If you find yourself slipping back into the I-don’t-have-time-to-recharge excuse, remind yourself that you are all you’ve got. After all, if you don’t restore your vital reserves, who will?” pg. 193
“George Bernard Shaw once said, ‘There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it.’ While succeeding at your goals may not necessarily cause pain akin to heartbreak, it certainly comes with its fair share of rewards and challenges. You will need to make your way through the happy rewards, the new responsibilities, and the surprising and unfamiliar landscape that success brings.” pg. 197
“Change happens. Situations change, people change, and success happens. When you succeed, however, everything doesn’t suddenly become all better. The myth is that when you finally achieve the success you have been yearning for, everything will be perfect. As humans, we transform as old lessons are learned, new levels of success emerge, and new challenges surface. We don’t shed our issues entirely; we simply trade them in for new ones that may look and feel quite different.” pg. 198
“‘Becoming’ is by definition a transition. It is the emergence of a new you. It is establishing new ground and new anchors and finding comfort with what is inherently uncomfortable. This happens in gradual stages.” pg. 204
‘Externalizing my internal transition helped me integrate the experience. Whenever you can ritualize, process, or externalize what is happening in your life in order to integrate yourself with your development, you establish your new reality. Becoming is the process of merging the external with the internal.” pg. 206
Book: borrowed from SSF Main Library.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 7, 2017
Muy basico, dice cosas que ya sabemos, pero aun asi está bien recordar. Hubiera hecho como un resumen de las 10 reglas, termina en el último y ya, sin juntar a todas las reglas.
May 29, 2018
A great book for someone who is still looking for purposes in their life. The instruction is quite clear. Easy to read. It's just the stories are somewhat short and not inspiring enough.
August 23, 2018
Amazing book. A must read.
This book is very good. I recommend it to any one who wants to dig deep into themselves and cultivate their own version of success. It's all a game.
This book is very good. I recommend it to any one who wants to dig deep into themselves and cultivate their own version of success. It's all a game.
January 11, 2008
Although I find most self-help books a hoax, this one really hit a nerve with me. Mainly because it did not list rules for general succuess but emphazied that we all have our own versions of what success is and it is important to realize fulfillment will make you a whole lot happier in the long run than fame and fortune.
November 12, 2007
this book change my point of view facing this life, 2 tumbs up
December 19, 2012
بعد قراءة أكثر من كتاب يتطرق لنفس الموضوع ،جاء هذا الكتاب ليؤكد على عدم حاجتي لقراءة المزيد من الكتب المتعلقة بالنجاح و كيفية تحقيقه. كتاب عادي جداً و محتواه ليس بالجديد و لا بالثري.
July 25, 2014
Gonna summarize the rules and apply
December 11, 2016
A nice book
October 21, 2009
10 aturan..
January 10, 2011
عندما أقول كتاب عظيم أقصد بذلك إنه أحدث تغييرا في حياتي :)
Want to read
August 31, 2011^_^
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