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272 pages, Hardcover
First published June 5, 2018
SO THIS IS HOW you discover your husband is having an affair, Josie Moore thought.
When Frank returned, he’d want his iPhone. She wasn’t going to give it back to him yet. But she didn’t want to make a scene in front of the children.
He didn’t ask for his phone back. It was another detail she cataloged. He knows that I know, Josie thought.
“DON’T YOU DARE LIE to me” were the first words Josie uttered.
“Who is she?” Josie asked. She didn’t know anyone named Dana. “No one,” Frank said quickly. “Just someone I met on a business trip.” He was lying, she was fairly certain. But about which parts?
She had practice, after all. Josie had believed him during those other times when her stomach had clenched like a fist and the rising hairs on the tops of her forearms had tried to warn her that she needed to pay attention. But she hadn’t had any evidence back then.
She had chosen to believe her husband in the past. To believe in their marriage.
Those nine words in the email: Sighhhh . . . Thought of you this morning in the shower.
He’d taken Dana out on her birthday? Josie thought back to her own forty-first birthday the previous month, just ten days before Dana’s. Josie had bought herself a Fitbit, along with some running shoes, and had told Frank it was his gift to her, to get her motivated to run a 5K.
Wait—had Frank been seeing Dana even then?
It had come in seven weeks ago. Seven weeks!
Mid-November until now, early January. Yes. Seven weeks. It had been going on for seven weeks. Over her birthday, over Christmas!
Her name was Dana. It had been going on for at least seven weeks. He’d taken her out for her birthday. These were the only truths Josie knew.
How could she leave her children, her home? If anyone left, it should be Frank. Oh my God. Had he brought Dana here?
They’d been together for sixteen years, nearly half of her life. Nearly half of his, as well; at forty, Frank was eight months younger than she. It wasn’t surprising that the early heat had seeped out of their relationship long ago.
If Frank had slept with Dana, it was definitely over. She would never be able to have sex with him again. She’d barely be able to be in the same room with him, to breathe the same air.
By now, Josie had obtained a little more information: Dana was married. She also worked as a pharma rep. She lived maybe twenty minutes away.
Frank had seemed flustered when they’d spoken about their evening plans on the phone, he’d arrived a few minutes late, he’d smelled like beer. And he’d pulled away from her kiss.
Josie also knew these facts about Dana: Dana was a year younger than Josie, and she was married. Josie had even read her wedding announcement. Dana had a husband named Ron who was probably as stupidly unaware as Josie had been just this morning.
“I want you to have not cheated!” she hissed.
She wondered how much Frank had spent on Dana during the course of their affair. Had he paid for those killer margaritas?
“How long have you been having an affair with my husband?” Josie asked.
Dana gasped. Josie felt a surge of satisfaction.
“How many times did you sleep with my husband?” Josie demanded. “I didn’t—we just . . . No, I didn’t sleep with him,” Dana protested. “How many times?” Josie repeated. Her voice was steely and unwavering. “I’ve got all of your emails. Maybe I should forward them to your husband?”
“How many times?” Josie repeated. “Last chance.” Dana took in a long, shuddering breath, then continued. “I only saw him three times.”
Three times. Not twice, as Frank had sworn.
“Frank said it was more than three times,” Josie said. It was a gamble; if she was wrong, Dana would know how little information Josie actually had.
Dana’s voice broke. “It wasn’t . . . It was five. Okay. We got together five times. I’m sorry, I forgot . . .”
“You expect me to believe you just forgot?” Josie asked. Dana was silent. “Are you still married?” Josie asked. “Yes,” Dana whispered. “Good luck with that.”
Five times, she thought. Five.
“Oh, and Frank?” she said. “Yes?” he asked eagerly. “Your girlfriend has a weird voice,” Josie said. “It’s so deep and creepy.”
Frank and Dana together in Atlantic City, in a hotel room much like this one, sharing breakfast in bed amid the rumpled sheets.
And then, as horror rose within her, Josie wondered: Were there others?
“On top of the obvious lies,” Josie said. “Dana and I had a nice little chat today.” Frank’s eyes closed and something swept across his face, tugging his features downward.
“You haven’t shown me a lot of respect, Frank,” Josie said. “Why don’t you start now by telling me the truth.”
“Did you two have fun on her birthday?” Josie asked.
“I didn’t sleep with her,” Frank said. “I’m telling you the truth, Josie. I couldn’t do that to you.” A cold pebble of a laugh shot out of Josie’s mouth. “What integrity you have.”
“Who paid when the two of you went out?” Josie asked. “Um, the first two, it wasn’t— I mean, I think I did. Just for a few drinks.” “That was our money! Not yours to spend on dates with other women!”
“You’re a good salesman. But I’m not buying it.” The venom coming out of Josie’s mouth stunned even her. She had never spoken to anyone like this before, with such cutting contempt. “If you had any kind of decency, any shred of respect for our marriage, you would have stopped it after one time and confessed. But you just kept going. You’d still be having an affair if I hadn’t caught you!”
“Do you have any idea of what the two of you did?” Josie asked. “Two families, destroyed. Hope it was worth it.”
“You say you didn’t sleep with her,” Josie said. “But you kissed her. There’s a lot of room between those two places. What else did you do, Frank?”
“We— I mean, there was a little more than kissing.”
Five times. More than just kissing. She could never trust him again.
Imagining Frank and Dana together—entwined in his car, in her office, in the hotel room—made Josie feel such an intense swell of emotions that she felt as if she were about to explode.
“It was those five nights, that part is true,” Frank said quietly. He met her eyes. “We didn’t have sex but, ah, we did other things. It was purely physical. I didn’t care about her at all.” “How long did you kiss?” Josie demanded. Another pause. “Maybe an hour the first two times, when we were at the hotel,” Frank said. “Less on the other nights.” “An hour?” Josie repeated.
“Where did you go on the other nights?” Josie asked. Frank squeezed his eyes shut before speaking. “We were in my car one time. We went to the house of one of her friends who was out of town the other two times.” “There is something wrong with you,” Josie hissed because she couldn’t scream.
“You just did these things with her, then you came home to me and never gave any indication that anything was wrong! What kind of a person does that?”
“No!” Josie said. “There isn’t any marriage to fix. You would’ve slept with her if I hadn’t found out.” Frank’s features crumpled. “You are probably right.”
An hour of making out, like teenagers who were madly in love and couldn’t keep their hands off each other.
There was one new text. It was from a woman whose name Josie recognized instantly. Melissa was a sales associate Frank had worked with for the past year. Frank had mentioned her several times.
She stared down at the message, feeling her skin prickle again. Fun night. Let’s do it again soon. Had Melissa written more? Only the opening two lines were displayed on the screen. If Josie touched the text, the entire note would appear—but then Frank would also know she had opened it.
“That she had a fun time last night and wanted to do it again soon.”
“Take off your wedding ring,” Josie ordered. “What?” “You touched her while you were wearing that ring. Get it off. Now I don’t ever want to see it again.” “Can I get another one?” Frank asked.
It was the first time they’d touched in two months. Josie had stayed in the present; she hadn’t thought about the way he might have embraced Dana. But she doubted she’d ever be able to make love with Frank ever again without the intrusion of Dana.
His affair hadn’t just ruptured their marriage; it would be a wrenching interference in their future intimacy.
Frank had traded in his Honda Civic for a used Acura at CarMax a few weeks earlier.