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Special Delivery #1
Special Delivery
When your deepest, darkest fantasy shows up, get on board.
Sam Keller knows he’ll never find the excitement he craves in Middleton, Iowa—not while he’s busting his ass in nursing school and paying rent by slaving away in a pharmacy stockroom. Then Sam meets Mitch Tedsoe, an independent, long-haul trucker who makes a delivery to a shop across the alley. Innocent flirting quickly leads to a fling, and when Mitch offers to take him on a road trip west, Sam jumps at the chance for adventure. Mitch is sexy, funny and friendly, but once they embark on their journey, something changes. One minute he’s the star of Sam’s every x-rated fantasy, the next he’s almost too much a perfect gentleman. And when they hit the Las Vegas city limit, Sam has a name to pin on Mitch’s malady: Randy.
For better or for worse, Sam grapples with the meaning of friendship, letting go, growing up—even the meaning of love—because no matter how far he travels, eventually all roads lead home.
Sam Keller knows he’ll never find the excitement he craves in Middleton, Iowa—not while he’s busting his ass in nursing school and paying rent by slaving away in a pharmacy stockroom. Then Sam meets Mitch Tedsoe, an independent, long-haul trucker who makes a delivery to a shop across the alley. Innocent flirting quickly leads to a fling, and when Mitch offers to take him on a road trip west, Sam jumps at the chance for adventure. Mitch is sexy, funny and friendly, but once they embark on their journey, something changes. One minute he’s the star of Sam’s every x-rated fantasy, the next he’s almost too much a perfect gentleman. And when they hit the Las Vegas city limit, Sam has a name to pin on Mitch’s malady: Randy.
For better or for worse, Sam grapples with the meaning of friendship, letting go, growing up—even the meaning of love—because no matter how far he travels, eventually all roads lead home.
ebook
First published February 14, 2010
About the author
Heidi Cullinan
48 books2,843 followersAuthor of over thirty novels, Midwest-native Heidi Cullinan writes positive-outcome romances for LGBT characters struggling against insurmountable odds because they believe there’s no such thing as too much happy ever after. Heidi’s books have been recommended by Library Journal, USA Today, RT Magazine, and Publishers Weekly. When Heidi isn’t writing, they enjoy gaming, reading manga, manhua, and danmei, playing with cats, and watching too much anime.
Heidi goes by Jun when being spoken to in person or online, and Jun’s pronouns are they/them.
Heidi goes by Jun when being spoken to in person or online, and Jun’s pronouns are they/them.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 734 reviews
June 22, 2014
::Sigh:: Add another book to the pile of "everyone loves it but me." While I liked parts of this book very much, I just never fully connected to the characters. But not for the reasons you might think.
I'll break this one down for everyone. This book is kinky in a very specific way. It plays a little bit with dominance and submission, but mostly it is about exhibition and the desire to feel dirty and used. It is a mental game between these men, not as much a physical one. Though there is some spanking, there are no whips and paddles here, no "sirs" and "masters". All of that was completely copacetic with me. I completely understand the desire to feel "slutty" and "whoreish" and I applaud Sam for embracing that part of himself. I even get the voyeur kink and didn't mind the idea of Sam and Mitch wanting to bring in a third for play time. I think kink-wise, this book was absolutely something I understood and dug.
However, I think things got muddled a bit for me when Randy came into the picture. I felt like Mitch's relationship with Randy was very complicated and I didn't come away from the book understanding it much. I didn't get why Randy pushed with Sam so hard and what he got out of the whole arrangement. I just didn't like Randy as a character and didn't get his appeal. I also wanted to understand what happened with Mitch's past boyfriends in more detail because of all that was alluded to that in the story.
I felt like the scenes with Randy took a lot away from the development of Sam and Mitch as a couple. Not that I minded the sex, but I didn't feel like I was making emotional progress with Sam and Mitch. For some reason, I never really connected with Sam and Mitch as a couple. I kind of enjoyed the book for the sexiness (honestly, this book was smoking hot), but I wasn't particularly rooting for them either. I can't really pinpoint why that was, other than maybe the addition of Randy into the mix threw things off for me.
I have to say, Heidi's writing is always a pleasure to read. She is unafraid to go there in her sex scenes and writes in a way that makes me not want to put her books down.
Though most of my friends 5 starred this, it didn't rise above a solid "like" for me.
**ARC provided in exchange for an honest review**
I'll break this one down for everyone. This book is kinky in a very specific way. It plays a little bit with dominance and submission, but mostly it is about exhibition and the desire to feel dirty and used. It is a mental game between these men, not as much a physical one. Though there is some spanking, there are no whips and paddles here, no "sirs" and "masters". All of that was completely copacetic with me. I completely understand the desire to feel "slutty" and "whoreish" and I applaud Sam for embracing that part of himself. I even get the voyeur kink and didn't mind the idea of Sam and Mitch wanting to bring in a third for play time. I think kink-wise, this book was absolutely something I understood and dug.
However, I think things got muddled a bit for me when Randy came into the picture. I felt like Mitch's relationship with Randy was very complicated and I didn't come away from the book understanding it much. I didn't get why Randy pushed with Sam so hard and what he got out of the whole arrangement. I just didn't like Randy as a character and didn't get his appeal. I also wanted to understand what happened with Mitch's past boyfriends in more detail because of all that was alluded to that in the story.
I felt like the scenes with Randy took a lot away from the development of Sam and Mitch as a couple. Not that I minded the sex, but I didn't feel like I was making emotional progress with Sam and Mitch. For some reason, I never really connected with Sam and Mitch as a couple. I kind of enjoyed the book for the sexiness (honestly, this book was smoking hot), but I wasn't particularly rooting for them either. I can't really pinpoint why that was, other than maybe the addition of Randy into the mix threw things off for me.
I have to say, Heidi's writing is always a pleasure to read. She is unafraid to go there in her sex scenes and writes in a way that makes me not want to put her books down.
Though most of my friends 5 starred this, it didn't rise above a solid "like" for me.
**ARC provided in exchange for an honest review**
January 12, 2022
5 **HOLY FUCK, WHAT YOU DO TO ME, HEIDI** STARS
I've owned the first two books of this series forever and only today read this one, even though I am a slave to Heidi. I just knew this book would rip me to shreds. And it did.
I am still reeling from the mind-fuck. This one ain't for the faint of heart, people.
I'm not even remotely prudish. I will read ANYTHING. But I'm kind of a monogamy slut too, especially when I care about the MCs involved, and so I really resisted the whole Randy/Vegas thing. Like I wanted Old Blue to run off the road forfuckingever, so Randy (Mitch's sort of ex) would just go away. I hated Randy so much at first I wanted to slice him and make him bleed. And it's a testament to Heidi's skill in making the MCs, Mitch and Sam, come alive that I wanted to hurt Randy so badly.
Then I calmed down (a little). Because the kink and play and edges in this book WORK. They work for Mitch, who craves an emotional connection more than he wants the kink and yet desires the dark and dirty too, and they certainly work for Sam, who needs to feel both used and loved and who so desperately needs to let go of the shame.
So while the road (literally and metaphorically) is rugged and painful and full of secrets and dreams, it's a journey worth traveling.
(OK, Randy nearly redeemed himself with that last phone call he made to Sam, much as it pains me to say it).
And the last bit of the book? DEAR GOD, it made my heart swell and SING. What a way to end 2013! Bang indeed.
I've owned the first two books of this series forever and only today read this one, even though I am a slave to Heidi. I just knew this book would rip me to shreds. And it did.
I am still reeling from the mind-fuck. This one ain't for the faint of heart, people.
I'm not even remotely prudish. I will read ANYTHING. But I'm kind of a monogamy slut too, especially when I care about the MCs involved, and so I really resisted the whole Randy/Vegas thing. Like I wanted Old Blue to run off the road forfuckingever, so Randy (Mitch's sort of ex) would just go away. I hated Randy so much at first I wanted to slice him and make him bleed. And it's a testament to Heidi's skill in making the MCs, Mitch and Sam, come alive that I wanted to hurt Randy so badly.
Then I calmed down (a little). Because the kink and play and edges in this book WORK. They work for Mitch, who craves an emotional connection more than he wants the kink and yet desires the dark and dirty too, and they certainly work for Sam, who needs to feel both used and loved and who so desperately needs to let go of the shame.
So while the road (literally and metaphorically) is rugged and painful and full of secrets and dreams, it's a journey worth traveling.
(OK, Randy nearly redeemed himself with that last phone call he made to Sam, much as it pains me to say it).
And the last bit of the book? DEAR GOD, it made my heart swell and SING. What a way to end 2013! Bang indeed.
May 30, 2016
3.75 Stars.
Well this was HOT.Dirty sex.Dirty talk (delicious ),a bit of kink ....and a three way...
Review soon.
Well this was HOT.Dirty sex.Dirty talk (delicious ),a bit of kink ....and a three way...
Review soon.
March 13, 2014
2.5--Are We There Yet--Stars!!
Longest. Roadtrip. Ever.
Town after town. Sex, sex and more sex. I started skimming at about 40%...even the sex.
Shocking, I know.
At first I felt sorry for Sam....
He had all of these sex kinks that he was embarassed about and ashamed of. His mother died and he lived with his aunt and uncle who were heinous, quite frankly. He was so insecure and beat down. But it just went on and on and on.
Mitch...I don't even know. Honestly I didn't love him but I didn't hate him.
Mitch is a truck driver and he and Sam meet when he drops a load off across from the pharmacy where Sam works. They end up hooking up and kind of chat long distance for a few days. Sam gets in a fight with his aunt and uncle and says
He calls Mitch to come get him and off they go....and go....and go....and go. I think it was only like 10 days but it was a seriously LONG 10 days. They meet up with Randy....aka Skeet...Mitch's ex.
Randy was
And frankly I just wanted him to
Sam started the journey being a lost puppy, not really knowing what to do with himself. And ended the journey determined to figure things out on his own. To move on from his aunt and uncle and make something of himself.
The end had me rolling my eyes....
OMG....NO!
Longest. Roadtrip. Ever.
Town after town. Sex, sex and more sex. I started skimming at about 40%...even the sex.
Shocking, I know.
At first I felt sorry for Sam....
He had all of these sex kinks that he was embarassed about and ashamed of. His mother died and he lived with his aunt and uncle who were heinous, quite frankly. He was so insecure and beat down. But it just went on and on and on.
Mitch...I don't even know. Honestly I didn't love him but I didn't hate him.
Mitch is a truck driver and he and Sam meet when he drops a load off across from the pharmacy where Sam works. They end up hooking up and kind of chat long distance for a few days. Sam gets in a fight with his aunt and uncle and says
He calls Mitch to come get him and off they go....and go....and go....and go. I think it was only like 10 days but it was a seriously LONG 10 days. They meet up with Randy....aka Skeet...Mitch's ex.
Randy was
And frankly I just wanted him to
Sam started the journey being a lost puppy, not really knowing what to do with himself. And ended the journey determined to figure things out on his own. To move on from his aunt and uncle and make something of himself.
The end had me rolling my eyes....
OMG....NO!
January 25, 2014
Well damn. This…this I did not expect.
I do not read kink. I don’t like BDSM. But frankly, I don’t like any form of D/s in my books. The only book that has ever worked for me has been Rough Canvas – and that’s because the power play was a HUGE part of the love and trust relationship between the MC’s. Most other books I’ve read, it’s been a game…or a throwaway…or a trend.
Special Delivery just kinda kicked my ass. To be honest, it’s not that I suddenly loved kink and thought ménage and double-penetration and public humiliation sexy. I just don’t think that will EVER happen. BUT, what this book did was bring it BACK to what I can get behind…again, the love & trust relationship between the MC’s. It wasn’t senseless. It was a deeply engrained part of who Sam & Mitch each were. And it made…sense. And the courage it took to reveal those sides to each other, the strength it took to act openly on their desires…served to make their relationship stronger.
I really, really liked what Heidi Cullinan did in this book. It should, despite how raunchy it does get, essentially be any reader’s first foray into kink in romance books in my opinion. Why? Because she walks you through, with great patience, Sam’s own questions, doubts, concerns about the why’s and how’s of kink. And I felt like I was being taught, myself, and introduced into it. And maybe that’s it…I think we could all serve to have an introduction before being thrown in.
And throw you in, she definitely does eventually. This book goes places I actually thought I’d only read in some seriously twisted books like Flesh Cartel. But, then again, I’m a self-admitted prude and naïve in ways. In all honesty, I tolerated the raunchier stuff…and approached it more as a study than as anything that remotely entertained me or got me hot-and-bothered.
You know what did get me fired up? Sam & Mitch…their growing and strengthening relationship. Again, the trust. The kisses. The oddly-explored, but true-nonetheless romance. It wasn’t hidden amongst the rest. It was as prominent as the spanking and the spreading. And it was the basics of the romance itself that worked for me.
I could have done without the over-the-top aunt and the increasingly-annoying “I’m stupid”s and the frustrating lack of communication between Sam & Mitch, and most of all, Randy (I know, I know…but he just disgusts me). But all of that was so minor.
By the end, my emotions ran deep: I was so so thrilled with everything between Mitch & Sam…the bare bones story made me happy and I am shocked to say…that, yes, I…*ahem*…really, really liked this book.
Our group review, author interview, and a chance to win the entire series are all here:
January 7, 2018
Check out our Heidi Cullinan GIVEAWAY + INTERVIEW + TEAM REVIEW (with ratings varying from 2.5 to 4.5, ha!) Click banner below.
The longer I postpone writing this review, the more the Cinderfella glow starts to wear off.. so here we go. Despite being into that sizzling hot opening scene from head to toe, most of Special Delivery left me feeling meh-ish.
Although I had little trouble finishing Special Delivery, I never felt like I got to know the MCs and their chattering about deceased mothers and mean, homophobic families felt like (contrived?) attempts to force me into the role of a wonderfully nurturing and loving female and go all mushy over the ‘poor’ guys. I had expected kink, good kink, but got Walt Disney instead. Compared to Nowhere Ranch by the same author, Special Delivery was a tad disappointing. In the first book, the characters seemed actual people and the kink was kinkier (never mind that the terrifying ending of that one made the Drion pill seem like an attractive escape option).
Most of my friends gobbled this book up, were able to overlook or even like the 95 ‘sunshines’, 17 ‘honeys’, 46 ‘peaches’ and 18 ‘babys’, 3 ‘babes’ and 5 ‘sweeethearts’. They thought the too-insecure-to-function MC was terribly cute and deserved a chance at happiness, be it in the form of 2 do dirty’s or one bad ass trucker with a big, bad blue truck. I’m with them about the trucker part.
But, oh god, Mitch! He kind of lost me halfway with his heavy foreshadowing about a past that turned out to be Kindergarten compared to the stuff I had anticipated by then, his curious behavior around his ex-partner in kink.. Which brings me to threesomes and love triangles. Raunchy Randy. I like assholes (figuratively speaking, only with the M/M genre do feel the need to clarify). I didn’t like this particular dude. And I’m not sure what gives me more goosebumps; that this creepy bugger was given his own book or that he’ll probably be turned into a cuddly teddy bear to fit this author’s Cinderfella mold?
The longer I postpone writing this review, the more the Cinderfella glow starts to wear off.. so here we go. Despite being into that sizzling hot opening scene from head to toe, most of Special Delivery left me feeling meh-ish.
Although I had little trouble finishing Special Delivery, I never felt like I got to know the MCs and their chattering about deceased mothers and mean, homophobic families felt like (contrived?) attempts to force me into the role of a wonderfully nurturing and loving female and go all mushy over the ‘poor’ guys. I had expected kink, good kink, but got Walt Disney instead. Compared to Nowhere Ranch by the same author, Special Delivery was a tad disappointing. In the first book, the characters seemed actual people and the kink was kinkier (never mind that the terrifying ending of that one made the Drion pill seem like an attractive escape option).
Most of my friends gobbled this book up, were able to overlook or even like the 95 ‘sunshines’, 17 ‘honeys’, 46 ‘peaches’ and 18 ‘babys’, 3 ‘babes’ and 5 ‘sweeethearts’. They thought the too-insecure-to-function MC was terribly cute and deserved a chance at happiness, be it in the form of 2 do dirty’s or one bad ass trucker with a big, bad blue truck. I’m with them about the trucker part.
But, oh god, Mitch! He kind of lost me halfway with his heavy foreshadowing about a past that turned out to be Kindergarten compared to the stuff I had anticipated by then, his curious behavior around his ex-partner in kink.. Which brings me to threesomes and love triangles. Raunchy Randy. I like assholes (figuratively speaking, only with the M/M genre do feel the need to clarify). I didn’t like this particular dude. And I’m not sure what gives me more goosebumps; that this creepy bugger was given his own book or that he’ll probably be turned into a cuddly teddy bear to fit this author’s Cinderfella mold?
January 10, 2013
4.55 stars
Oh Sam, I loved him. There's a sweet innocence about him that's cutely endearing but oh boy what a contradiction, he's flirty, slutty, shy, and mischievous. The road trip he embarks on with Mitch is a revelation, every fantasy and erotic dream imaginable is intensified to the max, the eroticism is breathtaking. A kinky sexy feast which both men devour every chance they get. One sticking point, ugh I disliked Randy, Mitch's ex, who was a creepy sleaze, I couldn't stand him. The only positive was that Mitch and Randy were on speaking terms again and Sam was the catalyst in bringing this about. Not a huge fan of the threesome, though it did feel right, as if it freed them from whatever bad things had happened in the past. Wicked, wicked men, heh!
I liked it more than I thought I would, the best part for me was those last exquisite moments between Mitch and Sam, beautiful, romantic and just gorgeous. Sam was all grown up, this wild ride did him the world of good. Recommended for lovers of kinky play.
Oh Sam, I loved him. There's a sweet innocence about him that's cutely endearing but oh boy what a contradiction, he's flirty, slutty, shy, and mischievous. The road trip he embarks on with Mitch is a revelation, every fantasy and erotic dream imaginable is intensified to the max, the eroticism is breathtaking. A kinky sexy feast which both men devour every chance they get. One sticking point, ugh I disliked Randy, Mitch's ex, who was a creepy sleaze, I couldn't stand him. The only positive was that Mitch and Randy were on speaking terms again and Sam was the catalyst in bringing this about. Not a huge fan of the threesome, though it did feel right, as if it freed them from whatever bad things had happened in the past. Wicked, wicked men, heh!
I liked it more than I thought I would, the best part for me was those last exquisite moments between Mitch and Sam, beautiful, romantic and just gorgeous. Sam was all grown up, this wild ride did him the world of good. Recommended for lovers of kinky play.
October 18, 2018
✤4.5✤
Yeah, I know I'm in the minority on that one but it is what it is. *shrugs* Iggy Toma even gave him a quasi-smarmy voice that definitely did not help the cause either.
Sam, on the other hand, can still get into my pocket. I heart him so. He's such a kind soul with some smut-tastic desires. Bless him. I had forgotten how much spreading the ashes of his mother got to me the first time around but when he bought that little box! Right.In.The.Feels.
Mitch is perfect for Sam in so many ways: getting him out of his head and stopping his negative self-talk and making his desires ok without making him feel slutty in a bad way and, most importantly, making him feel desired and safe. Iggy Toma really delivered on Mitch's voice too. Spot on.
I enjoyed the road trip parts just as much as the kinky sex. I especially liked the sentence (paraphrased) where Sam's thinking about Utah and how beautiful it is but it being "someone else's beautiful", not his because he missed the green of Iowa. That struck a chord because I too love to travel and appreciate the beauty of those other places but there's no place like home.
Special Delivery is kinky, though, so if kink's not your gig... tread lightly. Spanking, humiliation, some bondage, DP, public sex and polyamory.
Even though the whole "romance" occurs over 10 days, I believed in their love. I don't begrudge the Randy aspects and I realize he played a pivotal role in bringing Mitch and Sam together, but still... not a fan. *shrugs* <---again
I appreciated Toma's voice and delivery much more this go round than in Dance With Me. He differentiated all the characters with aplomb and conveyed the emotions well.
Recommend for atypical romance fans.
YAP! I *still* don't like Randy.
Yeah, I know I'm in the minority on that one but it is what it is. *shrugs* Iggy Toma even gave him a quasi-smarmy voice that definitely did not help the cause either.
Sam, on the other hand, can still get into my pocket. I heart him so. He's such a kind soul with some smut-tastic desires. Bless him. I had forgotten how much spreading the ashes of his mother got to me the first time around but when he bought that little box! Right.In.The.Feels.
Mitch is perfect for Sam in so many ways: getting him out of his head and stopping his negative self-talk and making his desires ok without making him feel slutty in a bad way and, most importantly, making him feel desired and safe. Iggy Toma really delivered on Mitch's voice too. Spot on.
I enjoyed the road trip parts just as much as the kinky sex. I especially liked the sentence (paraphrased) where Sam's thinking about Utah and how beautiful it is but it being "someone else's beautiful", not his because he missed the green of Iowa. That struck a chord because I too love to travel and appreciate the beauty of those other places but there's no place like home.
Special Delivery is kinky, though, so if kink's not your gig... tread lightly. Spanking, humiliation, some bondage, DP, public sex and polyamory.
Even though the whole "romance" occurs over 10 days, I believed in their love. I don't begrudge the Randy aspects and I realize he played a pivotal role in bringing Mitch and Sam together, but still... not a fan. *shrugs* <---again
I appreciated Toma's voice and delivery much more this go round than in Dance With Me. He differentiated all the characters with aplomb and conveyed the emotions well.
Recommend for atypical romance fans.
April 17, 2023
Relisten April 2023: Still dirty!
Relisten May 2022: Still hot.
re-listen 2/11/19:
Upped rating to 5 stars because of reasons including:
Filthy as fuck sex
Iggy Toma
Exhibitionism
Randy
Love
DP
AND BECUASE IT WAS JUST THAT MUCH BETTER THE THIRD TIME AROUND!!
Hot. Sexy. Dirty. And damn, was the narration for the audiobook beyond steamy!
Relisten May 2022: Still hot.
re-listen 2/11/19:
Upped rating to 5 stars because of reasons including:
Filthy as fuck sex
Iggy Toma
Exhibitionism
Randy
Love
DP
AND BECUASE IT WAS JUST THAT MUCH BETTER THE THIRD TIME AROUND!!
Hot. Sexy. Dirty. And damn, was the narration for the audiobook beyond steamy!
May 30, 2016
I’ve read this three times now (last read was the audio) and I’ve liked this story more each time I read it. And the audio is AMAZING! Iggy Toma is one of my favorite narrators. Mitch’s drawl was just so freaking sexy!
This is a kinky read and even though I’m normally not one to get all excited if there is sex with more than just the MCs, I loved this one.
I think the reason that this book made it different was that it was Mitch’s kink to see Sam with other men. And he was always present, I liked that too. So when it was clear they really did have something special together, I could get into the mood for the multiple partners thing. And we get eased into it, like Sam. It’s not like Heidi just springs an entire gang-bang on us.
Yeah, this was good. I loved Sam and his hot trucker.
This is a kinky read and even though I’m normally not one to get all excited if there is sex with more than just the MCs, I loved this one.
I think the reason that this book made it different was that it was Mitch’s kink to see Sam with other men. And he was always present, I liked that too. So when it was clear they really did have something special together, I could get into the mood for the multiple partners thing. And we get eased into it, like Sam. It’s not like Heidi just springs an entire gang-bang on us.
Yeah, this was good. I loved Sam and his hot trucker.
July 27, 2011
^^AMAZING!!^^
More of my reviews and thoughts on my blog PANTS OFF REVIEWS
This one was an emotional rollercoaster for me, in the beginning I didn’t like it much but by the end I was cheering, crying and laughing. I had my hang ups that this was going to be a road trip about kinky sex, it became so much more than that. A deeply rooted love story as tall and strong as any tree seen on this journey through the winding roads of the USA. I was in a perpetual state of reading once I got into it, and I am saddened that it had to end.
Sam Keller is how can I describe him, just Sam. He lost his mom and lives with his aunt and uncle and home is not a place he enjoys. He’s twenty one with no way to make it on his own he just wishes for the day he can be free. The feelings Sam carry inside of him cannot be looked at lightly. Emotionally he is unhappy, sexually he likes to punished or should I say controlled or meant to be felt worthless. He has been expressing these desires the wrong way; giving blowjobs to assholes in the college bathroom, and getting used on pizza boxes. Until he meets Mitch and he gets educated in all things sexual, but what Sam will learn even more is about himself. Who knew that shaking his ass to his music while he thinks no one was looking would land him the love of his life.
Mitch has seen it all and pretty much done it all. Until instant attraction to a dancing beauty, which leads to mind blowing sex in his truck. He knows that this would be one time thing, knowing what his job entails but faith had other things in store and that quick fling becomes something more. Now Mitch and Sam head out on the road, Mitch not knowing whether Sam is completely certain of the path he is about to take, but one thing he knows no job on the roads will ever compare to this one. A winding road of sexual discovery begins, between truck stops, sight seeing and emotional blow ups. Mitch and Sam fall into rhythm as smooth and sometimes rocky as the road.
With all that comes Mitch’s shady past, a past he is afraid of letting Sam know about. That past is also his future and all that worrying should have been thought about before he let Sam in is truck. The sex between them becomes kinky and sometimes they weren’t alone. Never though did you lose the connection between them, it was like two halves of a whole. My take was that even though Mitch had done that and been there, while he was teaching Sam he was also teaching himself. Their final stop takes them to Las Vegas the home of Mitch’s skeletons but this is where I fell in love with them. You also get to meet Randy one of the skeletons, the ultimate asshole that you can’t help but love.
I hated Sam in the beginning he was like the ultimate whiner. With all “I am stupid” blah blah, he does grow up and in the end I loved him. I was happy when he embraced who he was and threw out all the self hatred bullshit. Mitch I thought he was sketchy, but then I just realized he was lonely and living in denial heaven. You can have the things you want, just have to go about it the right way. The introduction to Randy left me peeved, if I had a dick I wanted to aim it at his face and pee in it ( but he would probably like it), but then I changed my mind. Without him in that last part we would have never gotten what we did of Mitch and Sam, and I appreciated him for that. The sex was hot and plentiful became more emotional and less taboo for me at the end there. So I loved it. A great read that will forever be a tattoo on my heart. Its like one of those coming of age stories, and a brilliant love story. Makes you think why this stuff isn’t mainstream when its so bloody good. This was one amazing journey.
I can’t wait to read my adorable bastard Randy’s book. Now I know why Mitch calls him *Skeet*.
More of my reviews and thoughts on my blog PANTS OFF REVIEWS
This one was an emotional rollercoaster for me, in the beginning I didn’t like it much but by the end I was cheering, crying and laughing. I had my hang ups that this was going to be a road trip about kinky sex, it became so much more than that. A deeply rooted love story as tall and strong as any tree seen on this journey through the winding roads of the USA. I was in a perpetual state of reading once I got into it, and I am saddened that it had to end.
Sam Keller is how can I describe him, just Sam. He lost his mom and lives with his aunt and uncle and home is not a place he enjoys. He’s twenty one with no way to make it on his own he just wishes for the day he can be free. The feelings Sam carry inside of him cannot be looked at lightly. Emotionally he is unhappy, sexually he likes to punished or should I say controlled or meant to be felt worthless. He has been expressing these desires the wrong way; giving blowjobs to assholes in the college bathroom, and getting used on pizza boxes. Until he meets Mitch and he gets educated in all things sexual, but what Sam will learn even more is about himself. Who knew that shaking his ass to his music while he thinks no one was looking would land him the love of his life.
Mitch has seen it all and pretty much done it all. Until instant attraction to a dancing beauty, which leads to mind blowing sex in his truck. He knows that this would be one time thing, knowing what his job entails but faith had other things in store and that quick fling becomes something more. Now Mitch and Sam head out on the road, Mitch not knowing whether Sam is completely certain of the path he is about to take, but one thing he knows no job on the roads will ever compare to this one. A winding road of sexual discovery begins, between truck stops, sight seeing and emotional blow ups. Mitch and Sam fall into rhythm as smooth and sometimes rocky as the road.
With all that comes Mitch’s shady past, a past he is afraid of letting Sam know about. That past is also his future and all that worrying should have been thought about before he let Sam in is truck. The sex between them becomes kinky and sometimes they weren’t alone. Never though did you lose the connection between them, it was like two halves of a whole. My take was that even though Mitch had done that and been there, while he was teaching Sam he was also teaching himself. Their final stop takes them to Las Vegas the home of Mitch’s skeletons but this is where I fell in love with them. You also get to meet Randy one of the skeletons, the ultimate asshole that you can’t help but love.
I hated Sam in the beginning he was like the ultimate whiner. With all “I am stupid” blah blah, he does grow up and in the end I loved him. I was happy when he embraced who he was and threw out all the self hatred bullshit. Mitch I thought he was sketchy, but then I just realized he was lonely and living in denial heaven. You can have the things you want, just have to go about it the right way. The introduction to Randy left me peeved, if I had a dick I wanted to aim it at his face and pee in it ( but he would probably like it), but then I changed my mind. Without him in that last part we would have never gotten what we did of Mitch and Sam, and I appreciated him for that. The sex was hot and plentiful became more emotional and less taboo for me at the end there. So I loved it. A great read that will forever be a tattoo on my heart. Its like one of those coming of age stories, and a brilliant love story. Makes you think why this stuff isn’t mainstream when its so bloody good. This was one amazing journey.
I can’t wait to read my adorable bastard Randy’s book. Now I know why Mitch calls him *Skeet*.
August 13, 2016
First of all: What happened when this book was read and dissected and reviewed by girls who have different levels of kink tolerance (or in my case, also the use of pet names/endearments/non-name nicknames)?
This is a Boys in Our Books buddy read. READ THE FULL GROUP REVIEW HERE
As for my own review, see below
------------------
Here’s the thing … I usually separate my smut reading and my romance reading. If I read smut (a.k.a. slash porn), I won’t bother about characterizations or plot or life issues; throw me the kink, I’ll enjoy it. But if I read romance, I don’t like sex substance to take over. More sex scenes than story never really works for me. I will end up feeling bored, and any book will become, SEX SEX SEX BLAH BLAH SEX SEX BLAH SEX. Yes, romance can have smut, of course it can, but for me it has to be significant to the story, like the sex becomes the reward, rather than the accessory.
So here are my issues on this book:
**The main characters were dull. Sam was whiny (and no, for me he didn’t change, well maybe a bit, but it was too late for me to like him). Mitch was wishy washy (“I don’t want to hurt you”, “are you sure about this” … then he took Sam to do things without asking, then he started again with “You’re different, I don’t want this for you”. OH GOD MAKE UP YOUR FRICKIN’ MIND). I don’t connect with these two at all – and I didn’t find them interesting.
**Yep, sex over story. It was like they wanted to try every eroticism and fantasy out there. Might be hot if I never read porn. Unfortunately I do read them. So yeah, they all became same-old-same-old *yawn*.
**Again, my problem was, outside the sex, the story was mainly about Sam’s insecurities or Mitch’s family issues (abandonment, again, hello?). I know that this is supposed to be some sort of personal life journey for Sam. But I have NEVER been a fan of touching these personal issues in a story with sex. I also didn’t understand about Mitch and Randy’s fall out – but they were ready to pick it up again with Sam in the scene??
Wait, what about the kink you said? Because this buddy read started with, challenging a couple of our blog members (i.e. Susan) with the kink. The kink was okay, it didn’t bother me at all (I’ve read them all, threesome, gang bang, beastiality, DP, BDSM, humiliation, degradation) again, for me the enjoyment depends on the context rather than the kink level). Maybe I would like this better if Sam was all about finding the joy of kink – without having the insecurities – or if Mitch is less wishy-washy.
And that ending … Oh, gosh, that ending … I am just going to let “ rolling my eyes ” expression explain my feeling. Thank you very much.
Do I not have anything good about to say? Well, I do … I liked the road trip. I always loved road trip stories. So the part where Sam was awed with the scene on the road trips was my favorites.
And Randy … surprisingly, I found him more interesting than Sam and Mitch. He was unapologetic, he knew what he wanted and he was willing to flirt, to manipulate, and even to scare the wits out of Sam to get it. I thought he added ‘color’ to this book.
Last but not least, I finished this book by deleting the endearments. I HATE excessive, over-the-top, endearments. HATE them. So 95 “Sunshine”, 46 “Peaches”, “honey”, “baby”, “sweetheart”, “babe” … yeah, not going to work.
This is a Boys in Our Books buddy read. READ THE FULL GROUP REVIEW HERE
As for my own review, see below
------------------
Here’s the thing … I usually separate my smut reading and my romance reading. If I read smut (a.k.a. slash porn), I won’t bother about characterizations or plot or life issues; throw me the kink, I’ll enjoy it. But if I read romance, I don’t like sex substance to take over. More sex scenes than story never really works for me. I will end up feeling bored, and any book will become, SEX SEX SEX BLAH BLAH SEX SEX BLAH SEX. Yes, romance can have smut, of course it can, but for me it has to be significant to the story, like the sex becomes the reward, rather than the accessory.
So here are my issues on this book:
**The main characters were dull. Sam was whiny (and no, for me he didn’t change, well maybe a bit, but it was too late for me to like him). Mitch was wishy washy (“I don’t want to hurt you”, “are you sure about this” … then he took Sam to do things without asking, then he started again with “You’re different, I don’t want this for you”. OH GOD MAKE UP YOUR FRICKIN’ MIND). I don’t connect with these two at all – and I didn’t find them interesting.
**Yep, sex over story. It was like they wanted to try every eroticism and fantasy out there. Might be hot if I never read porn. Unfortunately I do read them. So yeah, they all became same-old-same-old *yawn*.
**Again, my problem was, outside the sex, the story was mainly about Sam’s insecurities or Mitch’s family issues (abandonment, again, hello?). I know that this is supposed to be some sort of personal life journey for Sam. But I have NEVER been a fan of touching these personal issues in a story with sex. I also didn’t understand about Mitch and Randy’s fall out – but they were ready to pick it up again with Sam in the scene??
Wait, what about the kink you said? Because this buddy read started with, challenging a couple of our blog members (i.e. Susan) with the kink. The kink was okay, it didn’t bother me at all (I’ve read them all, threesome, gang bang, beastiality, DP, BDSM, humiliation, degradation) again, for me the enjoyment depends on the context rather than the kink level). Maybe I would like this better if Sam was all about finding the joy of kink – without having the insecurities – or if Mitch is less wishy-washy.
And that ending … Oh, gosh, that ending … I am just going to let “ rolling my eyes ” expression explain my feeling. Thank you very much.
Do I not have anything good about to say? Well, I do … I liked the road trip. I always loved road trip stories. So the part where Sam was awed with the scene on the road trips was my favorites.
And Randy … surprisingly, I found him more interesting than Sam and Mitch. He was unapologetic, he knew what he wanted and he was willing to flirt, to manipulate, and even to scare the wits out of Sam to get it. I thought he added ‘color’ to this book.
Last but not least, I finished this book by deleting the endearments. I HATE excessive, over-the-top, endearments. HATE them. So 95 “Sunshine”, 46 “Peaches”, “honey”, “baby”, “sweetheart”, “babe” … yeah, not going to work.
February 11, 2020
Free through Bookfunnel (2/11/2020)
https://dl.bookfunnel.com/b3qqurvv7t
***
I've enjoyed a number of Heidi Cullinan's books in the past, but had put this one off for a long time based upon the menage/open relationship aspects of the book, which are just things that don't always personally work for me in a story. As you can see from my rating, I am more than glad that I finally picked this one up. In between all the kinky sex is a well written emotional story of Sam's struggle to accept himself without shame, kinks and all.
Sam is 21 years old, living with and working for his disapproving aunt and passive uncle since his mother passed away several years ago. The fact that he is an imposition on them and their standing in the community is something she doesn't ever let Sam forget. Sam is gay and takes his pleasure where he can find it whether it is sucking off straight boys at school or a by appointment regular hook up. There is no emotional relationship and Sam secretly revels in being used. His mother always told him he should only have sex with love, but Sam's desires run towards being used hard and humiliated, hopefully one day with more than one man at a time, and he is ashamed to feel this way.
A chance meeting with 33 year old trucker Mitch in the alley behind the pharmacy he works at leads to some mind blowing sex that Sam cannot forget. When Mitch comes through town again, he offers Sam (who Mitch has nicknamed Sunshine) the opportunity to travel with him. Soon Sam is living out all his hidden kinky fantasies, but Mitch is hiding something and Sam is determined to find out what it is and why it is causing Mitch to hold back.
This book is full of filthy, hot, kinky sex, often with more than just Sam and Mitch and at times in public. This book is also full of emotion and a story of Sam's coming of age and learning to deal with being ashamed of what he wants. I was in tears more than once as Sam realizes what he wants from his life and tries to navigate his relationship with Mitch. Most of the time they spend together is over a two week period in the close confines of Mitch's semi, which forces them to open up and deal honestly with each other. The relationship is intense and Sam is vulnerable and confused, but he goes into everything willingly and Mitch is always there willing to stop at the drop of a word.
There are a few secondary characters, but the one that stands out is Mitch's old friend Randy, who came on as a slimy, creep, but eventually redeemed himself to the extent that I can't wait to read his story.
https://dl.bookfunnel.com/b3qqurvv7t
***
I've enjoyed a number of Heidi Cullinan's books in the past, but had put this one off for a long time based upon the menage/open relationship aspects of the book, which are just things that don't always personally work for me in a story. As you can see from my rating, I am more than glad that I finally picked this one up. In between all the kinky sex is a well written emotional story of Sam's struggle to accept himself without shame, kinks and all.
Sam is 21 years old, living with and working for his disapproving aunt and passive uncle since his mother passed away several years ago. The fact that he is an imposition on them and their standing in the community is something she doesn't ever let Sam forget. Sam is gay and takes his pleasure where he can find it whether it is sucking off straight boys at school or a by appointment regular hook up. There is no emotional relationship and Sam secretly revels in being used. His mother always told him he should only have sex with love, but Sam's desires run towards being used hard and humiliated, hopefully one day with more than one man at a time, and he is ashamed to feel this way.
A chance meeting with 33 year old trucker Mitch in the alley behind the pharmacy he works at leads to some mind blowing sex that Sam cannot forget. When Mitch comes through town again, he offers Sam (who Mitch has nicknamed Sunshine) the opportunity to travel with him. Soon Sam is living out all his hidden kinky fantasies, but Mitch is hiding something and Sam is determined to find out what it is and why it is causing Mitch to hold back.
This book is full of filthy, hot, kinky sex, often with more than just Sam and Mitch and at times in public. This book is also full of emotion and a story of Sam's coming of age and learning to deal with being ashamed of what he wants. I was in tears more than once as Sam realizes what he wants from his life and tries to navigate his relationship with Mitch. Most of the time they spend together is over a two week period in the close confines of Mitch's semi, which forces them to open up and deal honestly with each other. The relationship is intense and Sam is vulnerable and confused, but he goes into everything willingly and Mitch is always there willing to stop at the drop of a word.
There are a few secondary characters, but the one that stands out is Mitch's old friend Randy, who came on as a slimy, creep, but eventually redeemed himself to the extent that I can't wait to read his story.
September 10, 2014
A REALLY NICE JOURNEY TO LOVE.
3.5 HOT TRUCKER MEETS TENTATIVE SLUT ON A ROAD TRIP STARS.
I guess now I know why this is a fan favorite. Because the sex was so so good! And the characters in the story are quite remarkable. I think my favorite was Randy, who was hell annoying in the beginning, but eventually I give in to him. And what he did for Sam and Mitch at the end was really damn nice.
As much as I like it, I thought this was a little all over the place as well. There was a lot of sex, and different kinds in that regard. There were tender ones, and hell kinky ones. At least, this one was written well enough that even if it was like that, it is still a very likable story.
The one thing that missed the mark for me was the romance . I didn't think it was there until the end. (This maybe because Mitch is holding back so much for my taste) Which was quite disappointing to be honest. At one point, I was more interested to know more about Randy than to root for Sam and Mitch. Because during the middle of the book, those two are really annoying and I got tired a little of them. Glad that they had a really nice ending though.
Overall this was a very likable read and I can recommend this to anyone who wants a nice erotic read. Beware for a lot of kink by the way!
A RECOMMENDED READ!
3.5 HOT TRUCKER MEETS TENTATIVE SLUT ON A ROAD TRIP STARS.
I guess now I know why this is a fan favorite. Because the sex was so so good! And the characters in the story are quite remarkable. I think my favorite was Randy, who was hell annoying in the beginning, but eventually I give in to him. And what he did for Sam and Mitch at the end was really damn nice.
As much as I like it, I thought this was a little all over the place as well. There was a lot of sex, and different kinds in that regard. There were tender ones, and hell kinky ones. At least, this one was written well enough that even if it was like that, it is still a very likable story.
The one thing that missed the mark for me was the romance . I didn't think it was there until the end. (This maybe because Mitch is holding back so much for my taste) Which was quite disappointing to be honest. At one point, I was more interested to know more about Randy than to root for Sam and Mitch. Because during the middle of the book, those two are really annoying and I got tired a little of them. Glad that they had a really nice ending though.
Overall this was a very likable read and I can recommend this to anyone who wants a nice erotic read. Beware for a lot of kink by the way!
A RECOMMENDED READ!
August 29, 2013
I'm blown away by this book, it was absolutely terrific and such a pleasant surprise. It was amazing right up until the last page and I loved it. Mitch and Sam were the cutest couple ever and the ending was so special it gave me tears. I think it could possibly be one of my favourite books ever:)
August 4, 2018
audio 5 stars (amazing narration)
story 4 stars
Hot and kinky but a heartfelt story as well. It was not just porn on page.
story 4 stars
Hot and kinky but a heartfelt story as well. It was not just porn on page.
December 13, 2019
Thank you “Figgy Puddin’ Elf” for gifting me this wicked and wonderful novel!
Heidi Cullinan’s Special Delivery surprised me. It sort of knocked the wind out of me, tbh. In a really, really good way. Cullinan had me at “long-haul trucker” and “x-rated fantasy,” but the novel is not standard gay erotica, even if its scenarios are all drawn from that genre’s playbook. The opening scene--in which twinky Iowa nursing student Sam gets off on giving bathroom stall head to a mouthy jock only to confront the uncanny image of his dead mother’s face staring back at him through his own features, post-blowjob, from the restroom mirror, triggering a spiral of shame and self-hatred--immediately establishes the novel’s strategy of realistically deflating the edgy fantasies it evokes. Even more fundamentally, this gut-wrenching scene alerts us that this is a novel about the angst-ridden journey from queer shame to queer self-acceptance as filtered through the often fraught relationship that gay men have with their mothers (it may be a sterotype, and certainly doesn’t apply universally; nevertheless, it is not proverbial without reason).
But let's back up: protagonist Sam Keller is a college age sub with a taste for kink who is struggling into adulthood after the untimely death of his mother. Already feeling stuck living in small town Iowa with an aunt who sees him as an unwelcome obligation in the early chapters of the book, Sam soon finds an escape route from the grey world of Middleton and his aunt’s pharmacy in the form of a back alley hookup with long-haul trucker Mitch Tedsoe that blossoms into something unexpectedly meaningful for both men. As the opening scene in the college men’s room hints, moreover, the novel intertwines Sam’s cross-country sexual coming-of-age on the road with his coming-to-terms with his mother’s passing (and, by implication, with what he imagines would be her disapproval of the way his desire is structured around “perverse” forms of submission and humiliation).
On his way out of town, following a blow-up with his judgmental aunt who has caught his casual hookup outside her pharmacy on security cam, Sam absconds with his mother’s ashes. The rest of the novel sets his unconventional sexual exploration in parallel with scenes in which Sam scatters his mother’s ashes across the American West: “They stopped in Vail, and Sam scattered more ashes, though not much. There weren’t many left. He felt sad, even though he was happy he’d taken her along and spread her everywhere, because he knew she’d rather have taken a trip across the West than sit forever on Aunt Delia’s shelf. But he realized she wouldn’t ever sit on that shelf, not anymore. She was everywhere now, all over the whole west, and she was in so many rivers and flowers and valleys that she’d keep going, and going and going. The woman who had spent so much of her life tied down, by her situation or by her disease, would never be tied down again.” By making his mother’s liberation coincide with his own, Sam perhaps begins to imagine a different kind of maternal gaze: she is “everywhere” now, part of nature and no longer the judging face in the restroom mirror.
Meanwhile, Sam’s slow journey towards self-acceptance is marked simultaneously by increasingly intense, kinky, public, and emotionally volatile sexual adventures--first with Mitch (whose gargantuan heart and sense of responsibility and kindness towards Sam are things that likely mark him most decisively as a fantasy-figure for the cynical among us!) and then with Mitch’s lecherous Las Vegas buddy Randy, whose appearance about two-thirds of the way through the novel adds a heightened element of danger and intrigue to the debauchery.
Throughout, the sex between the men--Sam, Mitch, and eventually Randy--is treated with the same psychological subtlety and canniness as everything else in the novel. Like the opening scene, later sex scenes too pointedly juxtapose fantasy and reality--sometimes painfully, sometimes humorously, but most often excitingly. The reality-effect of sexual missed opportunities, U-turns, and fumbles has the net effect of adding to the novel’s authentic eroticism, not subtracting from it. Many erotica writers could learn a lot from Cullinan’s realist technique in this regard.
For all its erotic fireworks, though, Cullinan’s novel is even more notable for its extraordinarily penetrating treatment of the painful knotting of transgressive desire, parental/social judgment, shame, and self-becoming that all queer folks wrestle with, one way or another. That is, even though the novel focuses on a very specific organization of sexual pleasure--and it must be said that Sam’s kinks will not appeal to every reader, indeed, will likely repell some readers--the more general way in which all queer desire is “unacceptable” makes the particular form that unacceptable desire takes in Special Delivery at least potentially legible as a metaphor for the socially forbidden or unsanctioned or unrecognized desires that make up some portion of all sexualities--the way in which everyone is in some sense “queer.” For my own part, I found Sam and Mitch and Randy’s story compelling, hot, moving, authentic, and a terrific piece of genre writing. And I was really delighted to learn...that there are sequels! ;)
Thanks again, Figgy Puddin’ Elf for this very thoughtful and well-chosen gift! XO
Heidi Cullinan’s Special Delivery surprised me. It sort of knocked the wind out of me, tbh. In a really, really good way. Cullinan had me at “long-haul trucker” and “x-rated fantasy,” but the novel is not standard gay erotica, even if its scenarios are all drawn from that genre’s playbook. The opening scene--in which twinky Iowa nursing student Sam gets off on giving bathroom stall head to a mouthy jock only to confront the uncanny image of his dead mother’s face staring back at him through his own features, post-blowjob, from the restroom mirror, triggering a spiral of shame and self-hatred--immediately establishes the novel’s strategy of realistically deflating the edgy fantasies it evokes. Even more fundamentally, this gut-wrenching scene alerts us that this is a novel about the angst-ridden journey from queer shame to queer self-acceptance as filtered through the often fraught relationship that gay men have with their mothers (it may be a sterotype, and certainly doesn’t apply universally; nevertheless, it is not proverbial without reason).
But let's back up: protagonist Sam Keller is a college age sub with a taste for kink who is struggling into adulthood after the untimely death of his mother. Already feeling stuck living in small town Iowa with an aunt who sees him as an unwelcome obligation in the early chapters of the book, Sam soon finds an escape route from the grey world of Middleton and his aunt’s pharmacy in the form of a back alley hookup with long-haul trucker Mitch Tedsoe that blossoms into something unexpectedly meaningful for both men. As the opening scene in the college men’s room hints, moreover, the novel intertwines Sam’s cross-country sexual coming-of-age on the road with his coming-to-terms with his mother’s passing (and, by implication, with what he imagines would be her disapproval of the way his desire is structured around “perverse” forms of submission and humiliation).
On his way out of town, following a blow-up with his judgmental aunt who has caught his casual hookup outside her pharmacy on security cam, Sam absconds with his mother’s ashes. The rest of the novel sets his unconventional sexual exploration in parallel with scenes in which Sam scatters his mother’s ashes across the American West: “They stopped in Vail, and Sam scattered more ashes, though not much. There weren’t many left. He felt sad, even though he was happy he’d taken her along and spread her everywhere, because he knew she’d rather have taken a trip across the West than sit forever on Aunt Delia’s shelf. But he realized she wouldn’t ever sit on that shelf, not anymore. She was everywhere now, all over the whole west, and she was in so many rivers and flowers and valleys that she’d keep going, and going and going. The woman who had spent so much of her life tied down, by her situation or by her disease, would never be tied down again.” By making his mother’s liberation coincide with his own, Sam perhaps begins to imagine a different kind of maternal gaze: she is “everywhere” now, part of nature and no longer the judging face in the restroom mirror.
Meanwhile, Sam’s slow journey towards self-acceptance is marked simultaneously by increasingly intense, kinky, public, and emotionally volatile sexual adventures--first with Mitch (whose gargantuan heart and sense of responsibility and kindness towards Sam are things that likely mark him most decisively as a fantasy-figure for the cynical among us!) and then with Mitch’s lecherous Las Vegas buddy Randy, whose appearance about two-thirds of the way through the novel adds a heightened element of danger and intrigue to the debauchery.
Throughout, the sex between the men--Sam, Mitch, and eventually Randy--is treated with the same psychological subtlety and canniness as everything else in the novel. Like the opening scene, later sex scenes too pointedly juxtapose fantasy and reality--sometimes painfully, sometimes humorously, but most often excitingly. The reality-effect of sexual missed opportunities, U-turns, and fumbles has the net effect of adding to the novel’s authentic eroticism, not subtracting from it. Many erotica writers could learn a lot from Cullinan’s realist technique in this regard.
For all its erotic fireworks, though, Cullinan’s novel is even more notable for its extraordinarily penetrating treatment of the painful knotting of transgressive desire, parental/social judgment, shame, and self-becoming that all queer folks wrestle with, one way or another. That is, even though the novel focuses on a very specific organization of sexual pleasure--and it must be said that Sam’s kinks will not appeal to every reader, indeed, will likely repell some readers--the more general way in which all queer desire is “unacceptable” makes the particular form that unacceptable desire takes in Special Delivery at least potentially legible as a metaphor for the socially forbidden or unsanctioned or unrecognized desires that make up some portion of all sexualities--the way in which everyone is in some sense “queer.” For my own part, I found Sam and Mitch and Randy’s story compelling, hot, moving, authentic, and a terrific piece of genre writing. And I was really delighted to learn...that there are sequels! ;)
Thanks again, Figgy Puddin’ Elf for this very thoughtful and well-chosen gift! XO
February 7, 2014
Reviewed for PBA
I'll tell you what, I really need to start reading the blurbs of these books. I mean really. I had no idea Special Delivery was kinky when I agreed to read it for the blog. Serendipity, I tell ya. It was also my first experience with Ms. Cullinan and a most pleasant experience it was.
Special Delivery starts off with a bang. Literally. Sam and Mitch wend up in the trailer of his 18-wheeler. Yaow! Quite the attention grabber indeed. Sam is turned on by being used. I know this sounds odd to some, but it is what it is and what it was was HOT! Unfortunately, Sam has been giving himself to a couple of asshats who don't appreciate him.
Sam struggles with his self-image as much as any other twentysomething. He's had some misfortune in his life which has led him to the basement of his aunt and uncle's house and into their pharmacy as a stock boy and totally reliant upon them for... everything. To make matters worse, his Aunt Delia is the anti-christ. The only bright spot in Sam's life is his best friend, Emma, but he can't confide everything in her. All of which makes his rendezvous with Mitch more like a Godsend.
Mitch is a long haul truck driver with a checkered past. He's a bit taciturn and he's got a penchant for twinks and kink. Historically, he's been a one trick pony but Sam has left an indelible mark and, coincidentally, his iPhone. One thing leads to another and Sam wends up running away for a few days with Mitch to have an adventure and to get away from the anti-christ.
WOW! What a few days they are. In case there is any confusion, Special Delivery is smokin' hot. Sam gets quite the education from Mitch. Everything from spanking to vibrating thongs to exhibitionism to a threesome or two. Best escapist 10 days EVAR! Randy, Mitch's friend and ex, definitely made things interesting, but more than that he plays an integral role in the relationship development of Mitch and Sam.
I don't want to leave you with the impression that Special Delivery is all about the sex. It's not. There's a great deal of angst from both characters and quite a bit of heartfelt moments. Quite simply it's one of the most poignant books I've read lately. The relationship that these two develop is truly a thing of beauty. They both accept each other for who and what they are without judgment, and they open up to each other in ways that neither has before. Special Delivery is a journey of self-discovery and Sam becomes fully realized by the end.
I want to say Special Delivery was too long and at times it did feel long, but in all honesty, I can't think of where it could've been edited down. The writing and imagery are wonderful. The characters are fully developed. The story was exquisite. It hit me right in the feels and I want more. I'm giddy with anticipation to read Double Blind. Highly recommend to those who love angst with their kink.
A review copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review
I'll tell you what, I really need to start reading the blurbs of these books. I mean really. I had no idea Special Delivery was kinky when I agreed to read it for the blog. Serendipity, I tell ya. It was also my first experience with Ms. Cullinan and a most pleasant experience it was.
Special Delivery starts off with a bang. Literally. Sam and Mitch wend up in the trailer of his 18-wheeler. Yaow! Quite the attention grabber indeed. Sam is turned on by being used. I know this sounds odd to some, but it is what it is and what it was was HOT! Unfortunately, Sam has been giving himself to a couple of asshats who don't appreciate him.
Sam struggles with his self-image as much as any other twentysomething. He's had some misfortune in his life which has led him to the basement of his aunt and uncle's house and into their pharmacy as a stock boy and totally reliant upon them for... everything. To make matters worse, his Aunt Delia is the anti-christ. The only bright spot in Sam's life is his best friend, Emma, but he can't confide everything in her. All of which makes his rendezvous with Mitch more like a Godsend.
Mitch is a long haul truck driver with a checkered past. He's a bit taciturn and he's got a penchant for twinks and kink. Historically, he's been a one trick pony but Sam has left an indelible mark and, coincidentally, his iPhone. One thing leads to another and Sam wends up running away for a few days with Mitch to have an adventure and to get away from the anti-christ.
WOW! What a few days they are. In case there is any confusion, Special Delivery is smokin' hot. Sam gets quite the education from Mitch. Everything from spanking to vibrating thongs to exhibitionism to a threesome or two. Best escapist 10 days EVAR! Randy, Mitch's friend and ex, definitely made things interesting, but more than that he plays an integral role in the relationship development of Mitch and Sam.
He was Sam. He was Sunshine. He was Peaches. He was a hot twink fucked by two men at once. He was a male nursing student. He was gay. He was his mother's son. He was a fatherless boy. He was his aunt and uncle's awkward yoke to bear. He was Emma's friend. He was everything, simply, and with no more complications.
I don't want to leave you with the impression that Special Delivery is all about the sex. It's not. There's a great deal of angst from both characters and quite a bit of heartfelt moments. Quite simply it's one of the most poignant books I've read lately. The relationship that these two develop is truly a thing of beauty. They both accept each other for who and what they are without judgment, and they open up to each other in ways that neither has before. Special Delivery is a journey of self-discovery and Sam becomes fully realized by the end.
I want to say Special Delivery was too long and at times it did feel long, but in all honesty, I can't think of where it could've been edited down. The writing and imagery are wonderful. The characters are fully developed. The story was exquisite. It hit me right in the feels and I want more. I'm giddy with anticipation to read Double Blind. Highly recommend to those who love angst with their kink.
A review copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review
January 23, 2014
I can honestly say that I love everything in this book! I love the plot and the characters, I love the dirty talk and all the sex scenes, and mostly I love how confidence and strenght grew inside Sam! How his fantasies turned into reality, how Mitch became the most important person in his life, how he discovered love and excitment! Mitch is an amazing man, always taking care of Sam, always thinking about his lover's needs... And Randy... first I had some reserves about him, but in the end I love him too!
And speaking about the ending... so beautiful, sweet... I cried... tears of happiness!
I know this book is not for everyone, because there is BDSM and menage, but I love it and I am very happy to have read it. And now I heading for Double Blind.
And speaking about the ending... so beautiful, sweet... I cried... tears of happiness!
I know this book is not for everyone, because there is BDSM and menage, but I love it and I am very happy to have read it. And now I heading for Double Blind.
February 28, 2010
How do I rate a book thats beyond anything in its genre that I have read? It puts 5 stars to shame! Oh my god! This book rocks and Heidi Cullinan is amazing! Wow!
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May 24, 2017Available now in audio: http://www.audible.com/pd/Romance/Spe...
January 28, 2014
3.5 Stars
I wasn’t sure what kind of Special Delivery this book would be, but I was absolutely positive on the delivery of two things.
1) Smut! Filthy dirty, kinky sweaty flesh slapping smut so sinful the devil’s own succubae would pant for it.
2) A Happy ever after produced by Disney because Nickelodeon said it was too cheesy for them.
And I was right! Ms Cullinan delivers both …spectacularly! The sex is downright decadent! And the ending is a super colossal eye-roll of fluff-tastic. How Heidi manages to infuse so much filth with her emotional fluff amazes me. The dirty talk, the toys, the constant twitching and winking of Sam’s hole (ha!), Sam’s submission, dripping cocks, Mitch’s wicked fingers, the exhibitionism, voyeurism, the rimming …oh good lord there’s so much rimming, all seems to blend so sweetly with the emo stuff!
But to me, it’s all delicious smut devised to introduce Sam to his inner kinkster – and that’s just fine by me. He’s a horny boy and Mitch is a …well, I’m not sure what Mitch is: a sexy older guy that’s been around the block too many times? Another kinkster too afraid to make to get his feelings hurt or hurt someone else? I don’t know, Mitch wasn’t very memorable I’m afraid. I know he was a nice guy. A hot guy. Did I mention he had wicked fingers? Because I sure remember those pushing, pulling, dripping with …sorry I’m getting away from myself, so lets chat about Sam. Sam was a contrary bugger . A bit of a whinger at the beginning but he did grow on me. The more confident he became with himself and his sexuality, the more tolerable he became. He was a good vessel for me to live my fantasies through though – the guy just doesn’t say no! *grins*
There are two things over and above the sex that elevates my rating for this book. The road tripping! I LOVED travelling with Sam and Mitch in the big Blue lorry. That was awesome! The other thing I loved was Rampant Randy!! Ha! Yes! I loved what the greasy smarmy bastard brought to this book. The head games, the sexual angst, the whole OMG you–are-such-a-wanker-but–I’m-so-glad-you’re-here-to-liven-shit-up feeling, and for his contribution to the grand finale of course! No not the ending finale the OTHER one – lol.
Now I couldn’t help but compare this to Nowhere Ranch (the kinky Cowboy’s – yum! ) not that it has anything in common with plot lines but I wanted the same kind of sexual buzz – and I don’t mean the battery operated kind thankyouverymuch! I wanted to revel in the emotional aspect of the relationship as well as the driving lust like I did with Nowhere Ranch. I didn’t here. A few of us agree that these characters where a bit too overly characterised and I also feel that they are forgettable. The physical logistics of a few sex scenes mad me scratch my head over the probability but I’ll be sure to test it out the next time I’m up front in a lorry cab! Ha! And the last of the sex (namely the last three days) was too rushed, they should have met you-know-who MUCH earlier, built something more there. The I-love-you’s came a bit prematurely but then, it’s a Heidi Culllinan book and just like the eyerolly endings, it goes with the territory. Overall, I really liked this one, namely for the smut factor, but not as much as Nowhere Ranch.
For a 9 person joint review on this book with ratings that range from 2 stars to 4.5 Stars, check it out here.
I wasn’t sure what kind of Special Delivery this book would be, but I was absolutely positive on the delivery of two things.
1) Smut! Filthy dirty, kinky sweaty flesh slapping smut so sinful the devil’s own succubae would pant for it.
2) A Happy ever after produced by Disney because Nickelodeon said it was too cheesy for them.
And I was right! Ms Cullinan delivers both …spectacularly! The sex is downright decadent! And the ending is a super colossal eye-roll of fluff-tastic. How Heidi manages to infuse so much filth with her emotional fluff amazes me. The dirty talk, the toys, the constant twitching and winking of Sam’s hole (ha!), Sam’s submission, dripping cocks, Mitch’s wicked fingers, the exhibitionism, voyeurism, the rimming …oh good lord there’s so much rimming, all seems to blend so sweetly with the emo stuff!
But to me, it’s all delicious smut devised to introduce Sam to his inner kinkster – and that’s just fine by me. He’s a horny boy and Mitch is a …well, I’m not sure what Mitch is: a sexy older guy that’s been around the block too many times? Another kinkster too afraid to make to get his feelings hurt or hurt someone else? I don’t know, Mitch wasn’t very memorable I’m afraid. I know he was a nice guy. A hot guy. Did I mention he had wicked fingers? Because I sure remember those pushing, pulling, dripping with …sorry I’m getting away from myself, so lets chat about Sam. Sam was a contrary bugger . A bit of a whinger at the beginning but he did grow on me. The more confident he became with himself and his sexuality, the more tolerable he became. He was a good vessel for me to live my fantasies through though – the guy just doesn’t say no! *grins*
There are two things over and above the sex that elevates my rating for this book. The road tripping! I LOVED travelling with Sam and Mitch in the big Blue lorry. That was awesome! The other thing I loved was Rampant Randy!! Ha! Yes! I loved what the greasy smarmy bastard brought to this book. The head games, the sexual angst, the whole OMG you–are-such-a-wanker-but–I’m-so-glad-you’re-here-to-liven-shit-up feeling, and for his contribution to the grand finale of course! No not the ending finale the OTHER one – lol.
Now I couldn’t help but compare this to Nowhere Ranch (the kinky Cowboy’s – yum! ) not that it has anything in common with plot lines but I wanted the same kind of sexual buzz – and I don’t mean the battery operated kind thankyouverymuch! I wanted to revel in the emotional aspect of the relationship as well as the driving lust like I did with Nowhere Ranch. I didn’t here. A few of us agree that these characters where a bit too overly characterised and I also feel that they are forgettable. The physical logistics of a few sex scenes mad me scratch my head over the probability but I’ll be sure to test it out the next time I’m up front in a lorry cab! Ha! And the last of the sex (namely the last three days) was too rushed, they should have met you-know-who MUCH earlier, built something more there. The I-love-you’s came a bit prematurely but then, it’s a Heidi Culllinan book and just like the eyerolly endings, it goes with the territory. Overall, I really liked this one, namely for the smut factor, but not as much as Nowhere Ranch.
For a 9 person joint review on this book with ratings that range from 2 stars to 4.5 Stars, check it out here.
January 5, 2022
3.5 stars
I picked this book more or less as an experiment. Years ago, I put it categorically on my “no” shelf after I became aware of some content I generally avoid (), even though there were other things I was curious about, then time passed and it kept popping up in my feed whenever one of my friends read or reread it and many of them seemed to love it...and just as many were underwhelmed for the same reasons I was avoiding it.
In the meantime, I’ve happened to read and love books that on paper (AKA by simple content alone) I should’ve hated, so when the time was mature, I only needed a little push and hand-holding to decide I would give it a try someday.
What better time than the beginning of a new year to step outside my comfort zone? I'm pleased to report that the result was positive, all things considered.
I thought it would end up with 4 stars for most of the book and I’ve debated a long time with myself about rounding up, if nothing else because the didn’t make me want to throw my kindle at the wall, which for me is a huge accomplishment. In the end I settled on rounding down for different reasons, but for a book that had so much against it, the mere fact that I was conflicted is very telling.
I liked Sam's journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance a lot, even with some hiccups along the way. I enjoyed the first part of the story more than the last and, while that has something to do with Randy, I didn’t dislike him as much as I could have. I disliked the
Despite that, I didn’t mind the I liked how Sam and Mitch talked about it and made sure it was done in a way that worked for both of them, even though the talking wasn’t always their strongest point. Ironically, they seemed to have a much better communication about their kinks than about anything else. Mitch especially started to get on my nerves with his clamming up. He was the 33-year-old and yet Sam, at 21, seemed better equipped to understand that leaving crucial information unsaid could only lead to more problems. I didn’t much appreciate that that was the kind of thing that Mitch should’ve told him.
That was also the kind of thing that ruined the ending for me a little. This is far from a and especially because that’s the situation, I didn’t appreciate the role Randy kept having in
So, weirdly enough, what I thought would be my biggest problem with this story wasn’t. It’s sure that won’t ever made the list of my favorite elements in a romance and this kind of scenario will never be my go-to choice whenever I need to feel warm and fuzzy inside, but I’m glad I took a chance on this book. It’s always good to get to see things from a POV so wildly different from mine, to get a glimpse, however fictional and therefore unreliable, of what different people might want in a relationship.
Thanks again to my friend Tamara for reassuring me when I needed the final push to make up my mind about reading this book. You were right. 😘
I picked this book more or less as an experiment. Years ago, I put it categorically on my “no” shelf after I became aware of some content I generally avoid (), even though there were other things I was curious about, then time passed and it kept popping up in my feed whenever one of my friends read or reread it and many of them seemed to love it...and just as many were underwhelmed for the same reasons I was avoiding it.
In the meantime, I’ve happened to read and love books that on paper (AKA by simple content alone) I should’ve hated, so when the time was mature, I only needed a little push and hand-holding to decide I would give it a try someday.
What better time than the beginning of a new year to step outside my comfort zone? I'm pleased to report that the result was positive, all things considered.
I thought it would end up with 4 stars for most of the book and I’ve debated a long time with myself about rounding up, if nothing else because the didn’t make me want to throw my kindle at the wall, which for me is a huge accomplishment. In the end I settled on rounding down for different reasons, but for a book that had so much against it, the mere fact that I was conflicted is very telling.
I liked Sam's journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance a lot, even with some hiccups along the way. I enjoyed the first part of the story more than the last and, while that has something to do with Randy, I didn’t dislike him as much as I could have. I disliked the
Despite that, I didn’t mind the I liked how Sam and Mitch talked about it and made sure it was done in a way that worked for both of them, even though the talking wasn’t always their strongest point. Ironically, they seemed to have a much better communication about their kinks than about anything else. Mitch especially started to get on my nerves with his clamming up. He was the 33-year-old and yet Sam, at 21, seemed better equipped to understand that leaving crucial information unsaid could only lead to more problems. I didn’t much appreciate that that was the kind of thing that Mitch should’ve told him.
That was also the kind of thing that ruined the ending for me a little. This is far from a and especially because that’s the situation, I didn’t appreciate the role Randy kept having in
So, weirdly enough, what I thought would be my biggest problem with this story wasn’t. It’s sure that won’t ever made the list of my favorite elements in a romance and this kind of scenario will never be my go-to choice whenever I need to feel warm and fuzzy inside, but I’m glad I took a chance on this book. It’s always good to get to see things from a POV so wildly different from mine, to get a glimpse, however fictional and therefore unreliable, of what different people might want in a relationship.
Thanks again to my friend Tamara for reassuring me when I needed the final push to make up my mind about reading this book. You were right. 😘
February 5, 2014
Fumbled through old man Kindle and found I originally read this in late 2011. Just finished a reread with Sunny, Lori and Jenni Lea for the book tour and blog and I can honestly say I loved it even more the 2nd time around. The reread for perspective on Randy alone is totally worth it!
________________________________________________________________________________________
Reread thoughts after buddy reading and we ALL loved it, so much awesome!
When I first replaced the F in my MF with another M, Special Delivery was one of the first full length novels I read. What an initiation! “Come to Mama” I said, “I’m home”. The re-read on this one confirmed everything I remembered from the first go-around. Sam and Mitch are one of best, most meant to be together couples on the planet. The whole love story boils down to acceptance and watching both Sam and Mitch realize they could reconcile their secrets with real love made me melt for them all over again.
My favorite thing, and probably what I had the most fun with on the re-read is one of my all time favorite characters, Randy. I was completely intrigued with him the first read, but I didn’t really know what to DO with him. Special Delivery told me a lot, but there is so much more to him than what we see in this story and it was the ultimate tease. I read Double Blind right after reading Special Delivery and in re-reading this story I picked up a lot of subtleties about Randy and his words that I couldn’t appreciate the first time around. Randy really is Vegas and watching him play the game in Special Delivery (after learning his ways in Double Blind) was really fun.
I also appreciated his relationship, which is really very special, with Sam more on the re-read. I knew how important it would turn out to be so I paid attention to their conversations more and every word between them had more meaning. As much as I loved everything about Sam and Mitch, I think I loved when Randy said thank you to Sam even more for:
“Bringing Mitch here. He wouldn’t have come, otherwise. Or, if he had, he’d have ignored me again. You were our big do-over, and it’d be nice to think we got it right because we’re older and wiser, but we got it right because of you.” He picked up Sam’s hand and kissed it. “So, thank you for giving me back my best friend.”
Original Review:
I think this is probably still my favorite Heidi Cullinan book. It's a toss up between this and Nowhere Ranch. Even though I haven't re-read this one in a while (yep, I've read it a couple of times now), it just stuck with me.
On the surface, the story really sounds pretty simple and without reading it or knowing the authors writing, you would think, "ok, porno road trip", not that there is anything wrong with a porno road trip, that's just not what this book is.
It is so much more. Sure, it is steamy as all hell, but it is also a story about two men finding themselves and accepting themselves with the help of each other. Some parts made me a little squinchy, but they had to, it's what made the story honest and the characters real.
I wasn't sure how I felt about Randy the first time I read this, I wanted to dislike him, but I think that was just because he wanted me to. Read Double Blind after this one and the stories for all the main characters will come full circle.
________________________________________________________________________________________
Reread thoughts after buddy reading and we ALL loved it, so much awesome!
When I first replaced the F in my MF with another M, Special Delivery was one of the first full length novels I read. What an initiation! “Come to Mama” I said, “I’m home”. The re-read on this one confirmed everything I remembered from the first go-around. Sam and Mitch are one of best, most meant to be together couples on the planet. The whole love story boils down to acceptance and watching both Sam and Mitch realize they could reconcile their secrets with real love made me melt for them all over again.
My favorite thing, and probably what I had the most fun with on the re-read is one of my all time favorite characters, Randy. I was completely intrigued with him the first read, but I didn’t really know what to DO with him. Special Delivery told me a lot, but there is so much more to him than what we see in this story and it was the ultimate tease. I read Double Blind right after reading Special Delivery and in re-reading this story I picked up a lot of subtleties about Randy and his words that I couldn’t appreciate the first time around. Randy really is Vegas and watching him play the game in Special Delivery (after learning his ways in Double Blind) was really fun.
I also appreciated his relationship, which is really very special, with Sam more on the re-read. I knew how important it would turn out to be so I paid attention to their conversations more and every word between them had more meaning. As much as I loved everything about Sam and Mitch, I think I loved when Randy said thank you to Sam even more for:
“Bringing Mitch here. He wouldn’t have come, otherwise. Or, if he had, he’d have ignored me again. You were our big do-over, and it’d be nice to think we got it right because we’re older and wiser, but we got it right because of you.” He picked up Sam’s hand and kissed it. “So, thank you for giving me back my best friend.”
Original Review:
I think this is probably still my favorite Heidi Cullinan book. It's a toss up between this and Nowhere Ranch. Even though I haven't re-read this one in a while (yep, I've read it a couple of times now), it just stuck with me.
On the surface, the story really sounds pretty simple and without reading it or knowing the authors writing, you would think, "ok, porno road trip", not that there is anything wrong with a porno road trip, that's just not what this book is.
It is so much more. Sure, it is steamy as all hell, but it is also a story about two men finding themselves and accepting themselves with the help of each other. Some parts made me a little squinchy, but they had to, it's what made the story honest and the characters real.
I wasn't sure how I felt about Randy the first time I read this, I wanted to dislike him, but I think that was just because he wanted me to. Read Double Blind after this one and the stories for all the main characters will come full circle.
February 18, 2011
It was a pretty good book, which from me is saying a lot since i am not a fan of three-ways and i hate reading about open relationships, so for me to enjoy it enough to give it 4 stars, it says something. The writing is really good and I loved Sam and thought Mitch was ok.
The book was also like 20 times kinkier than my usual read and I'd like to be able to say I skipped the kinky sex scenes (which there were more then plenty of) but for some reason i couldn't help myself and read them all. I got confused by a lot of them honestly it seemed like they would be getting into positions i thought they were already in or they were doing stuff that just seemed impossible.
The book was also like 20 times kinkier than my usual read and I'd like to be able to say I skipped the kinky sex scenes (which there were more then plenty of) but for some reason i couldn't help myself and read them all. I got confused by a lot of them honestly it seemed like they would be getting into positions i thought they were already in or they were doing stuff that just seemed impossible.
March 25, 2016
I read the updated 2014 version. Not sure how that differs from the original, but holy cow, this book was fantastic!! I loved everything about it. Every. Thing. The cover, the story, the characters, the kink. All of it. I adore Sam and Mitch. Definitely one of my favorite couples! 5 stars!!!
January 24, 2014
Special Delivery hit all my buttons. It was sexy (to infinity). It was meaningful. It had depth and character growth. I adored the MCs. I loved the plot and originality of the story. I was captured by the writing and dialogue. It all fell into place and just clicked for me.
Though she's a fairly well-known writer in the genre, this was my first book by Heidi Cullinan, and I'm hooked. Her writing style is tailor-made for me: it's descriptive and poetic, but there's no purple prose. In Special Delivery, I felt like Sam and Mitch were headed somewhere, and I don't mean via one of Mitch's trucking routes, either!
Sam is this insecure young guy who has lost a lot in his life. He's down, but not out. He knows what he needs to do to get where he needs to go, but he's doing a lot of that on autopilot, because he thinks getting a degree and finding a job is what society requires. Sam’s insecure and doesn't have a solid support system outside of his best gal, Emma. In fact, his family situation is downright awful.
Enter Mitch, a sexy long haul trucker who's seen--and done--it all.
Fate steps in to take these two on a trip across the western U.S., but what their trip really turns into is an education in life, and self, for Sam and Mitch.
Along the way there's heart-stopping sexy time (yes, yes, yes!), and the duo briefly becomes a trio when Mitch's crazy past, in the form of Randy, catches up with them in Sin City.
Regarding Randy. Listen, threesomes aren't generally my thing. They never have been. But Randy fit in Special Delivery. I'll be honest: I wasn't in love with him at first. In fact, I didn't like him much at all. But I think his character was essential to moving Mitch and Sam--and the story--forward. Randy was Mitch's past, and the key to Sam's acceptance of who and what he is.
To address the issue of the pet names (because there's a lot of them in this book!) this was another surprise for me, because I actually enjoyed them! Ordinarily they grate, but I thought they actually added something in this case. Mitch calling Sam sweetheart? Well, it melted my heart.
Special Delivery left me feeling glow-y and breathless, and I'm happy I had the chance to read it. It'll probably be a reread for me at some point, I liked it that much.
4.5 stars, rounded up.
Though she's a fairly well-known writer in the genre, this was my first book by Heidi Cullinan, and I'm hooked. Her writing style is tailor-made for me: it's descriptive and poetic, but there's no purple prose. In Special Delivery, I felt like Sam and Mitch were headed somewhere, and I don't mean via one of Mitch's trucking routes, either!
Sam is this insecure young guy who has lost a lot in his life. He's down, but not out. He knows what he needs to do to get where he needs to go, but he's doing a lot of that on autopilot, because he thinks getting a degree and finding a job is what society requires. Sam’s insecure and doesn't have a solid support system outside of his best gal, Emma. In fact, his family situation is downright awful.
Enter Mitch, a sexy long haul trucker who's seen--and done--it all.
Fate steps in to take these two on a trip across the western U.S., but what their trip really turns into is an education in life, and self, for Sam and Mitch.
Along the way there's heart-stopping sexy time (yes, yes, yes!), and the duo briefly becomes a trio when Mitch's crazy past, in the form of Randy, catches up with them in Sin City.
Regarding Randy. Listen, threesomes aren't generally my thing. They never have been. But Randy fit in Special Delivery. I'll be honest: I wasn't in love with him at first. In fact, I didn't like him much at all. But I think his character was essential to moving Mitch and Sam--and the story--forward. Randy was Mitch's past, and the key to Sam's acceptance of who and what he is.
To address the issue of the pet names (because there's a lot of them in this book!) this was another surprise for me, because I actually enjoyed them! Ordinarily they grate, but I thought they actually added something in this case. Mitch calling Sam sweetheart? Well, it melted my heart.
Special Delivery left me feeling glow-y and breathless, and I'm happy I had the chance to read it. It'll probably be a reread for me at some point, I liked it that much.
4.5 stars, rounded up.
August 31, 2011
This is the story of Sam, a young man who has found that he likes kink and mild BDSM in his sex life, and has a hard time reconciling what he wants with how he thinks a good person should behave. He meets Mitch, a truck driver with a lot more experience and enough of a caring nature to help Sam explore his boundaries while encouraging him to feel good about himself and his needs. In many ways I loved this book, loved the two characters, and appreciated the added complexity of a MC who wants kink and three-ways while just learning how to deal with it all. I took off a star, though, for somewhat unsafe sexual practices. Mitch tells Sam he will keep him safe, but he encourages him to have unprotected oral sex (with swallowing), once with a complete stranger although Sam tops, and uses his semen as lube for Sam once, and maybe Mitch knows he and their friend Randy are clean, but the context of the story makes it unlikely. So when he says Sam is safe with him, there was this little nagging voice in my head that said "You hope." It took just a little of the shine off their relationship for me.
July 22, 2015
Sweet baby Jesus, it's like Cullinan was trying to make me choke on my feels. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Manipulated? Hell, yeah, but in the best way.
I fucking love this book. Can't really make it any plainer that that. Fucking love it. And it's weird because there were parts that should have made me hate it, but somehow they just made it all bizarrely better, and I kinda hate Cullinan for that, but I also love her so much for letting me live this story. Mitch and Sam are just so unbelievably screwed up and adorable and perversely perfect for each other. I'm not even sure what more to say. There's so much emotion here without crossing that line into Melodrama Valley, and the romance was perfectly sweet while not tipping over into saccharine.
The sex was pretty hot, too. Not boring. Um... Definitely not for pearl clutchers, but I doubt any of them are reading m/m romance, anyway.
I've always respected Cullinan's work even when I didn't particularly like the story. This book and Nowhere Ranch both blew me away.
I fucking love this book. Can't really make it any plainer that that. Fucking love it. And it's weird because there were parts that should have made me hate it, but somehow they just made it all bizarrely better, and I kinda hate Cullinan for that, but I also love her so much for letting me live this story. Mitch and Sam are just so unbelievably screwed up and adorable and perversely perfect for each other. I'm not even sure what more to say. There's so much emotion here without crossing that line into Melodrama Valley, and the romance was perfectly sweet while not tipping over into saccharine.
The sex was pretty hot, too. Not boring. Um... Definitely not for pearl clutchers, but I doubt any of them are reading m/m romance, anyway.
I've always respected Cullinan's work even when I didn't particularly like the story. This book and Nowhere Ranch both blew me away.
December 14, 2014
Ok. So. This book had issues for me, but most of them were minor with the exception of one: the nearly constant use of "slut" and "slutty" in describing the way he, Sam, felt for wanting and engaging in certain sexual activities. They were used in unnecessary judgment. Yep, I know this is supposedly how Sam saw himself, took it from Mitch and Randy, but he's wrong. That's all there is to it.
It's sort of rare for me to pass such a judgment on a character, they are who they are, not for me to judge, I take them as they come. For me, Sam is not a slut and that isn't actually what he meant, what he was trying to communicate about himself.
Innyway, with that out of the way, let's get on to the good stuff.
Sam as the narrator of this story is rather good and, along with Cullinan's excellent writing, makes for a rapid, well-paced read. The story overall is one of the better examinations of how one relationship begins and attempts to grow and build, and then how that falls into a menage a trois. It's not perfect but not falsely laden with angst, either.
Mitch still felt like an enigma to me as I neared the end. Speaking of which, the ending is awesome, I mean a-bazillion-points-won awesome, but it also felt like a bit of a case of making up for some of the flaws throughout.
Randy. I can't really call him an enigma, he was plain spoken about what he wanted, letting his actions do the clear communicating when words would not suffice. He was actually more honest about his past and his feelings each time talking with Sam than Mitch was with Sam. There needed to be more of him. I always learned something about him when he appeared and did his thing, especially his role in that ending.
I like that all of these characters stumbled, had to work for what they get from and share with each other. Despite all of them having plenty of reasons and opportunities, none of them gave up.
I know this will shock exactly no one but, yes, the sex, the touches, the need, the tenderness, it was all hot and messy and unique to these characters.
Kink is a big theme. Discovery and self-acceptance. Slaying emotional demons. Forgiveness.
Sometimes ya just gotta take a chance, follow those instincts.
This is a mixed bag for me, but more positive than not and I will definitely be moving on in the series.
A funny: I added this to my kindle over a year ago. Bout time, eh?? LOL
It's sort of rare for me to pass such a judgment on a character, they are who they are, not for me to judge, I take them as they come. For me, Sam is not a slut and that isn't actually what he meant, what he was trying to communicate about himself.
Innyway, with that out of the way, let's get on to the good stuff.
Sam as the narrator of this story is rather good and, along with Cullinan's excellent writing, makes for a rapid, well-paced read. The story overall is one of the better examinations of how one relationship begins and attempts to grow and build, and then how that falls into a menage a trois. It's not perfect but not falsely laden with angst, either.
Mitch still felt like an enigma to me as I neared the end. Speaking of which, the ending is awesome, I mean a-bazillion-points-won awesome, but it also felt like a bit of a case of making up for some of the flaws throughout.
Randy. I can't really call him an enigma, he was plain spoken about what he wanted, letting his actions do the clear communicating when words would not suffice. He was actually more honest about his past and his feelings each time talking with Sam than Mitch was with Sam. There needed to be more of him. I always learned something about him when he appeared and did his thing, especially his role in that ending.
I like that all of these characters stumbled, had to work for what they get from and share with each other. Despite all of them having plenty of reasons and opportunities, none of them gave up.
I know this will shock exactly no one but, yes, the sex, the touches, the need, the tenderness, it was all hot and messy and unique to these characters.
Kink is a big theme. Discovery and self-acceptance. Slaying emotional demons. Forgiveness.
Sometimes ya just gotta take a chance, follow those instincts.
This is a mixed bag for me, but more positive than not and I will definitely be moving on in the series.
A funny: I added this to my kindle over a year ago. Bout time, eh?? LOL
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