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400 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 23, 2018
He didn't feel worthy. And he was absolutely worthy. Not just of me, but of everything good this world had to offer him. Of love. Of Kindness. And I was going to make sure he knew that for good.
This was madness. This was sex without thought, without pause, without question. Letting desire drive and leaving reason and all sense behind. Fuck stopping to think. Fuck wondering, Should we? Could we? What if we did? We were just feeling. Feeling and letting it all happen. It was the most beautiful, chaotic thing I’d ever experienced.
“Let yourself feel that love, Sean,” she whispered. “Take it in. Let it fill you.”
I wanted Sean. I wanted to kiss him and touch him and God, head his voice more. I had gotten so little of it. I wanted to do everything with him...
"You deserve love and kindness because you put out those things, Sean. You deserve to feel wanted. I want you. I want you so much. Let yourself feel that...
I don’t remember the time between meeting you and loving you. I just know I love you and I can’t stop. That’s it.”
You put food in front of a starving man, he’s going to eat it. No matter if he thinks he deserves it or not. It was about survival. And Shayla was keeping me alive.
I wanna be yours,” I panted, watching her eyes dilate and blink wider as she took in what I was saying. “You at my back, stickin’ up for me, and there when I’m fuckin’ terrified…I wanna go to you and I want you tellin’ me I can. I wanna be yours, Shayla.”
This was madness. This was sex without thought, without pause, without question. Letting desire drive and leaving reason and all sense behind. Fuck stopping to think. Fuck wondering, Should we? Could we? What if we did? We were just feeling. Feeling and letting it all happen. It was the most beautiful, chaotic thing I’d ever experienced.
“Don’t stop talkin’. I like hearing’ you, Shayla. I always did. I gotta keep hearing’ you.” – Sean
“I want you to have all the love in the world, Sean. You deserve that. And I won’t stop until you get it.” – Shayla
You need to quit lookin’ at me like I’m worth lookin’ at. I’m not. I’m nobody. I’m nothin’ to nobody. A fuckin’ fuckup. Tell me to leave.”
He rushed out a breath. His eyes lost focus on the floor between us, then he whispered this time— he pleaded, “Tell me to leave, Shayla. Tell me I’m nothin’, so I can leave.”
“I still hear her telling me I’m nothin’, but I hear you, and you’re fuckin’ loud. I don’t know what I deserve anymore. I got my girls. I keep catchin’ breaks. I don’t fuckin’ get it. I just know I don’t wanna be nothin’.”
Tears filled his eyes again. “I’m so fuckin’ sick of bein’ nothin’, Shayla.”
“I wanna be yours,” I panted, watching her eyes dilate and blink wider as she took in what I was saying.
“You at my back, stickin’ up for me, and there when I’m fuckin’ terrified… I wanna go to you and I want you tellin’ me I can. I wanna be yours, Shayla.”
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“You deserve love and kindness because you put out those things, Sean. You deserve to feel wanted. I want you. I want you so much. Let yourself feel that.”
“How the fuck can I have my family when the woman I love more than my own fuckin’ life isn’t with me? You wanna explain that?”
"You deserve love and kindness because you put out those things, Sean. You deserve to feel wanted. I want you. I want you so much. Let yourself feel that...”
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