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Where Are the Customers' Yachts?: or A Good Hard Look at Wall Street
"Once I picked it up I did not put it down until I finished. . . . What Schwed has done is capture fully-in deceptively clean language-the lunacy at the heart of the investment business."
-- From the Foreword by Michael Lewis, Bestselling author of Liar's Poker ". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street."
-- Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post "How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."
-- Michael Bloomberg "It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former."
-- John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money , Financial Columnist, Time magazine Humorous and entertaining, this book exposes the folly and hypocrisy of Wall Street. The title refers to a story about a visitor to New York who admired the yachts of the bankers and brokers. Naively, he asked where all the customers' yachts were? Of course, none of the customers could afford yachts, even though they dutifully followed the advice of their bankers and brokers. Full of wise contrarian advice and offering a true look at the world of investing, in which brokers get rich while their customers go broke, this book continues to open the eyes of investors to the reality of Wall Street.
-- From the Foreword by Michael Lewis, Bestselling author of Liar's Poker ". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street."
-- Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post "How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."
-- Michael Bloomberg "It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former."
-- John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money , Financial Columnist, Time magazine Humorous and entertaining, this book exposes the folly and hypocrisy of Wall Street. The title refers to a story about a visitor to New York who admired the yachts of the bankers and brokers. Naively, he asked where all the customers' yachts were? Of course, none of the customers could afford yachts, even though they dutifully followed the advice of their bankers and brokers. Full of wise contrarian advice and offering a true look at the world of investing, in which brokers get rich while their customers go broke, this book continues to open the eyes of investors to the reality of Wall Street.
208 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1940
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 207 reviews
April 7, 2015
A very easy and pleasurable reading, highly recommended to everyone BEFORE starting investing their money ;) as for a former insider of the financial industry, the book proved to be really entertaining for me, with a good portion of irony and satire. I find it especially amusing that almost nothing has changed in the last 75 years (since the book was written in the 1940), however, this is, most likely, due to the fact that a biological machine, aka homo sapiens sapiens, is primarily lead by emotions (such as greed and fear).
April 3, 2012
Schwed covers some important ground in what may be one of the most important books ever written about Wall Street; the craziness of financial predictions, the desperate nature of stock brokers (today known as "financial advisors), the psychotic tendencies of the investing public, and capitalism - that old hag. While the faces behind Wall Street have changed, the lunacy remains. Anyone with more than $1 invested in the stock market should own this book. FULL DISCLOSURE: As a financial author myself, I'm jealous of the way Fred Schwed Jr. writes. His choice of words are simply unmatched.
January 13, 2016
If you want to read one book on investing / stock markets, take this. Although written 75 years ago, applies very well today. One of the few books on subject that is actually funny and entertaining yet still conveys valuable lessons.
January 19, 2015
Every now and then, it happens that some poor financially illiterate soul gets suckered into the world of speculation. Tempted by the wealth and the yachts of the bankers and the brokers, he sets out on his own quest for riches. One man seeing the same thing as this man (it's usually a man) famously asked the question we all ought to have asked:
Where are the customers' yachts?
Sadly, there is a lot of truth in that comment. "Wall Street", or financial services at large, are inventions made for making their customers rich, but what often happens is that all the wealth stays there. Sadly, the signs of this phenomenon are everywhere. This is something worthy of inspection and criticism - or satire, as the title suggests.
So why should you read something satirical on such a serious topic as investing? Maybe because we ought to ask ourselves whether investing really is all that deadly serious at all. Maybe we should treat it like everything else that we are good at - something that captures our interest and doesn't scare us. Maybe that could help us be more objective and analytic, rather than panic-driven and instinctive. Maybe then we would ask more, think more and get fooled less. And since most of us have a really hard time criticizing our own weaknesses, maybe we should look at someone else instead? I think that is one of the purposes with humor and satire - helping improve ourselves.
Schwed's classic book from 1940 has stood the test of time and still raises lots of questions like the one in the title. The book is by no means a manual for prospective investors, but more like an enjoyable account of all the financial folly that goes on around us. All the answers, comments and habits that just don't get questioned. Both from the customers and the people within the industry itself. It is especially funny to see that almost all of this folly, 73 years later, is still all around us (with the addition of some other new ones). That, if anything, is a lesson one might take away from this book.
It is a wonderfully funny, rather cynical read all the way through, something I think anyone can enjoy. The language is a bit old but not so hard to follow. It is a pretty short book, and so shall also this review be. I would recommend this book to anyone being at least a bit cynical about the Wall Street culture. Which should be pretty much anyone (both on the inside and on the outside).
Where are the customers' yachts?
Sadly, there is a lot of truth in that comment. "Wall Street", or financial services at large, are inventions made for making their customers rich, but what often happens is that all the wealth stays there. Sadly, the signs of this phenomenon are everywhere. This is something worthy of inspection and criticism - or satire, as the title suggests.
So why should you read something satirical on such a serious topic as investing? Maybe because we ought to ask ourselves whether investing really is all that deadly serious at all. Maybe we should treat it like everything else that we are good at - something that captures our interest and doesn't scare us. Maybe that could help us be more objective and analytic, rather than panic-driven and instinctive. Maybe then we would ask more, think more and get fooled less. And since most of us have a really hard time criticizing our own weaknesses, maybe we should look at someone else instead? I think that is one of the purposes with humor and satire - helping improve ourselves.
Schwed's classic book from 1940 has stood the test of time and still raises lots of questions like the one in the title. The book is by no means a manual for prospective investors, but more like an enjoyable account of all the financial folly that goes on around us. All the answers, comments and habits that just don't get questioned. Both from the customers and the people within the industry itself. It is especially funny to see that almost all of this folly, 73 years later, is still all around us (with the addition of some other new ones). That, if anything, is a lesson one might take away from this book.
It is a wonderfully funny, rather cynical read all the way through, something I think anyone can enjoy. The language is a bit old but not so hard to follow. It is a pretty short book, and so shall also this review be. I would recommend this book to anyone being at least a bit cynical about the Wall Street culture. Which should be pretty much anyone (both on the inside and on the outside).
May 4, 2016
It's an insightful and witty read as promised.
The probe into the wall street operations forces you to rethink "passion" for the financial markets. On the pessimistic note, the win-loss situation turns to be coin flips. No speculators will beat the market forever. Market is naturally unpredictable as weather appears. Experts such as, statisticians, partners or even thinkers offer ostentatious profundity, sometimes even self-deceiving.
Now you wonder the ever-glowing heat of quants in the financial markets, computer engineers of the trading systems, and the fawning salaries of business analysts across the industries. Sometimes I really hope Schwed's wrong. With this realistic outlook on those career paths, I'd hardly convince myself to enter those golden-cow farms.
"Speculator's actions are prompted by tape reading, chart reading, statistical analysis, inside information, trading instincts" Another gloomy note that most of my acquaintances fall into this category.
The probe into the wall street operations forces you to rethink "passion" for the financial markets. On the pessimistic note, the win-loss situation turns to be coin flips. No speculators will beat the market forever. Market is naturally unpredictable as weather appears. Experts such as, statisticians, partners or even thinkers offer ostentatious profundity, sometimes even self-deceiving.
Now you wonder the ever-glowing heat of quants in the financial markets, computer engineers of the trading systems, and the fawning salaries of business analysts across the industries. Sometimes I really hope Schwed's wrong. With this realistic outlook on those career paths, I'd hardly convince myself to enter those golden-cow farms.
"Speculator's actions are prompted by tape reading, chart reading, statistical analysis, inside information, trading instincts" Another gloomy note that most of my acquaintances fall into this category.
May 9, 2015
Good book. Seems simple at first but by the end you catch onto the subtle truths underneath the dry wit.
February 15, 2024
A fun little book on wall Street, mildly humerous and short
June 28, 2020
Where Are the Customer’s Yachts? by Fred Schwed Jr. is a classic book and an amusing take on investing which exposes the investment industry for what it is and offers some contrarian advice on how to invest money.
A few points worth noting:
• If you are not a skeptic, you are not an investor.
• One can’t say figures lie. But the numbers used in financial statements could be fiction.
• Bankers lack the ability to do nothing. They crave action.
• The individual investor is still located at the very bottom of the food chain.
• The full impact of losing money cannot be conveyed by words. One has to lose money to understand what a loss is.
• The average investor is incapable of handling his own finances and has high chances of getting duped.
• Speculation is an effort, probably unsuccessful, to turn a little money into a lot.
• Investment is an effort, which should be successful, to prevent a lot of money from becoming a little.
• When the market is skyrocketing, and everyone is scrambling for stocks, take all your stocks and sell them. Take the proceeds and buy conservative bonds. When the bears come to the market, sell out the bonds and buy back the stocks.
A few points worth noting:
• If you are not a skeptic, you are not an investor.
• One can’t say figures lie. But the numbers used in financial statements could be fiction.
• Bankers lack the ability to do nothing. They crave action.
• The individual investor is still located at the very bottom of the food chain.
• The full impact of losing money cannot be conveyed by words. One has to lose money to understand what a loss is.
• The average investor is incapable of handling his own finances and has high chances of getting duped.
• Speculation is an effort, probably unsuccessful, to turn a little money into a lot.
• Investment is an effort, which should be successful, to prevent a lot of money from becoming a little.
• When the market is skyrocketing, and everyone is scrambling for stocks, take all your stocks and sell them. Take the proceeds and buy conservative bonds. When the bears come to the market, sell out the bonds and buy back the stocks.
August 13, 2015
I heard about this little book in Alice's Schroeder The Snowball: Warren Buffet and the business of life. As many others reviewers have said before me it is indeed funny to think that now in 2015 when I read this book at the age of 32 it is as relevant as it was when it was first written back in 1940. Good reminder that in whatever has to do with money, the lunacy remains and history repeat itself. In the words of Peter Lynch, "if the only reason you can give when buying a stock is that the sucker is going up then probably you are not on the path to investing success" lol. Main takeaways on wall street and investing: avoid speculation, avoid leverage, avoid following the herd. If you don't you'll end up doing nothing but making your broker happy.
July 28, 2014
Very funny. Old-style humor, probably will go over the head of most modern day readers. Some of it is pretty oblique. His insights are as fresh as ever, and now most new "experts" on the matter (e.g. Kahneman or Michael Lewis) don't feel at all original. Nothing has changed on Wall Street, it's still a casino.
August 16, 2017
Not too useful for someone who already doesn't think highly of wall street (and people in general)
December 23, 2018
I have no idea why someone would ever read it. 170pages of crying how evil wall street is.
March 14, 2016
All time investment classic.
August 27, 2024
Quotes:
Once again, a bull market had roared so far up, so fast, that money had decayed into a “minor convenience”
At the close of the days business they take all the money and throw it up into the air. Everything that sticks to the ceiling belongs to the clients.
Those who do know, don’t tell all they know, or don’t permit themselves to believe all that they know
It is as though someone had invented an Esperanto for saying nothing in a variety of ways
Now if you do someone the signal honour of asking him a difficult question, you may be assured that you will get a detailed answer. Rarely will it be the most difficult and all answers - “I don’t know”.
The average male likes to sit at breakfast and tell his wife and children what Adolf Hitler is going to do month after next. This is a harmless vanity. But from this is an easy step for him to go downtown and start telling people what United States Steel is going to do month after next. That is liable to lose someone’s life savings for him.
The truly conservative banker reminds me a little of what I once heard one doctor say of another: “He doesn’t know enough medicine to do a patient any harm.”
Like most Wall Streeters, bankers suffer from the inability to do nothing.
The type of customer who habitually sits in a board room is frequently just a gent who loves to chat in masculine company but who doesn’t belong to a club
Here is an idea. Why don’t you kids paste a little strip of paper inside the zippers? Then you could find out whether he ever opens those brief cases.
There are certain things that cannot be adequately explained to a virgin either by words or pictures
To a customer suffering from rhinophobia, having a sizeable cash balance in an account for any length of time is unbearable. Suppose stocks should go way up? They would be left high and dry with nothing but some dirty old money.
Before 1929, no one objected to short sellers except their own families. The families objected to going bankrupt.
Watching is apparently more effective on kettles than on securities
So long as they can attune their material needs and their social dignity to that income they can retain that reasonable safety.
But perhaps the time comes when the family feels they can no longer hold their heads up on the block unless little Paula goes to a fashionable finishing school
Once again, a bull market had roared so far up, so fast, that money had decayed into a “minor convenience”
At the close of the days business they take all the money and throw it up into the air. Everything that sticks to the ceiling belongs to the clients.
Those who do know, don’t tell all they know, or don’t permit themselves to believe all that they know
It is as though someone had invented an Esperanto for saying nothing in a variety of ways
Now if you do someone the signal honour of asking him a difficult question, you may be assured that you will get a detailed answer. Rarely will it be the most difficult and all answers - “I don’t know”.
The average male likes to sit at breakfast and tell his wife and children what Adolf Hitler is going to do month after next. This is a harmless vanity. But from this is an easy step for him to go downtown and start telling people what United States Steel is going to do month after next. That is liable to lose someone’s life savings for him.
The truly conservative banker reminds me a little of what I once heard one doctor say of another: “He doesn’t know enough medicine to do a patient any harm.”
Like most Wall Streeters, bankers suffer from the inability to do nothing.
The type of customer who habitually sits in a board room is frequently just a gent who loves to chat in masculine company but who doesn’t belong to a club
Here is an idea. Why don’t you kids paste a little strip of paper inside the zippers? Then you could find out whether he ever opens those brief cases.
There are certain things that cannot be adequately explained to a virgin either by words or pictures
To a customer suffering from rhinophobia, having a sizeable cash balance in an account for any length of time is unbearable. Suppose stocks should go way up? They would be left high and dry with nothing but some dirty old money.
Before 1929, no one objected to short sellers except their own families. The families objected to going bankrupt.
Watching is apparently more effective on kettles than on securities
So long as they can attune their material needs and their social dignity to that income they can retain that reasonable safety.
But perhaps the time comes when the family feels they can no longer hold their heads up on the block unless little Paula goes to a fashionable finishing school
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 28, 2019
This is an older book, written in the 40's I think, but is still relevant today. What was enlightening was that many of the things that bother us about Wall Street today are the same things people were worrying about 80 years ago. No better, no worse, people are people after all. I think it's a hard thing to be that close to that much money and maintain a healthy perspective. Time has proven that. Fortunately, instead of stockbrokers cold calling us today we have mutual funds, fiduciaries, 401K's and IRA's, and brokerage houses where you can control your own trading. These are all advancements that have helped a bunch. I enjoyed this book and I'm glad I'm not trying to prepare for retirement in that era. 3.5 stars.
July 18, 2019
Simple ideas and concepts of investing have been summarised very well.
Chapter 44 (STOCK MARKET NEWSLETTERS) which describes about how people are constantly looking for Buy & Sell recommendations and how it keeps going News letter/ Tip service industry - is a must read. The whole Tip service industry has been explained in most hilarious way.
Chapter 47 (SOME IMPORTANT BASICS), emphasises on 3 important basics viz. compounding, rule of 72 and inflation adjusted returns - is a must read as well.
Chapter 44 (STOCK MARKET NEWSLETTERS) which describes about how people are constantly looking for Buy & Sell recommendations and how it keeps going News letter/ Tip service industry - is a must read. The whole Tip service industry has been explained in most hilarious way.
Chapter 47 (SOME IMPORTANT BASICS), emphasises on 3 important basics viz. compounding, rule of 72 and inflation adjusted returns - is a must read as well.
November 14, 2023
I listened to this on audible because Warren Buffet listed this as one of the most important books he ever read which is a good enough recommendation for me.
It's free on audible for members and very good.
Written in 1940 the advice and information is still relevant today which is pretty amazing.
It's free on audible for members and very good.
Written in 1940 the advice and information is still relevant today which is pretty amazing.
May 20, 2021
I was not expecting a book written about the stock market over 80 years ago to be just as funny and relevant today as it was then, but it absolutely is. It probably doesn't say anything good about human nature that it is still so pertinent. I highly recommend this book to anyone, particularly before reading any other books on the subject.
October 8, 2024
The humor makes you forget how depressing it is that nothing has changed in 80 years
August 17, 2021
A homurous well aged hard look at the stupidity in what gamblers and shortsighted moralless opportunists call the industry of Investing.
June 21, 2024
A real investing classic, worth the read for anyone working in investing or the broader financial services community. Written in 1940 but over 80 years later it hasn’t lost an ounce of relevance.
July 2, 2024
Light and humorous about the inner workings of Wall Street. Laughed out loud several times.
January 8, 2023
The book is full of irony about the Wallstreet buzz and “investors” who seek quick profits without wanting to put any effort fo analyze and think independently. The key take away is that there is nothing new in Wallstreet no mattwr which epoch or decade you take - boom and bust cycle is the same and with it comes emotions fear and greed which usaualy leads “investors” decision making
P.s. The humour somehow reminded me J. Jerome book “Three men in a boat”
P.s. The humour somehow reminded me J. Jerome book “Three men in a boat”
May 25, 2019
A very easy read highlighting some of the absurdities of Wall Street and 'investing' through short examples. A fun in-between read for anyone looking for a nice pick-me-up on investing, finance, and on the allure of Wall Street.
September 6, 2021
A humourous, straightforward, blunt observation of wall street.
August 19, 2024
A quick fun read about Wall Street. Most probably you won't learn anything new but will have a good laugh 😀
November 24, 2019
A fine re-issue of a quirky, funny and brutalizing book. First published in 1940, the shadows of both war and the Great Depression darken the text. But the humour - including the sexist humour we would expect of this time - is an effective propulsion for the argument.
What makes it important after all these years is the scale of the irrationality, unpredictability, ignorance and foolishness that Schwed locates in the financial system. He logs a catalogue of silly behaviours and stupid decisions.
The message of the book is a powerful one. Wall Street focuses on the next minute, the next hour, this day. For customers to own yachts, long term decisions are required that are careful and cautious. Also - as Schwed acknowledges - to make money is is necessary to have in the first place, through family wealth, or marrying into it. Making a good living? It was tough when Schwed wrote his book. It is tough now. But Wall Street continues to think about the next minute, the next hour, this day.
What makes it important after all these years is the scale of the irrationality, unpredictability, ignorance and foolishness that Schwed locates in the financial system. He logs a catalogue of silly behaviours and stupid decisions.
The message of the book is a powerful one. Wall Street focuses on the next minute, the next hour, this day. For customers to own yachts, long term decisions are required that are careful and cautious. Also - as Schwed acknowledges - to make money is is necessary to have in the first place, through family wealth, or marrying into it. Making a good living? It was tough when Schwed wrote his book. It is tough now. But Wall Street continues to think about the next minute, the next hour, this day.
September 22, 2015
Where Are the Customers' Yachts? is a critical....and hilarious....review of Wall Street. Like any industry, there are competents and inepts; those with integrity and the dishonest; folks who are out to serve their customers and those that are out for themselves. However, it is possible that Wall Street has more than its fair share of the negatives, given the belief that big money is attainable without the years of study or the incredibly hard work that is required of any successful professional. Mr. Schwed goes right for the soft spots of Wall St. The book is so funny because everyone knows that what he speaks the truth....but the patterns and practices and incompetence continue anyway. A must read for any investment or portfolio professional....even if it only helps with the cocktail discussions.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 207 reviews