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Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection
John T. Cacioppo’s groundbreaking research topples one of the pillars of modern medicine and psychology: the focus on the individual as the unit of inquiry. By employing brain scans, monitoring blood pressure, and analyzing immune function, he demonstrates the overpowering influence of social context—a factor so strong that it can alter DNA replication. He defines an unrecognized syndrome—chronic loneliness—brings it out of the shadow of its cousin depression, and shows how this subjective sense of social isolation uniquely disrupts our perceptions, behavior, and physiology, becoming a trap that not only reinforces isolation but can also lead to early death. He gives the lie to the Hobbesian view of human nature as a “war of all against all,” and he shows how social cooperation is, in fact, humanity’s defining characteristic. Most important, he shows how we can break the trap of isolation for our benefit both as individuals and as a society.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2008
About the author
John T. Cacioppo
36 books62 followersJohn T. Cacioppo was the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor of Psychology and of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience, and Director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience, University of Chicago.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 233 reviews
October 22, 2017
Full disclosure. I never feel lonely. I love being alone. I'm alone right now. It rules. As a serious self realizer/homebody/introvert my dander goes up when psychologists (or anyone else) challenge my need for quality alone time. I don't give a fuck what anyone says. I need it. I suffer tremendously when I don't have it. Fuck all y'all.
That being said, I found this book to be very helpful and informative. One of the best, most eye opening books on human motivation and well being I have read in a long time.
First off, the author distinguishes between loneliness and solitude. The author clearly acknowledges that solitude (introspective/restorative alone time) is health ya . But he challenges people who underestimate their own need for social contact i.e. people who think they need alone time, but are actually avoiding the anxieties and inconveniences of social life at their own expense.
Additionally, the author distinguishes between being with people and feeling lonely. They are two totally different things. In other words, it's common to feel alone in a crowd, or even with people you love. And the antidote to loneliness isn't necessarily being around or with others.
O.K. all you fellow introverts, still on board? Than read on.
The central arguments of the book are:
1. People evolved to survive in cooperative groups.
2. Being socially isolated has deleterious health ramifications.
3. Being socially isolated can be a self perpetuating downward spiral.
4. Studying "the individual in isolation" is insufficient for understanding human thoughts, feelings, behaviors and general well being.
Standard research paradigms (e.g. fMRI and other contemporary neuroscience measures, as well as well as most standard psychological measures) assume that in order to get at the "truth" of human brain function and behavior, you have to remove subjects from the social and environmental context.
Simply put, if we only study individuals in isolation, we will miss lots of important stuff that could be helpful if we want to A) understand why people do the crazy shit they do, B) be less fucked up, and C) help other people be less fucked up.
Our culture values individualism, autonomy and self determination. These values have lead to remarkable increases in standard of living for the average person. But the emphasis on the individual comes at price. Simply put. Lots of people in our culture feel lonely, socially isolated and out of relationship.
As it turns out, loneliness (not necessarily being alone, but feeling alone) is pretty bad for a person. Loneliness elevates stress hormone production (cortisol), leading to a litany of serious health problems.
Loneliness can be a self perpetuating trap. Loneliness impairs executive function making self directed behavioral change difficult.
Simply being around people, even people you love, doesn't always alleviate feelings of loneliness. In fact, it can make it worse by obfuscating the real issue (what is the real issue you ask? Keep reading I say).
NOTE: This is not a self help book and the author is not a clinical psychologist. He's a research psychologist. Really different things. But he does offer some advice to those who suffer from feelings of loneliness.
According to the author, feeling lonely may be more about a general sense of purposelessness and lack of meaning than actual lack of human contact. Feeling lonely may actually be about not feeling truly useful to others in a meaningful way.
Escaping the downward spiral of loneliness may involve a somewhat counterintuitive leap of faith. According to the author, the number one antidote to feeling lonely is being of genuine service to others in a way that is healthy and meaningful for everyone involved.
That's right. Real well being (for humans) is not about simply being around other people. It's about being and feeling important to other people. Being integrally important to something "larger than ones self".
As a therapist, I hear a very standard rebuttal to this type of advice. "I can't help other people until I feel better about myself". It makes a lot of sense. And it's true. You have to have something to offer before you can help. And yes, some people avoid their own problems by focusing on other peoples problems. It's a bit of a chicken or an egg thing. But the truth remains, that until you're truly useful to someone else, you may feel pretty fuckin bad.
Being of service can start small. One step at a time. Doing someone a small favor at work. What ever. But according to the author, it's absolutely essential to real well being. And I have to agree. Read this book. And if you're lonely (and even if your not), take the advice. It's a pretty safe bet you (and hopefully someone else) will be glad you did.
That being said, I found this book to be very helpful and informative. One of the best, most eye opening books on human motivation and well being I have read in a long time.
First off, the author distinguishes between loneliness and solitude. The author clearly acknowledges that solitude (introspective/restorative alone time) is health ya . But he challenges people who underestimate their own need for social contact i.e. people who think they need alone time, but are actually avoiding the anxieties and inconveniences of social life at their own expense.
Additionally, the author distinguishes between being with people and feeling lonely. They are two totally different things. In other words, it's common to feel alone in a crowd, or even with people you love. And the antidote to loneliness isn't necessarily being around or with others.
O.K. all you fellow introverts, still on board? Than read on.
The central arguments of the book are:
1. People evolved to survive in cooperative groups.
2. Being socially isolated has deleterious health ramifications.
3. Being socially isolated can be a self perpetuating downward spiral.
4. Studying "the individual in isolation" is insufficient for understanding human thoughts, feelings, behaviors and general well being.
Standard research paradigms (e.g. fMRI and other contemporary neuroscience measures, as well as well as most standard psychological measures) assume that in order to get at the "truth" of human brain function and behavior, you have to remove subjects from the social and environmental context.
Simply put, if we only study individuals in isolation, we will miss lots of important stuff that could be helpful if we want to A) understand why people do the crazy shit they do, B) be less fucked up, and C) help other people be less fucked up.
Our culture values individualism, autonomy and self determination. These values have lead to remarkable increases in standard of living for the average person. But the emphasis on the individual comes at price. Simply put. Lots of people in our culture feel lonely, socially isolated and out of relationship.
As it turns out, loneliness (not necessarily being alone, but feeling alone) is pretty bad for a person. Loneliness elevates stress hormone production (cortisol), leading to a litany of serious health problems.
Loneliness can be a self perpetuating trap. Loneliness impairs executive function making self directed behavioral change difficult.
Simply being around people, even people you love, doesn't always alleviate feelings of loneliness. In fact, it can make it worse by obfuscating the real issue (what is the real issue you ask? Keep reading I say).
NOTE: This is not a self help book and the author is not a clinical psychologist. He's a research psychologist. Really different things. But he does offer some advice to those who suffer from feelings of loneliness.
According to the author, feeling lonely may be more about a general sense of purposelessness and lack of meaning than actual lack of human contact. Feeling lonely may actually be about not feeling truly useful to others in a meaningful way.
Escaping the downward spiral of loneliness may involve a somewhat counterintuitive leap of faith. According to the author, the number one antidote to feeling lonely is being of genuine service to others in a way that is healthy and meaningful for everyone involved.
That's right. Real well being (for humans) is not about simply being around other people. It's about being and feeling important to other people. Being integrally important to something "larger than ones self".
As a therapist, I hear a very standard rebuttal to this type of advice. "I can't help other people until I feel better about myself". It makes a lot of sense. And it's true. You have to have something to offer before you can help. And yes, some people avoid their own problems by focusing on other peoples problems. It's a bit of a chicken or an egg thing. But the truth remains, that until you're truly useful to someone else, you may feel pretty fuckin bad.
Being of service can start small. One step at a time. Doing someone a small favor at work. What ever. But according to the author, it's absolutely essential to real well being. And I have to agree. Read this book. And if you're lonely (and even if your not), take the advice. It's a pretty safe bet you (and hopefully someone else) will be glad you did.
January 12, 2023
O analiza a singuratatii din punct de vedere biologic, psihologic si sociologic. O carte complexa.
December 28, 2010
Full Disclosure: I am an introvert. Full fledged introvert. I have a general disdain for the part of the ego that desires acceptance from other people. I feel a need to rebel and quiet that part of the self. And like most introverts, I do not equate being alone with loneliness. I also have what Ainsworth calls a non-attached attachment type.
I do however do not wish to succumb to the extreme of my personality type. I wanted to make sure I was not being obstinately clinging to my introverted inclinations to the detriment of my well being. I wanted to make sure I was still the turtle who found the inside of his shell cozy and not some critter crushed under a rock of isolation.
Having read this I have had to reconsider the causes of my recent inability to concentrate. I had suspected low testosterone and/or TSH levels, but now I would prudent to add my not so social introverted inclinations to the list of possible culprits. In which case, can someone give me a hug?
Anyway, Cacioppo and Patrick postulate that loneliness has several detrimental effects. These things not only affect us on the psychological on social levels but also physiologically. It has a positive correlation to cardiac problems and impairs executive functions of the brain among other things.
It reminded me a lot of Peggy La Cerra's "The Origin Of Minds." In it she mentioned that depression is an adaptive behavior which makes us slow down and asses the situation. (Of course the authors propose that loneliness be treated as a separate psychological disorder itself and not a symptom of, say, depression as we often think.) In this sense, loneliness is much like a fever, a response to a negative situation but, due to it's positive feedback properties, becomes problematic when left to it's own devices.
The authors largely draw upon the branches of social and evolutionary psychology, more of the latter really, to, I think, a fault. About 2/3 of the 2nd part and much of the first part of the last segment, they discussed chimpanzee and bonobo behavior. Though it is interesting to a degree, I fail to see how bonobos rubbing crotches to greet each other has relative use to us humans. Indeed, at several portions of the book, I had qualms on how the comparisons between our cousins were being made. I mean, sure we share 98 percent of our DNA, but we are clearly very different from them. There's only so far you can take such observations. The slippery slope argument of course is that we fall into a Mein Kampf kind of rhetoric. (OMG. I sound like Glenn Beck.) Perhaps I was just projecting my expectations of the book.
I am going to have to read this again when I become more learned in this corner of the science. Meanwhile, can someone please give me a hug already? =P
I do however do not wish to succumb to the extreme of my personality type. I wanted to make sure I was not being obstinately clinging to my introverted inclinations to the detriment of my well being. I wanted to make sure I was still the turtle who found the inside of his shell cozy and not some critter crushed under a rock of isolation.
Having read this I have had to reconsider the causes of my recent inability to concentrate. I had suspected low testosterone and/or TSH levels, but now I would prudent to add my not so social introverted inclinations to the list of possible culprits. In which case, can someone give me a hug?
Anyway, Cacioppo and Patrick postulate that loneliness has several detrimental effects. These things not only affect us on the psychological on social levels but also physiologically. It has a positive correlation to cardiac problems and impairs executive functions of the brain among other things.
It reminded me a lot of Peggy La Cerra's "The Origin Of Minds." In it she mentioned that depression is an adaptive behavior which makes us slow down and asses the situation. (Of course the authors propose that loneliness be treated as a separate psychological disorder itself and not a symptom of, say, depression as we often think.) In this sense, loneliness is much like a fever, a response to a negative situation but, due to it's positive feedback properties, becomes problematic when left to it's own devices.
The authors largely draw upon the branches of social and evolutionary psychology, more of the latter really, to, I think, a fault. About 2/3 of the 2nd part and much of the first part of the last segment, they discussed chimpanzee and bonobo behavior. Though it is interesting to a degree, I fail to see how bonobos rubbing crotches to greet each other has relative use to us humans. Indeed, at several portions of the book, I had qualms on how the comparisons between our cousins were being made. I mean, sure we share 98 percent of our DNA, but we are clearly very different from them. There's only so far you can take such observations. The slippery slope argument of course is that we fall into a Mein Kampf kind of rhetoric. (OMG. I sound like Glenn Beck.) Perhaps I was just projecting my expectations of the book.
I am going to have to read this again when I become more learned in this corner of the science. Meanwhile, can someone please give me a hug already? =P
June 23, 2009
I just concluded reading this book. Bottom line: human beings are designed to seek meaningful (keyword here is meaningful) relationships. It's no wonder that studies of regular church-goers show they live longer than their counterparts- the more they are united by a common idea and maintain a healthy relationship between each other in a meaningful manner, the more their physiologies are encapsulated from stresses and wear and tear of loneliness. I recommend this book.
Also, interesting to note from the book:
What counts for happy well adjusted individuals? The studies in this book reveal the following factors:
1) Social connections - less lonely individuals reported being happier than their lonelier counterparts (no surprise here)
2) Household income - this is associated with happiness, but higher income does not increase levels of happiness. Interestingly enough higher levels of happiness predicted a stronger potential for higher income in the near future.
3) Age - people actually get happier as they grow older. This has to do with the aging of the brain's amygdale that regulates the emotional responses and as a result older people just don't get too worked up about what may be otherwise stressful condition, resulting in less stress over the little things. Additionally, knowing that they have less time on earth causes older people to focus more on the more important things of life - like building the social connections with other.
Quite fascinating read.
Also, interesting to note from the book:
What counts for happy well adjusted individuals? The studies in this book reveal the following factors:
1) Social connections - less lonely individuals reported being happier than their lonelier counterparts (no surprise here)
2) Household income - this is associated with happiness, but higher income does not increase levels of happiness. Interestingly enough higher levels of happiness predicted a stronger potential for higher income in the near future.
3) Age - people actually get happier as they grow older. This has to do with the aging of the brain's amygdale that regulates the emotional responses and as a result older people just don't get too worked up about what may be otherwise stressful condition, resulting in less stress over the little things. Additionally, knowing that they have less time on earth causes older people to focus more on the more important things of life - like building the social connections with other.
Quite fascinating read.
Read
May 12, 2010This is the first book I've read in a long time that has pretty radically rearranged the way I think about a lot of things.
I came across it while reading through all the U.S. Psychology department labs; it's written by head of the dept at U. Chicago. It's awesome to read a (readable) cognitive book actually written by one of the lead researchers, instead of just technical papers or pop books by someone else, or even pop books by researchers on topics they're not involved in directly. I appreciate the expertise and the citations.
I have a couple of critical comments, which include that they (there is a co-author) draw analogies to things they don't necessarily know about (one about sea turtles laying "thousands" of eggs comes to mind. That one is relatively harmless although iirc it voided the analogy, but some are not AS harmless), so I generally ignore those. It's mildly irritating but I'm not reading it for the analogies.
My other criticism (so far) is that I'm nearing the end and they're starting to over-generalize willy nilly in a sort of "summing things up" mode, and that I'm afraid I ignore too. However it's been very good and I hope I can find more psychology books like this (i.e. readable but by the lead researcher) when I get interested in other topics. I've been reading it super slowly because it gives me a lot to think about but I'll finish what I think when I'm actually done. :)
UPDATE: Now that I've finished it, I agree with what I said still, and the recommendations sort-of chapter at the end was more minimal than I hoped but still good, and I overall thought this was an excellent book.
Bonus points for the clever & elegant cover.
Lauren: this is where I learned the Darwin tidbit.
I came across it while reading through all the U.S. Psychology department labs; it's written by head of the dept at U. Chicago. It's awesome to read a (readable) cognitive book actually written by one of the lead researchers, instead of just technical papers or pop books by someone else, or even pop books by researchers on topics they're not involved in directly. I appreciate the expertise and the citations.
I have a couple of critical comments, which include that they (there is a co-author) draw analogies to things they don't necessarily know about (one about sea turtles laying "thousands" of eggs comes to mind. That one is relatively harmless although iirc it voided the analogy, but some are not AS harmless), so I generally ignore those. It's mildly irritating but I'm not reading it for the analogies.
My other criticism (so far) is that I'm nearing the end and they're starting to over-generalize willy nilly in a sort of "summing things up" mode, and that I'm afraid I ignore too. However it's been very good and I hope I can find more psychology books like this (i.e. readable but by the lead researcher) when I get interested in other topics. I've been reading it super slowly because it gives me a lot to think about but I'll finish what I think when I'm actually done. :)
UPDATE: Now that I've finished it, I agree with what I said still, and the recommendations sort-of chapter at the end was more minimal than I hoped but still good, and I overall thought this was an excellent book.
Bonus points for the clever & elegant cover.
Lauren: this is where I learned the Darwin tidbit.
February 7, 2020
Even if you don't think of yourself as lonely, you may still find this engagingly written, scientific book to be of interest. This book is not so much about the painful emotion of loneliness. It's really about sufficient and insufficient meaningful social connection.
We each have different forms and degrees of social needs. But virtually all of us have those social needs built deeply into our bodies, as we evolved a long time ago as social animals, dependent on cooperation for our survival. When those social needs aren't being met, it produces subtle physical and cognitive distress. This distress adds up over time, which shows up in decreased health and life expectancy. It also shapes the way our minds work, so that we not only become more pessimistic about others, but we also have trouble reading others well, all of which usually adds to social isolation over time.
America has always placed great value on the trait of independence. In this day and age, with nuclear families, everyone moving around to different places, and the spread of 'stranger danger,' circumstances tend to break social connections even more than in the past. Isolation has become an ever increasing vicious cycle. Even for those with strong social instincts, sometimes developing, maintaining, and refreshing a healthy social circle becomes like swimming against the tide, doesn't it? With our American mentalities, we usually suck it up, manage our emotions to keep 'loneliness' at bay, and try to make the new normal work for us. But even if we succeed for the most part, the message of this book is this: Your individual social needs are physical needs, you need meaningful social connection just like you need a certain amount of healthy food and good exercise. And if you're not getting those needs met, you'll need to outsmart the subtle emotional and cognitive impairments that come from that distress, in order to develop more meaningful social connections.
Unfortunately, the book offers no real solutions, which I was expecting at the end. (And all this after a middle that was, if anything, a little too thorough and broadly comprehensive.) The author concludes with a few platitudes and wraps it up. While I was disappointed, the book addresses the nature of the problem so substantially and in such a balanced, positive way that I still feel it's an excellent and useful book, offering a new way of thinking about social connection and isolation.
We each have different forms and degrees of social needs. But virtually all of us have those social needs built deeply into our bodies, as we evolved a long time ago as social animals, dependent on cooperation for our survival. When those social needs aren't being met, it produces subtle physical and cognitive distress. This distress adds up over time, which shows up in decreased health and life expectancy. It also shapes the way our minds work, so that we not only become more pessimistic about others, but we also have trouble reading others well, all of which usually adds to social isolation over time.
America has always placed great value on the trait of independence. In this day and age, with nuclear families, everyone moving around to different places, and the spread of 'stranger danger,' circumstances tend to break social connections even more than in the past. Isolation has become an ever increasing vicious cycle. Even for those with strong social instincts, sometimes developing, maintaining, and refreshing a healthy social circle becomes like swimming against the tide, doesn't it? With our American mentalities, we usually suck it up, manage our emotions to keep 'loneliness' at bay, and try to make the new normal work for us. But even if we succeed for the most part, the message of this book is this: Your individual social needs are physical needs, you need meaningful social connection just like you need a certain amount of healthy food and good exercise. And if you're not getting those needs met, you'll need to outsmart the subtle emotional and cognitive impairments that come from that distress, in order to develop more meaningful social connections.
Unfortunately, the book offers no real solutions, which I was expecting at the end. (And all this after a middle that was, if anything, a little too thorough and broadly comprehensive.) The author concludes with a few platitudes and wraps it up. While I was disappointed, the book addresses the nature of the problem so substantially and in such a balanced, positive way that I still feel it's an excellent and useful book, offering a new way of thinking about social connection and isolation.
July 13, 2017
This book was somehow not what I was expecting but also exactly what I was expecting. I suppose it encompassed what I was expecting with what felt like two or three other books tossed on.
While it talked about loneliness (quite a lot), it also went through evolutionary psychology, primate behavior, gentrification, online social behaviors, genetics, 5x more studies than I anticipated, isolated human tribal behavior, parenting attachment styles, religion, wealth inequality...YOU NAME IT. I fell asleep a few times so I might've missed some, but THERE WAS A LOT OF INFO. I don't agree with a good amount of the assumed origins of observed behaviors, but I think there was a lot of really applicable takeaways for me. I've seen criticisms that the book wasn't "self helpy" enough, and if you approached it with that expectation I could see why you'd be disappointed, though there were some chapters (especially near the end) that shared specific behaviors to help combat loneliness. They're stupidly simple, but helpful imho. And hearing the science behind them makes me actually invested in following through.
While it talked about loneliness (quite a lot), it also went through evolutionary psychology, primate behavior, gentrification, online social behaviors, genetics, 5x more studies than I anticipated, isolated human tribal behavior, parenting attachment styles, religion, wealth inequality...YOU NAME IT. I fell asleep a few times so I might've missed some, but THERE WAS A LOT OF INFO. I don't agree with a good amount of the assumed origins of observed behaviors, but I think there was a lot of really applicable takeaways for me. I've seen criticisms that the book wasn't "self helpy" enough, and if you approached it with that expectation I could see why you'd be disappointed, though there were some chapters (especially near the end) that shared specific behaviors to help combat loneliness. They're stupidly simple, but helpful imho. And hearing the science behind them makes me actually invested in following through.
November 27, 2021
ควรจะจบ แค่250 หน้า
เพราะ 100 หน้าหลัง เริ่มไม่เน้นเนื้อ และใส่ประวัติศาสตร์ลิงมากไปหน่อย
เลยเบื่อ
แต่ท่อนแรกเป็นงานรวบรวมข้อมูลทั้งจิตวิทยา วิทยาศาสตร์ สังคมวิทยาที่พูดถึงความเหงาได้ดีครับ สมชื่อหนังสือ
เพราะ 100 หน้าหลัง เริ่มไม่เน้นเนื้อ และใส่ประวัติศาสตร์ลิงมากไปหน่อย
เลยเบื่อ
แต่ท่อนแรกเป็นงานรวบรวมข้อมูลทั้งจิตวิทยา วิทยาศาสตร์ สังคมวิทยาที่พูดถึงความเหงาได้ดีครับ สมชื่อหนังสือ
November 30, 2009
I enjoyed this book.
Summary of the cover:
I wish the authors had given a little more prominence to the subtitle, "Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection" - which sounds enough like an exposition on psychology that it could be used to impress others with your intellectual voracity - but no...instead, the main title of "Loneliness" pretty much ruled out reading this book in public, since that sounds a lot more like a self-help book / desperate-cry-for-attention than I was really comfortable with. Congratulations to the authors for writing a book on loneliness that I only felt comfortable reading at home, alone.
That said, it was actually quite an enjoyable book - which is probably biased by my utter ignorance about psychology and well, human nature and the need for social connection.
Summary of the book, as interpreted by me, the non-psychologist:
The human brain evolved in order to interact in complex, effective societies - not to solve the abstract mathematical and scientific problems that are traditionally associated with intelligence and "using your brain." Since the brain has evolved to understand the world primarily through the lens of human interaction, the comfort zone for our mental processing is to live in a human world. We tend to anthropomorphize the entire world: human-like gods to explain nature, pets treated as best friends, and even over-politicizing the simplest actions. As such when the real human element is removed (i.e. loneliness), the world is perceived - regardless of the objective reality - with less understanding and predictability, and thus induces more fear, stress, and indecision.
It is primarily a layman's book on psychology so it's not a real page turner, but it's not bad: interesting enough and scientific enough but still easily readable by someone with no clue like me. Sometimes the repeated ties back to "and this is why loneliness is bad" get a bit tiresome, but at least the book does at some point touch upon all the essential topics I expect from any work of non-fiction: war, urban planning, evolution, ghosts, artificial intelligence, the movie Cast Away, politics, monkey sex, and how hugging people is important.
Summary of the cover:
I wish the authors had given a little more prominence to the subtitle, "Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection" - which sounds enough like an exposition on psychology that it could be used to impress others with your intellectual voracity - but no...instead, the main title of "Loneliness" pretty much ruled out reading this book in public, since that sounds a lot more like a self-help book / desperate-cry-for-attention than I was really comfortable with. Congratulations to the authors for writing a book on loneliness that I only felt comfortable reading at home, alone.
That said, it was actually quite an enjoyable book - which is probably biased by my utter ignorance about psychology and well, human nature and the need for social connection.
Summary of the book, as interpreted by me, the non-psychologist:
The human brain evolved in order to interact in complex, effective societies - not to solve the abstract mathematical and scientific problems that are traditionally associated with intelligence and "using your brain." Since the brain has evolved to understand the world primarily through the lens of human interaction, the comfort zone for our mental processing is to live in a human world. We tend to anthropomorphize the entire world: human-like gods to explain nature, pets treated as best friends, and even over-politicizing the simplest actions. As such when the real human element is removed (i.e. loneliness), the world is perceived - regardless of the objective reality - with less understanding and predictability, and thus induces more fear, stress, and indecision.
It is primarily a layman's book on psychology so it's not a real page turner, but it's not bad: interesting enough and scientific enough but still easily readable by someone with no clue like me. Sometimes the repeated ties back to "and this is why loneliness is bad" get a bit tiresome, but at least the book does at some point touch upon all the essential topics I expect from any work of non-fiction: war, urban planning, evolution, ghosts, artificial intelligence, the movie Cast Away, politics, monkey sex, and how hugging people is important.
October 30, 2021
นึกถึงสมัยม.ต้น วิชาอะไรไม่แน่ใจ ในหนังสือหรืออาจารย์สอนว่ามนุษย์เป็นสัตว์สังคม ต้องอยู่รวมกันเป็นกลุ่ม จบ! แต่ไม่ได้ตอบข้อสงสัยของเราว่า ทำไมมนุษย์ถึงชอบอยู่ด้วยกัน ถ้ามนุษย์อยู่เดี่ยวๆจะเกิดอะไรขึ้น เราจะตายมั้ย หนังสือเล่มนี้ได้ตอบคำถามนั้นอย่างละเอียด วิทยาศาสตร์และวิวัฒนาการจัดเต็ม ซึ่งถ้าให้เด็กหญิงมิ้นเมื่อสิบกว่าปีที่แล้วอ่าน น่าจะมึนส์ก่อน 555
July 8, 2019
I came to the book less out of curiosity and more as someone with a problem to solve, which added more emotional investment and urgency to my read. I wanted solutions but would settle for deeper understanding, which is the beginning of most good problem-solving ideas.
Perhaps the most impactful insight of the book for me personally was what you listed as point #3- the downward spiral. Understanding how and why loneliness begets loneliness was a significant shift for me in terms of how I experience it (this wasn't the first time I heard of the concept, but this book was definitely the most in-depth exploration of the idea I have encountered, and it really hammered home for me). Being able to identify certain patterns of thinking (and behavior) as the result of isolation instead of 'serious, rational thought' I should take seriously definitely has impacted the way I relate to my lonely thoughts for the better.
It was also fascinating to learn how research confirms that it isn't really about how much social contact one has as much as ones subjective experience of feeling disconnected. Can confirm, for worse and for better.
He wrapped it up well too- as someone who spent his teenage years talking to god and wildlife more often than he did to humans, I really enjoyed his exploration of how loneliness increases anthropomorphization and religiosity. It certainly explains a lot.
I felt he was a bit skimpy on suggestions for solutions to the problem, but the book is about loneliness, not connection, so I guess it that makes sense. That said, his suggestions were all sound, and the ones that I am not already employing will be in the future. They're all insightful, well-researched suggestions.
It's not the most consoling, empowering, or fun read (at least until the end) if you are suffering from loneliness, but the insight it provides is very valuable, and the research is fascinating, and for that, it gets 4 stars from me.
Perhaps the most impactful insight of the book for me personally was what you listed as point #3- the downward spiral. Understanding how and why loneliness begets loneliness was a significant shift for me in terms of how I experience it (this wasn't the first time I heard of the concept, but this book was definitely the most in-depth exploration of the idea I have encountered, and it really hammered home for me). Being able to identify certain patterns of thinking (and behavior) as the result of isolation instead of 'serious, rational thought' I should take seriously definitely has impacted the way I relate to my lonely thoughts for the better.
It was also fascinating to learn how research confirms that it isn't really about how much social contact one has as much as ones subjective experience of feeling disconnected. Can confirm, for worse and for better.
He wrapped it up well too- as someone who spent his teenage years talking to god and wildlife more often than he did to humans, I really enjoyed his exploration of how loneliness increases anthropomorphization and religiosity. It certainly explains a lot.
I felt he was a bit skimpy on suggestions for solutions to the problem, but the book is about loneliness, not connection, so I guess it that makes sense. That said, his suggestions were all sound, and the ones that I am not already employing will be in the future. They're all insightful, well-researched suggestions.
It's not the most consoling, empowering, or fun read (at least until the end) if you are suffering from loneliness, but the insight it provides is very valuable, and the research is fascinating, and for that, it gets 4 stars from me.
January 21, 2020
I found this incredibly interesting and have begun to consciously pay more attention to some of the waves of feelings and words. A lot of meanings and feelings are textualized in a way that feels like an aha moment of sorts. I wasn’t into the last chapter as the previous two but I enjoyed how this book relied on research and experiments.
June 24, 2023
'Loneliness' is an interesting book, but not exactly what I was looking for.
I actually purchased this book a while ago before leaving for exchange to the United States. I was worried about being lonely, and so thought that this book would be a worthwhile read. Unfortunately, time got the better of me, and I didn't get an opportunity to read this until much much later, on my return back to Australia.
Whilst it was overall a good book, I felt that chapters far too often spent time getting into the nitty gritty of human evolution, and after long expositions on evolution, there were weak ties back to the subject manner of loneliness. Parts of the book also felt repetitive. Overall, 'Loneliness' is a good introduction to the theory of human evolution, but I found it sometimes lacking in the discussion of loneliness.
As an aside (this did not play a role in my rating of the book), as a Christian who does currently consider evolution as a part of God's creation, I felt that Cacioppo's discussion of evolution was far from the belief that their was an omniscient creator responsible for the creation of humanity. I did ultimately disagree with Cacioppo's God-less views of the formation of humanity and human nature, but still found some common ground.
I actually purchased this book a while ago before leaving for exchange to the United States. I was worried about being lonely, and so thought that this book would be a worthwhile read. Unfortunately, time got the better of me, and I didn't get an opportunity to read this until much much later, on my return back to Australia.
Whilst it was overall a good book, I felt that chapters far too often spent time getting into the nitty gritty of human evolution, and after long expositions on evolution, there were weak ties back to the subject manner of loneliness. Parts of the book also felt repetitive. Overall, 'Loneliness' is a good introduction to the theory of human evolution, but I found it sometimes lacking in the discussion of loneliness.
As an aside (this did not play a role in my rating of the book), as a Christian who does currently consider evolution as a part of God's creation, I felt that Cacioppo's discussion of evolution was far from the belief that their was an omniscient creator responsible for the creation of humanity. I did ultimately disagree with Cacioppo's God-less views of the formation of humanity and human nature, but still found some common ground.
May 2, 2020
Probabil cele mai abordate subiecte de-a lungul literaturii de orice tip, fie că vorbim de ficțiune sau non-ficțiune, au fost timpul, dragostea și moartea și într-o formă sau alta toate au legătură cu singurătatea. Cartea aceasta este solidă și conturează într-o manieră bine argumentată cum singurătatea este „cauza tăcută a unei vieți nefericite și a sănătății precare”. Este deopotrivă interesant cum datorită nevoii de conexiune socială am evoluat, și cum, omul modern încearcă adesea să se izoleze de semenii săi, fapt ce-i împiedică capacitatea de a gândi limpede și încetul cu încetul deciziile sale ajung într-un raport de cauză-efect ca al unui bulgăre de zapădă. (când s-au întâmplat toate acestea?)
Lectura acestei cărți a fost cu atât mai interesantă cu cât, avem tendința să confundăm nevoia firească de autonomie, cu cea de auto-izolare, lucru ce se transformă în timp într-un comportament distructiv pentru noi și pentru cei din jur, periclitând relațiile cu aceștia. Una dintre ideile care mi-au plăcut cel mai mult a fost o idee cu care de altfel rezonez, aceea că suntem „arhitecții propriei noastre lumi” și în cazul de față, a propriei noastre minți și că așa cum zicea și Shakespeare „nu se află lucru fie bun, fie rău, pe care gândul să nu-l facă așa”. Și este cu atât mai interesant, cu cât persoanele care ajung să se izoleze participă la acest caracter distructiv, aflându-se într-o spirală în declin.
Într-unul din episoadele serialului „After Life” creat de Ricky Gervais, Anne zicea „happiness is amazing. It's so amazing, it doesn't matter if it's yours or not.” - și cred mai puternic după terminarea acestei cărți că atunci când luăm decizia adesea inconștientă de a ne izola din motive care nu reprezintă întru totul complexul realității, precum un eșec, un refuz, o respingere și așa mai departe, uităm că deși suntem actori în propria piesă, fără public nu am fi nimic. Și că nu e totul despre noi, despre „insuportabila ușurătate a ființei” și nici despre greutățile vieții de zi cu zi, ci pur și simplu despre ceilalți. Despre bucuria de a împărtăși un gând stupid, despre distracția de a împărți o pungă de chips și despre sentimentul apartanenței în cadrul a ceva puțin mai mare decât noi: societate, familie, cuplu...
Lectura acestei cărți a fost cu atât mai interesantă cu cât, avem tendința să confundăm nevoia firească de autonomie, cu cea de auto-izolare, lucru ce se transformă în timp într-un comportament distructiv pentru noi și pentru cei din jur, periclitând relațiile cu aceștia. Una dintre ideile care mi-au plăcut cel mai mult a fost o idee cu care de altfel rezonez, aceea că suntem „arhitecții propriei noastre lumi” și în cazul de față, a propriei noastre minți și că așa cum zicea și Shakespeare „nu se află lucru fie bun, fie rău, pe care gândul să nu-l facă așa”. Și este cu atât mai interesant, cu cât persoanele care ajung să se izoleze participă la acest caracter distructiv, aflându-se într-o spirală în declin.
Într-unul din episoadele serialului „After Life” creat de Ricky Gervais, Anne zicea „happiness is amazing. It's so amazing, it doesn't matter if it's yours or not.” - și cred mai puternic după terminarea acestei cărți că atunci când luăm decizia adesea inconștientă de a ne izola din motive care nu reprezintă întru totul complexul realității, precum un eșec, un refuz, o respingere și așa mai departe, uităm că deși suntem actori în propria piesă, fără public nu am fi nimic. Și că nu e totul despre noi, despre „insuportabila ușurătate a ființei” și nici despre greutățile vieții de zi cu zi, ci pur și simplu despre ceilalți. Despre bucuria de a împărtăși un gând stupid, despre distracția de a împărți o pungă de chips și despre sentimentul apartanenței în cadrul a ceva puțin mai mare decât noi: societate, familie, cuplu...
November 29, 2017
3.5. While parts of this book were fascinating other parts just languished. Even though studies and statistics were used to quantify the effects of loneliness on an individual I still felt that the perimeters used still included stress, which are well known to cause similar outcomes. Is it possible to study loneliness without stress. I’m not sure after reading this book but many of the hypothesis were very interesting and I personally felt that they rang true in my own life.
February 4, 2022
A fabulous resource that I have recommended to several people already. Very insightful into the human condition from a scientific perspective, which, amazingly reminds us of the basic truths we have known but now on a synaptic and even cellular level—being positive, unselfish human beings makes us healthier, saner, and happier people in family life and community. There is more to it than that—but I felt very comforted and inspired by the thorough analysis.
February 4, 2020
This book thoroughly lays out the case for loneliness as a health indicator, societal problem, and universal challenge for living creatures (not just humans). As a reader in 2020, I’d heard dribs and drabs of this content before, but I found much value in this book’s systematic recounting of experiments, anecdotes and scientific theory.
June 2, 2020
I didn’t expect to enjoy this book as much as I did. It’s heavily scientific focusing on research more than personal anecdotes, but the author makes the information easy to understand. I learned a lot of very interesting facts, not only about loneliness, but about evolution and biology.
July 5, 2021
ชื่อหนังสือน่าสนใจ แต่หนังสือหนาเกินควร เพราะงานวิจัยที่ใส่เข้ามาจนรู้สึกว่าเยอะไป จนทำให้น่าเบื่อ
หนังสือมุ่งเน้น
-ผลกระทบที่เกิดจากความเหงา ทั้งร่างกาย-อารมณ์-สังคม
-อธิบายความเหงาให้เราเข้าใจว่ามันเกิดขึ้นอย่างไร โดยใช้ทฤษฎีวิวัฒนาการ และการทำงานของสมอง
หนังสือมุ่งเน้น
-ผลกระทบที่เกิดจากความเหงา ทั้งร่างกาย-อารมณ์-สังคม
-อธิบายความเหงาให้เราเข้าใจว่ามันเกิดขึ้นอย่างไร โดยใช้ทฤษฎีวิวัฒนาการ และการทำงานของสมอง
March 28, 2023
In "Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection," John and Stephanie Cacioppo offer a thought-provoking and insightful examination of the impact of loneliness on our lives. Drawing on their research as neuroscientists and psychologists, the authors argue that loneliness is a universal experience that affects us all to some degree, and that our need for social connection is fundamental to our well-being.
Throughout the book, the Cacioppos explore the science behind loneliness, its effects on the brain and body, and the social and cultural factors that contribute to it. They also provide practical strategies for overcoming loneliness and building stronger social connections.
Overall, "Loneliness" is a fascinating and important read, offering valuable insights into a topic that affects us all. Highly recommended for anyone interested in the science of social connection and the psychology of loneliness.
Throughout the book, the Cacioppos explore the science behind loneliness, its effects on the brain and body, and the social and cultural factors that contribute to it. They also provide practical strategies for overcoming loneliness and building stronger social connections.
Overall, "Loneliness" is a fascinating and important read, offering valuable insights into a topic that affects us all. Highly recommended for anyone interested in the science of social connection and the psychology of loneliness.
January 31, 2023
Not what I expected or what I was looking for. This book was informative about loneliness, to a degree. It is technical and statistical. My viewpoint on some aspects is very different from that of the authors. I was hoping for something a little more from a social perspective and not as broad subject wise. That said, the book offered a few suggestions for avoiding social isolation.
June 7, 2020
This is a very good‚ insightful book. Straight to the point but fairly elaborate with no unnecessary jargon. (Some chapters did contain detailed scientific terms and explanations but that's ok since the authors' approach to the subject is primarily scientific). I lost interest towards the end of the book (last 2 chapters) and started skimming since the authors started repeating clichés and offering standard generalized solutions which I found disappointing‚ since they were very thorough and handled the subject in depth from many perspectives earlier in the book‚ which kind of raised my expectations.
This book argues that chronic loneliness (distinguished from voluntary solitude and from separate feelings of loneliness from time to time) can cause health issues and early death. But is also caused by an interplay of factors including genetic disposition‚ the influence of our environment and distorted perceptions of social events and cues caused by loneliness–which was the catch-22 they mentioned in the book: that lonely people often go into an infinite loop of feeling isolated because of preexisting factors‚ which makes their thinking‚ perception‚ and behavior in a social context even worse‚ driving themselves further into a downward spiral and a vicious circle of loneliness‚ unless they break the cycle.
I found the part where they discussed the ramifications of global capitalism‚ the praise of aggressive individualism‚ that emerged after the industrial revolution‚ at the expense of meaningful social bonds and a profound sense of community quite interesting‚ as it put the problem of loneliness and isolation in a broader social context. Although this is more prevalent in Western culture‚ it's not far-fetched to believe other parts of the world are following suit.
There were many examples and experiments mentioned to illustrate how loneliness and feelings of isolation can have a direct effect on people physically‚ which I appreciated.
Overall the authors argue that social‚ meaningful connection is necessary for survival‚ and that we cannot ignore the "design specifications‚" that is‚ the way humans are essentially; "social animals‚" that make social connection necessary for good mental‚ emotional and even physical health.
This book argues that chronic loneliness (distinguished from voluntary solitude and from separate feelings of loneliness from time to time) can cause health issues and early death. But is also caused by an interplay of factors including genetic disposition‚ the influence of our environment and distorted perceptions of social events and cues caused by loneliness–which was the catch-22 they mentioned in the book: that lonely people often go into an infinite loop of feeling isolated because of preexisting factors‚ which makes their thinking‚ perception‚ and behavior in a social context even worse‚ driving themselves further into a downward spiral and a vicious circle of loneliness‚ unless they break the cycle.
I found the part where they discussed the ramifications of global capitalism‚ the praise of aggressive individualism‚ that emerged after the industrial revolution‚ at the expense of meaningful social bonds and a profound sense of community quite interesting‚ as it put the problem of loneliness and isolation in a broader social context. Although this is more prevalent in Western culture‚ it's not far-fetched to believe other parts of the world are following suit.
There were many examples and experiments mentioned to illustrate how loneliness and feelings of isolation can have a direct effect on people physically‚ which I appreciated.
Overall the authors argue that social‚ meaningful connection is necessary for survival‚ and that we cannot ignore the "design specifications‚" that is‚ the way humans are essentially; "social animals‚" that make social connection necessary for good mental‚ emotional and even physical health.
May 16, 2017
Un document d'une grande pertinence pour qui s'intéresse aux sciences cognitives et sociales mais aussi aux rapports étroits et évolutifs entre la biologie de notre cerveau et les interactions que nous avons avec notre environnement.
On apprend ici ce que la recherche sait de la solitude humaine : Cacioppo survole les champs de recherche et tisse des liens entre l'évolution, la biologie de notre cerveau (l'importance des neurones dits miroirs dans l'empathie, les signaux sociaux, les hormones), et l'aspect comportemental des solitaires et des non-solitaires. L'auteur aborde aussi l'attrait des mondes virtuels, de la religion et les limites de l'urbanisme et des valeurs d'indépendance promues dans la société américaine. Enfin, l'auteur propose que la solitude est une construction fautive de la subjectivité, et propose quelques trucs tirés de la CBT (thérapie cognitivo-comportementale) pour recadrer ses croyances.
Fouillé, complexe, riche en références et en exemples, et malgré tout accessible, ce document offre un point de vue fascinant sur une des grandes souffrances de notre temps.
On apprend ici ce que la recherche sait de la solitude humaine : Cacioppo survole les champs de recherche et tisse des liens entre l'évolution, la biologie de notre cerveau (l'importance des neurones dits miroirs dans l'empathie, les signaux sociaux, les hormones), et l'aspect comportemental des solitaires et des non-solitaires. L'auteur aborde aussi l'attrait des mondes virtuels, de la religion et les limites de l'urbanisme et des valeurs d'indépendance promues dans la société américaine. Enfin, l'auteur propose que la solitude est une construction fautive de la subjectivité, et propose quelques trucs tirés de la CBT (thérapie cognitivo-comportementale) pour recadrer ses croyances.
Fouillé, complexe, riche en références et en exemples, et malgré tout accessible, ce document offre un point de vue fascinant sur une des grandes souffrances de notre temps.
Read
January 9, 2011I have a lot further to go but I think this is a very brilliant author on a topic where he can bring his thoughts down to the layperson without doing a disservice to either him or his reader.
This is an investigation into loneliness, about how the need for social connection is so fundamental in humans that without it we fall apart, down to the cellular level. Cacioppo notes that, "over time, blood pressure climbs and gene expression falters. Cognition dulls; immune systems deteriorate. Aging accelerates under the constant, corrosive presence of stress hormones." He argues that "loneliness isn’t some personality defect or sign of weakness—it’s a survival impulse like hunger or thirst, a trigger pushing us toward the nourishment of human companionship." He asserts, “people who get stuck in loneliness have not done anything wrong. None of us is immune to feelings of isolation, any more than we are immune to feelings of hunger or physical pain.”
This is an investigation into loneliness, about how the need for social connection is so fundamental in humans that without it we fall apart, down to the cellular level. Cacioppo notes that, "over time, blood pressure climbs and gene expression falters. Cognition dulls; immune systems deteriorate. Aging accelerates under the constant, corrosive presence of stress hormones." He argues that "loneliness isn’t some personality defect or sign of weakness—it’s a survival impulse like hunger or thirst, a trigger pushing us toward the nourishment of human companionship." He asserts, “people who get stuck in loneliness have not done anything wrong. None of us is immune to feelings of isolation, any more than we are immune to feelings of hunger or physical pain.”
March 20, 2021
3,5
The reason for the low rating is that I find the book to be unnecessarily long - especially if you have previously read pop-psychology books about social connection. The authors spend a lot of time making metaphors and analogies that for me mostly seems distracting. It doesn't really feel like they know what they want to say with each passage.
A lot of interesting science is presented, like the loss of exceutive function when loneliness is experienced, and how loneliness affects how social interactions are perceived, however, I do feel that a lot of these points could be made in half the space or less. That makes it hard to keep focus on the book, and I didn't feel like I gained any grand revelations as I hoped.
If you feel lonely and want to figure out how that affects your perception and behaviour, and haven't read too much psychology books yet, this book might still be for you and help you gain insight into yourself and the foundation that makes us human.
The reason for the low rating is that I find the book to be unnecessarily long - especially if you have previously read pop-psychology books about social connection. The authors spend a lot of time making metaphors and analogies that for me mostly seems distracting. It doesn't really feel like they know what they want to say with each passage.
A lot of interesting science is presented, like the loss of exceutive function when loneliness is experienced, and how loneliness affects how social interactions are perceived, however, I do feel that a lot of these points could be made in half the space or less. That makes it hard to keep focus on the book, and I didn't feel like I gained any grand revelations as I hoped.
If you feel lonely and want to figure out how that affects your perception and behaviour, and haven't read too much psychology books yet, this book might still be for you and help you gain insight into yourself and the foundation that makes us human.
June 17, 2010
Please note: I discuss the thesis of the book, which vaguely qualifies as a spoiler inasmuch as a psychology book can have such a thing.
I was surprised at how disappointing this book was. Being an introvert, I naturally expected to enjoy the premise & exploration of the main idea. However, the book has a single thesis: loneliness causes a negative feedback loop. This is supported by a myriad of studies in various contexts (animals/people in varying environments), but that encompasses the entirety of the book. The only addendum is the increasingly dire warnings about the deleterious effects of loneliness on physical health. Overall, it's a decent attempt at an interesting subject, but it fails to be an interesting read.
I was surprised at how disappointing this book was. Being an introvert, I naturally expected to enjoy the premise & exploration of the main idea. However, the book has a single thesis: loneliness causes a negative feedback loop. This is supported by a myriad of studies in various contexts (animals/people in varying environments), but that encompasses the entirety of the book. The only addendum is the increasingly dire warnings about the deleterious effects of loneliness on physical health. Overall, it's a decent attempt at an interesting subject, but it fails to be an interesting read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
November 25, 2017I read/skimmed this for my thesis paper.
This had some great data on loneliness and what various studies have concluded. It is riddled with Darwinist thinking, but that is to be expected. It shows that relationships are necessary for our own health. The conclusion? We are made for social relationships and so we need to pursue them (and not just for what I can get, but also for what I can give). The final chapter contains a fascinating look at how church communities provide the exact dynamic that a lonely person needs!
This had some great data on loneliness and what various studies have concluded. It is riddled with Darwinist thinking, but that is to be expected. It shows that relationships are necessary for our own health. The conclusion? We are made for social relationships and so we need to pursue them (and not just for what I can get, but also for what I can give). The final chapter contains a fascinating look at how church communities provide the exact dynamic that a lonely person needs!
March 28, 2018
I found this book because the author was quoted in the April 2018 Psychology Today cover story. I really enjoyed the writing style, and the first 100 pages or so of this book. After that I found myself noticing that I felt like I was reading the same information over and over again. I think the topic is valuable and the authors had a great concept but it wasn't enough to keep me reading until the end. I flipped ahead to see if something new was coming, and lo, it all looked the same.
July 2, 2020
Lots of research. Not a lot of practical advice, however.
May 4, 2020
I’ve read a few titles that’ve referenced this book, so I figured it was finally time to give this one a shot. Within it, Cacioppo and Patrick shrewdly break down the evolutionary roots of loneliness and the effects it has on our psychology and physiology.
Those effects include many detrimental factors, but one of the most detrimental, in my opinion, is the fact that loneliness often becomes a trap. That is, we feel lonely, so we shy away from connecting with others, which in turn, makes us shameful and even more lonely, which starts the cycle over yet again.
The key to breaking out of this trap is reconnecting with others, in spite of our negative feelings. That could mean any number of things, many of which are covered in this book. The one caveat to such connection, however, is that it must be real, deep, and, likely, in person; text messages and emails don’t help us connect nearly as much as real-life interaction does.
With this in mind, the authors close the book on something of a warning note: technology and the global economy are changing the way we connect with one another, and if we want to avoid the devastating effects of loneliness in the future, we’re going to have to go out of our way to preserve our social connections in spite of such sweeping societal changes.
In the end, I found this one to be quite an eye-opening read. I recommend it to sociologists, psychiatrists, or anyone curious about mental health in general.
-Brian Sachetta
Author of “Get Out of Your Head: A Toolkit for Living with and Overcoming Anxiety”
Those effects include many detrimental factors, but one of the most detrimental, in my opinion, is the fact that loneliness often becomes a trap. That is, we feel lonely, so we shy away from connecting with others, which in turn, makes us shameful and even more lonely, which starts the cycle over yet again.
The key to breaking out of this trap is reconnecting with others, in spite of our negative feelings. That could mean any number of things, many of which are covered in this book. The one caveat to such connection, however, is that it must be real, deep, and, likely, in person; text messages and emails don’t help us connect nearly as much as real-life interaction does.
With this in mind, the authors close the book on something of a warning note: technology and the global economy are changing the way we connect with one another, and if we want to avoid the devastating effects of loneliness in the future, we’re going to have to go out of our way to preserve our social connections in spite of such sweeping societal changes.
In the end, I found this one to be quite an eye-opening read. I recommend it to sociologists, psychiatrists, or anyone curious about mental health in general.
-Brian Sachetta
Author of “Get Out of Your Head: A Toolkit for Living with and Overcoming Anxiety”
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