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Soul Mate 101 and Other Essays on Love and Sex
What does love look like in adulthood? Sometimes many splendored, often mucho complicated.
“These essays sizzle with urgency, honesty, lust, and release. I’m not sure I’ve ever read a collection where all the essayists bare themselves with such profound vulnerability. Here we are reminded of our first crushes, our first mistakes, and our repeated attempts to navigate toward the best versions of ourselves. Jennifer Niesslein has created a far-ranging anthology that showcases talented essayists doing what we all do: grapple with the leaps we’ve made and the lengths we’ll go to outrun the falls.”
—Jill Talbot, the author of The Way We Weren’t: A Memoir
"Everyone has a story to tell, and when those individual stories are told well they transcend the particular. In Soul Mate 101, each story of love lost and love found, of sexual desire and spiritual connection, becomes universal. Here, desire evolves—or doesn’t—sometimes years after it begins as puppy love. These 21 outstanding writers explore love and sex in language whose rhythm ranges from sensuous to urgent. Soul Mate 101 is an advanced class in the longings of the human heart."
—Sue William Silverman, author, Love Sick: One Woman’s Journey through Sexual Addiction
“These essays sizzle with urgency, honesty, lust, and release. I’m not sure I’ve ever read a collection where all the essayists bare themselves with such profound vulnerability. Here we are reminded of our first crushes, our first mistakes, and our repeated attempts to navigate toward the best versions of ourselves. Jennifer Niesslein has created a far-ranging anthology that showcases talented essayists doing what we all do: grapple with the leaps we’ve made and the lengths we’ll go to outrun the falls.”
—Jill Talbot, the author of The Way We Weren’t: A Memoir
"Everyone has a story to tell, and when those individual stories are told well they transcend the particular. In Soul Mate 101, each story of love lost and love found, of sexual desire and spiritual connection, becomes universal. Here, desire evolves—or doesn’t—sometimes years after it begins as puppy love. These 21 outstanding writers explore love and sex in language whose rhythm ranges from sensuous to urgent. Soul Mate 101 is an advanced class in the longings of the human heart."
—Sue William Silverman, author, Love Sick: One Woman’s Journey through Sexual Addiction
180 pages, Paperback
First published September 21, 2015
About the author
Jennifer Niesslein
9 books22 followersI'm the founder and editor of Full Grown People, a web magazine of essays about adulthood—the other awkward age.
I'm also the author of Practically Perfect in Every Way and the co-founder of Brain, Child magazine.
I'm also the author of Practically Perfect in Every Way and the co-founder of Brain, Child magazine.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
January 2, 2017
Yay! Got a winner out of the gate! First read of 2017 and it's one of the best books I've ever read. Best as in I am ordering up more print copies right now to hand out to friends.
'Essays' sounds like school, stiff and boring. Think of these as beautifully (really truly gorgeously) written and fully relatable, first-person love biographies instead. There are no duds in this collection - I had my favorites but the reasons were personal rather than quality.
Each of the 21 writers pulls back the veil of secrecy, we all kind of keep around the heart of our love lives, to show a moment of revelation. The moment when you realize your husband isn't perfect for you but he's the one you want. Or when you finally dump the crazy cheater even though the sex rocked. Or, when your beloved dies but you keep living. Or when you figure out you needed all those very mr wrong's in your past to help you perceive mr right. Or, that time you dated someone a decade younger than you and it really was alright.
Thankfully none of them are preaching 'soul mate' mumbo jumbo (well one is but it's not her husband and they are both ok with that.) And no one takes their HEA for granted. It's more the reality of HFN and the work, often heartache, it took to get there.
I loved that most of the authors were in their 40s, not young adults. This is experience talking. Most were also college-educated American women. They are also all fairly feminist. Within that framework, there's diversity of race, religion and sexual orientation. And they're not all in the Northeasterners either, although many made a pit stop there at some point in life. So, there's Utah, Montana and Illinois among other locations.
I feel better having read this, I feel less isolated in my experience even though it's different from the authors' experiences. There's just something about other women sharing their truths that make my own a bit easier to bear, and celebrate even.
Highly recommended! So very highly.
'Essays' sounds like school, stiff and boring. Think of these as beautifully (really truly gorgeously) written and fully relatable, first-person love biographies instead. There are no duds in this collection - I had my favorites but the reasons were personal rather than quality.
Each of the 21 writers pulls back the veil of secrecy, we all kind of keep around the heart of our love lives, to show a moment of revelation. The moment when you realize your husband isn't perfect for you but he's the one you want. Or when you finally dump the crazy cheater even though the sex rocked. Or, when your beloved dies but you keep living. Or when you figure out you needed all those very mr wrong's in your past to help you perceive mr right. Or, that time you dated someone a decade younger than you and it really was alright.
Thankfully none of them are preaching 'soul mate' mumbo jumbo (well one is but it's not her husband and they are both ok with that.) And no one takes their HEA for granted. It's more the reality of HFN and the work, often heartache, it took to get there.
I loved that most of the authors were in their 40s, not young adults. This is experience talking. Most were also college-educated American women. They are also all fairly feminist. Within that framework, there's diversity of race, religion and sexual orientation. And they're not all in the Northeasterners either, although many made a pit stop there at some point in life. So, there's Utah, Montana and Illinois among other locations.
I feel better having read this, I feel less isolated in my experience even though it's different from the authors' experiences. There's just something about other women sharing their truths that make my own a bit easier to bear, and celebrate even.
Highly recommended! So very highly.
January 11, 2016
A beautiful, nuanced collection of essays about the nature of life, love and lust in adulthood culled from the essays published by talented writer and editor Jennifer Niesslein on Full Grown People (FGP), a stellar standout of a digital magazine. The theme of what it means to love and desire-- and to be loved and desired--in mid-life is skillfully handled by a bevy of authors who infuse their essays with all the humor and heart FGP is known for. I found myself re-reading several pieces, revisiting their stories and reveling in the complexity of compelling emotions and the candor with which they share their thoughts and experiences. A wonderful book to read and share-- and to reread.
May 18, 2024
I'm about 40% done with this book and it's devastatingly painful to read. Each story reminds me of why I've been single and offers me little hope in humans. With that being said, it's raw and honest but damn . Some of the stories are drawn out beyond needed pages and it's easy to disengage with said stories and cry why. I love a good book full of short stories but so far I'm left longing for more. Raw and honest here falls flat here, which for me is unusual.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews