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Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show
A deliciously witty and inspiring memoir by One Tree Hill star Bethany Joy Lenz about her decade in a cult and her quest to break free.
In the early 2000s, after years of hard work and determination to breakthrough as an actor, Bethany Joy Lenz was finally cast as one of the leads on the hit drama One Tree Hill. Her career was about to take off, but her personal life was slowly beginning to unravel. What none of the show’s millions of fans knew, hidden even from her costars, was her secret double life in a cult.
An only child who often had to fend for herself and always wanted a place to belong, Lenz found the safe haven she’d been searching for in a Bible study group with other Hollywood creatives. However, the group soon morphed into something more sinister—a slowly woven web of manipulation, abuse, and fear under the guise of a church covenant called The Big House Family. Piece by piece, Lenz began to give away her autonomy, ultimately relocating to the Family’s Pacific Northwest compound, overseen by a domineering minister who would convince Lenz to marry one of his sons and steadily drained millions of her TV income without her knowledge. Family “minders” assigned to her on set, “Maoist struggle session”–inspired meetings in the basement of a filthy house, and regular counseling with “Leadership” were just part of the tactics used to keep her loyal.
Only when she became a mother did Lenz find the courage to leave and spare her child from a similar fate. After nearly a decade (and with the unlikely help of a One Tree Hill superfan), she finally managed to escape the family’s grip and begin to heal from the deep trauma that forever altered her relationship with God and her understanding of faith. Written with powerful honesty and dark humor, Dinner for Vampires is an inspiring story about the importance of identity and understanding what you believe.
In the early 2000s, after years of hard work and determination to breakthrough as an actor, Bethany Joy Lenz was finally cast as one of the leads on the hit drama One Tree Hill. Her career was about to take off, but her personal life was slowly beginning to unravel. What none of the show’s millions of fans knew, hidden even from her costars, was her secret double life in a cult.
An only child who often had to fend for herself and always wanted a place to belong, Lenz found the safe haven she’d been searching for in a Bible study group with other Hollywood creatives. However, the group soon morphed into something more sinister—a slowly woven web of manipulation, abuse, and fear under the guise of a church covenant called The Big House Family. Piece by piece, Lenz began to give away her autonomy, ultimately relocating to the Family’s Pacific Northwest compound, overseen by a domineering minister who would convince Lenz to marry one of his sons and steadily drained millions of her TV income without her knowledge. Family “minders” assigned to her on set, “Maoist struggle session”–inspired meetings in the basement of a filthy house, and regular counseling with “Leadership” were just part of the tactics used to keep her loyal.
Only when she became a mother did Lenz find the courage to leave and spare her child from a similar fate. After nearly a decade (and with the unlikely help of a One Tree Hill superfan), she finally managed to escape the family’s grip and begin to heal from the deep trauma that forever altered her relationship with God and her understanding of faith. Written with powerful honesty and dark humor, Dinner for Vampires is an inspiring story about the importance of identity and understanding what you believe.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published October 22, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 3,744 reviews
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November 11, 2024Looooved this! Of course listened to it on audio as I do with all memoirs and it was beyond fascinating! I truly didn't want it to end and could have listened to this story for hours
Shelved as 'nonfiction'
March 1, 2024ok mrs. haley james scott
December 8, 2024
This was fantastic and unnerving. I would have never guessed that Bethany had all of this going on while playing Haley on One Tree Hill.
Highly recommend. 5 Stars. And it's on sale on Audible right now - narrated by the author.
Highly recommend. 5 Stars. And it's on sale on Audible right now - narrated by the author.
August 12, 2024
Dinner for Vampires is everything I expected and wanted from this memoir but don’t be fooled into thinking this is a good time or a new Lestat story.
Growing up with One Tree Hill, I was absolutely enamored with our big three (Brooke, Peyton, and Haley) and it shaped my ideal for female friendships before Sex and the City ever could. It was so disheartening to see how those relationships weren’t able to transcend into the real life (on set) of Bethany Joy Lenz and to experience her first hand account of living in a cult.
I identified with this story more than I ever hoped also living in a very distinct branch of Christianity and the wild similarities between this religion and cult like mentality. We get to see how anybody can be targeted, coerced, and then ruined by these vampires especially when that someone is a growing star on one of the most exciting shows on television.
This story focuses a lot more on Joy and her time in the cult, her experiences that were shaped by them, and her struggle to get free. Don’t go into this thinking it will be like The Drama Queens Podcast at all or even Hillarie Burton Morgan’s memoir because the topic and her life is vastly different than what we have gotten to hear from these beautiful and strong women. But don’t let the heavy topic dissuade you from reading either. Through an incredibly strong voice, Joy is able to convey her story without begging you to understand but is still able to elicit so much empathy and kindness for survivors of all types. And the insights to her and Paul Johansson’s (evil Dan Scott’s) dear friendship was one of my favourite things to come from this recounting.
Thank you so much for this ARC as this was one of my most anticipated books this year and I was THRILLED to get this months before I had to start my countdown. I can’t wait for everyone to hear her story and all collectively give her a giant hug.
Growing up with One Tree Hill, I was absolutely enamored with our big three (Brooke, Peyton, and Haley) and it shaped my ideal for female friendships before Sex and the City ever could. It was so disheartening to see how those relationships weren’t able to transcend into the real life (on set) of Bethany Joy Lenz and to experience her first hand account of living in a cult.
I identified with this story more than I ever hoped also living in a very distinct branch of Christianity and the wild similarities between this religion and cult like mentality. We get to see how anybody can be targeted, coerced, and then ruined by these vampires especially when that someone is a growing star on one of the most exciting shows on television.
This story focuses a lot more on Joy and her time in the cult, her experiences that were shaped by them, and her struggle to get free. Don’t go into this thinking it will be like The Drama Queens Podcast at all or even Hillarie Burton Morgan’s memoir because the topic and her life is vastly different than what we have gotten to hear from these beautiful and strong women. But don’t let the heavy topic dissuade you from reading either. Through an incredibly strong voice, Joy is able to convey her story without begging you to understand but is still able to elicit so much empathy and kindness for survivors of all types. And the insights to her and Paul Johansson’s (evil Dan Scott’s) dear friendship was one of my favourite things to come from this recounting.
Thank you so much for this ARC as this was one of my most anticipated books this year and I was THRILLED to get this months before I had to start my countdown. I can’t wait for everyone to hear her story and all collectively give her a giant hug.
November 12, 2024
4 stars
‘I was just a 19-year-old kid enjoying a rainy day.’
Reading Dinner for Vampires felt like discovering whole new sides of someone I thought I knew. This memoir is raw, honest, and incredibly eye opening.just as she intended. Her main goal was to spread awareness, and she does so in a way that’s heartbreaking yet real. As a huge One Tree Hill fan, I devoured this book.
“I knew I had a thousand different characters inside me and a hundred ways to play them.”
The first 100 pages felt a bit slow for me, but once she delved into her OTH experiences, I was completely hooked. She opens up about the isolation she felt while keeping so much of her real life hidden, and her honesty about Hollywood’s double standards really struck a chord:
“Actors get older; actresses get old.”
I loved how she reflected on Haley and Nathan’s relationship and how it helped her realize what she wanted for herself in real life. “She didn’t want money; she just wanted someone who wants her company.” Her on-screen love story actually shaped her perspective on relationships.
‘Do you know how many arranged marriages there are where people fall madly in love years after they are married? The Bible is full of those stories! (It’s not, BTW.)’
It broke my heart to read that her own family hadn’t even bothered to watch OTH. This is the family she was part of for 10 years, and they showed no interest in something that was so meaningful to her. Her realness made me love her even more. One of the most moving moments came toward the end when she describes finally releasing years of pent-up anger. I broke down and cried reading those final pages. Watching her find that release was powerful and hit close to home.
playlist : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4El...
‘I was just a 19-year-old kid enjoying a rainy day.’
Reading Dinner for Vampires felt like discovering whole new sides of someone I thought I knew. This memoir is raw, honest, and incredibly eye opening.just as she intended. Her main goal was to spread awareness, and she does so in a way that’s heartbreaking yet real. As a huge One Tree Hill fan, I devoured this book.
“I knew I had a thousand different characters inside me and a hundred ways to play them.”
The first 100 pages felt a bit slow for me, but once she delved into her OTH experiences, I was completely hooked. She opens up about the isolation she felt while keeping so much of her real life hidden, and her honesty about Hollywood’s double standards really struck a chord:
“Actors get older; actresses get old.”
I loved how she reflected on Haley and Nathan’s relationship and how it helped her realize what she wanted for herself in real life. “She didn’t want money; she just wanted someone who wants her company.” Her on-screen love story actually shaped her perspective on relationships.
‘Do you know how many arranged marriages there are where people fall madly in love years after they are married? The Bible is full of those stories! (It’s not, BTW.)’
It broke my heart to read that her own family hadn’t even bothered to watch OTH. This is the family she was part of for 10 years, and they showed no interest in something that was so meaningful to her. Her realness made me love her even more. One of the most moving moments came toward the end when she describes finally releasing years of pent-up anger. I broke down and cried reading those final pages. Watching her find that release was powerful and hit close to home.
playlist : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4El...
August 18, 2024
i’m not a huge fan of one tree hill, i actually watched it for the first time last year and i really enjoyed it. i loved nathan and haley so i decided i wanted to give this a read. especially because im very fascinated by cult memoirs. i read a lot of fictional books but for some reason they don’t capture cults very well in my opinion. obviously because this was based on someone lived experience i felt it was captured well. this book was quick and i liked the timeline it talked about the events because some memoirs go back and forth. anyway i definitely recommend!
November 22, 2024
Incredible book and an incredible story. Loved on audiobook except I realllyyyy didn't like the random bits of singing but I also listened on 1.8 speed so maybe that's on me
September 2, 2024
This is a pretty wild and infuriating read. I cannot handle how manipulated and controlled this woman was. As a Christian, it makes me so angry how God is weaponized for the sake of power, greed and control. I absolutely love reading books about cults. Women who are former members of cults. I have read the Duggar ones and Unfollow from a member of Westboro Baptist. These have the similarity of the women growing up in the cult, and never choosing it. Joy’s account in Dinner for Vampires is unique in that she was groomed, recruited and manipulated to be in this one. If you are a fan of One Tree Hill, know that this experience doesn’t have a big part in the memoir, it is more background information. After reading this, I will be in @msbethanyjoylenz corner forever, biltmore all the way.
This really does make you think and question your assumptions about cults and groupthink. Almost none of us think we are susceptible to propaganda and influence and yet we are all hugely influenced by it every day. Maybe it isn’t religion related, but the definition of a cult can be broadened to other groupthink behavior. How many times have you said, “I just can’t believe that X actually believes _________, knowing what I know about X, I cannot reconcile how X can possibly believe both _____ and _____.”
Who hasn’t thought that?
One thing I wish she had gone more into was how this has shaped her faith today. I also like to hear more of the ways that the cult improved her life. There are a lot of good things about being in cults. That seems strange to say, but if they didn’t have positive effects, they wouldn’t be able to take advantage of people. Someday I would like to read a memoir of someone who turned into a cult leader and how they rationalized it in their mind.
Thank you to @netgalley and @simonandschuster for the ARC. Book to be released October 21, 2024
#netgalley #bookreviews #booksbooksbooks #bookstagram #booktok #dinnerforvampires
This really does make you think and question your assumptions about cults and groupthink. Almost none of us think we are susceptible to propaganda and influence and yet we are all hugely influenced by it every day. Maybe it isn’t religion related, but the definition of a cult can be broadened to other groupthink behavior. How many times have you said, “I just can’t believe that X actually believes _________, knowing what I know about X, I cannot reconcile how X can possibly believe both _____ and _____.”
Who hasn’t thought that?
One thing I wish she had gone more into was how this has shaped her faith today. I also like to hear more of the ways that the cult improved her life. There are a lot of good things about being in cults. That seems strange to say, but if they didn’t have positive effects, they wouldn’t be able to take advantage of people. Someday I would like to read a memoir of someone who turned into a cult leader and how they rationalized it in their mind.
Thank you to @netgalley and @simonandschuster for the ARC. Book to be released October 21, 2024
#netgalley #bookreviews #booksbooksbooks #bookstagram #booktok #dinnerforvampires
October 29, 2024
Can I give a memoir infinity stars?! Because this one is more than deserving of it.
OTH has been my comfort show for almost 20 years now, so I knew that I would enjoy hearing Joy share her story with us. What I did not anticipate was that I would have such an emotional reaction to what she went through for so many years.
This book read so differently from other memoirs. You could tell that Joy took a lot of care in how she would share this story with her audience and it was done so beautifully. The writing, the storytelling, THE AUDIOBOOK. While I am sure that the physical copy is just as good, this memoir is meant to be experienced through your ears. Joy is an incredible narrator (she really should consider narrating more books in her future) and the cameos we got from some of our favorites were such a fun touch.
My heart broke for Joy over and over again while she recounted her experience in a cult and I applaud her for having the courage to share it with us. To me, there was just enough OTH content, but I really enjoyed that the focus was on her life outside of the show while she was filming over the years.
This book was incredible and it is well worth the read, whether you've watched OTH or not.
OTH has been my comfort show for almost 20 years now, so I knew that I would enjoy hearing Joy share her story with us. What I did not anticipate was that I would have such an emotional reaction to what she went through for so many years.
This book read so differently from other memoirs. You could tell that Joy took a lot of care in how she would share this story with her audience and it was done so beautifully. The writing, the storytelling, THE AUDIOBOOK. While I am sure that the physical copy is just as good, this memoir is meant to be experienced through your ears. Joy is an incredible narrator (she really should consider narrating more books in her future) and the cameos we got from some of our favorites were such a fun touch.
My heart broke for Joy over and over again while she recounted her experience in a cult and I applaud her for having the courage to share it with us. To me, there was just enough OTH content, but I really enjoyed that the focus was on her life outside of the show while she was filming over the years.
This book was incredible and it is well worth the read, whether you've watched OTH or not.
October 30, 2024
I need a minute after this one. This was way too close to home and all throughout the story I would wince at certain parts because I understood it. Types of abuse cloaked in “Christianity” and so much trauma. My respect for Bethany Joy has shot through the stratosphere. Her realness, rawness and transparency deeply resonated with me, and the part that spoke about “spiritual authority over you” hit me like a ton of bricks full force. Jezebel spirit, submissive women whether single or married and so much more. I feel I need to immediately re-listen and take notes from this one because my mouth is still open. I feel so validated and seen due to my own experience with a religious cult. These wounds go deep, but God’s Grace and healing ❤️🩹 is very real and I’m so thankful for my relationship with Christ.
November 12, 2024
Wishing all the healing + love to Bethany, because wow.
November 18, 2024
WOW! This was fabulous on audio! I couldn’t stop listening! Highly recommend if you liked One Tree Hill and are interested in cults.
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November 11, 2024my god. this just goes to show how you NEVER know what someone is going through and unveiling that curtain, for some, can be excruciating.
i recently started watching one tree hill. from the first episode, joy was a standout actress to me and quickly became my favorite part of the show. after discovering what she was dealing with every. single. day. while starring on a tv show is beyond me.
i only knew the bare minimum amount cults from my psychology classes, and delving into my first look at someone’s firsthand experience makes me so incredibly angry. for those who didn’t ask for it. for those who trusted their peers. for the ones seeking solace and refuge and instead receive emotional manipulation and a mistrust in others at the hands of OTHER HUMANS abuse.
listening to this narrated by herself truly left me in shambles. her heart is absolutely something that shone throughout the story and i’m still having trouble grappling with the idea that this was, at one point, her reality and not just a page i can close before moving on with my life.
i recently started watching one tree hill. from the first episode, joy was a standout actress to me and quickly became my favorite part of the show. after discovering what she was dealing with every. single. day. while starring on a tv show is beyond me.
i only knew the bare minimum amount cults from my psychology classes, and delving into my first look at someone’s firsthand experience makes me so incredibly angry. for those who didn’t ask for it. for those who trusted their peers. for the ones seeking solace and refuge and instead receive emotional manipulation and a mistrust in others at the hands of OTHER HUMANS abuse.
listening to this narrated by herself truly left me in shambles. her heart is absolutely something that shone throughout the story and i’m still having trouble grappling with the idea that this was, at one point, her reality and not just a page i can close before moving on with my life.
November 8, 2024
Bethany Joy Lenz, of One Tree Hill fame, has written one heck of a stunner with her memoir, “Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show”.
Lenz grew up wanting to be an actor and, as an only child, her parents encouraged her dreams. But, being an only child with parents who were constantly at odds with each other (and eventually divorced), left Lenz afloat and desperate to find a place to fit in. As a religious person, Lenz found a small group of Hollywood creatives who had formed a Bible Study group, and, finally, Lenz felt that she had found a family. Until the “Family” made her cut ties with her biological family, forced her into marriage and to give up her dream of life in the theatre and stole large sums of money from her acting paychecks. All of this while showing up to film One Tree Hill for seven seasons. It wasn’t until she had her first child when Lenz realized that she was a member of a cult- and she needed to escape, no matter the cost.
“Dinner” is witty, smart and honest and Lenz’s writing is deeply emotional. She talks about her parents and her upbringing, as well as her early acting roles and the importance of acting in her life. Lenz is candid about her struggles with ADHD and OCD, long before they were a “thing”, and pulls no punches (pun intended) when she talks about the abuse suffered at the hands of her husband and his “Family”, led by a scary con man named Les.
I am fascinated by cults and the whole cult dynamic, so this one was extra engaging for me, as Lenz gave firsthand experiences. Lenz doesn’t talk about any of her former cult members by name, using only aliases or nicknames (in fact, even her ex-husband is given the name, “QB”) in order to protect those who have left, and to minimize the importance of the participating members and leaders.
Only knowing Lenz as “Haley James Scott”, I felt that “Dinner” made her human in my eyes, in every humble and dysfunctional way. I sympathized with her, able to see beyond the celebrity persona, and admired her grace, her bravery, and the love she feels for her daughter. I am in the middle of re-watching One Tree Hill right now, and it will definitely have me looking at Haley James Scott in a different way. For OTH fans, Lenz speaks of her co-stars highly, so you won’t get any nasty gossip or in-fighting drama, which allows readers to focus solely on Lenz’s story and the terrible influence this particular cult had on her young life. A dynamite biography that needs to be read by One Tree Hills fans everywhere.
Lenz grew up wanting to be an actor and, as an only child, her parents encouraged her dreams. But, being an only child with parents who were constantly at odds with each other (and eventually divorced), left Lenz afloat and desperate to find a place to fit in. As a religious person, Lenz found a small group of Hollywood creatives who had formed a Bible Study group, and, finally, Lenz felt that she had found a family. Until the “Family” made her cut ties with her biological family, forced her into marriage and to give up her dream of life in the theatre and stole large sums of money from her acting paychecks. All of this while showing up to film One Tree Hill for seven seasons. It wasn’t until she had her first child when Lenz realized that she was a member of a cult- and she needed to escape, no matter the cost.
“Dinner” is witty, smart and honest and Lenz’s writing is deeply emotional. She talks about her parents and her upbringing, as well as her early acting roles and the importance of acting in her life. Lenz is candid about her struggles with ADHD and OCD, long before they were a “thing”, and pulls no punches (pun intended) when she talks about the abuse suffered at the hands of her husband and his “Family”, led by a scary con man named Les.
I am fascinated by cults and the whole cult dynamic, so this one was extra engaging for me, as Lenz gave firsthand experiences. Lenz doesn’t talk about any of her former cult members by name, using only aliases or nicknames (in fact, even her ex-husband is given the name, “QB”) in order to protect those who have left, and to minimize the importance of the participating members and leaders.
Only knowing Lenz as “Haley James Scott”, I felt that “Dinner” made her human in my eyes, in every humble and dysfunctional way. I sympathized with her, able to see beyond the celebrity persona, and admired her grace, her bravery, and the love she feels for her daughter. I am in the middle of re-watching One Tree Hill right now, and it will definitely have me looking at Haley James Scott in a different way. For OTH fans, Lenz speaks of her co-stars highly, so you won’t get any nasty gossip or in-fighting drama, which allows readers to focus solely on Lenz’s story and the terrible influence this particular cult had on her young life. A dynamite biography that needs to be read by One Tree Hills fans everywhere.
November 11, 2024
Title is a bit misleading—this is much more about her being in the cult than it is her time on One Tree Hill, and there is A LOT of talk about her religion, more than in most cult books I've read. But this was a good read, and Joy does a really good job portraying the process of being groomed and love-bombed into a cult. Most of the cult members and/or leaders are named after vampires or vampire adjacent notable figures (Lestat, Kurt Barlow, Lucy Westenra, Mina and Harker from Dracula, and Pam from True Blood, etc.), so that's fun. If you go to Reddit you can see who most of the real players actually are.
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August 10, 2024**no star rating for memoirs**
Don’t let my lack of rating mislead you — I really liked this memoir. Normally, I’ll start a book and read just a chapter or two, but this book pulled me in instantly and I read it in one day. The writing style is very easy to read and the subject matter was so outrageous I forgot for a moment that I wasn’t reading fiction.
I can’t believe everything that Bethany went through. One of the worst parts (for me anyway) was how innocuously it started. It was supposed to be a group of friends doing a Bible study/meeting up to talk about their Christian lives and it devolved into THAT!
A lot of it was hard to read (especially the estrangement from her parents and friends not in the cult) but I liked that she found her strength. I also can’t believe they stole $2 million from her! I was sad she didn’t get it back, but I understand why she let it go. They really were vampires, sucking money instead of blood.
I’m glad she did what she had to do for the sake of her daughter.
Don’t let my lack of rating mislead you — I really liked this memoir. Normally, I’ll start a book and read just a chapter or two, but this book pulled me in instantly and I read it in one day. The writing style is very easy to read and the subject matter was so outrageous I forgot for a moment that I wasn’t reading fiction.
I can’t believe everything that Bethany went through. One of the worst parts (for me anyway) was how innocuously it started. It was supposed to be a group of friends doing a Bible study/meeting up to talk about their Christian lives and it devolved into THAT!
A lot of it was hard to read (especially the estrangement from her parents and friends not in the cult) but I liked that she found her strength. I also can’t believe they stole $2 million from her! I was sad she didn’t get it back, but I understand why she let it go. They really were vampires, sucking money instead of blood.
I’m glad she did what she had to do for the sake of her daughter.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 28, 2024
Bethany Joy Lenz is best known for her role as Haley James Scott on One Tree Hill. I love the show One Tree Hill, Haley and Nathan are one of my favorite tv couples. One Tree Hill despite lasting longer than 2 of my other favorite shows Dawson's Creek & Gossip Girl, it's rarely ever talked about. If you've never seen it but you love The Gilmore Girls I think you'll love OTH.
While being a star on that show Bethany Joy Lenz was in a cult. Bethany became a very strict Christian and upon moving to Los Angeles she wanted to find other Christians. Through a friend "Mina" she began attending Bible studies at an actor "Harker" house. Mina & Harker are not their real names Harker is Jonathan Jackson best known as Lucky Spencer on General Hospital. They are soon all brought into a group that calls themselves "The Family". Despite everyone else in her life trying to warn her about this group she falls deeper and deeper. She later marries a member of this cult and they have a child. Before all is said and done this cult will have stolen $2 million from her.
The title Dinner For Vampires fits perfectly. I was so angry reading this book. I hate authority and never do what I'm told. So seeing her be so submissive to these people was putting my teeth on edge. I wanted to shake her and she knows that how people feel but nothing could have saved her until she was ready to leave.
Such a good read. I could not put thus book down. I highly recommend Dinner For Vampires.
While being a star on that show Bethany Joy Lenz was in a cult. Bethany became a very strict Christian and upon moving to Los Angeles she wanted to find other Christians. Through a friend "Mina" she began attending Bible studies at an actor "Harker" house. Mina & Harker are not their real names Harker is Jonathan Jackson best known as Lucky Spencer on General Hospital. They are soon all brought into a group that calls themselves "The Family". Despite everyone else in her life trying to warn her about this group she falls deeper and deeper. She later marries a member of this cult and they have a child. Before all is said and done this cult will have stolen $2 million from her.
The title Dinner For Vampires fits perfectly. I was so angry reading this book. I hate authority and never do what I'm told. So seeing her be so submissive to these people was putting my teeth on edge. I wanted to shake her and she knows that how people feel but nothing could have saved her until she was ready to leave.
Such a good read. I could not put thus book down. I highly recommend Dinner For Vampires.
October 1, 2024
I wanted to love this but I did not. It’s like she’s the vampire pretending to speak the way she thinks a human should sound like. The tone is so curated it feels fake. It reads like a fiction author’s debut novel, including inconsistencies. The author said she didn’t watch tv growing up, but references iconic shows like I Love Lucy and Bewitched. I’m sorry but this memoir reminds me of Casey Hammer’s memoir. I am a huge One Tree Hill fan so it pains me that I didn’t like it but I received an advanced copy in exchange for my honesty.
The author uses the terms “plus sized” and “crackhead” which are really bizarre for a book published in 2024. Especially for someone on the show that made the term “size is just a number” a common phrase. Gave me the ick.
It was exhausting to hear example after example of abuse spanning 10 years to get to such an unsatisfactory conclusion. I will admit that her story is interesting and should be told. If she reaches even one person in an abusive relationship and/or cult, then it was worth it. Im happy others found it impactful, I just didn’t. I found her voice and writing style throughout the book to be a barrier. I couldn’t relate to her at all. It was like there was a wall up between the writer and the reader, even with how intimidate the details were.
The author uses the terms “plus sized” and “crackhead” which are really bizarre for a book published in 2024. Especially for someone on the show that made the term “size is just a number” a common phrase. Gave me the ick.
It was exhausting to hear example after example of abuse spanning 10 years to get to such an unsatisfactory conclusion. I will admit that her story is interesting and should be told. If she reaches even one person in an abusive relationship and/or cult, then it was worth it. Im happy others found it impactful, I just didn’t. I found her voice and writing style throughout the book to be a barrier. I couldn’t relate to her at all. It was like there was a wall up between the writer and the reader, even with how intimidate the details were.
October 26, 2024
Id been dining with vampires. No, I realized. I am the dinner
It takes a lot of courage to go into oneself and re-live time and again a traumatic experience in order to make sense of it, especially when it’s about issues that carry so much stigma and shame around them (for the victim, that is)
This memoir delves into unsteady territory, on one hand most of us love to learn about cults, what is it that makes humans fall for these sort of organized schemes?, but it mostly comes with a sense of fascination for the leaders of said groups, how do they manage to control so many people? What tactics do they use? But on the other hand we treat the victims as idiots, look at them with disdain believing we could never be a part of something like that. We are used to hearing the world cult even in a (sort of) positive light, when we talk about pop culture: cult movies, cult tv shows, cult artists, are used to refer to moments that have shaped our culture and have a great following.
It’s like he’s sitting around pulling puppet strings
What started as an innocent and pure Bible study group for a few young entertainers who were only trying to share their experiences and support each other, took a turn when a predator (who she calls Les) inserted himself in their space. He started slowly infiltrating, and getting to know them well, in order to find what he could use against them. These kind of people prey on others insecurities, and while pretending to help, maximize them, making them even more aware of it, until that self-hatred turns into isolation and trust issues.
I would just say that perhaps the reason you’re feeling more distant from your Family here at home is that you’re filling up your thought life with yourself, rather than with God and others
Using God as the vessel, he starts pouring narcissistic rhetoric, in order to assert himself as a God, and anyone who questions him is questioning God himself. He creates a new vocabulary, throwing around words like bio-family or illegal questions, only to feed the us-versus-them narrative.
If they don’t have a relationship with God, then they can’t give you wise counsel.
Lenz does a terrific job putting everything into perspective, her prose is clear, but it transports you to that time and place, using little elements that I’m sure she can’t possibly remember, but it adds up to the illusion and makes the reading more vivid. And she is extremely kind in her recollections, she doesn’t judge or blame anyone but herself (though in my opinion a lot of people failed her)
In the company of another hardworking woman, I thought just how proud I was and how severely the Family had diminished that pride, taught me that pride of any kind was wrong, instilled in me an omnipresent shame.
This was one of the most infuriating things to read. This group totally diminished women as subjects to men. Their value came from being a good wife to their husband blah blah blah (insert all that misogynistic crap) but the funniest thing was that none of the men in `control` had any job or legitimate source of income, they depended on the women`s hard work to provide for them. So it’s easy to see that their approach didn’t actually come from a sense of being alpha-men-me-strong-you-weak, but were genuinely pathetic parasites.
What a waste of space I was. A waste of talent. Of time. I had thrown away what little spare time I had chasing a God I was now not even sure existed, enduring years of abuse in a pathetic cult of selfish people, and living in a place where every dream I had went to die.
I am glad she seems to have shifted from this mindset, and has been able to reclaim her faith on her own terms. I can’t call her a victim, I choose to call her a dreamer. Dreamers, people who feel misplaced, and want to belong, people that want to believe there is something greater out there than what is being shown, and they see the warning signs, but mistake it with self-doubt, and judgement, because the vampires know what they’re doing.
It takes a lot of courage to go into oneself and re-live time and again a traumatic experience in order to make sense of it, especially when it’s about issues that carry so much stigma and shame around them (for the victim, that is)
This memoir delves into unsteady territory, on one hand most of us love to learn about cults, what is it that makes humans fall for these sort of organized schemes?, but it mostly comes with a sense of fascination for the leaders of said groups, how do they manage to control so many people? What tactics do they use? But on the other hand we treat the victims as idiots, look at them with disdain believing we could never be a part of something like that. We are used to hearing the world cult even in a (sort of) positive light, when we talk about pop culture: cult movies, cult tv shows, cult artists, are used to refer to moments that have shaped our culture and have a great following.
It’s like he’s sitting around pulling puppet strings
What started as an innocent and pure Bible study group for a few young entertainers who were only trying to share their experiences and support each other, took a turn when a predator (who she calls Les) inserted himself in their space. He started slowly infiltrating, and getting to know them well, in order to find what he could use against them. These kind of people prey on others insecurities, and while pretending to help, maximize them, making them even more aware of it, until that self-hatred turns into isolation and trust issues.
I would just say that perhaps the reason you’re feeling more distant from your Family here at home is that you’re filling up your thought life with yourself, rather than with God and others
Using God as the vessel, he starts pouring narcissistic rhetoric, in order to assert himself as a God, and anyone who questions him is questioning God himself. He creates a new vocabulary, throwing around words like bio-family or illegal questions, only to feed the us-versus-them narrative.
If they don’t have a relationship with God, then they can’t give you wise counsel.
Lenz does a terrific job putting everything into perspective, her prose is clear, but it transports you to that time and place, using little elements that I’m sure she can’t possibly remember, but it adds up to the illusion and makes the reading more vivid. And she is extremely kind in her recollections, she doesn’t judge or blame anyone but herself (though in my opinion a lot of people failed her)
In the company of another hardworking woman, I thought just how proud I was and how severely the Family had diminished that pride, taught me that pride of any kind was wrong, instilled in me an omnipresent shame.
This was one of the most infuriating things to read. This group totally diminished women as subjects to men. Their value came from being a good wife to their husband blah blah blah (insert all that misogynistic crap) but the funniest thing was that none of the men in `control` had any job or legitimate source of income, they depended on the women`s hard work to provide for them. So it’s easy to see that their approach didn’t actually come from a sense of being alpha-men-me-strong-you-weak, but were genuinely pathetic parasites.
What a waste of space I was. A waste of talent. Of time. I had thrown away what little spare time I had chasing a God I was now not even sure existed, enduring years of abuse in a pathetic cult of selfish people, and living in a place where every dream I had went to die.
I am glad she seems to have shifted from this mindset, and has been able to reclaim her faith on her own terms. I can’t call her a victim, I choose to call her a dreamer. Dreamers, people who feel misplaced, and want to belong, people that want to believe there is something greater out there than what is being shown, and they see the warning signs, but mistake it with self-doubt, and judgement, because the vampires know what they’re doing.
September 8, 2024
Wow, I haven't expected this book to be so intense and heartbreaking. As a longtime fan of One Tree Hill, I had no idea that behind the scenes of her acting success, she was living a secret double life in a cult. Her story moved me in ways I didn’t expect—it made me feel everything from disbelief to anger to empathy.
What really struck me was how slowly and subtly Lenz was drawn into The Big House Family cult. She starts by sharing how, as an only child longing for connection, she found solace in what seemed like a supportive Bible study group. I could feel how much she craved that sense of belonging, and it was heartbreaking to read about how this "family" eventually manipulated and controlled her. From minders on the One Tree Hill set to losing millions of dollars to the cult leaders, the way they took over her life was disturbing yet fascinating.
Lenz’s honesty about her experience is raw and powerful. She really lets you into her headspace, explaining how easy it was to fall under their influence, which made me reflect on how vulnerable any of us can be to manipulation. But as much as I loved her deep dive into that world, I wanted more about her journey out. It felt like the story of her escape from the cult wasn’t as detailed or nuanced as I’d hoped—there must have been more to the internal struggle that led to her finally breaking free.
Still, this book is an incredible read! Lenz has a real gift for storytelling and I sincerely hope this is just the first of many books from her. I’m so glad she shared her story, and I think it’s not only a must-read for One Tree Hill fans but for anyone curious about how cults operate and how someone can find the strength to rebuild their life after such intense trauma.
What really struck me was how slowly and subtly Lenz was drawn into The Big House Family cult. She starts by sharing how, as an only child longing for connection, she found solace in what seemed like a supportive Bible study group. I could feel how much she craved that sense of belonging, and it was heartbreaking to read about how this "family" eventually manipulated and controlled her. From minders on the One Tree Hill set to losing millions of dollars to the cult leaders, the way they took over her life was disturbing yet fascinating.
Lenz’s honesty about her experience is raw and powerful. She really lets you into her headspace, explaining how easy it was to fall under their influence, which made me reflect on how vulnerable any of us can be to manipulation. But as much as I loved her deep dive into that world, I wanted more about her journey out. It felt like the story of her escape from the cult wasn’t as detailed or nuanced as I’d hoped—there must have been more to the internal struggle that led to her finally breaking free.
Still, this book is an incredible read! Lenz has a real gift for storytelling and I sincerely hope this is just the first of many books from her. I’m so glad she shared her story, and I think it’s not only a must-read for One Tree Hill fans but for anyone curious about how cults operate and how someone can find the strength to rebuild their life after such intense trauma.
December 3, 2024
Big fan of “One Tree Hill”. Big fan of memoirs about cults. How could I resist? A better question is, “How did I read more than 50% of a book called ‘Dinner For Vampires’ before I realized that nearly all (maybe all?) of the pseudonyms in this book are famous characters from vampire literature, media and pop culture?” I am very dumb...
Don’t let my complete lack of awareness dissuade you... it’s a great book. I’m always fascinated by these types of stories. Lenz is a talented and accomplished artist, so it really should come as no surprise that this was as profound and also as funny as it was. This one was a rollercoaster.
Don’t let my complete lack of awareness dissuade you... it’s a great book. I’m always fascinated by these types of stories. Lenz is a talented and accomplished artist, so it really should come as no surprise that this was as profound and also as funny as it was. This one was a rollercoaster.
November 1, 2024
I do not typically rate memoirs but this one deserves 5 stars so that the goodreads rating stays high because this was SO GOOD. 10/10, can't recommend enough!
Joy has the most soothing voice, I could listen to her read anything and be enthralled and entertained. I was captivated from the start and honestly felt myself being sucked into the cult right along with her.
All that she endured is heartbreaking and was honestly hard to listen to at times. I'm so amazed that she was able to come out on the other side and I applaud Joy for putting her story out into the world.
Even if you know nothing about Joy and haven't seen One Tree Hill, I would still recommend you listen to this memoir because it was just that good!! I can't wait to reread/relisten!
Joy has the most soothing voice, I could listen to her read anything and be enthralled and entertained. I was captivated from the start and honestly felt myself being sucked into the cult right along with her.
All that she endured is heartbreaking and was honestly hard to listen to at times. I'm so amazed that she was able to come out on the other side and I applaud Joy for putting her story out into the world.
Even if you know nothing about Joy and haven't seen One Tree Hill, I would still recommend you listen to this memoir because it was just that good!! I can't wait to reread/relisten!
November 14, 2024
I really loved how honest and raw this was. Loved how she talked so much about her honest faith journey. It wasn’t tied up in a bow at the end because well…she’s still on the journey lol.
A lot of this was pretty hard to read with the manipulation and twisting of the Bible that the cult leaders were doing to her. That was 💔💔💔 and kind of triggering for me so make sure you’re in a good mental and emotional state before reading. But I will say, her writing style is very easy and lighthearted. She is so funny!
I wanted to just give Bethany Joy a big hug through so much of this. Such a strong woman and mom. I really really appreciate her telling her story in the way she did. Truly such a brave and humble woman.
When I wasn’t listening to this (the audiobook is amazing btw) I wanted to be. Pick it up!
A lot of this was pretty hard to read with the manipulation and twisting of the Bible that the cult leaders were doing to her. That was 💔💔💔 and kind of triggering for me so make sure you’re in a good mental and emotional state before reading. But I will say, her writing style is very easy and lighthearted. She is so funny!
I wanted to just give Bethany Joy a big hug through so much of this. Such a strong woman and mom. I really really appreciate her telling her story in the way she did. Truly such a brave and humble woman.
When I wasn’t listening to this (the audiobook is amazing btw) I wanted to be. Pick it up!
November 12, 2024
"The only way people change their perception of abuse survivors is if they are challenged."
I never watched "One Tree Hill" on my own. I've seen an episode or two at a friend's house, and that's about the extent of my knowledge about the show. I remember rumors circulating online that Joy was involved in a cult, but I didn't think much of it. I was always taught not to believe everything I hear or read, so I chose to turn a blind eye to what was right in front of me like the rest of the world.
You might be wondering, "Why did you decide to read this if you aren't a fan of the actress?" Well, for one, I love memoirs, biographies, tell-alls, and all the juicy gossip that comes with them. Plus, how can you resist anything related to cults? If that makes me weird, then sign me the hell up!
What an eye-opener! This book hits you like a ton of bricks, leaving you wanting to scream at her to open up her eyes. It was a difficult read—one that will weigh heavily on me for the rest of my life. It saddens and angers me that there are individuals in the world who prey on the vulnerable and exploit their insecurities. It's truly disgusting. I am incredibly proud of her for finally awakening to the truth and becoming a better person in the end.
I never watched "One Tree Hill" on my own. I've seen an episode or two at a friend's house, and that's about the extent of my knowledge about the show. I remember rumors circulating online that Joy was involved in a cult, but I didn't think much of it. I was always taught not to believe everything I hear or read, so I chose to turn a blind eye to what was right in front of me like the rest of the world.
You might be wondering, "Why did you decide to read this if you aren't a fan of the actress?" Well, for one, I love memoirs, biographies, tell-alls, and all the juicy gossip that comes with them. Plus, how can you resist anything related to cults? If that makes me weird, then sign me the hell up!
What an eye-opener! This book hits you like a ton of bricks, leaving you wanting to scream at her to open up her eyes. It was a difficult read—one that will weigh heavily on me for the rest of my life. It saddens and angers me that there are individuals in the world who prey on the vulnerable and exploit their insecurities. It's truly disgusting. I am incredibly proud of her for finally awakening to the truth and becoming a better person in the end.
November 8, 2024
This truly was an insane read. One Tree Hill was my favorite show growing up & Haley James Scott was my favorite character. Imagine my surprise & shock to know that her life was absolutely NOTHING like her character’s. You truly never ever know what someone is going through behind the scenes…
This memoir is 95% about the religious cult she was in for 10 years. It is disturbing to know that so many people have been mistreated & manipulated into these groups.
I am so happy that she got out of it and honestly thankful she wrote this memoir to raise awareness. Forever a fan of her!
This memoir is 95% about the religious cult she was in for 10 years. It is disturbing to know that so many people have been mistreated & manipulated into these groups.
I am so happy that she got out of it and honestly thankful she wrote this memoir to raise awareness. Forever a fan of her!
October 29, 2024
I feel so surprised by this book. I have loved Bethany Joy Lenz forever—- from the time she was inGuiding Light to her One Tree Hill days to her many Hallmark and Lifetime movies. She always plays a strong, confident, vivacious woman. That’s who I see her as. But based on this book, she was an insecure, easily manipulated young lady who fell into the hands of a cult for many, many years. I’m still trying to process it all.
November 18, 2024
Super interesting and loved listening to her narrate the audio versions my fave quote: “We are all little cathedrals of contradiction terrifying darkness & shocking beauty coexist in everyone & god doesn’t wait for us to clean out all the bad before celebrating the good it’d scandalous really that kind of love”
February 29, 2024
ECSTATIC IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT! Can't wait for this one. October, come quickly.
Read
December 3, 2024What a story…you say cult, I say I’m in (to read). But who knows, I was nominated most likely to join a cult…
This memoir gets fairly religious since it was a religious cult but you see the fault between the lines, religious or not. I was a big One Tree Hill fan so the parallel was insane! My heart goes to her, she really is a half glass full person with such a big heart. The audiobook is the ONLY way to go for reading this! She is an actress for a reason, people! Absolutely nailed it. You couldn’t stop me from listening if you could.
Now I need a One Tree Hill rewatch 😇 missing them bad. Loved the cameos in the audiobook!
This memoir gets fairly religious since it was a religious cult but you see the fault between the lines, religious or not. I was a big One Tree Hill fan so the parallel was insane! My heart goes to her, she really is a half glass full person with such a big heart. The audiobook is the ONLY way to go for reading this! She is an actress for a reason, people! Absolutely nailed it. You couldn’t stop me from listening if you could.
Now I need a One Tree Hill rewatch 😇 missing them bad. Loved the cameos in the audiobook!
December 5, 2024
this was an incredible rollercoaster but im so glad she is in a much better place in her life!
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