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Beau Eaton is the town prince, a handsome military hero with a tortured past.
I'm the outcast bartender, a shy girl from the wrong side of the tracks.

He's thirty-five and all man, I'm twenty-two and all . . . virgin. He's also my fiancé. Correction: my fake fiancé.

We start out as a bet. He doesn't believe that anyone holds my last name against me. So he offers me his to prove a point.

It's a win-win. He gets a break from his concerned family's prying, and I get a chance to shed my family's reputation while I save up to ditch this small town.

He says all I have to do is wear his ring, follow his lead, and pretend I can't keep my hands off of him in public.

But it's what happens between us in private that blurs all those carefully drawn lines . . .

It's what transpires behind closed doors that doesn't feel like pretending at all . . .

This engagement was supposed to be for show. This agreement? It has an end date.

He once told me he'd never fall in love.

And yet here I am, head over heels for my fake fiancé.

552 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 13, 2023

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About the author

Elsie Silver

24 books41.8k followers
Canadian author who loves a good book boyfriend and the sassy heroines who bring them to their knees. Connoisseur of charged looks and lingering touches. Big fan of witty banter. Horse girl through and through. Fully convinced that it's always wine o'clock somewhere.

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Profile Image for brooke (hiatus).
106 reviews10.4k followers
July 26, 2024
1.25 stars

the highlight of this book?? me finishing it tbh

i’m sorry but no one could pay me enough money to like this book or care for these characters. like seriously, what did i just read 😭 not one ounce of therapy was found in this book and both characters needed it (yes beau, i’m looking at you 🫵) given how beau’s character was set up in powerless, i thought this book would’ve focused on his trauma but it was completely overlooked. after everything he want through who knew that all it took to cure him was: a virgin, foot massages and buying a new motorcycle. his ptsd was handled so poorly in this story. bailey’s past and her trauma with her abusive family also could’ve been explored a little more. i’m ngl i was looking forward to beau’s story because i’ve always been curious about his character and i really wanted to learn more about him. but honestly nvm i take that statement back because i want to bleach this book from my brain immediately.

— bailey and beau are so boring and bland that i don't even want to talk about them. i'll just explain their characters using pictures instead.

bailey:
description

thinking about it, i think a plank of wood has more personality. we get it babes, you have a porn and sex addiction. honestly, her sex toy collection was far more intriguing than she was.

beau:

description

yes beau is the equivalent to that stale, nasty, crusty piece of bread at the end of the loaf. actually you could replace beau with that piece of bread and it probably would’ve been more exciting to read about <33


the age gap. i'm all for age gap romances, but this one didn't sit right with me. (i blame beau bc he would not shut up about it) but 22 and 35 just felt too weird to me, and i was constantly getting an icky vibe. i might have been able to overlook it if the trope was better executed, but it felt poorly written and it was annoying how beau was fixated way too much on their age gap. it didn’t need to be that heavily empathised. also the virgin/inexperienced heroine trope just isn’t for me.

beau drunk drives at the start and no one calls him out on it.. especially bailey. she just takes his keys away from him and makes him fkn chamomile tea for 2 whole hours. he’s the towns golden boy and town hero but no one tells him how he is putting innocent peoples lives in danger?? it’s also the fact he took NO accountability for it and was driving home drunk for two weeks. “BuT iTs jUsT fIcTiOnAl” that is a POOR excuse. fiction should responsibly reflect the real-world implications of dangerous behaviors, even if the characters and scenarios are imagined. don’t introduce serious topic then push it off to the side without addressing its consequences.

beau literally opens up to bailey about his PTSD and the traumatic event he went through and how he is trying to adjust to life after leaving the military and working at the ranch is boring and this girl then has the audacity to turn it all around and make him seem like a bad person. she literally goes on to say how privileged he is and that he’s out of touch with reality bc he hates his job and he should “try a little gratitude” GIRL WHAT?? NO ONE EVER LIKES THEIR JOB, GET TF OVER YOURSELF. like no wonder no one wants to fkn hire you. fuck off and take that attitude with you.

he calls her “sugar tits” 😐

the fmcs sex questions drove me insane. they were so cringy and it made her seem younger than what she was. the way she blatantly blurts out questions about beau’s sex life made me want to rip my eyes out. girlypop your inside thoughts needed to stay as INSIDE thoughts 😭

the reason why they get fake engaged is so stupid. getting a job should be about qualifications and skills not what ur last name is or who you are associated with. who cares if her family are outcasts. i also refuse to believe that these mmcs are in love, they made it seem like they had this deep soul-level connection, yet there was no chemistry between them whatsoever it was purely sexual.

beau’s obsession with bailey’s virginity was so weird. no seriously he constantly kept bringing up how precious her virginity was and my creep radar was pinging so high. bailey doesn’t care about it so why do YOU?? also why was this man continuously talking about how innocent bailey was compared to him. oh no bailey is this sweet, precious virgin and i’m going to ruin her 🥺 SHUT UPPPP. the power imbalance and him being more experienced was always obvious.

the bathtub scene. firstly, wtf??? secondly, WTF??? why was there a full detailed scene of him shaving her 🐱 (i really wish i was making this shit up) the way she was getting horny over him shaving her pubic hair had me screaming. pls this has to be satire. i should’ve dnfd the book there and called it a day. i get that beau’s love language is acts of service, but absolutely not 🙅🏻‍♀️ i was in physical pain reading that scene. if i could unread any scene from a book it would be this one.

insta-lust. immediate no. on chapter 1 beau is already fantasising about how bailey’s perfectly round boobs would fit so perfectly in his hands, just because he saw a “little peek of skin on her flat stomach” mind you she is literally at WORK. women can’t even work without being sexualised.

harvey eaton came to save the day AGAIN!! seriously, give this man his own book NOW. he is the comedic relief i desperately needed bc i was fighting for my life trying to finish this book.

chestnut springs series
#1 Flawless — 2.5 stars
#2 Heartless3.75 stars
#3 Powerless3 stars
#4 Reckless4.25 stars
#5 Hopeless — 1.25 stars
Profile Image for Destiny Sidwell.
92 reviews118k followers
October 16, 2023
4.5 ⭐️

My most anticipated book of the entire series and let me say Beau did NOT disappoint!

we (me) love an ‘acts of service’ love language so this was EVERYTHING

however, bailey unfortunately just wasn’t my fav character of the series so sometimes it took away from enjoying it but i still ATE THIS BOOK UPPPP!!!!

could not put it down my heart is so happy and i can’t wait for the new series 😉
Profile Image for Sara Carrolli.
63 reviews138k followers
October 2, 2023
1 I could read about these characters forever
2 I love Bailey sm
3 Someone please let me come to an Eaton family dinner
Profile Image for Heather Mclarry.
287 reviews39.3k followers
October 20, 2023
4.5⭐️ ELSIE ILY and thank you for the Eaton boys + Theo. Beau did not disappoint
Profile Image for chan ☆.
1,202 reviews57.3k followers
October 15, 2023
i must be coo coo for fucking cocoa puffs because this book had a "lemme shave ur pubes, baby" moment and a "lemme lotion ur dogs, snookums" moment and it's still a 5 star read.

i loved this. the characters were exactly what i like to see. emotionally damaged hero meets outspoken but slightly, realistically, insecure heroine who just wants dick? be still my beating heart. i loved the tone and pacing. liked the reveals. was dying for them to sleep together!! tbh can't remember the last time i didn't skim at least one smutty scene in a romance. but hey, elsie silver is a miracle worker.

live laugh love chestnut springs. sad to see it end but excited for the next series!
Profile Image for Ali Goodwin.
280 reviews37.2k followers
February 6, 2024
4.5 stars! IM SO SAD THIS SERIES IS OVER but so happy I read it💗 I LOVE all the Eaton boys and I'm so happy we got to see glimpses of all of them in this last book.

I 🫶🏼 Beau & Bailey. Bailey is so sweet and Beau is such a gentleman. They also both had hard backstories which made me want to give them both a big hug the entire book. I will now be impatiently waiting for Elsie Silver's new book, Wild Love, to come out
Profile Image for bruna.
130 reviews2,455 followers
October 23, 2023
★ 1.75 stars

this book is a lot of things, but good isn’t one of them.

i’m so upset because i’ve waited months to read this and my expectations were over the top, but it was such a letdown. easily the worst book in the series and, unfortunately, i don’t have good things to say about it.

➛ the plot? nonexistent.
➛ the main characters? bland.
➛ the romance? tedious.
➛ the writing? bad.

the first 20% of the book was interesting and sounded promising — that explains why i’m not giving it 1 star — but after that, things went downhill real fast.

let’s talk about the characters first.

Beau Eaton: he seemed great in the previous books and for that reason i’ve always wanted to know more of his character, i really thought i would love him and his personality. well, that was not what happened. sigh. Beau is genuinely one the most boring characters i’ve ever come across. it hurts to say that because i was literally counting the days to read about him, i had high hopes, and now... i can’t even express how much i am disappointed. don’t get me wrong, he’s not annoying or awful, not at all. he’s just uninteresting and has zero personality, honestly there’s nothing astonishing about him. also, i felt like his trauma/PSTD were barely addressed and poorly portrayed — which isn’t a surprise because it seems that the author couldn’t write his character well.

Bailey Jensen: don’t have a lot to say. the fact that i finished reading the book yesterday and i can’t recall much stuff about her character says a lot i guess. i mean, i liked Bailey in the first half (despite the fact that she said a bunch of embarrassing things) she was sassy, kind of funny, bold and had a backbone. now, in the second half, i started to found her boring and most of the time pathetic and extremely naive. practically lost all of my interest. and i didn’t like the way her abusive family topic was portrayed. throughout the series we saw glimpes of how awful they were, but in this book it was barely there.

stating the obvious: i couldn’t connect with neither of them, no matter how hard i tried.

the romance was... um... something. not something good, though. not exactly sure what i was expecting for their romance to be, but it was definitely not that. they were pretending to be engaged with each other for the majority of the book, but the reasons why they decided to fake an engagement in the first place were lame and made absolutely no sense. Beau & Bailey had no chemistry whatsoever, and even though there was some tension, i don’t think their relationship had a great buildup. all of sudden they were in love and i was like “how did that happen? did i miss something?” it was too rushed. and i was having second-hand embarrassment every two seconds reading their scenes together because most of them were cringey — especially that bathtub scene. i’m not going to explain what happened, but if you know you know. 👀



overall, Hopeless was a huge disappointment. with badly written characters and a story that wasn’t captivating, not even a bit. this book is the final installment of the Chestnut Springs series, but in my opinion, it didn’t feel like it, and it’s not only because the book was bad. i’ve finished lots of book series before and all of them had meaningful and memorable endings — however, i can’t say the same about this one. the ending was hollow, i think that’s the perfect word for it. i’d say that something was missing, but to be brutally honest, EVERYTHING was missing. i was expecting a long epilogue with a lot of details about all the couples, and all we got was a short and rushed one that didn’t satisfy me and left me thinking “that’s how it ends?” it was such a terrible way to finish a series. i wanted to DNF this book countless times, but i kept reading it just to see the ending and it didn’t pay off. i should’ve saved my time and energy.

──── ⋆☆⋆ ────

my ranking of the CS series:

1Heartless | ★ 4.5 stars
2Reckless | ★ 4.5 stars
3Flawless | ★ 3 stars
4Powerless | ★ 2 stars
5Hopeless | ★ 1.75 stars

───────────

pre-review:
i have been waiting for this book for months and now it’s finally time to read it! i’m so excited to read beau’s story, hope it doesn’t disappoint. here we go 🤞🏻
Profile Image for Alexa Raye.
44 reviews216 followers
October 22, 2023
forever one of my favorite series 💘 i will never stop thinking about this world & couples 🥹
Profile Image for ♥︎ Heather ⚔(Notification Issue).
820 reviews2,428 followers
November 14, 2024
I just made the executive decision to DNF the hell out of this @70%

╰┈➤ In fact- I didn't just DNF but completely wiped it off my iPad as if it never existed there lol.

Look, the virgin FMC is just not my cuppa. Especially when she keeps asking all kinds of weird 'curious' sexual questions to the MMC like she's some type of fucking toddler.

I had such high hopes for the ending of this series considering I sped binged my way through all 5 of them in 3 days I REALLY enjoyed and loved the first 4 but this one- I can't take the ick anymore.

Make it make sense. The FMC is portrayed as the town outcast because of her family but she's never done anything wrong personally and the way the town's people shun her... you would think she walked around town kicking puppies.

I don't think the author did a good job at developing her character especially but honestly, both of them were a little one dimensional.

╰┈➤ Where was the plot? Someone tell me if you find it.

It started out well enough but I never felt any chemistry between Bailey and Beau and her acting like a straight up 12 year old gave me the heebie jeebies.

Oh, and Bruna just reminded me - 'Sugar Tits.' Like gross and BYEEEE.

Shitty way to close the series out Elsie.
Profile Image for Emma Griffioen.
377 reviews3,297 followers
November 18, 2023
Disclaimer: This is going to be a rant review, and I will be mentioning spoilers, so read at your own risk. I am sorry in advance to everyone who loved this book!

I don’t even know where to begin with this book. I binged the first 4 books in the Chestnut Spring series earlier this year, and have waited months for book #5, so to say I am disappointed is an understatement.

This book didn’t work for me because Bailey and Beau didn’t work for me… at all. One of my main problems with them was the age gap. I’m sorry but no 35 has any business being with a 22 year old. If it had been a 13 year difference but Bailey was 25+ I would be like okay, but this whole thing just felt like a middle-aged man taking advantage of a young girl. And what made it worse was that they could not stop bringing up the age gap! It made Beau really gross to me. One quote from the book is literally Bailey thinking "There’s a sudden predatory vibe in the way he carries himself, in the way he moves." ??? That didn't help their case for me. My second problem was the fake engagement. It happened so fast and the reasons for doing it were dumb and unbelievable. If it had been to get her away and safe from her drug addict brothers, I could have been on board, but no. It was so she could be more respected in town to hopefully get a new job (which it didn’t help with at all), and so Beau could have a friend. But he is 35 and she is 22!!!

Both Bailey and Beau had no depth to them, individually, or in the relationship. Their flirting and banter were either non-existent, or cringy, and I felt no connection between them. They didn’t even do anything together besides talk about sex while skinny dipping in the dirty river, and talk to the local drunk Gary during Bailey’s shifts at the bar, while Beau drank tea. Bailey (who is a virgin by the way) had no personality, all she did was just randomly bring up sex anytime they were alone, which to me made her seem younger, and made the whole situation feel like infantilization. One thing I will give to Bailey is that she wanted to make enough money to move out of Chestnut Springs to be the first person in her family to go to university. But when she got into school all I could think about was her being a 22 year old in university with a 35 year old boyfriend. Beau suffers PTSD after serving in the Canadian military, yet we get basically no detail (other than he was missing for 8 days, maybe kidapped?) about what happened (he saved a friend or journalist, or something?) and why his feet are burnt (fire? bombs? who knows!). All we know is he wakes up at 2:11 am every night. Not to mention Beau should have been in therapy and should not have been using his 22 year old fake fiancé to “cure” his PTSD. His PTSD was never explored in a meaningful way. He also kept saying he “claimed her” and was constantly thinking about how Bailey was too young and how he shouldn’t be “doing this with her” which was a constant reminder of the gross age gap. He quite literally thinks: "But all I can think about is Bailey. The girl I’m supposed to be helping, not playing games with. I saw her today. The way she looks at me. How easily she told me she trusts me. She shouldn’t. And I shouldn’t have taken as much trust as I did. Said the things I did." GROSS He was also obsessed with biting Bailey and his nickname for her was “sugar tits”.

There were just so many weird scenes that I couldn’t look past. Toward the beginning of the book Beau mentions to Bailey that he drunk drives home from her bar every night and she’s literally just like hehehe 🤭 yet proceeds to take Gary’s keys every night. Huh??? The bathtub scene is burned into my memory forever. I don’t even know how that made it through the editing it was so fucking weird! I also hated the scene where he breaks up with her, she starts crying, says a few things, takes off the engagement ring, and runs to her trailer. After too long he’s like “JK I want to cut this off so we can start it for real!” Like why wouldn’t you say something as soon as she started crying??? It felt like drama for no reason. Like Elsie Silver couldn’t fully commit to the third act breakup.

Aside from Bailey and Beau, Harvey getting together with his dead wife’s sister was HORRIBLE. I was talking to my friend Kate about it and she said if her sister did that to her she’d haunt her forever, and I couldn’t say it better myself.

The 1 star I’m giving this book is fully for Willa, my favourite Chestnut Springs character. Luke calling her mom was so cute and they named their daughter Emma! So one star for that hahaha. I couldn’t wait for this book to end, and it sucks for the series to end this way. I recommend reading the first 4 books in this series and pretend this one doesn’t exist.

Read my reviews for the Chestnut Springs series here: 🤠💘
#2 Heartless: Willa and Cade's book - 4 stars
#1 Flawless: Summer and Rhett's book - 3.5 stars
#4 Reckless: Winter and Theo's book - 3.5 stars
#3 Powerless: Sloane and Jasper's book - 3 stars
#5 Hopeless: Bailey and Beau's book - 1 star
Profile Image for siff ♡.
157 reviews1,180 followers
November 20, 2023
➵ 1.25 stars
“𝙒𝙚’𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙣, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨. 𝙀𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙚’𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜.”


i don’t even know how or what to start with. i’m honestly so disappointed with this book, because it was one of my most anticipated reads, and there’s just no feeling worse than that, okay that’s a lie, reading about the beau shaving the bailey’s pubic hair, might just beat it. this whole book was just one big ass flop. i love book two, three, and four in this series so much, and i’d totally still recommend them 100 percent, especially when you enter your cowboy/dilf era. plus have y’all seen the fanart on my man theo silva (from the fourth book) ? till my knees are red. anyways back to the book, uhm just trust me and stay away from this one <3

summary:
beau is known to be the “hero” of the small-town chestnut springs, everyone adores him. he’s been in the military, and is now recovering from a traumatic experience. bailey works at the bar where beau spends most of his days, but beau has never really seen her before. bailey is the outcast bartender, form the wrong side of the tracks. she’s always been shy, and is always hiding herself away from the world. they start talking, and later on they make a bet. their fake engagement starts as a bet, but that escalates quickly.

characters:
bailey jansen / sugar tits
okay so where do i even start ? absolutely insufferable. i hated her guts with burning passion. five minutes alone in the same room as this girl, and i would’ve killed myself. she made the absolutely weirdest comments, and no i can’t just call it a “bailey thing” and be done with it, because it actually made me wanna pour bleach into my eyes. she was so childish, immature, pathetic, and just unreasonably annoying, in my eyes. and istg she nearly made my skin crawl off my body. i honestly don’t know how beau managed to not get uncomfortable with some of the questions she asked, because istg even i got uncomfortable, and i’ve read some fucked up shit. e. g. her asking if he’d ever done anal, had a threesome… etc. and it was always so out of context, and just plain wired.

“𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙡𝙚𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙-𝙜𝙪𝙮 𝙖𝙘𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙝𝙚’𝙨 𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙮 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜.”


beau easton
my mama always told me “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then say it anyway”, so that’s exactly what i’m gonna do. again where do i even start ? i cannot stand this man. he needs to be at least 10 meters away from me at all time. and i’m really trying to have some sort of compassion with this guy, because of the things he’s been through, but that’s nearly impossible atp. i got the ick every time he opened his stupid mouth. i would’ve appreciated it, if he had been mute. he was wired, creepy, treated bailey like she was a job, etc. i cannot believe that this is the same man as in the previous four books. and somehow this guy possesses the ability to make up the worst nicknames known in history, like please wtf is “sugar tits” and “sugar”, it gave me the creeps istg.

“𝙄’𝙢 𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝘽𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙮 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙗𝙖𝙙.”


- now what do you get when you put two insufferable characters together ? you get the urge to kill yourself. no because these two together made me physically gag. they gave me father and daughter kinda vibes, obviously except the sexual tension, but beau acted like he was bailey’s dad, and i can even blame him, because bailey literally acted like a child. everything about them gives me the creeps. and i’m so happy to finally be free of them.

i can’t even tell y’all about the smut, because i skimmed like 90 percent of it, which is very unusual. but from what i actually read, it was horrible. i mean seriously, the guy went down on her right after he shaved her pubic hair. this book was just such a disappointment ! it honestly started out okay, and kind of cute, but then everything just went downhill from there. i mean a whole chapter of him shaving her pubic hair into a triangle ? how am i supposed to continue my life after that ? my deepest apologies to all of the girlies i sent the whole scene to, but y’all had to suffer with me, so i’m really not that sorry.

quotes:
“Tell me how to make you feel okay.”
“Don’t stop touching me.”


“Bailey makes 2:11 better.”

“What are you doing?”
“Kissing my fiancée.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to.”


“Bailey. You are doing nothing wrong. You have done nothing wrong. Anyone who talks shit about you is cruel and small-minded and not worthy of your attention. You are fucking perfect.”

“I adore every version of her.”

“Just ignore me. I’m having a put-of-body experience.”
“Bailey. I’m not ignoring you.”
“You should.”
“Impossible. I’m memorizing you.”


“I’m so fucking hung up on you, it’s not even funny.”

“I don’t think has ever loved me.”
“Then let me be the first too.”


“When it comes to you, I’m downright hopeless.”

tropes; small town romance, military romance, forced proximity, fake marriage, age gap, tortured hero, and virgin heroine

trigger warnings; a lot of talk about feet, pubic hair shaving, and you’ll want to die multiple times while reading

(now this review is mostly for the fun of it, but i also mostly mean every single thing i said)
------
pre-review:
idk what to read so i might as well just finish this series. wish me luck tho, cuz i have not heard many great things about this one 😭
Profile Image for April (Semi-hiatus work is busy).
114 reviews218 followers
May 28, 2024
2.5 Stars ☆

“No, sugar. When it comes to you, I’m downright hopeless.”


I'm not even sure where to start. There were things that worked for me and things that did not. I don't feel like this was a good story to end the series on. There were things that were too much into detail and others that just simply needed more.

Hopeless is the last book in the Chestnut Springs series. It's a small town, fake engagement, military hero, virgin heroine, age gap romance. There was some tension and banter, but not as much as I liked. We get a glimpse into the trauma and ptsd and some healing, but I feel like it was lacking depth here. I will say that for me, the virgin trope works better if it's the mmc, and this was an example of that. I just feel like it's written better. I enjoyed some of this but had issues, too.

Beau is home from the military recovering from an assignment that turned into a traumatic experience. He is struggling mentally and having a difficult time dealing with everyone, labeling him the towns "hero." He goes into the local bar one afternoon to gather himself. It's there that he finds solace in the company of the bartender Bailey. The two form a friendship that leads into them making a bet for an arrangement of a fake engagement to help each other out.


Beau Eaton was a more interesting character in the previous books. He has sarcastic humor, which I enjoyed at times. I would have enjoyed this about him more if we saw more of his trauma as it felt like it was used as a cover up for it rather than showing the detail and depth of what that traumatic experience felt like. I wanted to feel his pain and healing of this that "altered" his life. I also feel like his impulsiveness was a way that hid the depth. These are the things that didn't work for me. On another level, I did enjoy his impulsive side as we all need to be every now and then. What worked for me was his protectiveness and his rough yet gentleness. I didn't hate Beau, but I didn't love him either.

"One of my biggest struggles is going from feeling so needed, so important, so integral to a mission to . . . not. But with Bailey, I feel like she needs me, and I need her."


Bailey Jansen
is the girl who has a bad reputation due to things her family has done. This was something that I would have like to see more depth of, but unfortunately, we didn't get much of a description or backstory. Despite this, she is stronger than I thought she would be. However, she is also immature and acts like a bratty adolescent at times. Did I feel for her because of how she was treated? I absolutely did. I would think, though, that would make her more mature. There were things that I did like about her. Though she was mostly quiet, around Beau, she was outspoken and asked the most random unfiltered shit that had me cackling at times. Most of it was about sex as she was a virgin, and she felt comfortable enough to ask him. At times, I thought just ask Google, lol. I was routing for her when she stood up for herself amongst the patrons in the bar, but that was really the only time. I didn't connect with her much, but I didn't hate her.

“If we’re struggling, we’re still in motion, yeah? Heading somewhere better. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.”


Beau and Bailey
have similar personalities, though their traumas are different. I thought that they would have more chemistry due to this. Things just felt rushed with them, and we didn't get an in-depth relationship. Part of the reason I also feel this way is because Beau also thinks about how young she is to him. This just got annoying and repetitive. It made it feel like because of the age difference that he didn't want to be with her or wasn't fully in it, in my opinion. The other thing that didn't work for me was the nickname. They tried out different nicknames she didn't like any. I didn't see anything wrong with some of them, but then we settled on sugar tits ugh why. The bathtub scene definitely didn't do it for me. I'm not sure why Elsie thought this would be romantic in any way. These two things were just so cringe. There was one thing that I did love about them, and that is that Bailey helped Beau with his nightmares that woke him every morning at 2:11. She found ways to make positive memories out of it.

“My pain disappears when I’m with you. I get to be a new version of myself when I’m with you. I sleep. I laugh. I have something— someone— to look forward to at the end of the day. I feel . . .”
“I feel whole again with you.”



As always, the found family in this is so good. We didn't get as much of the other characters in this one as I would have liked. That would have made it so much better.

There was a third act conflict that didn't need to be added. I am sad to be saying goodbye to this series even though a couple of the books didn't work for me entirely. I still want Chestnut Springs to be a real place that I can go visit or live. The next best thing would be to become a part of this wholesome family.


Favorite quotes and moments

"Bailey makes 2:11 better."

“Bailey. You are doing nothing wrong. You have done nothing wrong. Anyone who talks shit about you is cruel and small- minded and not worthy of your attention. You are fucking perfect.”

“I don’t think anyone has ever loved me.”
“Then let me be the first to do that too"

"When it comes to you, I’m downright hopeless.”


~~~~~~

Pre-review: I've not seen the best about this one. Giving it a go since I don't like leaving series unfinished. Wish me luck 🫣
Profile Image for Ayman.
274 reviews114k followers
March 5, 2024
i gotta start off my saying that the mouth on Beau mf Eaton needs to be studied. the bluntness of this man had me doing backflips.

one of my favorite things about this book was the well rounded characters. so layered and nuanced and real and raw. the way i’d move mountains for Bailey is insane. i love her to pieces. my self respect left my body when they woke up together at the lake. i obliterated when he rubbed the back of her calves on that motorcycle. the protectiveness Beau shows Bailey makes me ache because WHY CANT MEN BE LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE?! IT GETS ME SO HEATED!!

The patience Beau gives Bailey made me cry happy tears. the 24/7 supportiveness and reassurance that he’s always gonna be there even when times are tough made me wanna drink bleach. im so glad they both got everything they were looking for. if u look closely at the end of the book you can see them stepping over my dead body😭

also idk if this was just me but i feel like i have to get this off my chest (and please no one come for me) but i CANT with the way she lost her virginity being on top. i ain’t shaming but can we bring back tradition?

ranking (this includes the couples):
1) reckless (duh)
2) heartless
3) hopeless
4) flawless
5) powerless (whatever tf that book was)
Profile Image for luna_inthesouth.
141 reviews407 followers
May 28, 2024
I'm going to pretend I didn't read this, cuz how on earth this one is the same series as Hopeless and Powerless🤧?

1.5 stars 🌟

Rant review coming and possible spoilers! read at your own risk!

FIRST the nickname? Sugar tits, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? The way I cringed throughout the book at those weird conversations, like I do like the age gap trope, but it was done so TERRIBLY that he appeared so cringy, and she acted WAY TOO unhinged and not mature for her age. She is 22, but she acted SO childishly almost all the time! I'm not going to write her weird ass comments here because I've suffered enough to read them twice in order to write them here, JUST DON'T ASK ME TO!


The plot didn't have much to offer but all those nonsense conversations and her being overly obsessed over wanting to have sex with him and making it her personality and mentioning her virginity over and over again, all that aside I could not even feel their chemistry for a second they were just TOO horny for all I care!


I was thinking maybe she could explore more on the mental health part which could make the book better, but THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN, so why even mention it when you can't pull it off because it's a highly IMPORTANT and sensitive subject to leave it like that! Not to mention again he's 35, and she's 21 to deal with his PTSD when he's having night terrors! I do respect that she did whatever she could to soothe him, but he needed professional help!

And don't get me started on the bathtub scene CUZ WHY YOU WROTE THAT ,JUST WHY??????, and she kept saying I'm inexperienced, like girl what it has to do with the experience that you had to CALL him to help ffs? I genuinely need bleach to wipe this scene and the whole book off my brain!


︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

The audiobook was 5/10 just for Beau's narrator " Jason Clarke "! The female narrator felt too robotic!



-----------------------------
pre-read

Going to read the last one in the series!!🥺
Profile Image for Phuong ✯.
675 reviews8,304 followers
October 18, 2023
– 2 stars

I just finished this book a second ago and can't tell you what the main characters names are .. I think they both start with a B ???? Lemme call them bland and boring. Bland and Boring were the true definition of the book title. Hopeless indeed.

Elsie Silver is such a hit or miss author for me so far. Heartless and Reckless have been *chef's kiss* and so good, but I can't tell you a single thing about the rest of the series. 💀
Profile Image for Lilyya ♡.
485 reviews2,967 followers
October 16, 2023
RTC 🤭
———
ITS HERE GAHHJS we’re so spoiled this month with releases!!! so freaking excited
———
omg since she was introduced in 'Heartless' with having a crush on Cade i just knew she would end up with Beau🥺 and ES with the fake dating arc ? that’s new but ik she’ll master it😋
and the way the two families have beef against each other habsjs cant wait
Profile Image for Mel.
149 reviews12.7k followers
March 20, 2024
will probably revisit this rating in 24 hours once i make up my mind🫨
Profile Image for busyreadingwithASD⋆.ೃ࿔*:・.
220 reviews75 followers
Read
October 17, 2023
Can’t decide on a rating because I love these characters both so so much and love their love but didn’t like how fast this book was written, since these 2 deserved so so much. I like how much sitting-on-lap there was though, as well as long hand kisses🥰🫠 brb writing BeauxBailey friends-to-lovers age-gap fanfic now byeee💚

Original review:

Excuse me while I cry because I adored these characters and have thought about them since June but this was so not what this book should have been.

Canadian books are always special to me because it’s my country yeehaw🇨🇦 However, the pacing in the book was quite weak, which meant that it distracted me from just how much these two were falling deeper and deeper for each other. I’ve been wanting Beau and Bailey’s story since book 1, but I should have known to read this when I was a bit calmer and less stimulated cuz #autism because final books in the series are always a bit too much for me (especially in a week that has been very overstimulating).

So I’m kind of devastated about this book and have cried about it because it had a ton of potential but fell short of it probably due to the fact that it was written in the span of months.

Okay so Beau was my favourite brother. Full on adored him. Still do. Adore Bailey too. But this book had so much potential and fell short of that potential because of the fact that it was written in the months following the release of book 4, which means that this book was not written with a ton of time or shall we say, care . And in some parts that lack of time spent or care given definitely showed.

The excellent parts of this book are just that: excellent. They show the value of putting detail into work and the talent of Ms. Silver’s writing (tender moments, random acts of kindness and humour, etc). But the boring plot points of the book show just how unfortunate it is when a book is rushed and additionally, why it is important to not write for anyone else but yourself. Because while Summer and Rhett (book 1, for example) aren’t everyone’s favourites (love them so much omigod lol), there’s no denying that that is a SOLID book and extremely re-readable and that's because of the good pacing.

I also want to point out the lack of research on the super dynamic work of the JTF2 Unit. In a podcast, Ms. Silver said that they are the equivalent to the American Marines, but they’re actually way more qualified, intelligent, strong, and talented than the Marine Corps in the United States. The JTF2 is the only non-American division that is classified as being just as good/qualified as Navy SEALS. If the United States, for example, has a problem, they contact the JTF2. But the JTF2 in Canada is particularly interesting because they’re top secret and really don’t receive *any* media attention here in Canada. None. Basically, they are incredibly strong, smart, and crazy disciplined… which is why Beau’s character didn’t always make sense (from a research perspective).

Some people had an issue with the way therapy was discussed in the book, but I didn’t really care about that because as an autistic, I’m used to reading about different interpretations of therapy and disability and all that, so I just skim over that stuff and don’t really care. And like culturally, out in the country and all that, I recognize that that stuff is different. What I cared more about was the poor pacing of the book for 2 wonderful characters who deserved better pacing in their goddamn book! And characters who I've been rooting for since book 1 no less!!!

I am just so so so incredibly sad about this book because it has taken up brain space for the last 6 months, so.

For the most part, any time we were getting a bit deeper with these characters, it was like the author just snatched that tenderness away and replaced it with something else entirely. The connections to families? Gone. The connection to one's country and community? Gone. The nerves of falling for someone who both think is out of their league? Gone. The real discussions of PTSD and nobody wanting to help you out in a way that is suitable to you? Nonexistent. What it's like to be a poor girl who is young but mentally 10-15 years older than literally everyone around her? Not there. What it's like to be that same girl and have someone older want to take care of her and love her? None of that depth was written in this book, which is a shame because these characters would have been SO suitable for that.

Here are some things that I would have added to the story (that we did not get in this book) and what I’ll be writing in my notes app for calming purposes:
More Canadian culture!! I didn’t feel like I was reading a book from my country and I really missed that.
Bonding with Cole and Violet
All of the couples going to the fair and the girls watching Beau watch Bailey (and Luke) play a game at the fair
Toxic Jansen brothers (where were they)
Toxic Jansen father (where was he)
Bailey legit soothing Beau during a thunderstorm or something while having dinner at Harvey’s (that would have been great)
BAILEY giving Beau a haircut!! (His hair was a big deal to me) and it also could have expanded on his trauma
More siblings
More internal monologue
More description of their history (these 2 have known each other for years)
Less focus on age and more focus on how they’re literally the same person which is what makes them so compatible
I would have loved to have seen Beau take Bailey to a medal ceremony or something and her be his comfort
Discussion of mothers and death
Profile Image for ellie.
347 reviews3,337 followers
October 29, 2023
it’s hard to root for the hero when he admits he drunk drives home from the bar every day and drinks enough alcohol that it allows him to fall asleep instantly and sleep through the night…

and it’s hard to root for a heroine who doesn’t even reprimand this dangerous and god awful behaviour, and instead just sighs and says “go sit down, i will make you some chamomile tea, mr. big bad soldier 🥹🥺”

he’s 35 years old, Bailey. believe it or not his frontal lobe is fully developed. you are allowed to hold him accountable 🫶🏻

dnf @ 6%
Profile Image for Madison Kait౨ৎ.
138 reviews3,002 followers
May 9, 2024
the finality of this book & the end of the chestnut springs era & eaton family is emotional ♡ was it my fav from the series, definietly not - but i am so sad to be leaving chestnut springs ☆
Profile Image for rei ‧₊˚✩彡.
87 reviews163 followers
December 1, 2024
╰┈➤ 5 stars!


my initial thought when i was about to read this book was: the majority didn’t like this so i might not like it as well. as it turns out, given the stars i’ve rated it, i’m hella wrong!!

౨ৎ bailey. this woman had be through so much. i hate everyone who judged her because of her family background, like no one deserves that. she couldn’t live freely because people assumed that she’d just end up like the rest of her family, which is sad because all she wanted was a chance to be seen as bailey and not as bailey jansen. everything that her family had done, she’s not part of it, and it clearly shows how much she tried to get away from it.

౨ৎ beau. i honestly get why other people are saying that they think his character didn’t match up with how he had been portrayed in the other books of this series. let me tell you that i also think that’s true, but that’s also because that was the beau before the incident happened. anyone who went through that would be different, i believe. his life changed all of a sudden while doing his job. it had been traumatizing for him that it really affected him as a character, but i didn’t think it was bad at all. he lost his job, wallowed in the emotions his feeling, bailey gave him a reality check, slowly got back on track with his life.

overall, this book turned out to be my favorite, like it's the same level with reckless! it was so good, and i didn’t have high expectations but i think i should’ve had! everything was written so well, from their struggles to their love. the way their story was written was different from most of the marriage of conveniences i’ve read because they weren't exactly friends but they definitely do not hate each other as well.

・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・

pre-read:

going through this series a little bit faster than i expected, but it’s just so good! kinda scared with this though because i’ve read mixed reviews about it!
Profile Image for Christy.
4,294 reviews35.3k followers
September 30, 2023
5 stars

IMG_8502

Elsie Silver is killing it with this ‘Chestnut Springs’ series. I know I can be a picky reader at times (especially when it comes to my 5 star favorites) but every book in this series has been such a hit. It’s so rare to read a series where every single book is 5 stars, but here we are. Welcome to Chestnut Springs!

Beau Eaton is the one I’ve been waiting for. He used to be a lighthearted and fun Eaton, but his time in the military changed that. Now he’s got that tortured/damaged hero vibe we all love. Bailey Jensen was born into the wrong family. She’s sweet and shy, but her father and brothers are nothing but trouble and she can’t get ahead in Chestnut Springs with the Jensen name.

Beau and Bailey become friends and Beau has this idea. Maybe Bailey would get better opportunities and people would treat her with more respect if she was going to be an Eaton… hence the fake dating/fake engagement. We all know that fake dating turns into real feelings and I was more than here for that!

I loved Bailey and Beau together so so much! I just wanted to give them both the biggest hug. Bailey needed someone to love her and care for her so badly. She’s never had that. And she was there for Beau in ways that his family couldn’t be. I adored them both.

Hopeless such an incredible read. I couldn’t love this Eaton family more. All the funny moments (thanks Harvey) and heartwarming scenes, and how love just radiates from the pages. This one was emotional, but still kept a big smile on my face. This series has been epic from start to finish and if you haven’t read these books, I can’t recommend them enough!
Audio book source: Bookfunnel ALC
Story Rating: 5 stars
Narrators: Jason Clarke & Angelina Rocca
Narration Rating: 4.5 stars
Genre: Romance
Length: 11h 17m

Profile Image for Jessica .
2,352 reviews15.3k followers
October 18, 2023
I was so excited for Beau's book and was ready for a super emotional romance. Unfortunately, Beau's story took a different path and it wasn't as emotional or deep as I wanted it to be. The book definitely focused more on Bailey's own conflict and trauma instead of showing a deeper side to Beau. I'm not sure I really bought their fake dating story and the age gap felt VERY age gap since Bailey was a virgin. I just felt a bit weird when Beau would talk about her in a physical sense since she was 13 years younger and a virgin and he kept on saying he was too old (he's 35).

I would have also loved more of a plot than what we got. They hung out and went to family dinner, but I wanted there to just be more to the story than there was. I wasn't emotionally invested in the characters and wasn't excited for their story as it continue. I've given every book in this series five stars and just hyped this one too much in my head.

I did love the scenes between Jasper and Beau and loved all of the family scenes. I just wished I loved the romance more.
Profile Image for lexie.
352 reviews245 followers
April 26, 2024
if he shaves your pubes ladies and gentlebitches, he’s a…keeper? 👀💍

i’m sorry if a clump of pubey bath water swam up to him i would never recover
Profile Image for Ri ♡ .
436 reviews1,515 followers
March 11, 2024
“No, sugar. When it comes to you, I’m downright hopeless.”

I want to pack my bags and leave for Chestnut Springs right now. This series is the best and my favourite small town I've ever read. The bond all the families and the couples shared, Eaton family and brothers, female friendships, the love and friendship, siblings love, parental love and responsibility and care. Everything about this place and series was filled with love, happiness and hope.

Hopeless is a perfect blend of humour, spice, banter and emotion. It's about two broken people finding their way on their own. It was bittersweet reading this book and I'm a little sad that this series is now completed but Hopeless was a beautiful read and a perfect book to end this epic small town series. Before Chesnut springs, small town romance books rarely worked for me. But the magic and beauty of chestnut springs that Elsie blended in with the relatable and amazing characters and their happy and incredible stories were everything for me to fall in love with this series. Reckless is my absolute favourite of this series and Theo is my favourite man but all the men in this series were Chef's kiss (Not the milk hater Rhett). And I like how Elsie writes her FMCs—strong willed and yet the sweetest and kindest women.


“We’re symbiotic, you and me. Without you, this version of me doesn’t exist. Without the next version of you, the next version of me doesn’t exist either. We’re going to grow together.”



Elsie is an amazing writer and I love how she never fails with any new tropes she writes. This book has age-gap and virgin fmc which is quite a hit or miss trope in books. I loved the fake-dating trope and all the swoon-worthy moments but I was bothered by how there was a little too much focus on Bailey being 22 year old and a virgin and how Beau can't stop thinking about how old he is and how little she is and how he didn't wanted to take advantage of her even though Bailey told him it was fine if they had sex or not. I wish of there was a bit more focus on the Bailey's character development than this whole she is virgin and I'm too old for her. I want to talk about that popular Bathtub scene but I don't know how I feel about that. It was hot but also a bit cringe for my taste or should I say unhygienic?


➸ Bailey Jensen

She seems all sweet and tender but behind all that facade is a girl with bold and valiant personality. She's broken by her own family and wants to escape her past and her miserable life by leaving Chesnut Springs. Her sense of humour was quirky and she has a penchant for asking sex related questions to Beau because she's a virgin and does not shy away from that fact. Honestly, all her questions were funny and stupid in a way and I liked the effect she had on Beau with them. I also liked how determined she was when it comes to her goals and how she navigated her life after all the struggles and pain she went through.


“Wherever you’re hanging from… I think I’m on the same hook.”



➸ Beau Eaton

The Chesnut Spring's prince and tortured hero as Bailey and Elsie likes to call him. He is amazing no doubt and he's my third favourite Eaton brother (Jasper is second and Yes Rhett you are the last.) I was so eagerly waiting for his book and to finally know about what broke him so much that turned him into this dark and lonely person. Beau was mostly described as this boy with golden retriever energy in all the past chapter of previous books of this series and it was apparent that something big and tragic must have happened to him to break him beyond repair. Bailey was like a ray of sunshine and hope in his life and he liked to be with her because of how she never treated him differently — like he was some broken thing need to be fixed.


“I adore every version of her.”



╰┈➤ Beau and Bailey

Beau was so hopelessly obsessed with her and the way he was so affectionate and protective of her. I mean he waited till midnight in the bar she worked drinking chamomile tea so she could be safe and even got fake-engaged so she could have a job. Their banter was hilarious. She acts up and he calls her a brat. Their dynamics worked so well. I was laughing my ass off everytime Bailey said or ask something inappropriate and Beau was always like “what the fuck Bailey”. Bailey being a little curious cat was a threat to his sanity. They are perfect for each other.


“Just ignore me. I’m having an out-of-body experience.”
“Bailey. I’m not ignoring you.” She licks her lips. “You should.”
“Impossible. I’m memorizing you,”



I loved the way they both helped each other to find their purpose in their life. It was lovely to see the way Beau always encouraged and empowered Bailey that she is whoever she wants to be and that her financial status and her family name doesn't define who she is. The way Bailey was their for him when he was having nightmares and how they made a new memories for the tragic 2.11 AM for Beau.


“Bailey makes 2:11 better.”



The ending didn't need that third-act breakup in my opinion and one of my reason for the 4 stars for this book. Anyway, I liked how they both are giving a try to their new future together and I loved the epilogue and it was most perfect thing in this book. Willa and Cade's wedding was the perfect ending to this series! I am gonna miss all of them so much 🥺🫶🏼


Bailey turns to me, eyes bright, smile wide, cheeks rosy. “This is… this doesn’t feel like alone together. This just feels like together- together.”
With one hand, I grip her chin, watching her eyes dance between mine. I kiss her hard. My better half. My other half.
“That’s us, sugar. Together- together.”
Profile Image for shei ღ (very busy).
233 reviews1,022 followers
August 30, 2024
—— 1.75 ✰ stars.

”When it comes to you, I’m downright hopeless.”


ugh I thought I would have been ready for this to be bad, but I was wrong. I can’t believe Elsie wrote Powerless and Reckless and then… this shit.

plot:

this book follows Bailey’s and Beau’s point of view. he is a retired soldier and she is the bartender of one of Chestnut Springs bars.

everyone loves Beau, but everyone hates and mistreats Bailey due to her family bad reputation. Beau decides he wants to help her giving her his surname, Eaton, so they start a fake engagement as a bet.

overall thoughts

I swear to god this was the most boring and stupid plot ever, the reason they start a fake relationship is so stupid, the book is boring, flat and has zero purpose.

The way the author handled the alcoholism, which is very short, the ptsd, the age gap and the fmc virginity it’s just, horrible. There is no help for the ptsd at all, when the first thing you need is a fucking doctor, but no, everything get resolved by sex and foot massages lol.

The age gap, that by the way, I’m a huge fan of, was done poorly, because Beau had a fucking fixation on it, same with Baileys virginity.

And don’t even get me started on the fucking smut, I would LOVE to ask the author in which concrete moment of her life she decided that pussy shaving was hot? I’m a very sexually open person, I don’t kink shame anyone, but this is just not hot. I’m sorry.

Beau Eaton

if I could define Beau, it will be like this: “he is like that last loaf of the bread that is crusty and no one wants to eat bc it’s boring and not tasty”

He has no personality whatsoever, or any kind of development during the book. He is just grumpy because his family wants to help him, and his problems are resolved by fucking Bailey I guess!

Who needs a therapist when you can have coochie!

I’m so sad because Beau’s character was promising, but at the end of the day, he ended up being insipid.

Bailey Jensen

She is as interesting as the rock that stuck in my shoe this morning. Girly is obsessed with sex in a cringe and pathetic way.

Girl we get it, you are a virgin and you want to have sex, but blurting questions to others like “have you ever had anal sex” or talking about your dildo collection is not funny neither cute. Neither is saying shit like this:

“My eyes go wide when they land on his dick. It’s like a porn dick. But flaccid. I stare, trying to figure out if it’s just the angle or if it’s the fact I haven’t seen a penis in real life. Maybe the scale is different.”

bye fucking bye bitch.


bailey + beau

”I love you, soldier”


I have more chemistry with my thermostat than these two. And he calls her, sugar tits. Which is a crime to humanity, books, and romance.

The romance is non existent because they are only attracted to each other, and the cute developing moments where we were supposed to see their love growing, were dull and boring.

I would still recommend the chestnut spring series! They are, in general, wholesome and sweet books and perfect for slumps and if you are in the mood for a small town romance and a hot cowboy lol!

“You asked me who I wanted to be once, and it’s this. Me. Right here. Right now. With you.”

“You don’t recognize the highs without the lows, sugar.”

“You don’t tell a person you love them with the expectation they’ll say it back. You tell them because you want to. You tell them because it’s true.”
Profile Image for giulsxx.
145 reviews125 followers
August 30, 2024
1★
When it comes to you, I’m downright hopeless.”

i’ll give you this review and then i’m just gonna book a one way ticket to medjugorje or lourdes.
one of the worst book i’ve ever read in my entire life. i had to take several breaks and skimm through some shit but i still need a month of full therapy and probably a lobotomy to erase this shit from my brain. it was pure torture and let me tell you–i was miserable while reading this. it’s not even funny.

this review will be different from the others bc i need to discuss some matters with y’all.

first of all, what the fuck did i just read? isn’t it illegal to print shit like that? i’m calling the police of cringe and disgust bc i’m guilty asf.
now, grab your seat bc i’m about to share some “quotes” by our smartass bailey.

Sweet, quiet little Bailey Jansen, who just asked me about anal sex like she was asking about whether I take cream in my coffee.


yep. you read that right. she just asked beau about anal sex like i’d ask someone about the weather.

A real man is pushing a real boner into me.


what are you, bailey, 15 in full hormones crisis?

When my eyes trace lower, I can see his length straining against his shorts. With his eyes covered, I casually hold my hand out to compare sizes. For science.


yes, she definitely has a brain of a 24/7 horny teenager. i wanted to hand her a ruler just to help her a little bc she was clearly struggling.

“You were touching my feet … and thinking about sex?” Disbelief bleeds into every syllable. She’s the most entertaining blend of innocent and curious.
“Yeah. I mean,”—her head wobbles—“ to be fair, I think about sex a lot.”


oh cmon!!! she’s so desperate and i hate feet. SPARE ME

My eyes go wide when they land on his dick. It’s like a porn dick. But flaccid. I stare, trying to figure out if it’s just the angle or if it’s the fact I haven’t seen a penis in real life. Maybe the scale is different.


TMI bailey!!! i didn’t need to know this!!!

“Is your penis normal big? Or like … ” She worries her bottom lip before holding her hands up in that twelve-inch spread again. “Big big?”


STFU!!!!!!

“I knew it! I was trying to compare it with porn. You know? But, like … the scale seems off on my phone screen, and it was dark in your room, so I didn’t get a good look—”


atp it’s just so embarrassing. i wanted to put my head under the ground like ostriches.

Bailey: How do most guys like a girl to have her pubic hair?
Beau: Bailey, honest to god. You can’t just lead with things like this.
Bailey: Can you just tell me? It’s hard to know. In porn, it’s nothing at all. But I know porn isn’t real life. So like, what am I supposed to do? What’s the norm out there?
Beau: Whatever you like best. Any guy who holds a strong opinion on how you style your pubic hair doesn’t deserve to be between your legs.
Bailey: So maybe a triangle or a strip? I can’t decide.
Beau: Decide some other time. When it doesn’t involve me.
Bailey: It’s the final hour over here. I’m in the bath. Razor in hand.
Beau: Why do you insist on asking me things like this?
Bailey: Because you’ve presumably seen a lot of pussies.
Beau: Bailey, just stop.


for a moment i thought he had a shred of brain, but the shaving scene exists, so…

I mean, yeah, I’ve watched porn, but it’s not the same. It’s like watching the National Geographic channel and saying you’ve seen a lion in the wild.


i had chills but not in a good way… WDYM LION IN THE WILD??????😳

i definitely need to stop bc i don’t want to torture y’all further, but trust me this is only the tip of the iceberg💀

i don’t even have much to say about bailey and beau bc they were so fucking boring and cringe and embarrassing and annoying, i really don’t know how i managed to finish this book.
i’d already known this was going to be a shitshow but i still had hope.
there was no chemistry at all and the romance in this book fucking sucks! beau told her “i love you” and i was like WHAT? ALREADY? spoiler: i was at 80% of the book. if you ask me when their relationship started, idk how to answer the question. also, why at the end of the book it became a dom/sub thing?😃 and i didn’t know preparing tea was a sexual act but bailey thinks it is bc she was fucking obsessed with being fucked that she gives us comments over comments about beau’s dick, while he was too busy worrying about her v-card when she literally was offering it to him on a golden plate.
the age gap was written very badly, it felt like she was a horny teenager who doesn’t know shit about sex and he was like a creepy old man who was teaching her how to please him. it was fucking disgusting. EW! worst smut of the series, i definitely preferred jason momoa the poor version (i’m talking about rhett).
the fake engagement trope didn’t make any fucking sense. and the third act conflict was unnecessary (what a statement) and so childish i wanted to go to the priest and confess my sins bc i’m pretty sure i named all the saints from A to Z.

in conclusion, elsie silver needs jesus .
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