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Chanel Bonfire
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Memoir & Autobiography (2013), Nominee for Readers' Favorite Debut Goodreads Author (2013)A stunning memoir about an actress's unconventional, heartbreaking childhood with an unstable alcoholic and suicidal mother — a real-life Holly Golightly turned Mommie Dearest — and the unusual strength that allowed her to rise above it all.
By the time Wendy Lawless turned seventeen, she'd known for quite some time that she didn't have a normal mother. But that didn't stop her from wanting one.
Georgann Rea didn't bake cookies or go to PTA meetings; she wore a mink coat and always had a lit Dunhill plugged into her cigarette holder. She had slept with too many men, and some women, and she didn't like dogs or children. Georgann had the ice queen beauty of a Hitchcock heroine and the cold heart to match.
In this evocative, darkly humorous memoir, Wendy deftly charts the highs and lows of growing up with her younger sister in the shadow of an unstable, fabulously neglectful mother. Georgann, a real-life Holly Golightly who constantly reinvents herself as she trades up from trailer-park to penthouse, suffers multiple nervous breakdowns and suicide attempts, while Wendy tries to hide the cracks in their fractured family from the rest of the world.
Chanel Bonfire depicts a childhood blazed through the refined aeries of The Dakota and the swinging townhouses of London, while the girls' beautiful but damned mother desperately searches for glamour and fulfillment. Ultimately, they must choose between living their own lives and being their mother's warden.
By the time Wendy Lawless turned seventeen, she'd known for quite some time that she didn't have a normal mother. But that didn't stop her from wanting one.
Georgann Rea didn't bake cookies or go to PTA meetings; she wore a mink coat and always had a lit Dunhill plugged into her cigarette holder. She had slept with too many men, and some women, and she didn't like dogs or children. Georgann had the ice queen beauty of a Hitchcock heroine and the cold heart to match.
In this evocative, darkly humorous memoir, Wendy deftly charts the highs and lows of growing up with her younger sister in the shadow of an unstable, fabulously neglectful mother. Georgann, a real-life Holly Golightly who constantly reinvents herself as she trades up from trailer-park to penthouse, suffers multiple nervous breakdowns and suicide attempts, while Wendy tries to hide the cracks in their fractured family from the rest of the world.
Chanel Bonfire depicts a childhood blazed through the refined aeries of The Dakota and the swinging townhouses of London, while the girls' beautiful but damned mother desperately searches for glamour and fulfillment. Ultimately, they must choose between living their own lives and being their mother's warden.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published January 8, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 618 reviews
April 9, 2021
4.5 stars I had very few expectations going into this book as I'd never heard anyone talk about it before. I received this from the publisher, but obviously all thoughts are my own. This isn't sponsored in any way.
Chanel Bonfire is Wendy Lawless's memoir about growing up with a mother who really isn't fit to be a mother at all. We follow Wendy and her sister as they move around the world with their mother who dreams of grandeur. She marries rich, fights, divorces and flees with her children. It's anything but stable.
Yet through it all, Lawless encounters a lot of people and places that help shape her into someone that is strong and resilient. We get to see how these experiences lead her to the theater and find her passion in the arts. It's a great mix of Patti Smith's Just Kids and The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. Also fans of White Oleander might enjoy this too.
The smallest critique I have of this book is that I almost wish there was a bit more introspection, a bit more examination of exactly what was going on with her mother. We get some resolution at the end--which is a great scene by the way, totally leaving you cheering for Lawless--but maybe a bit more explanation would have bumped this up to a 5 star read. Nonetheless, really great and highly recommend. It's quite underrated in my opinion. And there's a follow-up that was just released, Heart of Glass, that I will definitely be reading.
Chanel Bonfire is Wendy Lawless's memoir about growing up with a mother who really isn't fit to be a mother at all. We follow Wendy and her sister as they move around the world with their mother who dreams of grandeur. She marries rich, fights, divorces and flees with her children. It's anything but stable.
Yet through it all, Lawless encounters a lot of people and places that help shape her into someone that is strong and resilient. We get to see how these experiences lead her to the theater and find her passion in the arts. It's a great mix of Patti Smith's Just Kids and The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. Also fans of White Oleander might enjoy this too.
The smallest critique I have of this book is that I almost wish there was a bit more introspection, a bit more examination of exactly what was going on with her mother. We get some resolution at the end--which is a great scene by the way, totally leaving you cheering for Lawless--but maybe a bit more explanation would have bumped this up to a 5 star read. Nonetheless, really great and highly recommend. It's quite underrated in my opinion. And there's a follow-up that was just released, Heart of Glass, that I will definitely be reading.
August 31, 2015
I’ve read several books about crazy narcissistic mothers, but I have to say that this one was a doozy. Wendy Lawless’ mother is cruel, sadistic, and manipulative to say the least.
This was an easy read and I finished it in less than two days, but there was something missing. I understand that the author voiced that she was a pushover and just gave in a lot but there was a ton of emotion missing for me. If I had a mother who called my boyfriend numerous times a day when she was drunk and was the reason why he broke up with me, I definitely would not have swept it under a rug. I would have been furious. But this memoir reads as if the author is a bystander narrating the story.
With that being said, I was completely mesmerized by the mother. I am always dumbfounded when reading about mother’s who are so insane that they do everything in their power to destroy any happiness from their own children. She kidnapped her own children and took them to London for a time, then made her way along the east coast. What made this one even more intriguing was how she had a very wealthy man under her spell for quite a while and lived the life of the rich on Park Avenue. But eventually she burned that bridge and she was left to fend for herself and therefore she let herself go and never left the house, basically, and eventually isolated herself from her own children.
I would definitely recommend this book as I found it quite fascinating, but it does lack a deep emotion that you expect from a child of such abuse. I was also curious as to why the author lost touch with her sister (I am guessing that she did as she was not in the acknowledgments) and would have liked to read about that since her sister played such a huge role in her memoir.
This was an easy read and I finished it in less than two days, but there was something missing. I understand that the author voiced that she was a pushover and just gave in a lot but there was a ton of emotion missing for me. If I had a mother who called my boyfriend numerous times a day when she was drunk and was the reason why he broke up with me, I definitely would not have swept it under a rug. I would have been furious. But this memoir reads as if the author is a bystander narrating the story.
With that being said, I was completely mesmerized by the mother. I am always dumbfounded when reading about mother’s who are so insane that they do everything in their power to destroy any happiness from their own children. She kidnapped her own children and took them to London for a time, then made her way along the east coast. What made this one even more intriguing was how she had a very wealthy man under her spell for quite a while and lived the life of the rich on Park Avenue. But eventually she burned that bridge and she was left to fend for herself and therefore she let herself go and never left the house, basically, and eventually isolated herself from her own children.
I would definitely recommend this book as I found it quite fascinating, but it does lack a deep emotion that you expect from a child of such abuse. I was also curious as to why the author lost touch with her sister (I am guessing that she did as she was not in the acknowledgments) and would have liked to read about that since her sister played such a huge role in her memoir.
March 19, 2013
If you're 19 years old and the only worldly wisdom your mother has to offer you is "Never screw a spider," it's time to look elsewhere for guidance. Wendy Lawless was smart enough to do just that, and she created a life of sanity for herself after a childhood of pure insanity.
This is not a pleasant story, but it's so darned readable. Wendy keeps things rolling and never dwells too long on any event. Her mother, Georgann Rea, was a psycho nympho narcissistic alcoholic pathological liar. And a bit of a sadist, to boot. Georgann never earned a dime, but used her looks and manipulative skills to get men to keep her in high style. So Wendy and her sister grew up wealthy but neglected, and traumatized by their mother's cruelty and her fake suicide attempts.
Distance from events helps to soften our focus, and the intervening 30 years allowed Wendy to write about her upbringing with equanimity, and even a twisted sense of humor. There's no self-pity here. Just directness and honesty.
And now for my favorite dangling modifier. It could have been cleared up with a couple of well-placed commas, but it's more fun the way it's printed on page 173:
"I was sitting on the floor outside one of the hotel ballrooms where they were holding the auditions in my leotard and wraparound skirt."
Yeah, baby. Those are the auditions I'd like to see.
Rating = 4.5 stars
Recommended for those who like to study human behavior, but not if you need happy endings.
This is not a pleasant story, but it's so darned readable. Wendy keeps things rolling and never dwells too long on any event. Her mother, Georgann Rea, was a psycho nympho narcissistic alcoholic pathological liar. And a bit of a sadist, to boot. Georgann never earned a dime, but used her looks and manipulative skills to get men to keep her in high style. So Wendy and her sister grew up wealthy but neglected, and traumatized by their mother's cruelty and her fake suicide attempts.
Distance from events helps to soften our focus, and the intervening 30 years allowed Wendy to write about her upbringing with equanimity, and even a twisted sense of humor. There's no self-pity here. Just directness and honesty.
And now for my favorite dangling modifier. It could have been cleared up with a couple of well-placed commas, but it's more fun the way it's printed on page 173:
"I was sitting on the floor outside one of the hotel ballrooms where they were holding the auditions in my leotard and wraparound skirt."
Yeah, baby. Those are the auditions I'd like to see.
Rating = 4.5 stars
Recommended for those who like to study human behavior, but not if you need happy endings.
January 27, 2013
A good, fast read. You definitely root for the two sisters, but there is something that I'd missing from the book - a deeper reflection of what was going on, trying to figure out more about why all these men fell for the mother, why the father remained missing for so long (I don't buy his reasoning of mom just wouldn't allow it). Something was just missing. I feel like the author has more to discover and understand about her mother and her life and hope she can get there - that would have made this a 4 or 5 in my book.
December 24, 2012
This review refers to the NetGalley edition of this title.
Memoir is probably my favorite genre of literature, and Chanel Bonfire is a perfect example of why I adore it so much. Sitting down to read a memoir, a good one, is like sitting down with someone you've just met and, like a time-lapse experience, you get to know them quickly and intimately, and at the end you feel like you could be best friends.
Wendy Lawless tells the tale of her narcissistic, manipulative, dangerously psychotic mother using the most raw, pared-down writing that anyone could ask for, reinforcing that idea of a conversational feel to memoir; I felt as though I was listening to her tell me the story. I nodded, shook my head in disbelief, and gaped at all the appropriate times. I did not laugh, I did not cry. I only "listened." Had I either laughed or cried, I would be giving her 5 stars instead of 4.
This is a well-written page-turner that feels relatable and invokes empathy, and Wendy herself appears capable and self-reliant to such a degree that you never pity her and it never reads as a sob story.
I recommend this to fans of Augusten Burroughs, Jeanette Walls, and Ashley Rhodes-Courter, and anyone who found themselves morbidly fascinated by the movie "Mommy Dearest."
Memoir is probably my favorite genre of literature, and Chanel Bonfire is a perfect example of why I adore it so much. Sitting down to read a memoir, a good one, is like sitting down with someone you've just met and, like a time-lapse experience, you get to know them quickly and intimately, and at the end you feel like you could be best friends.
Wendy Lawless tells the tale of her narcissistic, manipulative, dangerously psychotic mother using the most raw, pared-down writing that anyone could ask for, reinforcing that idea of a conversational feel to memoir; I felt as though I was listening to her tell me the story. I nodded, shook my head in disbelief, and gaped at all the appropriate times. I did not laugh, I did not cry. I only "listened." Had I either laughed or cried, I would be giving her 5 stars instead of 4.
This is a well-written page-turner that feels relatable and invokes empathy, and Wendy herself appears capable and self-reliant to such a degree that you never pity her and it never reads as a sob story.
I recommend this to fans of Augusten Burroughs, Jeanette Walls, and Ashley Rhodes-Courter, and anyone who found themselves morbidly fascinated by the movie "Mommy Dearest."
July 4, 2012
I received the ARC from the publisher this week and read the memoir in one day. I simply couldn't put it down. Unlike many memoirs, Lawless didn't grow up with poverty, sexual abuse, etc. Actually, I felt like she was the "poor little rich girl." Who wouldn't want to live at the Dakota? Or in London during the 70's? However, I feel this author's story proves once again we can't judge a book by the cover. Those witnessing Lawless's growing up years didn't have a clue what went on behind closed doors, until later years when the mother's outbursts were becoming public.
Wendy and her sister endured a deep emotional abuse, which also leaves damage and scars. And yet, in reading the story I didn't detect any self-pity on the part of the author. She had a story to tell and she told it. Extremely well! And as a reader, I very much enjoyed it. One thought stayed with me throughout the story, right up until the end.....The older I get, the more firmly convinced I am that not every woman is cut out to be a mother. As this story proves so well.
Wendy and her sister endured a deep emotional abuse, which also leaves damage and scars. And yet, in reading the story I didn't detect any self-pity on the part of the author. She had a story to tell and she told it. Extremely well! And as a reader, I very much enjoyed it. One thought stayed with me throughout the story, right up until the end.....The older I get, the more firmly convinced I am that not every woman is cut out to be a mother. As this story proves so well.
April 7, 2013
This book was certainly a page turner, but it seemed to lack something in the way of self-awareness, and didn't explore some key questions that the reader would no doubt have, such as why no one ever intervened by calling the authorities. In addition, many characters seemed to be included for the mere sake of name dropping, as their inclusion in the story added little our nothing in the way of plot development. Georgann's portrayal felt in some ways exploitative. I don't doubt the accuracy of the accounts, but again, I wish Lawless had explored slightly deeper into Georgann's complexity... clearly there were many men who were passionate and in certain ways loyal to her. I wanted a more fleshed out examination, to make her character more sympathetic; as Lawless said, she would never forgive her mother, and that lack of objectivity- though understandable- makes for a rather one dimensional caricature of a person, showing all the scars while overlooking, to some degree, the wounds.
January 10, 2013
I read this book in two settings.I learned of the book from an email from Rainy Day Books. Imagine my surprise when I learned the book is about my cousin Georgann. It's certainly not a pretty story but her daughter tells it with some humor and funny moments. She describes her mother as Holly Golightly who became Mommy Dearest. In a way I thought about Jeanette Walls book, The Glass Castle. Both mothers had nothing maternal in thier bodies. The should have had their children taken away from them. Georgann's every thought went to her and it's all about her no matter the situation. She was also cruel lying to the girls about their father not wanting anything to do with them and they were apart from him for over 10 years. I am so sorry to learn her life went as it did. Besides being a bitch she was slso cruel, telling Wendy in a voice mail that her sister had commited suicide and hanging up and it wasnt even true. She was definitely a crazy person. She died alone and no one found he until 4 days later.
January 31, 2013
The book was very well written. I read the book in a single sitting because I could not tear myself away and did not know what would happen next. It was an unforgettable, searing memoir about the high cost of mental illness, not only to the person suffering but also to those around them. I rate this book 4 out of 5 stars and, if you like roller coaster reads, this one is for you!
On a lighter note, I think I will purchase a copy of this book to keep. Then when I am having a bad Mommy day, I can take out the book and read a scene or two. Then I will know, without a doubt,that in comparison to Georgann Rea, I am the most wonderful mother that ever walked the Earth!
read full review at:
http://theinsomniacbibliophile.blogsp...
On a lighter note, I think I will purchase a copy of this book to keep. Then when I am having a bad Mommy day, I can take out the book and read a scene or two. Then I will know, without a doubt,that in comparison to Georgann Rea, I am the most wonderful mother that ever walked the Earth!
read full review at:
http://theinsomniacbibliophile.blogsp...
June 24, 2013
In a sentence, this book is shallow and vapid and the prose is insipid and full of glib cliches (at one point, she compares working as a stage hand changing sets to clocking in on a slave ship and rowing for twelve hours. Really?). If you're a fan of Gossip Girl (books or show), then this is the adult version and just for you (some of the scenes read as if she's just waiting for the movie deal to come in). I do not discount or discredit the author's experiences; however, as a writer, the author completely fails to create any sort of emotional connection to the reader and even to the events she describes in the book. It'll be perfect for the beach reads set.
August 27, 2019
More like Chanel Dumpster Fire. This is a pretty standard narcissistic artist mom memoir. Nothing wrong with that; every story deserves to be told. Lawless’s mother Georgann was a real piece work. Alcoholic, neglectful, promiscuous, often cruel and violent, and sometimes suicidal. Totally batshit bananas and in no shape to raise children. It was quite a volatile environment for Wendy and younger sister Robin.
January 7, 2013
Reading about the abuse that others have endured, especially abuse that they suffered as children at the hands of a near-evil parent, is rarely an enjoyable voyeuristic pastime. But Wendy Lawless' Chanel Bonfire (Gallery Books) is written with such an eloquence and with such masterful storytelling, that it draws the reader into her childhood and her escape.
As a one-time mid-list actress, Lawless can easily be found through search engines, her career highlights mentioned in passing. It's a good thing that there is mention of her through a basic Google search, as it shows that she survived and triumphed. But her memoir is one that describes a life she almost couldn't overcome. As the child of a divorced theater actor and a dissatisfied housewife, Lawless spent her formative years in a whirlwind of both opulent privilege and horrific neglect. Her memoir describes her mother's sociopathical need for acceptance and attention, especially the attention of a constant parade of wealthy men. Lawless and her younger sister were merely dragged along on her mother's ride, alternately living in posh New York apartments, trendy London town homes, and mid-Western trailer parks, all while suffering through the high and low rages of her mother's mental illness and alcoholism.
When Lawless wasn't pulling the reader along through the mire of her childhood, she was busy regaling her audience with amazing antics that she and her sister and a troupe of celebrity offspring pulled off. Her years spent in London attending the prestigious American school, rubbing shoulders with some of the biggest names in music, film, and literature of the day, are shared with such a nonchalance that it never comes across as desperate name dropping, but rather demonstrates just how little control she had over her life, despite being largely left on her own by her neglectful mother.
As a one-time mid-list actress, Lawless can easily be found through search engines, her career highlights mentioned in passing. It's a good thing that there is mention of her through a basic Google search, as it shows that she survived and triumphed. But her memoir is one that describes a life she almost couldn't overcome. As the child of a divorced theater actor and a dissatisfied housewife, Lawless spent her formative years in a whirlwind of both opulent privilege and horrific neglect. Her memoir describes her mother's sociopathical need for acceptance and attention, especially the attention of a constant parade of wealthy men. Lawless and her younger sister were merely dragged along on her mother's ride, alternately living in posh New York apartments, trendy London town homes, and mid-Western trailer parks, all while suffering through the high and low rages of her mother's mental illness and alcoholism.
When Lawless wasn't pulling the reader along through the mire of her childhood, she was busy regaling her audience with amazing antics that she and her sister and a troupe of celebrity offspring pulled off. Her years spent in London attending the prestigious American school, rubbing shoulders with some of the biggest names in music, film, and literature of the day, are shared with such a nonchalance that it never comes across as desperate name dropping, but rather demonstrates just how little control she had over her life, despite being largely left on her own by her neglectful mother.
December 1, 2013
I first saw this book at Warwick's in La Jolla, judged it by it's gorgeous cover, and decided I had to read it. Unsurprisingly, (I have a gift for being a good cover-judger) I LOVED it.
Chanel Bonfire by Wendy Lawless is equal parts heartbreaking and heartwarming. To the casual observer, Georgann Rea was a glamorous, carefree mother. She wore beautiful minks and fashionably smoked cigarettes. She lived in posh homes, mingled with society figures and dressed her daughters in the finest fashions. Only Wendy, her sister, and one gracious therapist knew the real Georgann, a woman seemingly incapable of love. Wendy straightforwardly tells her story without sugarcoating or pity parties, making it read much more like a novel than a memoir, which I found very refreshing.
In life, you realize that most people don't change. Wendy is an exception to that rule. She became stronger, empowered, and she chose to live. This memoir is a motivating, fascinating read for women of all ages. If you don't normally consider yourself a fan of memoirs, this is a great one to start with!
Chanel Bonfire by Wendy Lawless is equal parts heartbreaking and heartwarming. To the casual observer, Georgann Rea was a glamorous, carefree mother. She wore beautiful minks and fashionably smoked cigarettes. She lived in posh homes, mingled with society figures and dressed her daughters in the finest fashions. Only Wendy, her sister, and one gracious therapist knew the real Georgann, a woman seemingly incapable of love. Wendy straightforwardly tells her story without sugarcoating or pity parties, making it read much more like a novel than a memoir, which I found very refreshing.
In life, you realize that most people don't change. Wendy is an exception to that rule. She became stronger, empowered, and she chose to live. This memoir is a motivating, fascinating read for women of all ages. If you don't normally consider yourself a fan of memoirs, this is a great one to start with!
April 15, 2013
Audio review - mp3 version
Narrated by the author, this is a look at the spirit of a survivor and a testament to the power of resilience of the human spirit. Through a series of incredibly dark moments, Lawless manages to convey the utter helplessness of two young children caught in the miasma of their mother’s mental illness.
From the outside: they are wealthy, fortunate, well-educated and are granted many privileges that
were unique to the time and the setting. Behind closed doors they were treated to manipulations, drunken ramblings, a series of strange men and their mother’s ever-increasing fixation with being adored and worshipped at every step. What they didn’t realize, as children never do, is that none of their mother’s erratic behaviour or hateful actions was something they could change or take blame for.
While recounting stories that are horrifyingly specific in their detail, Lawless manages to show the core of strength and coping mechanisms that they developed as children: with insertions of pure joy in the sister’s interactions and a dark humor that threads throughout the tale. Even in the worst moments, her voicing is clear and distinct, with a sense of intonation and inflection that are specific to the three major characters in the story, and present without an over-reach of emotional inflections: the words alone convey the emotions with a clarity that is unique.
It is an interesting study in motivation: what makes one person more or better suited for a certain career path, and just how differing personalities react to the constant stress that would break many. As the girls mature and grow, they find that they cannot force, encourage nor even blackmail their mother into receiving the help she so desperately needs, and that no matter what they give, they will never fill the empty black hole of her soul.
One cannot help but feel fear, anger and shock on behalf of the children as the story is told: but that quickly turns to admiration as they are standing tall and setting their own paths, despite the repeated attempts to be drawn back into the miasma that was their childhood. Not an easy book to read/listen to: but the messages contained within are positive for those who choose to seek them. Most of all, Lawless and her sister are productive, functional and successful women despite their unconventional and often traumatic childhood.
I received an mp3 version of the audio book from Tantor Media via Edelweiss for purpose of honest review for the Heard Word at I am, Indeed. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.
Narrated by the author, this is a look at the spirit of a survivor and a testament to the power of resilience of the human spirit. Through a series of incredibly dark moments, Lawless manages to convey the utter helplessness of two young children caught in the miasma of their mother’s mental illness.
From the outside: they are wealthy, fortunate, well-educated and are granted many privileges that
were unique to the time and the setting. Behind closed doors they were treated to manipulations, drunken ramblings, a series of strange men and their mother’s ever-increasing fixation with being adored and worshipped at every step. What they didn’t realize, as children never do, is that none of their mother’s erratic behaviour or hateful actions was something they could change or take blame for.
While recounting stories that are horrifyingly specific in their detail, Lawless manages to show the core of strength and coping mechanisms that they developed as children: with insertions of pure joy in the sister’s interactions and a dark humor that threads throughout the tale. Even in the worst moments, her voicing is clear and distinct, with a sense of intonation and inflection that are specific to the three major characters in the story, and present without an over-reach of emotional inflections: the words alone convey the emotions with a clarity that is unique.
It is an interesting study in motivation: what makes one person more or better suited for a certain career path, and just how differing personalities react to the constant stress that would break many. As the girls mature and grow, they find that they cannot force, encourage nor even blackmail their mother into receiving the help she so desperately needs, and that no matter what they give, they will never fill the empty black hole of her soul.
One cannot help but feel fear, anger and shock on behalf of the children as the story is told: but that quickly turns to admiration as they are standing tall and setting their own paths, despite the repeated attempts to be drawn back into the miasma that was their childhood. Not an easy book to read/listen to: but the messages contained within are positive for those who choose to seek them. Most of all, Lawless and her sister are productive, functional and successful women despite their unconventional and often traumatic childhood.
I received an mp3 version of the audio book from Tantor Media via Edelweiss for purpose of honest review for the Heard Word at I am, Indeed. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.
January 2, 2016
I was drawn by this one's title, which in retrospect is maybe the most artful part of the book...and Lawless acknowledges that it was her husband who came up with it. I don't know what I hoped for, exactly, but this felt to me like a fairly standard bad-childhood memoir.
It feels pitiless (and maybe it is) to say that, but the fact is that while I have the utmost respect and compassion for anyone who suffers through their early years with a narcissistic, alcoholic, and/or abusive parent, I still want whatever they publish about it to have some spark, charm, and art. I've heard memoir and nonfiction teachers comment that when you write down the stuff you've lived through, you write it all down for the first draft...and then you keep revising it over and over, until you're not writing just about yourself anymore. You revise until you're writing about your narrator. Who happens, confusingly in this genre, to be very closely aligned with you. But that distinction is crucial to making a book about a bad childhood work for readers, as opposed to making it work for yourself and your therapist.
This book felt to me like it hadn't gone through enough of those refining drafts. I sometimes questioned why I was reading certain details and not others. Wait, your sister got a job in high school at the old folks' home, emptying bedpans and providing intimate personal care for the elderly? That sounds hard and trying and kind of major, given that you were raised as glass princesses by a horrifying status-obsessed ice queen. Those kinds of details seem like they would bear investigation, and would open up interesting character seams. Instead we get anecdotes about the waiters at the Chinese restaurant where Lawless got her own job, running out into the parking lot after diners who don't tip enough. It feels like Lawless wants to provide energy and action where it isn't really needed--I was more interested in her sister's emotional flight from their Cruella de Ville of a mother.
Lawless and her sister went through hell, there's no doubt about that. Their mother was a complete nightmare and their father abandoned them, with the excuse that it was too hard to follow them across the Atlantic when she kidnapped them from New York to London. Lawless deserves kudos for being able to tell the story of her own and her sister's abuse. I just wanted more from this--more of a sense of reflection, of digestion, of something besides an Ancient Mariner's tale of "This happened, and I alone remain to tell you."
It feels pitiless (and maybe it is) to say that, but the fact is that while I have the utmost respect and compassion for anyone who suffers through their early years with a narcissistic, alcoholic, and/or abusive parent, I still want whatever they publish about it to have some spark, charm, and art. I've heard memoir and nonfiction teachers comment that when you write down the stuff you've lived through, you write it all down for the first draft...and then you keep revising it over and over, until you're not writing just about yourself anymore. You revise until you're writing about your narrator. Who happens, confusingly in this genre, to be very closely aligned with you. But that distinction is crucial to making a book about a bad childhood work for readers, as opposed to making it work for yourself and your therapist.
This book felt to me like it hadn't gone through enough of those refining drafts. I sometimes questioned why I was reading certain details and not others. Wait, your sister got a job in high school at the old folks' home, emptying bedpans and providing intimate personal care for the elderly? That sounds hard and trying and kind of major, given that you were raised as glass princesses by a horrifying status-obsessed ice queen. Those kinds of details seem like they would bear investigation, and would open up interesting character seams. Instead we get anecdotes about the waiters at the Chinese restaurant where Lawless got her own job, running out into the parking lot after diners who don't tip enough. It feels like Lawless wants to provide energy and action where it isn't really needed--I was more interested in her sister's emotional flight from their Cruella de Ville of a mother.
Lawless and her sister went through hell, there's no doubt about that. Their mother was a complete nightmare and their father abandoned them, with the excuse that it was too hard to follow them across the Atlantic when she kidnapped them from New York to London. Lawless deserves kudos for being able to tell the story of her own and her sister's abuse. I just wanted more from this--more of a sense of reflection, of digestion, of something besides an Ancient Mariner's tale of "This happened, and I alone remain to tell you."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 19, 2013
To be perfectly honest, I first had no clue who Wendy Lawless or her mother were and second I picked up this book to help me before I went to bed. I wanted a book to read that I did not have to put much thought or focus into before I went to bed. Well this was the wrong book for that. Instantly as soon as I stated reading this book, I was intrigued and fascinated by Wendy and her sister, Robin’s childhood and growing up with their mother.
Wow, after reading this book I felt sad for Wendy and her sister, Robin with all that they had to endure with their mother. Of course I did not blame Wendy and Robin for rebelling out towards their mother. Or I should say Robin who was the real rebel. Wendy was just trying to be the best daughter she could. Which I think that she did a really good job. She is a fighter.
I also was happy that Wendy was able to reconnect with her father. The little bit that I got to see and know of him as featured in this book; he seemed like a nice guy. What I appreciated the most about this book was how candid Wendy was about her childhood. I felt like I got a real good look into her life and who she was as a child and who she has become as an adult. Chanel Bonfire is a book that will have you glad you grew up with the family you have. So pick up a copy of this book and see for yourself.
Wow, after reading this book I felt sad for Wendy and her sister, Robin with all that they had to endure with their mother. Of course I did not blame Wendy and Robin for rebelling out towards their mother. Or I should say Robin who was the real rebel. Wendy was just trying to be the best daughter she could. Which I think that she did a really good job. She is a fighter.
I also was happy that Wendy was able to reconnect with her father. The little bit that I got to see and know of him as featured in this book; he seemed like a nice guy. What I appreciated the most about this book was how candid Wendy was about her childhood. I felt like I got a real good look into her life and who she was as a child and who she has become as an adult. Chanel Bonfire is a book that will have you glad you grew up with the family you have. So pick up a copy of this book and see for yourself.
November 14, 2013
Gosh, this was a sad book.
I felt so sorry for Georgann. She had untreated metal illness and very understandable issues after a childhood of violent abuse. The only personal skills and qualities she had to cope were those she'd learned from pre-feminist 20th century consumer culture.
She was sold the message that performing femininity perfectly would bring her inner fulfillment, relationship happiness, and every material good she desired. She had no one to tell her otherwise. And boy, did she perform it perfectly. And then she found that everything she'd been told to desire is, at base, pretty hollow. And that when you have spent your life in a performance, then that is all your life is.
Man, she was fucked over by the world, and she didn't have any way to develop the skills to get herself out. I'm happy her daughters did.
Overall, a gripping recounting of a woman destroyed by the patriarchy.
I felt so sorry for Georgann. She had untreated metal illness and very understandable issues after a childhood of violent abuse. The only personal skills and qualities she had to cope were those she'd learned from pre-feminist 20th century consumer culture.
She was sold the message that performing femininity perfectly would bring her inner fulfillment, relationship happiness, and every material good she desired. She had no one to tell her otherwise. And boy, did she perform it perfectly. And then she found that everything she'd been told to desire is, at base, pretty hollow. And that when you have spent your life in a performance, then that is all your life is.
Man, she was fucked over by the world, and she didn't have any way to develop the skills to get herself out. I'm happy her daughters did.
Overall, a gripping recounting of a woman destroyed by the patriarchy.
December 17, 2015
I had a hard time believing this. I'm sure there is a lot of truth in this book, but I don't think anyone has that good of a memory. She wrote exactly what everyone said, what they wore, etc. and I'm not buying it. I just saw a video of Wendy Lawless on AOL talking about how she came up with the title of the book, and she said in the chapter Chanel Bonfire "somebody had an idea to start a bonfire". In her book she wrote "Let's make a fire," I suggested. "Everyone collect sticks and stuff, okay?" She wrote three paragraphs about the fire, but yet couldn't remember who's idea it was later when she was on AOL? I just think she has problems with her memory. Her husband is a screenwriter and came up with the title of the book, maybe he helped her write it?
April 2, 2013
‘Chanel Bonfire’ is a tale of growing up with a mentally ill mother who, I suspect, was incapable of love. Her entire life was about manipulating people and seeking adoration, even from children too young to understand. While she wasn’t a wire coat hanger wielding physical abuser (most of the time), she was the master of screwing with minds.
The beautiful Georgann Rea was an extreme example of Narcissism. Her life was one big illusion: that she was loved, that she was rich, that she knew the ‘right’ people, that every man wanted her, that she was young forever. No one was allowed to disrupt those illusions; if one did, they were cut out of her life. One of those disruptions caused her to run away to Europe with her two daughters, severing all contact with their father. Lawless would not have contact with him again until she was an adult. The girls basically raise themselves in a hostile environment. Sometimes the environment was quite luxurious, but it was always a minefield for Lawless, who had to police her every word and gesture to avoid setting off her mother. The two girls counted the days until they graduated high school and could escape.
This sounds like a grim read. In the hands of many writers, it easily could have been. But Lawless has a dry wit, and the book is riveting. I kept thinking to myself that Georgann couldn’t do anything worse, and yet she always did. What amazes me is that the girls turned out well- very well. Rather than damaging their psyches, it almost seems like the trials of their childhood made them stronger.
The beautiful Georgann Rea was an extreme example of Narcissism. Her life was one big illusion: that she was loved, that she was rich, that she knew the ‘right’ people, that every man wanted her, that she was young forever. No one was allowed to disrupt those illusions; if one did, they were cut out of her life. One of those disruptions caused her to run away to Europe with her two daughters, severing all contact with their father. Lawless would not have contact with him again until she was an adult. The girls basically raise themselves in a hostile environment. Sometimes the environment was quite luxurious, but it was always a minefield for Lawless, who had to police her every word and gesture to avoid setting off her mother. The two girls counted the days until they graduated high school and could escape.
This sounds like a grim read. In the hands of many writers, it easily could have been. But Lawless has a dry wit, and the book is riveting. I kept thinking to myself that Georgann couldn’t do anything worse, and yet she always did. What amazes me is that the girls turned out well- very well. Rather than damaging their psyches, it almost seems like the trials of their childhood made them stronger.
July 26, 2020
A touching and memorable read, Lawless truly captured the fine details of her exciting and wondrous childhood. Throughout the book the reader is entranced in all of the unexpected, grasping to all of the well-written travels that the Lawless sisters experienced. Moving across the world (several times), the sisters meet many exciting characters and embark on many different adventures, never knowing where fate would take them. It was truly touching to see how close the sisters were, especially when they have to endure the anger and relentlessness of their mother. I would suggest this book to anyone who wants to read a true story but in a more novel way or to anyone who loves reading about travel and exciting adventures. I would rate this a 5 out of 5 stars because it was a truly touching and beautiful read, something that really provoked the reader to dig deep and feel what the characters felt.
January 9, 2014
For some reason I am a sucker for Mommy Dearest memoirs, perhaps because my own mother is so amazing. Whatever the case, this book fits nicely into the genre. Written in a concise and straightforward manner (at times shockingly straightforward), the author is daughter to a stunning, social-climbing, and yes mentally ill mother who treks all over the world trying to find…something. The relationship the author has with her sister is touching and well-drawn. The relationships she has with her father and step-father are also affecting, complex, and at times heartbreaking. As mentioned, the book is very straight-forward so don’t look for any sort of self-reflection but overall a fast and worthwhile read if memoirs are your thing.
April 27, 2016
Since I have had this book for well over a year & I was also lucky enough to be give a copy of her new book through "Goodreads Giveaways", I decided to read this one first.. Lawless's writing, which I am a fan of, is wonderful, even though her topic of the life she & her sister had with an "unfit" mother, was not great, the book is powerful & engaging. It's amazing how she could find compassion for her mother & even funny at some of her antics.. her love for her sister was heartwarming.. her resilience is amazing..I look forward to "Heart of Glass" which will tell how she survived her twenties..
June 25, 2016
A heartbreaking memoir of an interesting time. A story about growing up in the 60's and 70's with a beautiful and wealthy (yet mentally ill) socialite mother. When reading a memoir about emotional abuse, it is difficult to truly say you enjoy the book. That being said, I found this to be an honest example of how some children survive abuse that doesn't leave visible scars, but they are abused nonetheless. This book won't disappoint, and I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys memoirs. I thank Wendy Lawless for sharing her story with all of us.
October 15, 2012
This memoir reveals how children in some situations must learn quickly to meet the demands of an unstable adult in their lives. These two sisters supported each other while attempting to avoid the seriously hurtful actions of their mother. They were kidnapped, hid from their father and humiliated in front of friends but both showed strength and were able to escape with their sanity intact. A very interesting read.
October 3, 2014
Won this! :)
What a story. Wendy describes in vivid detail what it was like growing up with a mother who was crazy. Her courage to go back, remember, and write about that time in her life is absolutely unbelievable. She is the most courageous woman I have ever had the honor of reading about. She is also a born writer. She can write anything and I'd read it. I can only hope she writes more books. To describe what she endures would not do her writing justice. Just read this. Please.
What a story. Wendy describes in vivid detail what it was like growing up with a mother who was crazy. Her courage to go back, remember, and write about that time in her life is absolutely unbelievable. She is the most courageous woman I have ever had the honor of reading about. She is also a born writer. She can write anything and I'd read it. I can only hope she writes more books. To describe what she endures would not do her writing justice. Just read this. Please.
June 7, 2013
I liked the author's straightforward, almost innocent, style in telling the compelling story of her harrowing childhood. It was a vivid account of her mother, a narcissistic, hateful character who suffered from the effects of her own brutal childhood. Wendy Lawless is honest in her portrayal, and her and her sister's survival is a triumph!
February 15, 2014
i only finished this because i'd bought an overpriced copy at the airport, thinking lawless was a pseudonym and hoping it was about courtney love. i would've MUCH rather read the mother's memoir; she was clearly the most interesting thing ever to happen to wendy.
May 21, 2013
Don't waste your time. Read The Glass Castle instead.
March 19, 2013
I didn't love this book. Poorly written and the storytelling and characters lacked depth.
April 14, 2019
In the grand tradition of "My parent was batshit crazy" memoirs comes this one by Wendy Lawless. I must admit I am a sucker for this type of memoir - The Glass Castle, The Liar's Club/Cherry, Educated, Running with Scissors etc. Reading these memoirs make me feel like I am an amazing mom! I have never set fire to any of my children's belongings - yay me.
Not only is the subject matter a page turner, but the memoir itself is well written and flows nicely. If the memoirs I listed above are books you liked, then you will definitely like this one.
Not only is the subject matter a page turner, but the memoir itself is well written and flows nicely. If the memoirs I listed above are books you liked, then you will definitely like this one.
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