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Hal Spacejock #1
A Robot Named Clunk
ASIN moved from less recent edition here
Freighter pilot Hal Spacejock refuses to work for gun runners, drug smugglers and politicians. Unfortunately, this results in no customers, no cargo jobs and no hope of paying off the huge loan on his precious ship.
When a debt collector kicks in his airlock and threatens his life, Hal grabs the nearest job and blasts off without reading the fine print. Can he deliver the freight and pay off his debt, or is this Hal’s last cargo run?
Freighter pilot Hal Spacejock refuses to work for gun runners, drug smugglers and politicians. Unfortunately, this results in no customers, no cargo jobs and no hope of paying off the huge loan on his precious ship.
When a debt collector kicks in his airlock and threatens his life, Hal grabs the nearest job and blasts off without reading the fine print. Can he deliver the freight and pay off his debt, or is this Hal’s last cargo run?
338 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2001
About the author
Simon Haynes
72 books169 followersSimon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock, Harriet Walsh and Hal Junior (MG) series. He divides his time between writing fiction and computer software, with the occasional bike ride thrown in for a laugh.
Simon lives in Perth, Western Australia.
Simon lives in Perth, Western Australia.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 215 reviews
June 10, 2007
The cover blurb compares Hal Spacejock to Red Dwarf, so I went in expecting that same level of silliness and humor. (Rather, that level of humour -- Australian spelling, after all.) And silliness it delivers. Hal Spacejock, incompetent pilot on the cargo ship Black Gull, lands a job transporting robot parts from point A to point B. On his side is the old robot Clunk. Against him is, well, pretty much everyone else, from warships to desperate thieves to debt collectors to dockmasters who object to Hal's habit of accidentally setting their planets on fire.
The book moves along at a nice pace, and there are some entertaining bits. The "How much for that robot in the window?" exchange made me laugh. A lot of Haynes' computer and robot tech parallels today's PC-related troubles, such as Clunk the roboth having to clean up the code for the Navigational Computer. Then there's the accounting rationale behind disposing of perfectly good robots for tax and warranty reasons. All of this is discussed with a sharp eye for the absurd. (There were moments when I thought I was reading about my own office.)
What lost me from time to time was when the balance switched too far to the silly side of things, at the cost of plausibility. Hal felt too incompetent to have survived this long. It's funny that he can't land his own spaceship, and that he doesn't know what any of the buttons on the console actually do, but it leaves the reader wondering how he managed to get the ship at all, and how he got to where he is without getting himself killed.
Once or twice, complications felt like they were thrown in for the sake of another gag, as opposed to being natural consequences of the story. It's a very tricky thing to balance humor and suspension of disbelief. To some extent, it's probably a matter of personal taste.
Whether or not you'll like the book is going to depend a lot on your sense of humor. For me, it was an amusing read, but it didn't quite hit the mark. Given the success Haynes has had with the series so far (I would love to have some of his great reviews for my own work), Given the success Haynes has had with the series so far (I would love to have some of his great reviews for my own work), I'd say it's definitely worth checking out chapter one at the author's website to see if it's your brand of space humor.
The book moves along at a nice pace, and there are some entertaining bits. The "How much for that robot in the window?" exchange made me laugh. A lot of Haynes' computer and robot tech parallels today's PC-related troubles, such as Clunk the roboth having to clean up the code for the Navigational Computer. Then there's the accounting rationale behind disposing of perfectly good robots for tax and warranty reasons. All of this is discussed with a sharp eye for the absurd. (There were moments when I thought I was reading about my own office.)
What lost me from time to time was when the balance switched too far to the silly side of things, at the cost of plausibility. Hal felt too incompetent to have survived this long. It's funny that he can't land his own spaceship, and that he doesn't know what any of the buttons on the console actually do, but it leaves the reader wondering how he managed to get the ship at all, and how he got to where he is without getting himself killed.
Once or twice, complications felt like they were thrown in for the sake of another gag, as opposed to being natural consequences of the story. It's a very tricky thing to balance humor and suspension of disbelief. To some extent, it's probably a matter of personal taste.
Whether or not you'll like the book is going to depend a lot on your sense of humor. For me, it was an amusing read, but it didn't quite hit the mark. Given the success Haynes has had with the series so far (I would love to have some of his great reviews for my own work), Given the success Haynes has had with the series so far (I would love to have some of his great reviews for my own work), I'd say it's definitely worth checking out chapter one at the author's website to see if it's your brand of space humor.
February 13, 2013
Hal Spacejock is the first book I have come across that holds the special title of "all the elements I love in sci-fi, done to such an extent that I cannot enjoy them."
- Robots? Check.
- Spaceships? Check.
- Comically-dunderheaded captain? Check.
The last one was the real stickler. I love it when captains get shown up by their crew, but Hal Spacejock takes it to such a level that I cannot suspend my disbelief that he accidentally killed himself with a spoon at age 6. Here we have a one-man crew of an old spaceship who has such a pathetic grasp of how his domain works that he cannot so much as work the docking lift. The entire first quarter of the book was spent with him trying to release his ship from the docking bay, and he couldn't so much as take two steps without something exploding or catching fire as a direct result of his stupidity.
I also believe that he wasn't sure how he wanted to handle robots. He kept treating them as simultaneously property and outright people with metal skin, and I have yet to find a story where the two can intertwine without any problems. Every single piece of metal, from the robot to the ship's AI to any given door or vending machine, had a fully-fledged personality, yet they were all treated as disposable property without any word of backstory as to how such a schism was possible. You just don't have true AI to that extent without some form of robot rights movement.
As for my final complaint, lack of character development. The entire formula for Hal Spacejock basically went "Hal breaks something, robot/AI/someone else fixes it, Hal insults them, rinse and repeat." I expected it the first time, but by the time I put the book down there had been no actual character development and I didn't see it happening any time soon.
I don't know, maybe it's because I stopped halfway through. Maybe Haynes completely switches gears for the second half and makes things amazing. But honestly, at the rate the book was going and with how little room there was left for the second half, the only way for Haynes to catch up on all the development would have left everything feeling rushed. Which is a damn shame, because it had all the ingredients for the perfect light, adventurous, humorous sci-fi book in my eyes. Haynes just made the mistake of mixing the bowl with a stick of stupid.
- Robots? Check.
- Spaceships? Check.
- Comically-dunderheaded captain? Check.
The last one was the real stickler. I love it when captains get shown up by their crew, but Hal Spacejock takes it to such a level that I cannot suspend my disbelief that he accidentally killed himself with a spoon at age 6. Here we have a one-man crew of an old spaceship who has such a pathetic grasp of how his domain works that he cannot so much as work the docking lift. The entire first quarter of the book was spent with him trying to release his ship from the docking bay, and he couldn't so much as take two steps without something exploding or catching fire as a direct result of his stupidity.
I also believe that he wasn't sure how he wanted to handle robots. He kept treating them as simultaneously property and outright people with metal skin, and I have yet to find a story where the two can intertwine without any problems. Every single piece of metal, from the robot to the ship's AI to any given door or vending machine, had a fully-fledged personality, yet they were all treated as disposable property without any word of backstory as to how such a schism was possible. You just don't have true AI to that extent without some form of robot rights movement.
As for my final complaint, lack of character development. The entire formula for Hal Spacejock basically went "Hal breaks something, robot/AI/someone else fixes it, Hal insults them, rinse and repeat." I expected it the first time, but by the time I put the book down there had been no actual character development and I didn't see it happening any time soon.
I don't know, maybe it's because I stopped halfway through. Maybe Haynes completely switches gears for the second half and makes things amazing. But honestly, at the rate the book was going and with how little room there was left for the second half, the only way for Haynes to catch up on all the development would have left everything feeling rushed. Which is a damn shame, because it had all the ingredients for the perfect light, adventurous, humorous sci-fi book in my eyes. Haynes just made the mistake of mixing the bowl with a stick of stupid.
March 1, 2012
Most of the book, the main character irritated me: he blamed others when things went wrong and took credit when things went right. As I approached the end, that caused me to think I'd rate it 3 or 4 stars (3 being what I give most books). The ending easily threw it to the four star.
Reviews say it is hilarious. I've learned never to believe those. It also may suggest that the plot is subordinated to the humor. I'm happy to report it was a fun, light book (not hilarious, but does earn giggles along the way), and the plot was solid all the way. Before someone says, "but it's British humor, maybe that's why you (from the US) didn't find it hilarious," well, most my life I've watch, and enjoyed, many British comedies, plus I lived in England, thus being enculturated in it even more. So there . . .
I plan on reading its sequels. I also plan to read the Hal Junior series (total of one book, so far).
Reviews say it is hilarious. I've learned never to believe those. It also may suggest that the plot is subordinated to the humor. I'm happy to report it was a fun, light book (not hilarious, but does earn giggles along the way), and the plot was solid all the way. Before someone says, "but it's British humor, maybe that's why you (from the US) didn't find it hilarious," well, most my life I've watch, and enjoyed, many British comedies, plus I lived in England, thus being enculturated in it even more. So there . . .
I plan on reading its sequels. I also plan to read the Hal Junior series (total of one book, so far).
November 3, 2012
I'm a sucker for scifi and I really enjoyed this book. It wasn't genius (for me, that's Douglas Adams) but it was pretty close. I actually thought it would make a great movie because there's so much dry sarcasm and slapstick action that would come across better in film. So I hope somebody makes a movie some day. Good Luck, Simon Haynes.
April 2, 2011
I can't remember when I have enjoyed a book so much! I howled so hard my stomach hurt along with the tears of laughter. Anything can be programmed or hacked to do what you want! Simon Haynes did a great job of it with this book. As soon as I secure some credits I am going for the next book!
June 3, 2018
Generous 1 star and that is ONLY because this was a freebie. If I had paid a single penny for it, I would print out a page or two just so I'd have something to tear up and throw away...
Wow, being a 14-year old fan of science fiction, this book was really swell! Gosh gee willikers, but... no wait, I'm a 54-year old adult that occasionally makes bad decisions because of too-good-to-be-true price offers and is too stubborn to put an awful book down before he wastes part of a Sunday reading it, hoping upon hope that at some point it will get a little bit better...
I can't remember reading a more non-descript, bland book before. I can't say I necessarily hated it because that would imply it had some substance.
I have seen other reviewers mention that it was funny (it was not in the slightest) and even somehow could be compared to the original 'Red Dwarf' books (in that they all contained words, yes, but beyond that, not even vaguely similar). Predictable and void of creativity. Immature and clichéd. And these are the positive traits.
I honestly cannot believe there are 9!! books in this series as well as another 4 'junior' versions (for younger audiences?? Are they like alphabet books?).
Wow, being a 14-year old fan of science fiction, this book was really swell! Gosh gee willikers, but... no wait, I'm a 54-year old adult that occasionally makes bad decisions because of too-good-to-be-true price offers and is too stubborn to put an awful book down before he wastes part of a Sunday reading it, hoping upon hope that at some point it will get a little bit better...
I can't remember reading a more non-descript, bland book before. I can't say I necessarily hated it because that would imply it had some substance.
I have seen other reviewers mention that it was funny (it was not in the slightest) and even somehow could be compared to the original 'Red Dwarf' books (in that they all contained words, yes, but beyond that, not even vaguely similar). Predictable and void of creativity. Immature and clichéd. And these are the positive traits.
I honestly cannot believe there are 9!! books in this series as well as another 4 'junior' versions (for younger audiences?? Are they like alphabet books?).
July 24, 2012
This is a roller coaster science fiction book that never stops. The robots are loveable, more adventurous, smarter, more human like and funnier than C3PO and R2D2. Hal takes a wild ride to pay off debts, save his spaceship, save a friendly robot and to solve the myriad problems that keep popping up because of bad decisions.
The book was a lot of fun and kept you reading long after you were supposed to put it down and do something useful. If you like science fiction with a load of visual adventure then I highly recommend Hal Spacejock.
The book was a lot of fun and kept you reading long after you were supposed to put it down and do something useful. If you like science fiction with a load of visual adventure then I highly recommend Hal Spacejock.
November 11, 2011
I had to give up on this novel before I was even halfway through. It is outrageously unbelievable, which would be acceptable if it were actually funny, but it failed to do more than make half-smile once or twice.
March 29, 2018
I'm pretty much in love with Simon Haynes's writing style. I laughed the entire book through. I want a Clunk.
Read
August 21, 2021A humorous SF adventure. (The humor may be somewhere between British and American.)
We all remember Han Solo - the talented space pilot with the cargo ship. Hal is kind of like that. Well, except Hal's idea of "piloting" is to tell the ship's computer to do it for him. Oh yeah, and his ship is rather run-down. And he's broke - limited skill and effort has led to the loan goons coming for him. With some "encouragement" from the goons Hal accepts an assignment he previuusly rejected. The company is seeking an independent ship because everyone else was "sick" when they realized the cargo is to be picked up in an area where space fleet target practice is scheduled. In addition to the regular cargo, the company asks Hal to take Clunk, an older robot, "to be upgraded" (actually to be stripped for parts.) Meanwhile, the brother of a wealthy businessman also has the loan goons after him, so he plans a scheme to get the cargo from Hal and get the money for himself.
In this context, Hal stumbles through various situations. Between help from Clunk and dumb luck, Hal never quite stumbles all the way off the "cliff." And in the end is ready to continue in the sequels.
We all remember Han Solo - the talented space pilot with the cargo ship. Hal is kind of like that. Well, except Hal's idea of "piloting" is to tell the ship's computer to do it for him. Oh yeah, and his ship is rather run-down. And he's broke - limited skill and effort has led to the loan goons coming for him. With some "encouragement" from the goons Hal accepts an assignment he previuusly rejected. The company is seeking an independent ship because everyone else was "sick" when they realized the cargo is to be picked up in an area where space fleet target practice is scheduled. In addition to the regular cargo, the company asks Hal to take Clunk, an older robot, "to be upgraded" (actually to be stripped for parts.) Meanwhile, the brother of a wealthy businessman also has the loan goons after him, so he plans a scheme to get the cargo from Hal and get the money for himself.
In this context, Hal stumbles through various situations. Between help from Clunk and dumb luck, Hal never quite stumbles all the way off the "cliff." And in the end is ready to continue in the sequels.
April 5, 2018
If you go into this story expecting depth instead of light, larger-than-life comedy, prepare to be disappointed. I, however, I expected it to be a light read with plenty of humor. That there is--another reviewer suggested it being made into a movie, and I could definitely see it as one. A lot of the visuals would convert very well over to a film media. Was it the best story I've ever read? No, but for an afternoon of quiet chuckles at some of the more ridiculous situations Clunk and Hal get into, it certainly serves its purpose. Clank is my favorite--I might check out the sequels just to see what happens next for him.
Read
September 8, 2023Book was okay. But there's a bizarre lack of women in this universe.
There was one, who appeared about halfway through, gave the MC a dirty look and then disappeared.
She re-appeared a few minutes later and insulted him. Then she disappeared for good. No other women are present in the story or even mentioned as existing.
Audio: Narration was decent. A lot of extraneous sound effects in this one.
There was one, who appeared about halfway through, gave the MC a dirty look and then disappeared.
She re-appeared a few minutes later and insulted him. Then she disappeared for good. No other women are present in the story or even mentioned as existing.
Audio: Narration was decent. A lot of extraneous sound effects in this one.
February 12, 2021
A great start to the series where we meet the discarded robot clunk and the hero of our story Hal Spacejock.
Hal runs a tight ship in that his wallet is so tight he can't even arrange for regular maintenance or fuel. Which leads to scam after scam to keep ahead if his debt collectors.
Lots of adventure and lots of laughs throughout the book.
Recommended book and series
Hal runs a tight ship in that his wallet is so tight he can't even arrange for regular maintenance or fuel. Which leads to scam after scam to keep ahead if his debt collectors.
Lots of adventure and lots of laughs throughout the book.
Recommended book and series
September 22, 2018
This was a free download. A space adventure. Was OK.
January 13, 2012
I only find out about Simon Haynes until recently. After finishing his first book, I'm eager to read more. It reminded me, in a way, of reading The Color of Magic for the first time. I had a chuckle or two, here or there, but wasn't sure what to think of it. Imagine my surprise when Terry Pratchett gifted me with a lifetime of humor and insight.
Hal, and his robot foil Clunk, end up going from pratfall to planetfall in this book. The narrative has a nice steady flow, and you're never given too long to really contemplate the silliness of the world and situations in which these two find themselves.
A serious theme or two was briefly touched on (free will, government and business) but shied away from. Haynes wanted to tell, I think, a fun and funny story about a starship pilot and a robot, not delve into the socioeconomic principals of the world.
It's a light read, and a promise of things to come. Time for me to pick up the rest of Simon's work.
Hal, and his robot foil Clunk, end up going from pratfall to planetfall in this book. The narrative has a nice steady flow, and you're never given too long to really contemplate the silliness of the world and situations in which these two find themselves.
A serious theme or two was briefly touched on (free will, government and business) but shied away from. Haynes wanted to tell, I think, a fun and funny story about a starship pilot and a robot, not delve into the socioeconomic principals of the world.
It's a light read, and a promise of things to come. Time for me to pick up the rest of Simon's work.
December 7, 2011
I read this as a free ecopy in exchange for my honest review.
I usually don't like books that are futuristic space stories but I rather enjoyed this one. It reminded me alot of the movie Spaceballs but on a less adolescent level. I thought it was a really funny book with characters full of personality. Hal Spacejock is a pilot that doesn't have a clue how to fly his spaceship. He's accompanied by an aging robot, Clunk, thats trying to escape the scrap heap, and his onboard sarcastic computer Navcom. While trying to deliver cargo to escape debt collectors he's chased about the galaxy by Ferrell and his budy Terry as well as the debt collector and his robot hinchmen. All in all a fun read. If you like outerspace humor or just a good comedy this would be a good choice.
I usually don't like books that are futuristic space stories but I rather enjoyed this one. It reminded me alot of the movie Spaceballs but on a less adolescent level. I thought it was a really funny book with characters full of personality. Hal Spacejock is a pilot that doesn't have a clue how to fly his spaceship. He's accompanied by an aging robot, Clunk, thats trying to escape the scrap heap, and his onboard sarcastic computer Navcom. While trying to deliver cargo to escape debt collectors he's chased about the galaxy by Ferrell and his budy Terry as well as the debt collector and his robot hinchmen. All in all a fun read. If you like outerspace humor or just a good comedy this would be a good choice.
January 7, 2011
I surely can't be the only person to fail to see a great deal of humour in this overlong and rambling work. From the rather cheap and cheesy name Spacejock to the alarmingly telling levels of authorial insecurity (displayed by the necessity of a "this isn't a Red Dwarf spoof" webpage) the book managed not only to fail to amuse me very much, but also put me off thinking about getting the rest of the series, too.
This is a shame because the author seems keen to promote accessible e-books which, as a blind person, I am keen to support. I suppose the story didn't put me to sleep and so one day may well be boring enough to make me pick up the next one.
This is a shame because the author seems keen to promote accessible e-books which, as a blind person, I am keen to support. I suppose the story didn't put me to sleep and so one day may well be boring enough to make me pick up the next one.
July 18, 2012
Better than I thought.
Meet Hal Spacejock the man who makes Mr Bean look like Stephen Hawking. What an idiot, how is he still alive? Mainly due to the downtrodden robot, Clunk.
Very funny in places, I don't know if I'd say it was funnier than Red Dwarf or Hitch-hikers.
Will buy and read the second story on the strength of this novel.
Meet Hal Spacejock the man who makes Mr Bean look like Stephen Hawking. What an idiot, how is he still alive? Mainly due to the downtrodden robot, Clunk.
Very funny in places, I don't know if I'd say it was funnier than Red Dwarf or Hitch-hikers.
Will buy and read the second story on the strength of this novel.
March 30, 2012
This was a free download from Amazon for my Kindle.
It's nothing particularly original but a very fun story with likeable characters that remind me of Red Dwarf or Firefly.
Definitely worth a read!
It's nothing particularly original but a very fun story with likeable characters that remind me of Red Dwarf or Firefly.
Definitely worth a read!
April 17, 2012
Not quite as funny as The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Not quite as adventurous as The Stainless Steel Rat. Not quite as original as, well, something more original would be. It is an amusing, light reading. I like the writing style and the story line.
April 3, 2012
Australian funny science fiction that tries just slightly too hard. Instead of coming off funny, it at times manages only silly. However, when it does get funny, it is extremely funny.
June 29, 2012
A very nice light read. Think Star Wars without the war or Firefly without the darkness. Lots of chases, witty banter and mercifully free of romance and "social messages." Pure space fun.
June 18, 2013
Laughed my ass off. Beats Red Dwarf hands down.
August 30, 2020
You know, I really should have quit this book halfway through. But after I've invested a certain amount of time into reading a book, I feel like it would be a waste to not finish it, even if I'm not enjoying it (and even if it's a Kindle freebie or a library book, where I haven't made a cash investment yet). "Hal Spacejock"/"A Robot Named Clunk" (it seems to have changed names somewhere along the way) is one of those books that I honestly should have dropped a quarter of the way through, but I kept plugging along because surely it had to get better. Spoiler alert -- it doesn't. It tries desperately to be the next The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy but comes across as a weak, watered-down copy with one of the most insufferable Han Solo ripoff protagonists I've ever met.
Hal Spacejock is a spaceship pilot who needs to pay off a substantial loan... but because he refuses to take any jobs that hold even a whiff of piracy or organized crime, he hasn't flown a mission in a very long time. When he finally receives an offer to transport a cargo of robot parts, he leaps on it... even when he learns that the job comes with a co-pilot, a battered but likable robot named Clunk. Hal and Clunk set off on their journey aboard the Black Gull, a ship held together with spit and dumb luck... and soon find themselves tangled up in corporate intrigue, chased by a bloodthirsty loan collector, and struggling with ship malfunctions and Hal's own sheer incompetence.
The writing in this book was fairly bland, though easy enough to read and without any glaringly-obvious spelling or grammar errors. I think there were too many POV characters, some of which barely affected the plot. And the author seems to have all the basic components of a space-adventure novel -- robots, space stations, a barely-hinted-at Empire, energy weapons, etc. -- but doesn't quite get how to gel them together into a coherent universe. It's also hard to tell what parts of the book have been exaggerated for comic effect and which are honest-to-goodness bits of worldbuilding. I'm fine with exaggeration for comedy's sake, but it can be blown up to ridiculous proportions.
Hal himself seems to be an exaggerated caricature of Han Solo from "Star Wars" -- snarky, insulting, and possessing a ship that breaks down whenever one looks at it funny. But the author seems to have given us a Han Solo with all his negative traits amplified and none of his redeeming traits. Han Solo was snarky, insulting, and ran into his fair share of bad luck, yes... but he was also an extremely competent pilot and had a decent, empathetic side to his personality. Hal is so clueless and inept that I question how he even became a pilot in the first place (he doesn't even know how to fly his own ship!), and he has no visible redeeming side to his personality. I liked Clunk as a character much better -- he may have been fairly bland, but at least he had redeeming features, a compelling story arc, and wasn't a complete C3PO ripoff -- and I wish the book had focused on him instead.
It takes more to make a decent genre novel than just assembling all the prerequisite pieces together and slapping on some cliche characters. "Hal Spacejock"/"A Robot Named Clunk"/whatever it's calling itself these days has the pieces, but never does anything interesting with them, and instead of being at all humorous or entertaining is just irritating and dull. If you want a funny sci-fi novel that serves as a spiritual successor to "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," may I suggest Catherynne Valente's Space Opera instead.
Hal Spacejock is a spaceship pilot who needs to pay off a substantial loan... but because he refuses to take any jobs that hold even a whiff of piracy or organized crime, he hasn't flown a mission in a very long time. When he finally receives an offer to transport a cargo of robot parts, he leaps on it... even when he learns that the job comes with a co-pilot, a battered but likable robot named Clunk. Hal and Clunk set off on their journey aboard the Black Gull, a ship held together with spit and dumb luck... and soon find themselves tangled up in corporate intrigue, chased by a bloodthirsty loan collector, and struggling with ship malfunctions and Hal's own sheer incompetence.
The writing in this book was fairly bland, though easy enough to read and without any glaringly-obvious spelling or grammar errors. I think there were too many POV characters, some of which barely affected the plot. And the author seems to have all the basic components of a space-adventure novel -- robots, space stations, a barely-hinted-at Empire, energy weapons, etc. -- but doesn't quite get how to gel them together into a coherent universe. It's also hard to tell what parts of the book have been exaggerated for comic effect and which are honest-to-goodness bits of worldbuilding. I'm fine with exaggeration for comedy's sake, but it can be blown up to ridiculous proportions.
Hal himself seems to be an exaggerated caricature of Han Solo from "Star Wars" -- snarky, insulting, and possessing a ship that breaks down whenever one looks at it funny. But the author seems to have given us a Han Solo with all his negative traits amplified and none of his redeeming traits. Han Solo was snarky, insulting, and ran into his fair share of bad luck, yes... but he was also an extremely competent pilot and had a decent, empathetic side to his personality. Hal is so clueless and inept that I question how he even became a pilot in the first place (he doesn't even know how to fly his own ship!), and he has no visible redeeming side to his personality. I liked Clunk as a character much better -- he may have been fairly bland, but at least he had redeeming features, a compelling story arc, and wasn't a complete C3PO ripoff -- and I wish the book had focused on him instead.
It takes more to make a decent genre novel than just assembling all the prerequisite pieces together and slapping on some cliche characters. "Hal Spacejock"/"A Robot Named Clunk"/whatever it's calling itself these days has the pieces, but never does anything interesting with them, and instead of being at all humorous or entertaining is just irritating and dull. If you want a funny sci-fi novel that serves as a spiritual successor to "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," may I suggest Catherynne Valente's Space Opera instead.
June 3, 2021
I had great hopes for this book. I usually enjoy light-hearted, jokey, Sci-Fi and from the write up that was just what this seemed to be. On the surface, perhaps, it is, and from that perspective there is much to like. What concerned me were the attitudes and assumptions behind the fun story of a fool bumbling his way around the galaxy.
At its heart this story is no different from many others. A man with a ship tries to make a living among the populated planets of a spacefaring future. The man in this case is the on-the-node-named Hal Spacejock. The ship bears more than a passing similarity to the Serenity from Firefly, and the populated planets seem to be filled with greedy or otherwise unpleasant people, most of whom (like the protagonist) are not actually very smart.
It is actually the dumbness of the people that forms one part of my unease with this story. It’s hard to imagine how this pastiche capitalism populated by idiots managed to achieve the star-spanning civilisation and the very high levels of technology which act as props for the buffoonery. We have spaceflight, of course, even hyperspace for faster-than-light travel and some unexplained way of communicating across these vast distances. These are, after all though, just props on which to build a story. The biggest issue I have with the setting, and with the way it is used in the telling, is the robots.
As might be apparent from the title, this universe has robots. Lots of them, each with distinct personalities and, in almost all cases, more intelligence, wisdom and compassion than any of the human characters. Yet for all that, these amazing robotic people are treated as disposable property. They are bought, sold, exploited, worn out and recycled for scrap when no longer financially feasible. Whatever you may say about the difference between metal and flesh, this is unambiguously slavery, and carries with it echoes of every slave-owning society from human history.
As the story progresses we are treated to a parade of slave story tropes. The robot Clunk is initially just cargo until he finally convinces Spacejock that he is useful through an embarrassing “robot sex” analogy with the equally inteligent navigation system on Hal’s ship. Hal pulls the worn out ploy of “selling” Clunk (who then immediately escapes) to make a bit of money. We even meet a pair of escaped robots who decide that a life of independence is too scary, and meekly return to the life of servitude they had despised only a short while earlier. Despite their shared adventures, Hal is happy to immediately hand Clunk over to his “real owner”. Once Hal finds that Clunk is due to be scrapped, has a crisis of conscience, but it is only because he realises he needs a crew member who knows what he is doing and can fly the ship. The solution, following the thread of the rest of the book, is not one of freedom or even any admission that robots can be people too, but a financial transaction, sweetened with blackmail, so that Hal now owns his own robot.
I found the treatment of robots in this story, and the assumption of a culture that takes this exploitation for granted, to be distinctly uncomfortable, and it definitely spoiled what could have been a simple and enjoyable galactic romp. I won’t be rushing to read any more of this series based on this sample.
At its heart this story is no different from many others. A man with a ship tries to make a living among the populated planets of a spacefaring future. The man in this case is the on-the-node-named Hal Spacejock. The ship bears more than a passing similarity to the Serenity from Firefly, and the populated planets seem to be filled with greedy or otherwise unpleasant people, most of whom (like the protagonist) are not actually very smart.
It is actually the dumbness of the people that forms one part of my unease with this story. It’s hard to imagine how this pastiche capitalism populated by idiots managed to achieve the star-spanning civilisation and the very high levels of technology which act as props for the buffoonery. We have spaceflight, of course, even hyperspace for faster-than-light travel and some unexplained way of communicating across these vast distances. These are, after all though, just props on which to build a story. The biggest issue I have with the setting, and with the way it is used in the telling, is the robots.
As might be apparent from the title, this universe has robots. Lots of them, each with distinct personalities and, in almost all cases, more intelligence, wisdom and compassion than any of the human characters. Yet for all that, these amazing robotic people are treated as disposable property. They are bought, sold, exploited, worn out and recycled for scrap when no longer financially feasible. Whatever you may say about the difference between metal and flesh, this is unambiguously slavery, and carries with it echoes of every slave-owning society from human history.
As the story progresses we are treated to a parade of slave story tropes. The robot Clunk is initially just cargo until he finally convinces Spacejock that he is useful through an embarrassing “robot sex” analogy with the equally inteligent navigation system on Hal’s ship. Hal pulls the worn out ploy of “selling” Clunk (who then immediately escapes) to make a bit of money. We even meet a pair of escaped robots who decide that a life of independence is too scary, and meekly return to the life of servitude they had despised only a short while earlier. Despite their shared adventures, Hal is happy to immediately hand Clunk over to his “real owner”. Once Hal finds that Clunk is due to be scrapped, has a crisis of conscience, but it is only because he realises he needs a crew member who knows what he is doing and can fly the ship. The solution, following the thread of the rest of the book, is not one of freedom or even any admission that robots can be people too, but a financial transaction, sweetened with blackmail, so that Hal now owns his own robot.
I found the treatment of robots in this story, and the assumption of a culture that takes this exploitation for granted, to be distinctly uncomfortable, and it definitely spoiled what could have been a simple and enjoyable galactic romp. I won’t be rushing to read any more of this series based on this sample.
April 23, 2018
kindle unlimited
It's a simple job, straight in and out ... but don't be late.
Clunk's grateful when his boss sends him for a refit, because old robots are usually junked.
But you just know there's a catch. I mean, come on, Clunk's a little naive, but he's an intelligent robot.
Turns out the workshop is on the next planet, and Clunk's boss wants him to carry out a trivial task while he's there: help a freelancer pick up some cargo.
How can he refuse? Clunk's a certified co-pilot, so landing in a deserted field under cover of darkness, avoiding customs ships, orbital lasers and trigger-happy warships along the way, is not a problem. Plus he's a robot, so he has no choice.
Unfortunately the freelance pilot is a much bigger challenge, because Hal Spacejock is obstinate, over-confident, and woefully under-skilled, and yet he refuses to cede control of his ship to a mere robot.
Worse, Hal's only got 24 hours to pay off his debts, or he'll lose his ship ... and his life.
Can the two of them sort out their differences and deliver the cargo, or will they still be wrestling over the controls when both deadlines expire?
Set in the distant future, where humanity spans the galaxy and robots are second-class citizens, this is the first novel in the Hal Spacejock series. (The first three novels are available in a box set called Omnibus One, which is usually cheaper than buying them individually. Omnibus Two is also available.)
These novels are self-contained, with a beginning, a middle and a proper ending. They're not sequels, they don't end on a cliffhanger, and you could start or end your journey with any book in the series. Some events from earlier books are referenced in later ones, so it makes sense to read them in order, but it's not essential.
There's also a new spin-off series, Harriet Walsh, featuring the popular Peace Force character from Hal Spacejock 4: No Free Lunch.
Hal Junior 1: The Secret Signal: science fiction for ages 8-12
Hal Junior 2: The Missing Case: science fiction for ages 8-12
Hal Junior 3: The Gyris Mission: science fiction for ages 8-12
Hal Spacejock 1: A robot named Clunk
Hal Spacejock 2: Second Course
Hal Spacejock 3: Just Desserts
Hal Spacejock Omnibus One {Hal Spacejock Omnibus One Hal Spacejock #1-3, PLUS a bonus short story: Hal Spacejock Visit/4.2}
Hal Spacejock 4: No Free Lunch
Hal Spacejock 4.1: Framed
Hal Spacejock 4.2: Visit
Hal Spacejock 5: Baker's Dough
Hal Spacejock 6: Safe Art
Hal Spacejock 7.1: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.2: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.3: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.4: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.5: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.6: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.7: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.8: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.9: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.10: Big Ban
Hal Spacejock 8: Double Trouble
It's a simple job, straight in and out ... but don't be late.
Clunk's grateful when his boss sends him for a refit, because old robots are usually junked.
But you just know there's a catch. I mean, come on, Clunk's a little naive, but he's an intelligent robot.
Turns out the workshop is on the next planet, and Clunk's boss wants him to carry out a trivial task while he's there: help a freelancer pick up some cargo.
How can he refuse? Clunk's a certified co-pilot, so landing in a deserted field under cover of darkness, avoiding customs ships, orbital lasers and trigger-happy warships along the way, is not a problem. Plus he's a robot, so he has no choice.
Unfortunately the freelance pilot is a much bigger challenge, because Hal Spacejock is obstinate, over-confident, and woefully under-skilled, and yet he refuses to cede control of his ship to a mere robot.
Worse, Hal's only got 24 hours to pay off his debts, or he'll lose his ship ... and his life.
Can the two of them sort out their differences and deliver the cargo, or will they still be wrestling over the controls when both deadlines expire?
Set in the distant future, where humanity spans the galaxy and robots are second-class citizens, this is the first novel in the Hal Spacejock series. (The first three novels are available in a box set called Omnibus One, which is usually cheaper than buying them individually. Omnibus Two is also available.)
These novels are self-contained, with a beginning, a middle and a proper ending. They're not sequels, they don't end on a cliffhanger, and you could start or end your journey with any book in the series. Some events from earlier books are referenced in later ones, so it makes sense to read them in order, but it's not essential.
There's also a new spin-off series, Harriet Walsh, featuring the popular Peace Force character from Hal Spacejock 4: No Free Lunch.
Hal Junior 1: The Secret Signal: science fiction for ages 8-12
Hal Junior 2: The Missing Case: science fiction for ages 8-12
Hal Junior 3: The Gyris Mission: science fiction for ages 8-12
Hal Spacejock 1: A robot named Clunk
Hal Spacejock 2: Second Course
Hal Spacejock 3: Just Desserts
Hal Spacejock Omnibus One {Hal Spacejock Omnibus One Hal Spacejock #1-3, PLUS a bonus short story: Hal Spacejock Visit/4.2}
Hal Spacejock 4: No Free Lunch
Hal Spacejock 4.1: Framed
Hal Spacejock 4.2: Visit
Hal Spacejock 5: Baker's Dough
Hal Spacejock 6: Safe Art
Hal Spacejock 7.1: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.2: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.3: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.4: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.5: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.6: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.7: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.8: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.9: Big Bang
Hal Spacejock 7.10: Big Ban
Hal Spacejock 8: Double Trouble
August 1, 2020
Review of "A Robot Named Clunk" by Simon Haynes. By James, age 11, 8/1/20
When the book starts, Hal Spacejock is bankrupt and in complete economic jeopardy. A loanshark comes wanting to collect a loan. He argues with the loanshark and gets a couple more days. He owns a freighter and ships stuff around the galaxy. So he accepts a shady offer from someone to go and pick up a bunch of robot parts and deliver them. The whole book is the story of that journey, and a bunch of things go wrong. The launchpad catches on fire - stuff like that. The guy who wants him to deliver the cargo asks him if he could pick up a robot for him, because the robot needs transportation to "Incubots." The robot is a qualified pilot and will help with the night landing that Spacejock needs to make. Of course what Hal does not know is that the robot is on its way to the scapheap and this would be the last flight of the robot because it's getting old.
By the end of the book, after a bunch of stuff happens, he ends up rescuing the robot from the scrapheap. People try to steal his cargo, in an elaborate scheme that involves the bad guys buying a brand new, great ship. Hal was being held prisoner on his own ship, but escapces and steals the very nice Gamma-class frieghter. He considers this fair, given that they stole his ship. Clunk points out it's not "fair," because it's such a better ship. Hal Spacejock says "I know, I don't care, they stole my ship and so I'm stealing theirs."
The bad guys are never seen again due to a bomb placed on the hyperspace drive in Hal's junky ship (which, of course, they stole.) So it blows up with them in it. And thus the book ends with Hal being reformed - or at least being a lot nicer. His heart still isn't great, but I am sure it will improve with the rest of the series. At least it's in the right place, deep down.
I liked this book. I thought it was very funny and it had some really good parts. I don't have anything I don't really like about the book, but there was some rude humor in it. I still loved it.
Mom: Who does Hal Spacejock remind you of?
James: I don't know. Luke (Skywalker) is nowhere near as bad as him.
Mom: After some discussion we observe several parallels between Hal and Han Solo. James prefers to focus on the non-matches. Hal is not a nice guy, isn't terribly friendly towards his co-pilot, etc. But we agree that they are built on the same pattern. And that this can be legitimate, not simply a rip-off of Star Wars, because most of the great stories in the human race include similar archetypes: the orphan with a mystic, heroic destiny, the rogue with a heart of gold, the elderly mentor who sacrifices himself, etc.
When the book starts, Hal Spacejock is bankrupt and in complete economic jeopardy. A loanshark comes wanting to collect a loan. He argues with the loanshark and gets a couple more days. He owns a freighter and ships stuff around the galaxy. So he accepts a shady offer from someone to go and pick up a bunch of robot parts and deliver them. The whole book is the story of that journey, and a bunch of things go wrong. The launchpad catches on fire - stuff like that. The guy who wants him to deliver the cargo asks him if he could pick up a robot for him, because the robot needs transportation to "Incubots." The robot is a qualified pilot and will help with the night landing that Spacejock needs to make. Of course what Hal does not know is that the robot is on its way to the scapheap and this would be the last flight of the robot because it's getting old.
By the end of the book, after a bunch of stuff happens, he ends up rescuing the robot from the scrapheap. People try to steal his cargo, in an elaborate scheme that involves the bad guys buying a brand new, great ship. Hal was being held prisoner on his own ship, but escapces and steals the very nice Gamma-class frieghter. He considers this fair, given that they stole his ship. Clunk points out it's not "fair," because it's such a better ship. Hal Spacejock says "I know, I don't care, they stole my ship and so I'm stealing theirs."
The bad guys are never seen again due to a bomb placed on the hyperspace drive in Hal's junky ship (which, of course, they stole.) So it blows up with them in it. And thus the book ends with Hal being reformed - or at least being a lot nicer. His heart still isn't great, but I am sure it will improve with the rest of the series. At least it's in the right place, deep down.
I liked this book. I thought it was very funny and it had some really good parts. I don't have anything I don't really like about the book, but there was some rude humor in it. I still loved it.
Mom: Who does Hal Spacejock remind you of?
James: I don't know. Luke (Skywalker) is nowhere near as bad as him.
Mom: After some discussion we observe several parallels between Hal and Han Solo. James prefers to focus on the non-matches. Hal is not a nice guy, isn't terribly friendly towards his co-pilot, etc. But we agree that they are built on the same pattern. And that this can be legitimate, not simply a rip-off of Star Wars, because most of the great stories in the human race include similar archetypes: the orphan with a mystic, heroic destiny, the rogue with a heart of gold, the elderly mentor who sacrifices himself, etc.
November 1, 2020
Hal is back again and getting into more hilarious scrapes!
Hal Spacejock is a useless pilot. He is also a useless freight carrier. He's a fool basically but a kind and loveable one.
He has no idea how to do anything. He has no possibility of getting a job because of his lack of skills. And to say his life is complicated by that is an understatement.
He has taken out loan after loan after loan and is still only just scraping by. Even being frugal with his credits and buying the cheapest of Everything, Hal is still just about managing to eat. And with no finances coming in from any work, He's up to his neck in serious debt.
He is totally out of credits and desperate for work, but his foolish pride keeps stopping him from taking paying jobs. As far as he is concerned, they are all crooked and therefore beneath him. That is until till a debt collector arrives at the airlock of the Black Gull. Thinking the debt collector is here to offer him the loan he recently applied for, Hal lets him in, only to be attacked by a huge, vicious robot called Brutus, while its debt collector owner, Mr.Vurdi Makalukar, observes. Vurdi tells Hal that he has one day to find the money he owes his client or Brutus will destroy the Black Gull and kill Hal!
Naturally Hal quickly gets hold of the man who wants him to move freight for him. The man, Mr. Jerling, wants Hal to pick up some freight from one planet and on the way he is to collect a robot pilot named Clunk that belongs to Jerling, and drop him off when at the freight collection point. Hal quickly agrees and sets off to find the planet where the freight is. Unfortunately things don't go smoothly for Hal or Clunk. Everything goes badly from the start.
Hal Spacejock is naturally funny as a character but when Clunk is added into the mix it's hilarious.
These stories have great plots and the comedy aspect is very much like watching a slapstick comedy of the Laurel & Hardy type, but in space! Literally nothing goes to plan and all poor Hal and Clunk can do is hang on for dear life and fear for their fragile futures.
The effortless style of this story is what makes it so good. It's funny, but it's more than that. It is charming in a cosy mystery kind of way and full of many faceted characters that I have come to really like, especially Clunk. He's adorable and yet brilliant. Undervalued by Jerling as an old make of robot but highly valued by Hal.
I love this book and the series. If I was trapped on a desert island with nothing but a choice of books, this would be in my top three books of choice.
Hal Spacejock is a useless pilot. He is also a useless freight carrier. He's a fool basically but a kind and loveable one.
He has no idea how to do anything. He has no possibility of getting a job because of his lack of skills. And to say his life is complicated by that is an understatement.
He has taken out loan after loan after loan and is still only just scraping by. Even being frugal with his credits and buying the cheapest of Everything, Hal is still just about managing to eat. And with no finances coming in from any work, He's up to his neck in serious debt.
He is totally out of credits and desperate for work, but his foolish pride keeps stopping him from taking paying jobs. As far as he is concerned, they are all crooked and therefore beneath him. That is until till a debt collector arrives at the airlock of the Black Gull. Thinking the debt collector is here to offer him the loan he recently applied for, Hal lets him in, only to be attacked by a huge, vicious robot called Brutus, while its debt collector owner, Mr.Vurdi Makalukar, observes. Vurdi tells Hal that he has one day to find the money he owes his client or Brutus will destroy the Black Gull and kill Hal!
Naturally Hal quickly gets hold of the man who wants him to move freight for him. The man, Mr. Jerling, wants Hal to pick up some freight from one planet and on the way he is to collect a robot pilot named Clunk that belongs to Jerling, and drop him off when at the freight collection point. Hal quickly agrees and sets off to find the planet where the freight is. Unfortunately things don't go smoothly for Hal or Clunk. Everything goes badly from the start.
Hal Spacejock is naturally funny as a character but when Clunk is added into the mix it's hilarious.
These stories have great plots and the comedy aspect is very much like watching a slapstick comedy of the Laurel & Hardy type, but in space! Literally nothing goes to plan and all poor Hal and Clunk can do is hang on for dear life and fear for their fragile futures.
The effortless style of this story is what makes it so good. It's funny, but it's more than that. It is charming in a cosy mystery kind of way and full of many faceted characters that I have come to really like, especially Clunk. He's adorable and yet brilliant. Undervalued by Jerling as an old make of robot but highly valued by Hal.
I love this book and the series. If I was trapped on a desert island with nothing but a choice of books, this would be in my top three books of choice.
April 6, 2019
I saw this book and was a little leery of it due to its title (I mean, "A Robot Named Clunk" seems a little too on the nose for a robot name), but I fell in love with the Bobiverse books by Dennis E. Taylor (Another SciFi title I was leery of before), and so I thought I'd give this book a chance.
I can't believe anyone in this book is able to survive.
The whole book seems like one giant stream of consciousness from a person who thinks everyone in the universe is stupid. And by that, I mean his readers.
It uses the, "What can go wrong next" method of writing, except the things that go wrong are usually things that shouldn't have gone wrong because any person living in that universe would know better. (Like, you probably wouldn't be surprised in our world if you got a ticket for parking in a handicap spot if you're not a person with a disability and special tags. You may not like it, but you wouldn't be shocked for it happening.
You also wouldn't be surprised if your house burned down because you poured gasoline in your living room and then lit a match and threw it on the floor. You'd be insane for doing it, but I don't expect you to be surprised when your house starts burning.
That is the level of stupid the people in this book are. They are the type of people who park their cars on train tracks and then are surprised when the come back to find that their car has been decimated by a train, and also don't understand why the people with badges are angry at them, I mean, they only parked their car to go into the gas station and get a pack of cigarettes, what's the big deal, right? <- That is the level of stupid for at least half the characters in this book.
I can't believe anyone in this book is able to survive.
The whole book seems like one giant stream of consciousness from a person who thinks everyone in the universe is stupid. And by that, I mean his readers.
It uses the, "What can go wrong next" method of writing, except the things that go wrong are usually things that shouldn't have gone wrong because any person living in that universe would know better. (Like, you probably wouldn't be surprised in our world if you got a ticket for parking in a handicap spot if you're not a person with a disability and special tags. You may not like it, but you wouldn't be shocked for it happening.
You also wouldn't be surprised if your house burned down because you poured gasoline in your living room and then lit a match and threw it on the floor. You'd be insane for doing it, but I don't expect you to be surprised when your house starts burning.
That is the level of stupid the people in this book are. They are the type of people who park their cars on train tracks and then are surprised when the come back to find that their car has been decimated by a train, and also don't understand why the people with badges are angry at them, I mean, they only parked their car to go into the gas station and get a pack of cigarettes, what's the big deal, right? <- That is the level of stupid for at least half the characters in this book.
July 11, 2018
A Robot Named Clunk was a nice little discovery by Simon Haynes. It is the first in a series called Hal Space Jock. The robot that the book is named after join Hal in a simple mission, what follows is a series of mishaps that is compounded by Hal. The effect of the story is one of a series of problems that build upon each other and finally come a stunning conclusion.
Some of the accidents seemed a little contrived as they happen just when Hal or Clunk seem to be achieving what they wanted. The feel is of a man and a robot assigned to him by a mega corporation are the but of a collection of jokes set up by fate. They sometimes avoid death and dismemberment by a lucky accident or just plain stupidity.
I kept reading right to the end, Simon Haynes does have a way with keeping you on the edge of your seat. If you like a fun time and watching the slapstick antics of a robot and an incompetent pilot, this book will be for you.
I was quite impressed with Simons Haynes ability to keep the story going and still manage to find plausible reasons for the characters to do something either really clever to get out of a situation or really stupid to create an even later on that solved on of their problems.
4/5
Some of the accidents seemed a little contrived as they happen just when Hal or Clunk seem to be achieving what they wanted. The feel is of a man and a robot assigned to him by a mega corporation are the but of a collection of jokes set up by fate. They sometimes avoid death and dismemberment by a lucky accident or just plain stupidity.
I kept reading right to the end, Simon Haynes does have a way with keeping you on the edge of your seat. If you like a fun time and watching the slapstick antics of a robot and an incompetent pilot, this book will be for you.
I was quite impressed with Simons Haynes ability to keep the story going and still manage to find plausible reasons for the characters to do something either really clever to get out of a situation or really stupid to create an even later on that solved on of their problems.
4/5
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