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Augustus Carp, Esq.

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A Churchwarden, Sunday school superintendent, and President of the St Potamus Purity League, Augustus Carp is assiduous in exposing the sins and foibles of others while studiously ignoring his own. Although he campaigns against lechery, drinking, and smoking, he manages to indulge himself in plenty of other vices in the name of piety. The more seriously Carp takes himself, the more ridiculous he becomes. His frequent falls from dignity are uproarious—from his inability to climb off buses without falling over to his lifelong problems with flatulence. As a satire on hypocrisy, there is nothing quite like it in English prose.

231 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1924

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About the author

Henry Howarth Bashford

22 books6 followers
Sir Henry Howarth Bashford (1880 – 1961) was a distinguished English physician, becoming doctor to George VI. He is now remembered as a writer, in particular of the satirical Augustus Carp, Esq., By Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man (1924), which was first published anonymously.

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5 stars
187 (30%)
4 stars
193 (31%)
3 stars
169 (27%)
2 stars
42 (6%)
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20 (3%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
Profile Image for Guille.
889 reviews2,564 followers
February 3, 2022

“No atribuyamos a la maldad lo que pueda ser explicado por la estupidez” Principio de Hanlon
Este libro, que me ha hecho reír en no pocas ocasiones, ilustra a las mil maravillas lo que se entiende por un imbécil y lo peligroso que es tener a uno cerca.
“Conviene ceder el paso a los tontos y a los toros.” (Refrán popular)
Augustus Carp aglutina en su anodina persona todo el narcisismo que caracteriza al imbécil, su pretenciosidad, la fatal ignorancia de su circunstancia, la imposibilidad de su curación. Los imbéciles como Augustus Carp no se detienen nunca, su fe ciega impresiona al incauto, y uno y otro harán cierto el famoso aforismo de Bernard Shaw que así reza:
"La osadía de los tontos es ilimitada, y su capacidad para arrastrar a las masas, insuperable."
Así nos va.
Profile Image for Majenta.
310 reviews1,262 followers
May 19, 2019
A solid 4.5 or 4.75. Much easier to get through than THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF TRISTRAM SHANDY, GENTLEMAN (Laurence Sterne), although I'll keep trying to get through that!

"'But how can a weed be before the rind?' said my father." (Location 1398)

"Choking as I was, however, and in spite of his exceptional height, I was able to look him full in the collar and assure him that from that moment I should cease to number him amongst even the most distant of my acquaintances." (Location 1578)

"'Goldfish,' I cried. 'That's what they are. Poor lost goldfish without a shepherd.'" (Location 2322)

"...that not even yet had I been called upon to face the ultimate temperature of my refining fire." (Location 2683)

Thanks for reading!
Profile Image for Andy Marr.
Author 4 books1,052 followers
August 14, 2022
Genuinely hilarious. I laughed myself silly at times, and almost wet myself at others.
Profile Image for Mark.
393 reviews321 followers
May 27, 2011
Absolutely hilarious. Don't really need to say more....but I will. Carp is a totally obnoxious, arrogant, self-righeous prig who has purportedly written his own memoir; I squirmed with embarassment at his total lack of self knowledge and laughed out loud at his failure to grasp people's reactions to his holding forth. The wonderful thing is we stand, as the reader, in a position of interpreting correctly people's guffaws and sarcasms but Carp misreads and preens quite riotously. Marvelously named characters litter the pages and his purple prose demands to be read out loud in the most pretentiously pompous voice you can muster. His description of his slipping on a mat and falling on his backside doesn't sound like the stuff of genius comic writing, i promise you it is. His description of his average day is fabulous and his undoing is a total delight. This is so worth the read.
Profile Image for Linda.
23 reviews2 followers
March 22, 2012
The rating system for goodreads makes it more difficult to award 5 stars, as not every book that you enjoy is "amazing". I had no hesitation in ranking this book as 5 star, however, as it is absolutely brilliant! Very, very funny and while it is much less well known than Three Men in a Boat or The Diary of a Nobody, it is as good (if not better) than either of these. The wonderfully pompous hypocrisy of Augustus is beautifully written and the characters that surround him are equally eccentric and grotesque. One of the most enjoyable books I have ever read.
Profile Image for Barbara Roden.
35 reviews9 followers
February 14, 2009
A comic masterpiece which deserves to be much better known. The title character is a monster of self-unawareness and pomposity, but a hilarious one; the type of book that you shouldn't read while in company, because you'll alternately be laughing out loud and trying to read great chunks of it to anyone who's nearby.
Profile Image for Nancy.
404 reviews88 followers
July 20, 2014
I don't know how I failed to discover this comic masterpiece until now, but a pleasure all the greater for being deferred, I suppose. The only sobering aspect is that Carps still walk among us, almost century later.
Profile Image for JimZ.
1,194 reviews644 followers
October 19, 2022
This was a worth-it read. I’ve had the book around for 20 years in my personal library and never got around to reading it, but it was a small paperback, and I was going on a trip and I wanted to pack books that were compact, and this was one of them. The book is narrated by a complete pompous obnoxious jerk (i.e., a++hole). He had a father who fit that description to a tee, so he was merely following in his father’s footsteps. His father treated his wife like a servant, and his son did no better. His son was eager to rat on his so-called friends if that would gain him favor with other people who could advance his standing in the environment he was presently in. What I liked about this novel and why I consider it a Goodread is that he (the son and narrator of the novel) gets his comeuppance.

The book reminded me of the main character in two of Elizabeth von Arnim’s novels: Everard Wemyss from the wonderful book ‘Vera’ and Baron Otto von Ottringel (a pompous and self-important major in the German army) in the book ‘The Caravaners’. In the latter book the Baron also gets his comeuppance which was gratifying to me as the reader.

From the front cover of the book:
‘The funniest unknown book in the world’ — Robert Robinson

From the back cover of the book:
‘One of the great comic novels of the twentieth century’ — Anthony Burgess
‘One of those little masterpieces which seem to pop up from nowhere’ — Frank Muir

Reviews:
https://www.arbuturian.com/culture/bo...
https://oedeboyz.com/2019/03/18/book-...
https://swiftlytiltingplanet.wordpres...
Profile Image for Kathleen.
181 reviews27 followers
March 27, 2017
The story of Augustus Carp, as only he could tell it. This satirical faux autobiography from 1924 was a delight to read. It felt like a vacation from reading contemporary books, even though we all know someone like Carp in every generation.

The pomposity and lack of self-awareness of Augustus Carp (and his father, also named Augustus Carp) is the source of humor. In the first paragraph he explains his moral duty to write about himself so as to set an example in society as a man of such high moral character. He then tells of his birth, his dignified father (pompous & insufferable), his mother (who is only mentioned when she is in servitude to him or his father), and others who seem to all have character flaws as a reason they do not get along with Carp. One must read between the lines to enjoy this as Carp unwittingly reveals to us his own lack of character.

I enjoyed this very much, although I felt that the humor probably runs even deeper than I realize, as it was written in early 20th century Great Britain, and some of the references are lost on me, I'm afraid, nearly 100 years later on the other side of the pond, as they say.

Thank you to NetGalley and Dover publications for providing me with a electronic copy to review.
Profile Image for Leslie.
2,760 reviews223 followers
May 9, 2018
3.5*

While I could appreciate the humor of this satire of the pompous & self-righteous Carp men, this novel never made me laugh out loud though I did smile often. I'm glad that I read it but still prefer Jerome K. Jerome or P.G. Wodehouse.
Profile Image for Simon.
24 reviews
December 8, 2015
~ No apology for writing this review ~

It is customary, I have noticed, in writing a review, to preface it with some sort of caveat. But there are times, and surely the present is one of them, when to do so is manifestly unnecessary.

For some time - I am now forty-one and in the full flower of my southern metropolitan Xtian manhood - I had been feeling the need to review this admirably conceived book with increasing urgency. And when not only my wife and her four sisters, but the vicar of my Parish, approached me with the same suggestion, I felt that delay would amount to sin. That sin, by many persons, is now lightly regarded, I am, of course, only too well aware. But I am not one of them. On every ground I am an unflinching opponent of sin. I have rebuked it in others. I have strictly refrained from it in myself. And for that reason alone I have deemed it incumbent upon me to issue this review.

I propose in the first instance to deal with the central protagonist of this superb volume. Augustus Carp being, as one might justly demand, A Really Good Man - is an increasingly rare beacon of light in these dark and sinful times. Commendably pious, and a staunch crusader against sin in all its myriad forms, he is blessed not only with a healthy appetite, but is in the fortunate posession of an admirable girth - a full one yard measured around the waist (fully clothed of course).

Nor is that all. Always an untiring campaigner against lechery, drinking, smoking and the saltatory arts, Mr Carp nevertheless succeeds - despite frequently being compelled to bear the heavy cross that P* sees fit to set upon him - in rising not only to the level of senior Sidesman (a position previously enjoyed by his late father at St James the Less, Camberwell; St James the Lesser-Still, Peckam Rye; and laterly at St James the Least-of-all, Kennington Oval) but also ascends the ranks of the Kennington division of the S.P.S.D.T (Society for the Prohibition of the Strong Drink Traffic) and the N.S.L (Non-smokers League).

That Mr Carp's unstinting efforts in providing moral guidance to weaker souls should be assailed so frequently and so greivously by the vicissitudes of metropolitan life is, sadly, to be expected. From being the victim of a despiciable Portugalade poisoning, to having his burgeoning career in Xtian commerce so unjustly cut short, Mr Carp's many unfortunate set-backs serve only to strengthen the reader's own sense of indignation against the injustices of this earthly realm.

Surely then, in these days, when the sordid flicker of the cinematograph lures courser-fibred souls from the higher pleasures of the Athanasian Creed - and indeed of edifying volumes such as this one - nothing is more urgently required, at every level of society, than the noble example set before us in his own words by such an exemplar of moral fortitude as Augustus Carp, Esq.



*Providence


Profile Image for Eleanor.
580 reviews54 followers
October 6, 2014
This book is hilarious and brilliantly sustained throughout. It's impossible to quote from it, though the Goodreads extract given as the description of the contents will give the flavour. Get hold of a copy and read it as soon as possible.
Profile Image for Wanda.
642 reviews
July 26, 2014
Free download here --

http://manybooks.net/titles/bashfordh...


25 JUL 2014 - Friday is "clean-the-house" night. And, thankfully, it is done. So, I have downloaded this one and will enjoy reading Augustus' story tomorrow. WooHoo!!

26 JUL 2014 -- Chap. 3 -- this made me laugh out to picture this scene in my mind --

Suffering though he was, my father then rose to his feet and was once more about to address Desmond, when Mrs O'Flaherty, revealed in her true character, ferociously caught him by the shoulders. As I have already recorded, she was a woman of repulsively over-developed physique, and she now began to shake my father so violently that his upper denture fell to the ground.

Can you just picture this man being shaken by the charwoman so violently that his false teeth fall out of his mouth?! Too funny!

Ah, Augustus! You are a legend in your own mind and would presume to believe you are a legend in everyone else's mind too. Silly man! But, truth be told -- we all know an Augustus in our own circle of friends. I know I do!
36 reviews3 followers
February 11, 2013
A classic annihilation of English society in the late 19th century and still relevant today. Full of one-liners, never to be forgotten, wonderful names, fantastic illustrations, it conjures up a world of prigs living in a world they feel they understand, but never will.

I started this book in 1985, and felt sated with the first few pages - I went on to recommend it to several friends and bought them copies - but to my shame this is the first time I have read it from cover to cover, and it is much better than I had first realised. A superb expose of human nature at its worst.
1,734 reviews36 followers
May 4, 2014
This satirical novel from 1924 is a masterpiece. Augustus Carp decides at the ripe old age of 47 to write his autobiography. He is a glutton, a hypocrite and a coward who blackmails and bullies his way through life..always convinced he is a true Christian (or Xtian, as he spells it). After obtaining a job with a publisher of improving literature, he dedicates his life to eating and sermonizing. He is particularly interested in saving a pretty young actress from her misguided ways. When he convinces her to accompany him to a prayer meeting, and after copious amounts of Portugalade, his carefully constructed moral authority comes crashing around his ears. And the reader roots for the revenge of Augustus Carp's victims, including his downtrodden mother. The particular charm of the book is not just the well-deserved come-uppance at the end, but the total double-speak in which it is written. Augustus Carp describes himself and his equally loathsome father as shining examples of moral rectitude, but the reader is not deceived : these are prime examples of self-regard and hypocrisy, often with hilarious consequences.

Recommended for everyone who can use a laugh.
Profile Image for Rupert Smith.
Author 22 books40 followers
November 14, 2013
An obscure gem if ever there was one. I first came across Augustus Carp in the late 70s when Kenneth Williams read it on the radio – wonder if there’s a recording of that anywhere? Finally I tracked it down in a second-hand bookshop, and I’ve probably read it once a year since then. It’s in one of my favourite sub-genres, the satirical bogus autobiography (see also Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Little Me and my own stab at it, I Must Confess). Augustus is by his own account ‘a really good man’ whose chief interests in life are eating himself to obesity, campaigning against immorality and blackmailing his employers. It’s largely set in south London, which is always a bonus. Many of the lines in Augustus Carp are in daily use in our house (‘In the full flower of his Metropolitan Xtian manhood’) and I laugh like a drain every time I open the book. First published anonymously, the book turned out to be the work of the King’s physician Henry Howarth Bashford, which is curiously gratifying given the novel’s preoccupation with unpleasant bodily ills.
Profile Image for Bob.
853 reviews75 followers
May 22, 2015
A cult favorite of sorts, this is a satirical autobiography of a pious and pompous evangelical (Low Church, rather than Nonconformist for those who keep track of such subtleties), published anonymously in 1924 and set a few years earlier, though world events and technological innovation matter little in the narrow confines of Southeast London where our complacent "hero" plies his trade.
Guided and inspired by his identical father, the two get ahead (though not very far) in the world, neither by good works or grace - rather through the constant application of threatened lawsuits, petty blackmail and bullying.
Augustus père et fils eventually get several comeuppances, though too narcissistic to be humbled. The father dies, the son accommodates his standard of living to a modest dowry from a crassly engineered marriage and concludes by bearing a son who promises to perpetuate the cycle.
Carp's carefully crafted, intentionally ridiculous, language is what makes the book funny and fast-moving.
Profile Image for Mike.
Author 45 books173 followers
Shelved as 'partly-read'
June 13, 2022
The joke - there's only one - is that Augustus Carp thinks he's perfect, and he's actually a self-righteous prig, following in the footsteps of his father. There's a nice bit of unreliable-narrator stuff where Augustus talks about how his father had difficulty finding godfathers for young Augustus at his baptism, because his high standards meant he had no friends (reading only a little between the lines: because he was such an intolerable ass that nobody would be his friend) and eventually had to recruit the vicar as one godfather and take the other spot himself. It does do a good job of the unreliable narrator, but there wasn't enough else to it to hold my interest past 22%, and since Augustus and his father are deliberately loathsome, I didn't especially want to read about them.

Lots of dangling modifiers. I'm not sure if this is part of the voice of Augustus or a fault of the author's.
Profile Image for Ci.
960 reviews6 followers
March 16, 2011
For those who are curious about learning "the theory of mind", this book is a challenge. You must look at the world through the eyes and minds and self-image of an exceptionally nasty piece of humanity: a god-fearing, law-abiding, litigious, humorless, pontificating self-righteous “good man” who made his life’s work of lecturing others and torturing them at any given chance to “punish the sinful”.

The story started slowly from his birth till his youth. Then the story picked up speed till it almost went for a full-frontal crash. Yet, the circle of life goes on: Mr. Carp returns to us generation after generation. One must try to see the world from their eyes since we can never be rid of his kind.
Profile Image for Mandy.
3,462 reviews311 followers
April 9, 2017
This is such a delightfully funny gem of a book, very British in its satire and irony, and very much in the tradition of British comic writing, with its priggish, pompous and self-satisfied narrator, Augustus Carp himself, who is firmly convinced of his own self-righteousness, but who in reality is an insufferable hypocrite and bore. First published anonymously in 1924, and later discovered to be the work of a doctor, Sir Henry Howarth Bashford, honorary Physician to George VI, it’s a book that truly deserves to be better known.
Profile Image for Melissa Koser.
300 reviews7 followers
September 15, 2017
This book is delightfully horrid. My husband and I read it aloud to each other, and could only handle one or two chapters at a time before we needed a break. The main character is dreadfully odious, and yet you can't help but read a little farther to discover that he really can get worse. I don't think I'll ever read this book again, but it has certainly been an experience I'll never forget.
Profile Image for Nora Rawn.
751 reviews5 followers
August 9, 2021
Certainly a fine piece of satire, though perhaps that's not my favorite genre. I wondered if Toole had read this; I felt shades of A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES in it. The escape of the mother was an unlooked for highlight, and the ending is structural perfection.
Profile Image for Colin.
1,211 reviews27 followers
February 10, 2017
There's an odd phenomenon that happens with some books: there you are, quite happily reading your way through when all of a sudden you realise that you've had enough and just want to give up. That's what happened with Augustus Carp, 'the funniest unknown book in the world' according to the quote on the front cover. First published anonymously in 1924, It is a funny book in a very English way. Augustus and his father are appalling creations: self-righteous, priggish to a monstrous degree and criminally manipulative, while all the time espousing a holier-than-though evangelical Protestantism, and the book absolutely skewers them. But by just over half way through the joke was seeming a little thinly spread, and the very small print and yellowed paper in my old Penguin edition were making it a bit of a chore.
Profile Image for Andrew.
852 reviews35 followers
October 18, 2015
Wonderfully dead-pan humour utilised to asset-strip the bloated pomposity that is Augustus Carp, Esq. down to his nether integuments! What is revealed is a man of small parts but great pretensions, & the reader is privy to even his daily ablutions as if they were sacred rituals of a demi-god! This comic novel pins the 'really good man' like a monstrous moth to a board, an exhibit on a museum wall...a evolutionary cul-de-sac...written-up, as if in the annals of an entymologist's compendium of bizarre insects that once flourished over London's social dung-heaps! But how can we be so sure that modern Augustus Carps don't still circle our high-minded north-eastern suburbs like plagues of locusts?! Read and be warned: here be cockroaches!
Profile Image for Dan.
4 reviews
May 10, 2007
An utterly brilliant satire originally released anonymously to give it a not-so-subtle hint of irony. The novel details the coming-of-age of the pitifully pretentious twerp that is Augustus Carp Esq., the singular offspring of an equally contemptible member of the lower English aristocracy. I highly recommend owning a copy, but free text is available for you internet gluttons at http://www.ibiblio.org/eldritch/carp/
Profile Image for Susie.
320 reviews5 followers
November 13, 2012
Times have changed, but I still know people like this. I enjoyed this book because it was funny, quick to read in spite of the many unfamiliar words, and because I really love a pompous narrator. It just cracks me up. Augustus Carp, Esq. is the worst type of human being - a holier than thou, socially inept prig. That he learns nothing from his misfortunes is brilliant, and the ending preserves my worst fears of the cycle continuing!
Profile Image for Brian Koser.
449 reviews15 followers
December 23, 2021
Top 6 literary characters I want to slap:

6. Henry Waugh (The Universal Baseball Association, Inc., J. Henry Waugh, Prop.)
5. Bellwether (Dimension of Miracles)
4. Mr. Collins (Pride and Prejudice)
3. Wade Watts (Ready Player One)
2. Augustus Carp, Sr.
1. Augustus Carp, Jr.
176 reviews1 follower
June 13, 2009
This is a weird little absolutely hilarious book. Totally recommend!
Profile Image for Phil Gilbert.
43 reviews17 followers
September 13, 2022
I would imagine this may have influenced 'A Confederacy of Dunces', and is similar in the pomposity of the main character. An enjoyable read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews

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