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418 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 2021
"August doesn’t believe in most things, but it’s hard to argue that Jane wasn’t put on the Q to fuck up her whole life."
"It’s probably going to break my heart, and it’s still worth it."
"but none of those girls were you."
"She read about San Francisco, about the movements happening there, about Asian lesbians riding on the backs of cable cars just to show the city they existed"
"two different generations of messy, loud, brave and scared and brave again people stomping their feet and waving hands with bitten nails, all the things they share and all the things they don’t. the things she has that people like Jane smashed windows and spat blood for."
"you’re the first thing I’ve believed in since—since I don’t even remember, okay, you’re—you’re movies and destiny and every stupid, impossible thing, and it’s not because of the fucking train, it’s because of you."
The quotes above were taken from an ARC and are subject to change upon publication.
Buddy read with Maëlys! ❤
I'm a bisexual nonwhite New Yorker with roots in Flatbush, so if you're not interested in hearing the take of someone who is extremely familiar with the landscape and train line Casey McQuiston appropriated for use in this book, then skip this review. This is going to be a niche review for a niche audience: people who take the Q train, the real Q train, the actual physical space that barely gets a decent physical description once in this entire book but that supposedly was this big source of inspiration to Casey McQuiston. Also this review is for people who have actual emotions about Flatbush, a vibrant and complex community that similarly never really gets described properly, but that, like the Q train, just sort of gets pulled into this book to form a few scattered sentences of "colorful" backdrop for a twee white out-of-towner fantasy. I don't expect anyone who doesn't fit into these groups to care about the points raised in this review and if you don't want your vibe harshed because you think this book is sweet and harmless and delightful, go with god and know that I support your desire to check out -- we all need to check out sometimes. But this review is not for you. This review is for crotchety New Yorkers who can only tolerate a certain level of "I just love the subways and I see the magic in them the way natives cannot" nonsense.
The first time August met Jane, she fell in love with her for a few minutes, and then stepped off the train. That’s the way it happens on the subway—you lock eyes with someone, you imagine a life from one stop to the next, and you go back to your day as if the person you loved in between doesn’t exist anywhere but on that train. As if they never could be anywhere else.
There aren’t perfect moments in life, not really, not when shit has gotten as weird as it can get and you’re broke in a mean city and the things that hurt feel so big. But there’s the wind flying and the weight of months and a girl hanging out an emergency exit, train roaring all around, tunnel lights flashing, and it feels perfect. It feels insane and impossible and perfect. Jane reels her in by the side of her neck, right there between the subway cars, and kisses her like it’s the end of the world.
‘Jane is spun sugar. A switchblade girl with a cotton-candy heart.’
‘she can’t believe Jane had the nerve, the audacity, to become the one thing August can’t resist: a mystery.’
‘For queer communities past, present, and future’
“And there I was, punk, Asian, dyke. Everywhere I went, someone loved me. But everywhere I went, someone hated me.”
‘But what I’ve figured out is, I’m never as alone as I think I am.’
“I swear to God, if a ghost kills me, I’ll haunt the shower. You guys will never have hot water again.”
“Two different generations of messy, loud, brave and scared and brave again people stomping their feet and waving hands with bitten nails, all the things they share and all the things they don’t. the things she has that people like Jane smashed windows and spat blood for.”