The Oldie

Duncan Campbell (p22) was the Guardian’s crime correspondent and LA correspondent. He has worked for City Limits, Time Out and LBC. His books include If It Bleeds and The Underworld. Simon Jenkins (p20) was Chairman of the National Trust and editor o

Firefighters called to shopping trolley fire Ledbury Reporter MP to be at conference Border Telegraph Woman, 20, cautioned for slapping man’s rear Daily Telegraph £15 for published contributions The December issue is on sale on 17th November 2021. If

I might have been a child star, had it not been for Hayley Mills. Back in 1959, when I was 11, I had hopes for a career in the movies. I had the looks (so my mother thought), I had the talent (so my mother believed) and I had a film agent – a man nam

It’s ten years since Christopher Hitchens died of cancer, in December 2011, aged only 62. The anniversary reminded me of the year I spent with him and his younger brother, Peter, 60 years ago. In 1961, aged 21, I was working as an assistant prep-scho

Even in so blessed an era of sexual- preference enlightenment, coming out to a parent isn’t easy. One might imagine it were otherwise. One may, in one’s smugly hetero way, assume that any ‘stigma’ perished too long ago to make such a confession one i

We think of Leslie Caron as a film star, a remarkable front-line survivor from the Hollywood era. But primarily, she is a dancer. Rightly elected the Oldie of the Year, at the age of 90 she is spry, full of life and remarkably sympathetic. In her mem

TRIGGER WARNING! PLEASE DON’T READ THE FOLLOWING IF OF A SENSITIVE DISPOSITION… Pegging is an extreme sexual practice whereby, um, the woman takes the role of the man by attaching an appendage and, as Oldie contributor Sir Les Patterson might put it,

The English cathedral is one religious institution in rude good health. Parish churches die by the week. Congregations shrink. The young are vanishing. But, lockdowns apart, most cathedrals are booming. Their worshippers have increased by a third ove

When the cannabis-smuggler Howard Marks died in 2016, aged 70, the obituaries were affectionate. He was portrayed as someone akin to a national treasure. He had already been the subject of a popular film, Mr Nice (2010), starring Rhys Ifans, based on

Sometimes an anniversary is marked by accident. The furore about Nick Robinson’s lordly instruction to the PM – ‘Stop talking!’ – raised a certain nostalgia for subtler days. Even then, Brian Redhead could have a fierce mongoose bite when roused to a

Any devotee of Talking Pictures TV soon learns the golden rule of post-war British cinema: there had to be an appearance from Sam Kydd. He debuted in the 1946 Ealing drama The Captive Heart and appeared in around 290 pictures, more than any other Bri

Every year, a 65-foot tree is erected in Trafalgar Square, and the people of London know that Christmas has begun. At the base of the tree stands a plaque, bearing these words: ‘This tree is given by the city of Oslo as a token of Norwegian gratitude

What with the energy crisis and the COP26 Climate Change event, I expect we’re all facing an austere winter. But I do feel I’ve had good training for this – at my convent boarding school in 1950s Dublin. The rules then were exceptionally green. Heati

Low productivity continues to act as a drag anchor on the British economy. And low productivity has bedevilled my own careers in art, writing and, more recently, broadcasting. My most conspicuous productivity shortcomings have been in my role as a sm

I can’t claim that the joy was unbridled in school staff rooms at the news that Gavin Williamson had finally been given the push as Education Secretary. I am endlessly surprised at the lack of political interest expressed by my colleagues. I myself w

Russia’s October Revolution is celebrated in November. 25th November 2012 was the first day since 1960 on which no murder or manslaughter occurred in New York City. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town was first sung in November 1934. By Christmas, it had s

Mary the Mother of God is perhaps the only Marian title that does not cause bitter controversy among Christians of various denominations. It is sad that she should have become such a divisive figure, but there is some comfort to be had in that the im

The London Philharmonic Orchestra celebrated the life of Mary Christie, widow of Sir George Christie. The couple lived at Glyndebourne and ran the opera house. Elizabeth Findon led the sopranos for the Glyndebourne Chorus, Susan Bickley the mezzo-sop

SIR: The fifth person (marked anonymous) in the photograph accompanying the piece about Chips Channon in September’s Oldie is in fact my mother, Patricia Morrison-Bell. As a child, I would listen unnoticed to many hushed conversations about Chips, an

The current petrol crisis reminded me of my time as a teenage petrol-pump attendant. I was fortunate as a 15-year-old schoolboy in 1968 to secure such a coveted part-time job at my local Shell garage. The rate of pay (four shillings an hour) was twic

Allen Lane £35 In a brief introduction, Andrew Roberts lists those against whom this superb royal biography is pitched. They range from the 18th-century radical Thomas Paine to Lin-Manuel Miranda, the writer of the hit musical Hamilton, via a host of

Viking £20 The young H G Wells established his career as a novelist with his extraordinary scientific romance The Time Machine. The book, first published in 1895, was conceived when he was a student. The sales were sensational: this unknown young wri

Little, Brown £20 Throughout his twenties and well into his thirties, David Sedaris was an embarrassment to his family. He was always on the move, dropping in and out of college and flirting with hard drugs, as he drifted from one odd job to the next

Viking £20 Julian Lawndsley, notionally the protagonist of John le Carré’s last novel, arrives in a Suffolk seaside town to put aside his past in the City and start a highbrow bookshop. He is befriended, half against his will, by Edward, a charming P

Although Rupert Murdoch was 90 last March, he did not publicly celebrate his birthday until September. Some 200 friends and acquaintances from the media, business and politics were invited to a bash at the media mogul’s Georgian pile near Henley, whe

There was an old man on a Bycicle,Whose nose was adorned with an Icicle;But they said – ‘If you stop,It will certainly drop,& abolish both you & your Bycicle.’ When a researcher came across this lost verse by Edward Lear the other day, she ‘laughed o

For hundreds of years, when Britons remembered 5th November, they usually meant at least two significant dates. The first was 5th November 1605, the day we still mark with bonfires and fireworks when we’re allowed to (you can have too much liberty, y

Bond is back – and he’s in a three- button suit! In the opening set piece – a car chase through the ancient streets of Matera – Daniel Craig wears a beige cotton jacket with that old-fashioned, stylish number of buttons. It’s a signal that this is ub

I can’t watch the COVID press briefings any more, particularly with the possible threat of a new lockdown. The scientists are fine – they use precise facts, quote peer-reviewed data and answer the questions succinctly. They even use sensible metaphor

‘Podcasts now get more review space than programmes – but not more customers,’ said Gillian Reynolds in her eulogy at the memorial for John Tydeman, the radio-drama chief who discovered Orton, Stoppard and Sue Townsend. She’s right: it’s a youth/age

BRITTEN’S GERMAN MUSE The Scherchens were remarkable. First, there was Hermann, the selftaught son of a Berlin innkeeper who would become one of the century’s most influential and radically minded conductors. Then there was his longsuffering second w

The star of this year’s crop of autumn books is Claudia Roden’s Med. Simple title, relaxed recipes and gorgeous illustrations - many of them taken in the author’s own north-London kitchen - deliver a practical cookbook that’s as beautiful as it’s use

A few years ago, in Saigon, I was introduced to a clear soup called pho which contained, in addition to strips of beef, rice noodles, bean sprouts and spices, a number of fresh green herbs. I was able to identify mint, Thai basil and morning glory, b

Maureen Lipman recently compared the horror of the arrivals hall of Heathrow’s Terminal 5 to Bruegel’s Gateway to Babel. Yet at 8am, en route to Greece for the recent Oldie trip, the departures lounge seemed full of hope and expectation. Not a lost s

I have been to many wine-tastings over the years, but none has been quite as memorable as my trip to Château Marsyas, in the Beqaa Valley, an hour and a bit’s drive south-east of Beirut. My guide, Rania, drove us there in a bright red, open-top sport

Rowing is a weird sport. It involves some highly intelligent people – the great Dame Katherine Grainger has about five PhDs – putting themselves every day through a relentless programme of drudgery. Hours sitting there, repeating the same thing time

We are what we eat, or so we’re told. But cars, being less adaptable, are not what they drink. Since the summer, most will have to drink something designated E10 (if there’s any left at the pumps, that is). Will it affect them? Very likely not - but

Hutber’s law states that ‘Improvement means deterioration’. In the 1970s, journalist Patrick Hutber noticed that if an organisation tells you that it is ‘improving’ its service, it usually means that the service will worsen, or become more expensive,

In 1980, civil servant Hayden Phillips (now Sir Hayden) was holed up in an emergency office in the Royal School of Needlework. He was alongside the officer commanding the SAS and the Assistant Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, desperately tryi

Is there something you really miss? When I’m in India, I really don’t miss Britain and when I’m in Britain, I really don’t miss India. What’s your favourite destination? India is endlessly amazing. My books have covered the whole of Asia but it’s Ind

Let’s face it. It is easy to cheat at bridge. And, unfortunately, several players, whether on their own (a quick peek), or (worse) collusively as a partnership, have, over the years, succumbed to the temptation. Enter whistleblower Boye Brogeland fro

IN COMPETITION No 272, you were invited to write a poem called The Umbrella. The subject brought out such weird imaginings in many competitors that ordinary death seemed mundane. Katie Mallett warned against ‘Hemlocks, brollies to close down / All hu

Q On the subject of kissing, I have a revulsion of kissing on the mouth. I am in my sixties, a widower, and have formed an affectionate relationship with a widow, with serious prospects of marriage. The problem is she is all for kissing and cuddling

Afghans know a thing or two about the cold, which is why I brought my father, a keen gardener, a traditional Mujahideen waistcoat home from my travels there. He wore it non-stop. The authentic article is currently tricky to get hold of but Sirplus do

For those, young or old, who enjoy getting their teeth into life’s Big Questions, Youniverse: A Short Guide to Modern Science by Elsie Burch Donald (Duckworth, £9.99) is full of fascinating titbits of scientific knowledge, from atoms to genetics and

You’d better watch out, You’d better not cry, You’d better not pout, I’m telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town. Even those who can endure Michael Bublé murdering a beloved Christmas song appreciate that there’s no need to take it seriously.

I am a firm supporter of the not-for-profit Dignity in Dying, which fights to give terminally ill people the choice to die on their own terms, a right supported by the overwhelming majority of the public and no doubt many readers of this magazine. I

I’ve been to three Scottish islands this year and recommend them all for crisp Hogmanay breaks. First, Mull, second largest of the Inner Hebrides. I travelled round on double-decker public buses, which are well-ventilated, seldom busy and offer splen

A century ago, Brooklands, just outside Weybridge, Surrey, was the Ascot of motor-racing. The world’s first purpose-built motor-racing circuit opened in 1907. Nowadays, Brooklands – which closed as a race track to convert to an aircraft factory durin

Sweeten the merry yuletide with an aromatic honey-tasting box from London bee-keepers Bermondsey Street Bees. Founder Dale Gibson keeps beehives on his roof and is a strong advocate of bee-keeping as a way of ensuring there are enough pollinators. Th

Partridges, the London food shop, opened in 1972 with the purpose of offering ‘good things for the larder’. As we approach our golden anniversary, we celebrate our customers, some of whom are very famous indeed. Dirk Bogarde developed a great rapport

Oh, how I have missed this, I thought, as I gazed across a vineyard planted with Chardonnay, Pinot Noir and Pinot Meunier. It was bathed in a warm evening glow, I had a glass of fizz in one hand, some fine charcuterie in the other, and all was right

Calmette, the controversial editor of Le Figaro. The choice of music, from a pièce de clavecin by Couperin to Liszt’s transcription of the Liebestod from Wagner’s Tristan, provides a remarkable insight in the mind of this most fastidious, yet at the

frozenthemusical.co.uk If you really want to get into the Frozen mood, go ice-skating at London’s Natural History Museum. This is the last Christmas you’ll be able to, because there’s a plan to transform the space into a permanent wildlife garden. Fa

Phil Spector (Philles £2.99 amazon.co.uk) still touch the parts that others can’t reach, no matter how many years have gone by. When we’re giving the gift of music, we are not simply seeking to please the recipient. We’re often trying to say somethin

1 Which female newsreader and TV presenter was the first winner of Strictly Come Dancing, back in 2004? 2 Marlboro cigarettes get their name from Great Marlborough Street in London’s West End (the road on which Liberty’s can be found) because that’s