Smitten Twice: The Story of an Enduring Love Affair

Smitten Twice

The Story of an Enduring Love Affair

Michael Fazio

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© 2024 Michael Fazio. All rights reserved.

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Published by AuthorHouse 11/15/2024

ISBN: 979-8-8230-3092-2 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-8230-3091-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024915439

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CONTENTS

Dedication

Preface

Chapter 1 The Dark Days

Chapter 2 We, Children Growing Up. Homes In Turmoil

Chapter 3 Michael, a Teen

Chapter 4 In Need of Direction

Chapter 5 I Am Somebody

Chapter 6 Adventures with Indians

Chapter 7 Someone In Love

Chapter 8 Decisions of Consequence

Chapter 9 A Family Begins

Chapter 10 Rinky-dink

Chapter 11 Loving St. James & the Mormiles

Chapter 12 Time to Move On

Chapter 13 Let’s Go

Chapter 14 On the Road Again

Chapter 15 It’s Relative

Chapter 16 Yes, They Are ours

Chapter 17 They Also Lived with Us

Chapter 18 Party Time

Chapter 19 More Than One Community

Chapter 20 Uh Uh, a Rough Patch!

DEDICATION

Our story Is dedicated to the most important women in my life, Maria, Jennie Rebecca, Leslie Michelle, and Rebecca Isabel. All my love to John, Rick and Bill.

PREFACE

The idea for this project was hatched in conversation with Lin and Dick Halluska. The four of us shared many enjoyable dining evenings together at each other’s home. The conversation was about, as The Little Prince says, matters of consequence. At least we thought it was so. For sure Dick introduced the subject of writing for our children and grandchildren. That was a thought that would not have occurred to me. Years ago, when he mentioned the idea, I certainly concurred. It became a thought that got tucked away for someday.

Many times Maria, when she wanted to express the happiness of her life, would say when I am gone tell them I had a good time. It has given me much solace to know she felt that way. There was never a moment when I thought that her love for me wavered.

Here I’ll quote Frank Sinatra from the song My Way, regrets I have a few, but then again too few to mention …. I have been too blessed in my life to consider regrets. It has been an absolute thrill to be given the opportunity to report Our Story in this manner. That thrilling word came to mind many times as I had this chance to reflect on our many joyous and wonderful memories. What she gave me is positively priceless.

From a young age, if I could say that I had one goal in life, without hesitation, I knew I wanted to have a loving, successful marriage with the woman I would love always. That is the God’s honest truth! I have not thought about having that goal for a long time. Back then, as I grew up, I recognize that there were two factors that lead to having that goal. Negatively, it was the marriage of my parents and brother Pete’s and Uncle Frankie’s. Positively, it was the marriage of my godparents, Uncle Sal, mom’s brother and Aunt Lil. I had the opportunity to spend many two-week vacations at their home, which was in what we called the country, Long Island, NY. Their expressions of affection for each other were ever present and such a joy to observe. They, two of the kindest people one could know, spread that sense of affection to all they encountered, not to just themselves. Incidentally, not to be a name dropper, one of their many grandchildren is Ralph Macchio. The love that my aunt & uncle exhibited, I have seen, has spread to not only Ralph and his family but to all their descendants. I loved that family so much that I am compelled to mention the names of at least my 1st cousins. I grew up with Ralph’s parents, Rosalie and Ralph. Rosalie’s older brother is Domenick, the only one of 26 to carry our grandfather’s name forward, Domenick DeSantis. Their older sister was Lucille, R.I.P., named after our grandmother, Lucia Servidio.

That very early goal was met!

CHAPTER 1

The Dark Days

My dearly beloved soulmate, Maria, left our world in the early hours of the morning of August 27, 2023. Joy, her health aide, although helping Maria for more than two months in the p.m., was to be there for the first morning shift. Together, we found her at about 9:05 to be unresponsive and on her tummy, which was not so unusual. Turning her body over, with it not feeling so warm and looking pale, we understood immediately that she was gone. At 4 a.m. I had escorted her to the toilet. I escorted her back to bed, she climbed in on her own, we said goodnight once again, and both fell asleep.

The look on her face, which is now etched in by memory, when I turned her over was so incredibly relaxed. So much more at peace than I had seen in years. It was evident that she passed peaceably in her sleep. Next 911 was called. In less than ten minutes, Dave, a Nissequogue Police Department officer who was also a Suffolk County detective, arrived. He stayed with me till 1:15 p.m., an act for which I will always be grateful. With his indispensable help, we were able to get an official death certificate from the primary doctor’s office so that we could have the funeral director remove her to St. James Funeral Home.

For the first couple of weeks following her death, my reaction was both shock and relief. Shock because it was not expected at all. That was because there were so many efforts under way to make her life as comfortable as possible. The relief was the knowledge that she would no longer suffer; the relief was hers. She was relieved, and I was as well, truthfully.

Her journey to get there was a long and difficult one that we both traveled. Maria was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 2009. She fought it valiantly, being the woman of action that she was her whole life. From the day of her diagnosis, she knew she was in a battle for her life. Throwing in the towel was never a thought. She was not a quitter. Hell no! Her courage and determination guided her on this new path or—better—detour.

There are not many of us who would have taken up the challenge of learning all she did about fighting PD. Not only what she could do for herself but what could be done nationally and internationally. Always the battler, she never shied away from a challenge. She always forged forward. Never once did she ever complain or feel sorry for herself. Never did she ask, Why me? I know now she was always cognizant of protecting me. It is what we have done for so long, for each other. She well knew where she was headed, having seen Granddad Terrana suffer PD till death. She led us both into super activity. We attended seminars in Manhattan. We learned about the variety of pharmaceutical treatments. We became active with the PD Unity Walk, a joint program of all PD fundraisers. For ten years we worked to raise funds. Prior to the pandemic, we got to the point of raising $10,000–12,000 a year. We attended the walk each year in Central Park on the third Saturday in April. We attended these events accompanied by thirty to forty relatives and friends. We all celebrated behind the bandstand after the walk under the famous Wisteria Pergola.

By 2014 the uncontrollable motions, referred to as dyskinesia, caused by excessive levels of carbo-levo-dopa, the go-to PD medication, became unbearable, exhausting her. Her weight went from 150 pounds in 2010 to 135 pounds in 2014. Her neurologist at the time, Dr. Fazzini, of New York University, recommended deep brain stimulation (DBS). Maria was primed and ready for that next step. Her studies brought her here. It was not a difficult decision to proceed. At that last visit with Dr. Fazzini, he joked, There will be no charge for the weight loss.

We proceeded with the DBS surgery at NYU Langone. She first had to pass a psych test, which she did easily. For example, try having someone read a news article to you and being asked to recall as many facts as you can an hour later.

Surgery required two separate procedures, one outpatient the other inpatient. DBS gave her some additional years of near normality. However, PD is inexorable. DBS aided immensely her ability to walk, to have a normal stride. That was the only symptom impacted.

As the years passed—2015, ’16, ’17, ’18, and ’19—her balance became increasingly worse. Her falls multiplied. They would always be backward onto her butt. It was a minor miracle that there was never a serious injury resulting from these falls, likely because of her short stature and the absence osteoporosis.

Also, during this time, she began suffering rapid declines in BP, which led to passing out while standing. The worst fall up to this point was in 2017 when at 2 a.m. she took herself to the toilet. She collapsed on the way back, falling forward onto the glass shower enclosure. She fractured her collarbone.

During the winters of 2016 through 2020, we were able to spend two weeks on Sanibel Island with Tom and Dorothy Twomey. We loved being there; we loved the calmness of the island. In March 2020 we returned on the seventh. On March 10 the pandemic shut down the country. We were fortunate to return home without a hassle.

The pandemic was now full-blown and scary. We became even more isolated, like most everyone else. The years 2020–2022 disappeared. There were no events to form memories of. The one event we really wanted to attend was our grandson John’s graduation from high school in ’20.

On Monday, June 14, 2021, Maria had a tooth extracted. She was recovering and icing while watching TV in her wheelchair. At some point she rolled herself into the kitchen. From there she went to the steps to go upstairs. Only problem, she took herself out of the wheelchair, which I later found in the kitchen. She fell, apparently while trying to get herself onto the chairlift. Her fall awakened me as I dozed on the couch. It was obvious she was injured. Nissequogue Fire Department took her to Stony Brook Hospital. She had fractured that left collarbone once again. This time the emergency room doctor recommended a rehab facility for her. To my everlasting regret, I abided by his recommendation. A big mistake! She spent three weeks there. The Smithtown Center just was not equipped to deal with an advanced Parkinson’s patient. Her care was little or none. Because of the pandemic, I never did get to see her room. Visitation was forty-five minutes per day. Reservations were required at least one week in advance. She never recovered from that stay. I think she was afraid of my putting her in a facility permanently. But my promise to her that would never happen was a solemn one that would be kept at all costs.

By this time, she had become a 100 percent fall risk. She was going to fall whether she used her walker or not. Maria was in the habit of leaving her walker behind. That was a manifestation of the fight in her. The neurologist thought it was dementia setting in.

She returned home from rehab on July 21. Fortunately for us, Sidonie Orelus, became available. She had been the aide for Mr. and Mrs. McGarrigal, Suzy’s in-laws. Mr. McGarrigal had just passed away the week before. Their misfortune was a bit of luck for us. Sid was an