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    Misplaced
    Misplaced
    Misplaced
    Ebook186 pages58 minutes

    Misplaced

    By Colin P. Buckley

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    About this ebook

    If you were captivated by the Netflix documentary The Program: Cons, Cults, and Kidnapping, then Misplaced by Colin Buckley is a must-read.
    In his poetic memoir Colin Buckley recounts his tumultuous journey from birth, marked by loss and traumatic changes that lead to the tyranny of an abusive father and the manipulation of the Academy at Ivy Ridge and Eagle Point Christian Academy. Determined to reclaim his identity amidst the suffocating grip of coercion, Colin bravely challenges the forces that seek to mold him into someone he is not.
    Despite enduring emotional and physical torment, Colin refuses to succumb to silence. With unwavering resolve, he defiantly asserts his autonomy, striving for reunification with his birth family while resisting the oppressive influence of his adopted father, Ivy Ridge, and Eagle Point Christian Academy. His story is a testament to the indomitable spirit that refuses to be extinguished, even in the darkest of circumstances.
    Through Colin's narrative, "Misplaced" sheds light on the insidious nature of abuse and the importance of a parent prioritizing the well-being of children over the false promises of manipulative organizations.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWrite My Wrongs
    Release dateAug 5, 2024
    ISBN9781956932584
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    Book preview

    Misplaced - Colin P. Buckley

    Author’s Note

    My name is Colin Buckley, born Colin Patrick Brown. This story details my process through adoption, painful losses, and the effects of childhood trauma and abuse.

    During my journey, I underwent many trials and tribulations, from my birth to becoming a victim of cult-like behavior modification programs and fighting for the freedom to form my own identity. My adoption story is not everyone’s, but it is a cautionary tale, and it explains how genetics can play a bigger role than one might think. It warns parents with troubled teens to think twice, before sending your child away with the promise of a cure.

    Part 1

    My mother had been gone for four days now.

    My grandparents were worried sick and

    had the police out looking for her.

    She needed more clothes,

    which meant she needed to go

    back home to get them.

    She walked through the door to find

    only my grandmother home.

    My grandfather was out searching for her.

    Prior to my mother’s return,

    a family friend put a bug in

    my grandmother’s ear,

    telling her my mother probably wasn’t

    coming home

    because she was pregnant.

    You’re not going anywhere!

    Yaya said,

    stopping her rebellious

    daughter from leaving again.

    Are you pregnant?

    I don’t know! my mother answered,

    sounding annoyed.

    She thought she was grown

    and knew it all.

    How dare my grandmother

    ask her such a question.

    The next day, Yaya took my

    13-year-old mother to

    the hospital to have a

    pregnancy test done, and

    it was positive.

    She was four months along already,

    and having a boy.

    That night, the family stood in the kitchen

    to break the news to Grandfather

    when he arrived home from work.

    Make her have an abortion,

    Grandfather ordered.

    But Mother was too far along for that

    to have been an option.

    Grandfather was very much a manly man

    in the 80s.

    When it came to girl problems,

    Yaya was the one who took care of it.

    Mother’s heart sank when she heard

    his words.

    She wanted her baby and

    she knew if her father wanted this,

    she wasn’t going to be able to keep it.

    She felt helpless.

    This life was growing in her body and

    she was not being given a say.

    During a doctor’s visit,

    my mother’s nurse noticed the situation

    and decided to bring in a binder of 

    couples looking to adopt.

    The first couple to catch my mother’s attention

    lived on an eighty acre ranch and

    were well off.

    The second potential adoptees she found

    were a couple who owned a pizzeria:

    He couldn’t have kids and she could.

    Over the course of a week,

    Mother had an interview

    with the two couples.

    She really liked the couple who owned the pizzeria.

    They were kind. But

    she really liked the wealthy couple who

    lived on the ranch as well.

    After a few more weeks,

    Mother made her decision.

    She decided she wanted everything.

    Her baby could have the world with the

    wealthy couple.

    They had acreage, animals,

    vehicles, and plenty to do.

    Her baby would learn how to work

    the farm, play in the mud,

    and be able to go to college in the future.

    They were perfect.

    Until it came time to sign the papers.

    When it came time for Mother to sign,

    my new mom, Carole,

    her real age was on the paper.

    2/22/1937

    She was 51 years old already.

    They had lied.

    Nope!

    my mother said,

    and refused to sign the paperwork.

    Three weeks went by, filled with my

    grandparent’s attempts at getting

    my mother to sign to no avail.

    One day,

    Grandfather approached my mother,

    slid the papers to her,

    and said,

    "You’re not taking this baby

    away from those people,"

    forcing her to sign.

    Over the next couple of months,

    Carole visited my mother periodically.

    They went shopping together and

    she bought her maternity clothes

    once my mother began to show.

    She grew to like Carole;

    she thought she was a beautiful person.

    Carole made up for the age discrepancy

    with the woman she was.

    ***

    Mother arrived at the hospital and was

    assigned a room immediately.

    The nurses attempted to

    hook her up to IV’s and give her medicine,

    but she refused.

    If I die during this birth,

    at least I won’t feel this pain anymore.

    The now fourteen-year-old

    thought to herself.

    "If you’re going natural,

    You’re going to need to sit up,"

    one of the nurses ordered while she sat

    my mother up in a squatting position.

    After four hours of labor,

    and forty-five minutes of pushing,

    her baby was here.

    Every time she held her newborn,

    she didn’t want to let him go.

    This wasn’t fair.

    He was beautiful, perfect, and

    he was supposed to be hers.

    Every time she wasn’t holding him,

    she longed to have him in her arms.

    The time finally came,

    much too quickly, and

    after two days,

    mother and baby were released.

    As she walked away from the hospital,

    Auntie and Yaya each held an arm.

    Mother turned around and

    saw my father holding her newborn.

    My strawberry blond hair was

    glowing in the hospital lights.

    She became overwhelmed with the

    feelings of loss and emptiness.

    It seemed like the hollowness was

    swallowing her from the inside out,

    causing tears to well in her eyes,

    and she began to mourn.

    3-15-89

    Dear Brandy,

    Just a note to see how you are doing and to reassure you that you are welcome to see Colin at any time in the future. The same for all of your family.

    I know you are going through a rough time right now (remember I said it would get harder—not better). I wish you would consider counseling. We will be happy to pay for it. I feel it will help you a lot right now—please let us know if we can help you in that area.

    Colin is doing great—at least 15 lbs. I just bought him some daily clothes size 6 months. He was outgrowing everything!

    Our love to you and your family,

    Carole Buckley

    A person and child sitting in a chair Description automatically generated

    Part 2

    Mother and I during a visit.

    Over the next couple of years,

    Mother attempted to visit me when she could,

    but Father was never too inviting.

    While Mother would visit,

    he always seemed antsy,

    like the visit wasn’t important or

    like he was late to be somewhere.

    One time, he even complained

    to Grandfather about needing to get back

    to work while Mother was

    trying to spend time and

    play with me.

    Needless to say,

    the visits from mother were few

    because of the circumstances.

    ––––––––

    ***

    Daddy, can you push me?

    I

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