Murder 101

CHAPTER ONE

Your ass looks great in that dress.

Max is my best friend and that’s her idea of a compliment. When she showed up at my office precisely at six, I was bent over the lowest drawer of my filing cabinet putting some exam booklets away. We air kissed because, as usual, she had three layers of Russian Red lipstick painted on, and I didn’t have turpentine handy to remove her lip prints from my cheek. Are you wearing a girdle? She threw her briefcase onto one of my guest chairs and draped herself across the other one, throwing one leg over the arm of the chair. Max was in a gorgeous black dress and black shoes with red soles. She noticed me looking at them. Christian Louboutin, she said. As if I knew what that meant.

I stood up and slammed my file cabinet shut and turned to face her. I wasn’t sure if I should be flattered or insulted. I’m not wearing a girdle. I paused a moment, not capable of lying. Just control-top panty hose. I sat down behind my desk to tidy up before we headed off to the annual fund-raiser kickoff for the college where I teach and from which Max and I graduated. There was also to be a ceremony honoring Max—a rich alumna and proud donor of a technology classroom. Our school has an unwritten motto: Keep your alumnae close and your rich alumnae closer.

I got a look at myself in the reflection of the windows next to my desk. I had worn my good dress—a sleeveless black sheath on which I had spent too much money five years earlier and felt compelled to wear everywhere in order just to get my money’s worth—it’s like the fashion version of amortization. I also had on nice black pumps, but I still didn’t look like Max. I looked pretty good, for me. She’s petite with long legs and a great body that has never been introduced to a piece of exercise equipment. She is a faithful practitioner of yoga, but I’m not exactly sure she practices it for the health benefits. She talks an awful lot about her yogi Brandon.

Max handed me a lipstick. Just put a little bit on so you don’t look quite so cadaverous. I gave her a look. What? she asked, indignant; comparing me to a cadaver, in her world, signaled concern. These classrooms are leeching the life out of you.

She walked over to the tall windows at the end of my office. There is a small patch of grass behind the building, as well as a long flight of stairs that goes past the auditorium and into the building where I have my office and teach all of my classes, one of the three classroom buildings on campus. She perched on the bench that served as a covering for the radiator and crossed her legs. A group of students and a couple of professors, all male, were playing touch football on the little patch of grass behind the building.

Is your week going any better? she asked, referring to the fact that my car had been stolen and my divorce had become final all in the last five days. She tapped her foot to some unheard beat, admiring the bunch of twentysomethings and their bare chests.

Who’s the hunk in the striped shorts? she said, leaning in close to the window before I could answer.

I followed her gaze. Frank Johnson, head of the Business Department, I said, and sprayed on some perfume.

Single?

I looked at her. Gay. I thought the vertically striped linen shorts and the Choose Life! tank top were a dead giveaway.

She leaned her face against the cool glass. So? Your week?

I’m divorced, without a car, and walking to and from the train station. And everywhere I turn, I see my ex-husband with his newly bald head, goatee, and BMW. That pretty much sums up my week.

Do you want me to have him killed? she asked, losing interest in the pansexual football game and giving me her full attention. Seeing Ray, my ex, in a coffin surrounded by flowers was a fantasy I’m sure she had enjoyed for many years.

Who are we having killed? a male voice asked from my doorway. I turned around and saw that the voice belonged to one of a duo of men—both large, wearing guns, and holding shiny gold badges.

At five-foot-ten, I’m not used to being one of the smallest people in the room; rather, I usually tower over the little nuns and not fully developed coeds I encounter every day. These two were well into the six-foot-three or -four range, and one of them looked like he hadn’t had a good day in weeks. Or a decent night’s sleep. The more pleasant-looking of the two was dressed in a brown tweed jacket, khaki pants, a white shirt, and a blue-and-gold-striped tie. He held out one hand to shake and the other to show a gold badge. Not sure what to do, I took both and was then in the uncomfortable position of holding both of his hands at the same time. I dropped the one that didn’t hold the badge.

Alison Bergeron? he asked, and stepped into my office. Designed to hold me, my stuff, and maybe one other person, it was getting tight.

I clutched the badge, not looking at it. Yes.

Detective Crawford, NYPD. This is Detective Wyatt. He held his hand out to retrieve his badge.

The cranky-looking one grunted some kind of greeting. He was wearing a blue suit, and, when he sat down, I could see that he had on a beautifully tailored shirt with French cuffs that had his initials embroidered on them. He had light brown skin and very short black hair. He looked to be in his early forties and seemed to be the senior of the two officers. He took eyeglasses out of his pocket and put them on as he turned in his chair and perused the books on my bookshelf.

Max seemed to be in a trance so I introduced her. This is my friend, Maxine Rayfield. We’re on our way to an alumnae dinner, I babbled. Max is being honored by the school.

We won’t take too much of your time. Can we sit down? Crawford asked. He looked pointedly at Max and then back at me.

I motioned to the empty chair across from my desk, which fronted the bookcase that Detective Wyatt was examining. Oh, she can stay. Max, sit down.

She continued to stare at Wyatt. He didn’t seem to register that there was anyone else in the room. She turned and looked at me, and mouthed, Married? But I ignored her.

After several moments of silence while he looked at the books, Wyatt asked, Joyce scholar?

I was surprised. Yes.

He shook his head. I never got him.

A lot of people say that. I did my dissertation on him. I immediately regretted sounding like Patty McSmartypants, but it was out there and couldn’t be taken back. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Max shoot me a look.

He raised his eyebrows in what was an attempt at conveying respect or disgust at my arrogance, I couldn’t tell which. I asked Detective Crawford if they had found my car.

I actually have a couple of questions about that, he said, pulling out a leather-covered notebook and a pen. He leaned forward in the chair. When was the car taken, as far as you can ascertain?

I already had this conversation with a couple of police officers from the Fiftieth Precinct, I said, trying to remain polite. According to my watch, Max and I had approximately seven minutes before we had to be at the cocktail reception before the dinner. The chair of my department, Sister Mary McLaughlin, was a stickler for punctuality, and I had lost some ground with her because of my divorce. I guess I now had loose woman written all over me. Yes, it’s the twenty-first century. Except when you work for a nun.

He smiled. I know. Detective Wyatt and I just pulled the case, and we thought we’d go over it again.

Max came to life. Do they always send detectives to look for stolen cars? With the flush in her cheeks extending all the way to her red-bottomed shoes, I wasn’t sure she was going to make it through the evening. I was also quite sure that if they did send detectives wearing big guns and no wedding rings to look for stolen cars, her new Jaguar would be missing by morning.

He shifted slightly. Well, not usually. He looked at Detective Wyatt, who took a British literature anthology off my shelf and began thumbing through it. So, when did you realize it was missing?

I left my office at five-thirty on Monday, and it was gone. I usually park it in the lot right at the top of those stairs, I said, pointing out my window. A group of students ran down the stairs, stopping briefly to look at the touch football game in the yard. I came back to my office and called the campus police who, I guess, called the real police.

Wyatt let out a laugh that sounded like a car backfiring. Crawford looked at him, and he recovered his stony composure, reading the table of contents of the anthology with an intensity it didn’t deserve.

What time was that?

What? I asked, not sure what event he was asking about.

When the police showed up?

Are you guys IAB? Max asked, getting more excited by the moment. As the head of programming for a cable station, she watches a lot of television. Since her station had started showing repeats of NYPD Blue, I guess she thought she had the cop lingo down.

Crawford looked at her. IAB?

Yeah, Internal Affairs.

No, he said, and looked down at his notebook.

It was by six, the latest. I pulled out my appointment book to see if I had written anything else down about whom I saw and when.

He jotted a note in his book and let out a little breath that was more of a time killer than an actual sigh. But, the look on his face told me that there was more to this than my car being gone. My stomach did a little flip.

And where were you between four o’clock and five-thirty on Monday?

I turned a couple of pages back in my planner and saw that that section was blank. I thought for a few moments. I was down at the river planning for a class. I had had a class to teach on the Hudson River poets. I thought the river would provide inspiration. It hadn’t. I reused a lecture I had given the year before that was a big dud and that had almost put me to sleep, never mind my students.

Were you with anyone? he asked as he wrote.

No, I said, thinking that that might not be a good thing for me.

Did anyone see you leave your office? Wyatt asked.

I thought again. I can’t remember.

Crawford smiled again. Try.

I felt a bead of sweat running down the indentation of my spine, even though my office was at a comfortable temperature. I’ll have to think about that. I can’t think right now.

Do you know a… He flipped through his notebook, looking for information.

Wyatt stepped in. Katherine Miceli.

Yes, I said, and felt the blood drain from my face.

How? Wyatt asked, as Detective Crawford continued flipping through his notebook.

She’s in my Shakespeare class.

Wyatt looked at me. When was the last time you saw her?

I knew my schedule by heart because it was pretty much the same every semester. I think it was Monday afternoon. The class meets on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Did you see her the rest of the week? Crawford asked.

I reached into my top drawer and took out my grade book. I saw that I had marked her absent for Wednesday and Friday. I was teaching five classes this semester, including the Shakespeare class that was way out of my league. I was having trouble keeping all of it straight. No, she was absent on Wednesday and today. My heart was pounding.

Wyatt looked perturbed. Weren’t you concerned when she didn’t show up for class?

This is college, Detective. We don’t get too concerned when students don’t show up for class. We just figure they’re cutting, I explained. She also owed me a paper on Wednesday that I know she was having trouble with. I figured she cut class to avoid handing it in.

I bet you never cut class, he said.

I ignored him and tried not to shift around in my seat to show my discomfort. What’s going on?

Wyatt continued looking at the anthology. Ms. Miceli is no longer with us.

Did she transfer? I asked. Crawford looked at me like I must be joking, but I was dead serious.

Wyatt looked up. Would we be here if she had transferred? He gave me an impatient look; I guess he had a point. She’s dead.

I took in a gulp of air. How did she die?

She was murdered, he said. He slammed the book shut and replaced it on the shelf. Crawford pulled at his tie; the good-cop/bad-cop routine was one with which he was obviously familiar, but did not enjoy.

I heard a little squeak emanate from Max as she slid off the radiator cover. You know what? she asked, as she picked up her briefcase. I think I’m going to wait outside. She slung her briefcase over her shoulder and shimmied through the three-inch space that existed between the detectives’ knees and my desk, her back to them. I saw Crawford look away discreetly and move his knees to the side, while Wyatt remained fixated on her shaking ass. She faced me as she moved by them and contorted her face to convey her horror to me.

I waited until she left the room and closed the door before asking, How? My heart did that thing where it beats a few hundred times and then skips a beat. I took a deep breath.

Don’t know, Wyatt said. Just found her. We’re waiting for the coroner’s report.

Who found her?

Wyatt was growing impatient with my questions. What difference does it make?

What does this have to do with my car?

Crawford, good cop—or at least, polite cop—reached into his pocket and took out a stack of photos. He held one up to my face. Is this your car? he asked.

I looked at the photo, and it was indeed my car. In the photo, it was dripping wet and covered in mud but, undeniably, my car. I nodded.

He put that photo on the bottom of the pile and held up another photo. I stood up behind my desk to get a better look. When I saw what I was looking at—the open trunk complete with bloodied body—a loud buzzing began in my ears.

I remember thinking about the soles of Max’s shoes as I hit the floor.

CHAPTER TWO

The Monday after Kathy’s murder became public and three days after I had been questioned by the police, I returned to school with a lump on my head and a raging headache. I had sustained a concussion from the fall in my office, and while I thought the weekend would give me an opportunity to rest and recuperate, my phone rang off the hook with calls from Max—who thought an hourly phone call to make sure I was conscious was necessary—a couple of newspaper reporters to whom I refused to talk, Max’s parents, and a few other concerned colleagues who had heard about my bad fortune. By the time Monday morning rolled around, I was almost relieved to go to work. I left the house around noon and got to school less than an hour later. I was commuting via Metro North; fortunately my home and school were on the same train line and I could walk to the train station from home in less than ten minutes. The walk to school from the train station was a bit longer; twenty if I wore sensible shoes, but thirty if, like today, I wasn’t using my head and wore heels.

I was not eager to return to my office. Not only had I fainted at the sight of Kathy Miceli crumpled up in my trunk, I also further demeaned myself by vomiting all over good cop’s shoes after I came to. Detective Crawford had insisted on taking me to the hospital, where he waited with me in the emergency room and filled me in on what had happened. My car had been found off the Saw Mill River Parkway, just before the Bronx ends and Westchester begins, off the road and halfway in a ditch, Katherine Miceli’s body in the trunk. She had died from a head wound—the coroner was still trying to decide how it had happened exactly, but her best guess was that she had fallen against something. My car was now evidence in a murder investigation and I would never see it again. When I started to black out again, he stopped his story and held my head as I vomited all over his shoes for a second time that day. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished.

My office still smelled slightly of vomit, but the only thing that got my attention when I entered was a note marked URGENT sitting on top of my desk. I picked up the lined piece of pink paper and studied it, my heart sinking when I saw that I had been called to the president’s office for a meeting. I had only been in the president’s office once—when I had been granted tenure—and was thankful that I had never been summoned back. There were about three layers of bureaucracy between me and Dr. Etheridge and that’s the way I liked it; I hated Mark Etheridge and his snotty attitude. The farther away I could stay from the cantankerous bastard, the better.

Maybe I wanted to remember St. Thomas as it used to be—small, private, and personal—but Mark’s style rubbed me the wrong way. And the fact that I was a good six inches taller than he was probably rubbed him and his Napoleon complex the wrong way.

I felt like I was walking the plank as I trudged up to the fifth floor and across the marbled hallways to the president’s office, located at the far end of the building from my office. I entered the darkly paneled office of the anteroom, where Mark’s secretary and my old friend, Fran Voight, sat.

Good morning, Fran, I said. She had been the president’s secretary since I had gone to school here and we knew each other well.

Fran didn’t respond, but looked at me over her bifocals and motioned with her head toward Etheridge’s office, her frosted helmet of hair not moving. The grim set of her mouth told me that this wasn’t going to be a pleasant meeting. The triple strand of long pearls on her chest made a clicking noise as she swung around in her chair and put her back to the door of Etheridge’s office. I heard her whisper good luck as I entered the office and closed the door behind me.

Etheridge was sitting behind his grand desk, Sister Mary in front of him. There was an empty chair for me. He stayed behind his desk and motioned to me to sit down. Good morning, Alison.

Dr. Etheridge, I said, smiling nervously. Good morning, Sister.

Sister Mary avoided my eyes, and mumbled good morning back.

Etheridge folded his hands in front of him and stared at me. So, this is a terrible situation, he started. Before the police get involved with you, I’m going to give you a chance to explain yourself. He took his round, rimless glasses off and put them back on after checking them for spots. "How did a dead body end up in the trunk of your car, Alison?" He seemed genuinely curious rather than suspicious.

I took a deep breath. First of all, the police are already involved with me, I said, my hands gripping the sides of the chair. I was questioned on Friday. I stared at him, and he stared back. And I’m not in jail, so I’m assuming that they’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t have anything to do with this. I gave him an idiotic half smile; perhaps if he thought I was a complete moron, he wouldn’t suspect me of anything more than having bad luck. And I have no idea how a dead body ended up in my trunk. I wanted to add, So now that we’ve cleared that up, can I go now? but I could see that this meeting was far from over.

He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

My car was stolen a week ago. I reported it to the campus police and the police from the Fiftieth Precinct who came to take the report. I explained all of this to the two detectives who came to my office. I crossed my legs and then uncrossed them.

He took his glasses off again and leaned back in his chair, folding his hands across his vested belly. This is a terrible situation. He looked at me, and I could see his face soften a bit. "I’ve spent the weekend dealing with this. And thinking about what to do—what’s best for the students’ protection, and how to keep the media away from them and you. And from here, he stressed, I think the best course of action would be to suspend you until this blows over."

I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach, but somehow, I managed to remain impassive.

He held a hand up to ward off any potential emotional outbursts, putting it down when he saw the look on my face. But Sister Mary has talked me out of it. He leaned forward again. So, teach your classes and grade your papers. Do not talk to the press, to your colleagues, or to anyone but the police about this. The phone on his desk buzzed and he picked it up. Yes? Tell him I need one minute. He hung the phone up. A Detective Crawford is here, and I need to see him. Are we clear?

I should have gotten up and left, but I opened my mouth to speak instead. Crystal. Sister Mary gave me a look and put her hand on top of mine, silencing me before I could say anything else. I nodded and stood.

He continued, even though I thought the conversation was over. Alison, let’s be clear…

I held up a hand to silence him. I get it, Mark. I stood for a minute more, and when he didn’t say anything, I asked, Are we done?

He nodded, and I left the office. Detective Crawford was standing in front of one of the bookshelves, perusing the titles that Etheridge kept there. He turned when he heard me exit the president’s office. Hello.

My face went red when I thought back to the Friday before and our conversation in my office. Then, I flashed back on my trip to the hospital and the part where I threw up on his shoes. My stomach got a little sick. Hello, I mumbled, and strode past him and into the hallway, going too fast and misjudging the space between where the carpet of the president’s office ended and the marble in the hallway began. I skidded onto the marble floor, my ankle twisting in my high heels. Just before I crumpled to a heap on the floor, I grabbed on to the door handle and righted myself. I saw Crawford start toward me and then stop, one of the books from the bookshelves in his hands. I looked at his shoes and from their high gloss could tell that they were new.

Are you all right? he asked from inside the office. Fran leaned over her desk to see what had happened, her ample bosom grazing the top of a stack of files.

I’m fine, I choked out. I managed to not lose it completely until I had put a great deal of distance between the two of us, and I raced down the hallway, cursing the janitor who had buffed the floor to such a dangerous gloss. I kept going until I reached the stairwell, thinking, My work here is done; I was completely humiliated.

I made it back to my office without injuring myself further and closed the door. Classes had been canceled and grief counselors called in, so I had no reason to stay at school other than to get out of my empty house. I swept a pile of papers off my desk and into my briefcase, which was right where I’d left it on the floor. A soft knock at the door interrupted my thoughts, and I called to the person to come in.

Sister Mary poked her head around the doorjamb tentatively and asked if she could come in. Mary isn’t