A Short Guide to Women's Ministry

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: A View of Women: Aristotle vs. God

Chapter 2: Starting There: Beginning with the End in Mind

Chapter 3: How to Get There

Chapter 4: Starting Here: Beginning Where You Are

Chapter 5: How to Start Here

Chapter 6: Leadership Lessons: Hearts vs. Stars

Chapter 7: How to Polish Developing Stars

Chapter 8: How to Cultivate Healthy Hearts

Chapter 9: Teamwork: Keeping Hearts and Stars Aligned

Chapter 10: Growing and Leading Faithfully

Appendix 1: Guidelines for Structuring a Discipleship School

Appendix 2: Training Group Facilitators

Appendix 3: Devotional Questions: 70 Days with God in His Word

Appendix 4: Know the Women; Know Your Church

Appendix 5: Mentor Training

Appendix 6: Training Teachers

Notes

Copyright © 2024 by Nora Allison

All rights reserved.

978-1-4300-8855-4

Published by B&H Publishing Group

Brentwood, Tennessee

Dewey Decimal Classification: 248.843

Subject Heading: WOMEN \ CHRISTIAN LIFE \ DISCIPLESHIP

All Scripture references are taken from the Christian Standard Bible. Copyright © 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible®, and CSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers, all rights reserved.

Cover design by B&H Publishing Group.

Illustration by The Autumn Rabbit Ltd/Creative Market.

Author photo by Mary Chris Lajom.

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Dedication

For my incredible kids, Lauren, Hanell, and Luke, and their spouses, Troy, Mike, and Chelsi.

In unique and sacrificial ways, you use your time, gifts, means, and abilities to help many others grow to know God, become more like him, and spread his fame. My picture of God continues to expand as I see his image clearly displayed in each of you. I couldn’t be prouder or love you more!

Appreciation

Heart-felt thanks to my sweet friend, Terri Derhake, who read each word of my draft and encouraged me every step of the way. Your thoughtful, kind, positive input is appreciated more than you will know!

A huge thank you to my editor, Mary Wiley, for taking a chance on this first-time author and making my writing process a joy.

Eternal thanks to Lana Wolfe, who first shared the truth of Christ with me, to Pastor Bruce Boria, who trusted me to shepherd women, and to all those who used their gifts to help me grow to know God, become more like him, and spread his fame.

An extra special thank you to my husband and best friend, Gregg, whose belief in me, which often surpasses my own, enabled me to put my thoughts and experiences into writing. Without your urging, this book would not have happened and your feedback throughout was invaluable. I love you now and will forever.

Introduction

I can’t even tell you how very happy and humbled I am that you picked up this book and plan to read it. I’ve been a director of women’s ministry in two different local churches for more than fifteen years, during which time I have eagerly authored many courses, classes, events, and programs to help women grow to know God better, and to step into opportunities to teach and lead and serve others. The idea of authoring a book, however, was not on my radar until various church leaders, including my husband, urged me to take what was happening with the women at our church and make the whats and hows and whys available to others. Once all the excuses I had for not writing ran out, I sat down at my computer and you’re now holding the result.

The questions I get asked most often by interested folks is how I went about developing ministries to women from scratch. How did I start? How did I decide what to do? How did I help grow leaders? What worked and what didn’t? And of course, can you share your ideas with me?

The answers to these—and other questions—I’ve put in this book.

Honestly, I’d much rather be learning, explaining, teaching, showing, and doing ministry with you than typing out a manuscript. I wish I could know you, your heart, your challenges, and the particulars of your situation. Time and space limitations make that impossible, but I sincerely hope you will sit down with me through these pages and in some way identify with the opportunities, questions, issues, and needs that I faced and then be helped by how God led me through them.

It became my passion and purpose early on as a women’s ministry director to provide the women I served with all the teaching, training, and leadership opportunities possible for them to flourish and the whole body of Christ to be built up. In too many of our churches, the desire is present for all to grow and use their gifts, but actual discipleship of the women is neglected. A church’s sound theology is essential, but if unaccompanied by an equally robust practice, it can become a frustrating place where people are inadvertently overlooked, and growth is stunted. Sidelining women is rarely, if ever, the intent, but when leadership training and opportunities are inadequate or even absent for half the church, marginalization is the real-world result and then the whole church suffers. The Holy Spirit couldn’t have been clearer that women and men alike are to be shepherded into complete adulthood in Christ: "We proclaim him, warning and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone mature in Christ" (Col. 1:28, emphasis added).

So how do we do that? How do we help women at every stage of life and spiritual maturity grow to know God, understand and apply the gospel in their everyday lives, walk moment by moment with God’s Spirit, and develop and use their talents and gifts? How do we play a part in shaping the hearts of women into Christlike hearts? And as we discover developing stars in God’s kingdom, how do we employ God’s means to nurture and polish them for his glory?

Millions of words have been penned on various aspects of this. My goal in this book is to put at your fingertips as many foundational principles and practical plans—grounded in biblical truth—as I can, so that whether you’re in a leadership role at your church or hoping to impact a few friends or neighbors, you will find something helpful here.

One lesson you’ll see as you go through the pages that follow is that we all learn as we go. I never had a grand plan of exactly what the final product would look like, what ministries we would end up with, or precisely how to get there. Needs were discerned, decisions were made, and plans developed as God revealed them. Ministry, like life, is made up of hope-filled daily choices and tasks, bathed in prayer, and then chock-full of edits to our best-laid plans.

A principle for all we do, of course, is to keep the goal in mind. We may never have a clear picture of exactly what the fruit of our labors will look like, but we know that hearts and lives shaped by the gospel and image-bearers transformed into God’s true doppelgangers is a goal for each of us!

I pray this book serves as a resource, providing you with ideas for discipling women into maturity in Christ. Some of these resources you may be able to adopt as is, while others you will need to adapt to your context. Still other concepts may not be for you at all but instead will spur on your creativity to something much better for the women you care about.

So, as I write, I’m praying for you, that God will use what he has inspired (and blinds you to what is not from him) so that you and all those in your sphere of influence may grow and that, as a result, all in his kingdom will flourish.

Chapter 1

A View of Women: Aristotle vs. God

Born in 384 BC, Aristotle, renowned philosopher and scientist, is heralded as one of the greatest intellectual figures in all of Western history. Here are some things he had to say about women:

Males have more teeth than females in the case of men, sheep, goats, and swine.

Whoever is not like his parents is in some way a monster because nature has in these cases wandered in some way from the essential character. The first beginning of this is when a female was born instead of a male.

The female is, as it were, a mutilated male.

Females are weaker and colder in nature, and we must look upon the female character as being a sort of natural deficiency.¹

God (and this tooth-deficient, mutilated, monstrous author) begs to differ. From the very beginning, God tells us that women and men alike are his handiwork. His masterpieces. His magnum opus. After creating the world and everything in it, he saved the best for last: humanity in two, beautiful, complementary forms bearing the very image of God.

God created man in his own image;

he created him in the image of God;

he created them male and female. (Gen. 1:27)

Following their creation, God assigned to both men and women the esteemed task of ruling over the earth and filling it with their offspring in a paradisaical setting. When their selfish desires took precedent over God’s, however, they intentionally defied his ordained instructions. The rest, as they say, is history. And although men and women alike, from that time on, would often prove to be deficient and even monstrous, they still bear his image, they need each other, and they are both essential in the flourishing of God’s church.

This may be an obvious truth statement to some, but many women have, for too long, experienced neglect in their local churches. Church leaders frequently design their programs to teach, train, and disciple men, but what is often sadly lacking is a strategic vision and plan to develop women. Although a grievous omission, this is rarely an intentional shunning. It’s usually merely oversight or is based on false assumptions about what women want and need. The singular focus on men is not meant to harm or hold women back. Nonetheless, it does just that. However unintentional and benign the aim, it’s still neglect. And this neglect does serious harm to women and to the entire church.

Furthermore, many women in our churches do not seek growth opportunities. They self-limit, having inherited a very restricted view of what Christian women can and should do. Historical beliefs, after the pattern of Aristotle, that women are inferior and ought only to do as they are told,