Valued

Foreword

Yes, it’s often a bumpy road, the path to effectively leading others. As Matt Dickerson points out in his description of the six habits of successful coaches, the journey of becoming a competent, exemplary leader is usually not a straight-line endeavor. There are seminal moments when a young leader decides that they really enjoy leading others and are pretty good at it, or they decide that they prefer to stay in roles primarily focused on being individual performers.

He aptly describes his own journey and explores the idea that leadership and coaching others is not just a means to an end but rather an overarching aspect of work that can bring you better alignment with your own core values.

This resonates with me for two primary reasons. First, I had the privilege of working in a well-functioning business environment for over twenty-five years and saw firsthand the benefits and power of having leaders who were passionate about developing others while delivering results for the organization. Some individual performers wanted no part of managing others, self-selecting out of that emerging leader category, while others found immense rewards and satisfaction along the sometimes-messy journey. One key to that choice is described nicely by Matt in the chapters that follow as … a deep sense of self-knowledge [that] allows you to show up confidently for others in the way that meets their needs, at that moment in time. You serve as the coach, the sounding board they need you to be. Matt details the process and tactics that enable a leader to meet their people where they are and do it in an authentic manner.

In a highly technically connected world that is not hierarchical, we cannot assume that only those with title or authority play leadership roles. Each team member needs to be able to step up at certain times to lead the project or coach others on the team. Our field research and writing relative to The Catalyst Effect (Emerald Publishing, 2018) support the idea that you lead from wherever you are, regardless of title or authority. The virtual work environment and project team methods of getting work done demand that each of us is able to step up when needed.

What Matt points out nicely in his description of the six habits of successful coaches is that the challenging road of becoming an exemplary leader who is able to coach others can be highly rewarding. The six habits clearly describe the necessary mindset and skills that leaders (whether formal or informal) need in order to be effective. I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I did. It is sprinkled with personal examples and coaching concepts that will encourage your own thinking about how you can become the best coach you can be as we each make our way down the bumpy road.

— Jerry Toomer, author of The Catalyst Effect

Preface

For me, inspiration is something that happens just below the level of consciousness and is easier to pinpoint in retrospect. – Omer Fast

It’s no secret that our occupations require a significant amount of our time, energy, focus, and effort. It is also true for many of us that our work is a substantial driver of our self-perception. Hundreds of books are published every year with lessons meant to help us grow, achieve, succeed, thrive, or simply get by in extreme workplace situations.

These offerings speak to a culture that espouses that self-efficacy is the only driver of relative performance and that you are solely responsible for your success. In other words, if you are self-driven and if you can adopt these best practices or this particular mental model, you can achieve.

While your role in your own development is important, what is not given as much light is the notion that we are responsible for others’ development. This is especially true when someone holds a position with people management responsibilities.

I had a boss tell me that, in their opinion, a young professional would be less likely to advance in an organization unless they (1) moved or traveled often or (2) managed people at multiple points in their career. My bet is that you have heard something similar or have felt that to be true at some point in your career.

In this book, the distinction will be made between manager/director/team lead and leader. We will intentionally use the term leader to refer to one who others follow. While I am standing on the shoulders of many great authors and researchers in this distinction, it is an important one to delineate here.

Managers have well-documented duties and are responsible for overseeing a group of people and their execution of tasks. They handle administrative responsibilities and often serve as conduits of information between management above them and those who report to them.

Leaders, as inferred by the name itself, promote an environment where people follow their lead. Followers don’t follow people who are absent of vision. Further, followers don’t follow unless they are convinced that following will have benefits for them.

Most critically, followers follow those they believe truly care about them and their professional goals.

So why is it that so many leaders and leadership experts espouse that trust is built through expecting those you lead to be self-sufficient? What makes people leaders expect those they lead to demonstrate self-efficacy and find a path on their own?

I’ve heard this sentiment too often, both from peers and clients I coach.

And to some extent, these ideas are not completely inappropriate. It would not be prudent for a leader to spend extra time on someone’s development if they are not fully invested in their own growth. Our time and energy are limited, and, as leaders, we shouldn’t be throwing good money after bad. If they are not interested in progressing their career or growing their skill, there is little a leader can do to motivate or inspire action.

However, if they are motivated, they usually need help. As we’ll discuss, they might not know what to ask for.

I am thankful for the opportunities I have had over the past two-plus decades to experiment, fail, learn, and grow. I have led people formally for more than fifteen years at different organizations. I am also a certified coach and have used many of the tools and tactics I discuss in these pages.

I have NOT achieved mastery in any of the topics I discuss. I write and share out of a desire to contribute to the development of the leaders and potential leaders who might read it. My hope is that some of the connections I make will inspire others to lead better — to invest more proactively into the people they are attempting to lead.

Writing this book also gave me the opportunity to survey other leaders for their opinions and experience. This research should not be viewed as scientific but rather as informative. The several dozen respondents gave countless stories of what good and bad leadership has looked like for them in their careers. The statistics derived from their responses and the accompanying stories will be sprinkled throughout the chapters to come.

In this book, we will learn about six coaching habits that will increase your effectiveness in leading people. We will define the habit itself using helpful examples and stories. We will also review what that habit is seen as — how you show up if you are demonstrating that habit. And finally, each habit is associated with a value or belief. You can think of this as the mantra you might repeat to yourself as reinforcement or focus.

You’ve probably worked for leaders of varied skill levels. The best among them — the heroes in your own story — understood infinitely more about you and your development than you did or could be expected to. They knew about the tools that were available for your development. They understood your company’s culture and how to direct you in navigating it for mutual benefit. They had the wisdom of experience and what is possible.

And here’s the key: The best leaders out there know that they must be the ones to share that wisdom. They know their team members do not know all the right questions to ask. They know we can’t possibly have a vision of a path we have never taken. They implore their people to hold them accountable for making others’ development their priority.

They thrive in the responsibility to proactively teach and guide others. Let’s explore together what that might look and feel like and how you might walk in the footsteps of the great people developers who went before you.

It’s really easy to insist that people read the manual. It’s really easy to blame the user/student/prospect/customer for not trying hard, for being too stupid to get it, or for not caring enough to pay attention. … But none of this is helpful.

— Seth Godin, Tribes

Chapter 1:

What Is Leadership?

Life is short, and there is not much time for us to gladden the hearts of those who travel the way with us; so be quick to love; and make haste to be kind. – Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Carlos and Misunderstanding Leadership

Carlos knocked on his boss’s door. Hey, Sandra, you wanted to see me?

Yes, come on in!

As Carlos closed the door behind him and sat at the table in Sandra’s office, he knew why he was there. Carlos was a 30-something expert in his field. He had excelled in his industry and demonstrated loyalty to his company. He knew he was capable of more and was excited to see that happen. The issue was he was starting to feel like he was hitting a ceiling. What more could he accomplish in his current role? How could he keep challenging himself and making progress in his career? Did he have to manage people in order to advance, or could he find a new assignment where he could just focus on his own work?

After offering Carlos a bottle of water, Sandra began. I know I tell you often, but you are incredible. I was reminded again just last week by the way that you led the team to meet an impossible customer deadline.

He nodded as if to say, Thanks.

She continued, But we both know you need a new challenge. You’ve done all you can on this team.

While he agreed, he dreaded what was coming.

He tried to get out in front of it. Thanks, Sandra. I appreciate the kind words. Your support has always meant a lot to me, and I’m proud of the work we’ve done. I am feeling a bit restless, but I don’t know what’s next. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to manage anyone. That doesn’t leave me with a lot of opportunities. But I also don’t have a lot of interest in exploring roles at other companies. I love it here!

Sandra smiled. What concerns you about leading a team? (She was great at asking good questions.) You would be great!

Carlos responded carefully but firmly. We’ve gone over this in the past. I like being in charge of me!

Sandra listened patiently (she was