Charmed - From Motown to Combat and Back

PREFACE

Writing about oneself is perhaps the pinnacle of narcissism, but when you’ve lived a life that’s engaging, intriguing, and full of captivating stories that others might find edifying, it’s necessary. I grew up on the Northwest side of Detroit as the youngest son of an alcoholic city firefighter and a stay-at-home mother, which led me to believe that I was, all things considered, a very typical individual. I have truly been blessed, and I feel as though I’ve lived a privileged life to the point where I’ve nearly been able to emulate Forrest Gump in my capacity to be on the periphery of big events and renowned individuals. I have indeed been fortunate.

It seems that luck has always been on my side. The phrase The kid could fall in a bucket of shit and come out smellin’ like a rose! was a common one used by my Mom. For instance, I enlist in the United States Navy and despite the fact that there were no assurances and I could have wound up chipping paint for four years, I was selected for the Naval Schools of Photography. Exactly what I wanted. Maybe I should have a career in politics? I end up working for a key Representative at the state legislature. I step up to a microphone, start singing, and then the next thing I know, I’m working as a performer in Las Vegas and on cruise ships. Indeed, I’ve been afforded many opportunities. And this is not to suggest that there haven’t been a lot of obstacles along the way; from the fact that my father was an alcoholic firefighter to suffering with addictions and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). My family is also dysfunctional and estranged. I miss them. Lesson 1? Value family.

Now, I’d want to tell you that I’m a man who has made his own way in the world and much of what I have today is the result of my own relentless hard work, and that’s mostly true… I’ve never received anything from anyone, but at the same time, I've been fortunate to have people who believed in me, recognized my talents, and gave me opportunities to prove myself. So, when politicians claim that personal success is not solely an individual effort, they’re correct in the sense that we don’t exist in a vacuum. We rely on each other for encouragement, support, and guidance. I’ve been exceptionally lucky to have the opportunity to learn from wise advisors along the way.

I've never held a 9 to 5. Ever. The closest I came was when I served as the Director of Public Relations for a prominent Silicon Valley media company. My natural inclination has always been toward entrepreneurship. The digital media revolution, in which I played a small part, led me to believe that investing over a million dollars in a college degree is often a misguided endeavor. The Internet streaming revolution has transformed the media and learning landscape entirely.

In the following pages, I’ll most likely make a great number of errors, and I hope that those who are mentioned (or not mentioned) will forgive me. I have made every effort to remember details correctly. As the lyrics of the song go, What a long strange trip it’s been. My life, much like anyone’s, has been marked by moments of sadness and sorrow, but more often than not, it has been filled with joy and laughter. After 60 plus years, it’s nearly impossible to remember every conversation, but I’m blessed with a robust memory and have kept copious notes. There are some things that stick out in my memory, and I will try to share them with you here for your edification rather than for the sake of my own ego. Everyone has a responsibility to look for the good in bad situations. Hone the ability to laugh in the face of adversity. It’s a tonic!

And now that we’ve gotten that out of the way… I don’t mean to brag, but seriously, can you think of anyone else who has; flown in the F-14 Tomcat Fighter Jet, bombed as a Comedian in front of 300 people in Las Vegas, earned the title ‘King of San Francisco Karaoke’ according to SF Weekly Magazine, released three music CDs (none of which are worth a damn yet sold thousands), authored numerous books that are worth a damn, gigged in places that should have been condemned while touring from Hawaii to New York, Europe to Florida, someone who became a Journeyman in Commercial Photography and has been a royal pain in the rear end ever since he first learned how to walk? And if you do know someone who fits that description, could you please have him give me a call? I really hope that my words might provide you with some motivation, since if I can triumph over adversity with humor and dogged determination, then anyone can.

I grew up in a neighborhood near Redford on the Northwest side of Detroit. There, I had a very typical middle-class Norman Rockwell like upbringing. My childhood home was on a street that was flanked with enormous Dutch elm trees, which created a sort of picturesque tunnel. During the warmer months, a shade tunnel; during the colder months, a snow tunnel. It was remarkable… at least in my eyes. That’s how it all seemed to me when I was 8 years old and living on Heyden Street. I was the youngest of four children, and despite being the focus of things most of the time, I was sometimes disregarded because I was the youngest I guess. More on that later…

My parents did a excellent job of hiding the fact that their marriage was falling apart in the middle of the 1960s, at least as far as I could tell being the youngest of four children. Due to the fact that both of my sisters and brother were 10 years older than I was, it was almost as if we were two separate families. Tommy was the lovely little shit who could do no wrong because he was Daddy and Mama’s pride and joy. The things that I got away with my brother and sisters never could. Music was always big for me and when things got difficult, I would let the music carry me away so I could escape it all. I would daydream about living a life that was more serene.

Having been in close proximity to historic events on multiple occasions… I’m like the ‘Forest Gump’ of Detroit rock-n-roll… Moreover, the experiences I had while serving in the United States Navy were one of a kind. I believe that reading all of it will provide you with a unique and intriguing reading experience. I am living proof that someone with a little bit of talent who’s willing to use all of it is always going to be further ahead than someone who sits on their behind resting upon previous accomplishments, nice looks, or fortunate circumstances.

For me, it’s always been about three things: being prepared, having the balls to believe, and being in the right place at the right moment. My experience has also taught me that other people will believe about you what you believe about you. If you behave like you belong, you actually do belong, and you’ll be left alone…every damn time…if you act like you belong. But you’ve got to be ready and you’ve got to have the skills and talent to back it up you can’t be just all talk and no action. I know I’ve tried and bullshit will only get you so far. Don’t look at me like that. Sometimes BS is better than the truth. And I’m not talking about hurtful lies here.

I’ve made an effort to remember what took place throughout this crazy voyage as accurately as I can. If there’s one thing that today’s events can teach us, it’s that when two individuals look at the same thing, they might walk away with completely different interpretations of what they saw.

From the Rock-n-Roll scene in Detroit and elsewhere to serving in the Combat Camera Group of the United States Navy, to working as a low-level performer in Las Vegas and the Cruise Lines, to now just being a regular stiff just trying to go through life without hurting himself or anyone else… I offer you my best wishes in the hopes that the experiences I’ve had may be of some use in your own life and that you will find these pages to be both inspirational and entertaining. As the great Jackie Gleason always said…  'And awwwwwwway we go!'

FORWARD

Let’s get right down to it… I’d love it if I could have a cool actor or an influential person or a high-profile individual write a cool Forward and include it in this section. The reality is, however, that although I have met a great number of renowned people, the vast majority of them were not really good people and were not individuals whom I would consider to be friends. And that brings me to another point: I don’t actually have all that many friends in this day and age. Because of my advanced age, I am quite picky about the people I allow into my life and with whom I choose to have a relationship. It’s probably unfortunate, but I’ve just been burned one too many times. And I’m sure I’m not innocent too.

However, I did have an offer from a state senator in Florida, and the editor of a large magazine, as well as the lead guitarist of a semi-famous band and a very prominent actress from Hollywood, all wanted to try their hand at it. However, I do not require, and you most certainly do not wish to read, a whole bunch of self-congratulatory drivel about what a fantastic man I am and everything that I have achieved or experienced in my life. Who has time for that–what a waste!

Let’s do this instead and save some time for the two of us. Kay? I have made an effort to be a good person and to do unto others, and I hope that you’ve made an effort to do the same. People are only as morally upstanding as they persuade themselves to be. You want to have a nasty attitude and screw others over… well, guess what? Karma is a real thing, and I’ve seen many people get what’s coming to them (and ironically, those people are always the ones who scream the loudest).

It’s true that luck has been on my side. There were numerous instances in which I should not have been successful; as a result of a troubled adolescence that led me down the wrong path. I entered the Navy without any promises, and I talked my way into one of the most wanted occupations in the fleet: that of a combat photojournalist. I was never afraid to put myself in dangerous situations in order to capture the photo I wanted, whether it was flying in the door of a helicopter doing 200 miles per hour or going 40