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    C.P. Sharpe's Unspeakable!
    C.P. Sharpe's Unspeakable!
    C.P. Sharpe's Unspeakable!
    Ebook81 pages33 minutes

    C.P. Sharpe's Unspeakable!

    By C.P. Sharpe

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    About this ebook

    We all hear phrases that don't seem to mean anything, or even ones that don't mean what they should. Take a look through some that seem to pop up when someone has nothing else to say, but they still want to throw in their tuppence.

     

    From office speak to tabloid trickery, from "Cheer up!" to "What do you think?" Twenty-five things people say, that you'd rather they didn't.

     

    If you'd like to know more (don't look at me like that – some people do) you can also visit the ol' website (link is on the intro page).

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherC.P. Sharpe
    Release dateDec 23, 2023
    ISBN9781915299000
    C.P. Sharpe's Unspeakable!
    Author

    C.P. Sharpe

    C.P. Sharpe has been writing (what he calls) humour from a young age (well, about nineteen, which, considering he's now firmly into his 50s, can be considered 'a young age').   After thirty-odd years of making a valiant effort at joke and sketch-writing, short stories, novels, stand-up comedy, various parodies, videos, songs and articles, he is now looking at re-formatting all that material into eBooks... mostly because he's finally figured out that he can.   So far, a small range of titles are available, which will be shown nearby to this bio. He is always bashing away at a follow-up (he doesn't actually bash anything; he's fairly civilised).   CP can be found at the website below. He also has FB, YT and IG accounts, which he occasionally gets around to updating, but he hasn't bothered with X since... well, since it became 'X', because he just can't stand how stupid a rebranding exercise that was. However, you can still contact him directly: [email protected].   Thank you for showing an interest. Frankly, that's as much as CP can hope for. He wants you to get as much of a kick out of his content as he does. (He won't actually kick you. That would involve standing up. He can perhaps manage an appreciative raised eyebrow.)

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      Book preview

      C.P. Sharpe's Unspeakable! - C.P. Sharpe

      Contact and Copyright

      Unspeakable! 25 Troublesome Expressions, Questions and Phrases That Disturb Your Equilibrium and Are Otherwise Worse Than Silence.

      Published by Withanee Books © 2023 C.P. Sharpe. All Rights Reserved.

      ISBN: 978-1-915299-00-0

      No part of this book may be reproduced or modified in any form, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Attributed quotations are the only exceptions. For permissions, contact: [email protected]

      For more information, visit www.cpsharpe.com

      YouTube # Facebook # Instagram

      ȹ

      Contents

      Contact and Copyright

      Contents

      Introduction

      System Addict

      You, Personally

      Tabloid Mentality

      Just Do As You Are Told

      A Last Word from the Bloke Who Wrote It

      Credits and Titles

      List of Phrases

      ȹ

      Introduction

      Hi there and thank you for picking up your free C.P. Sharpe eBook (the eBook itself is free; it’s not a call to free C.P. Sharpe. Like, from prison or anything. Although, it may be worth holding that thought…)

      There are other book titles to look out for. Also, if you’d like to know what the next one will be, you can visit the ol’ website and sign up for the newsletter.

      In the meantime, as you have been reliably informed, what follows is a comparatively brief collection of 25 phrases, questions and expressions (or whatever the order of words was on the cover) that by now you will have heard just once too often (I certainly have).

      Of course, we all need to talk to each other. Indeed, we should all be encouraged to talk to each other more than we do. After all, it’s no secret that positive, supportive relationships are the key to a happier life. With all that yakking though, it’s not unheard of for you to just plain run out of things to say.

      However, instead of simply staying quiet for a few moments and letting someone else put their foot in it, there are those who seek to cross the void with a verbal bridge, not because what they’re saying is appropriate or makes sense or even expands on what came before, but merely because it’s familiar.

      Here then, are 25 questions, expressions and phrases (that’s still not in the same order) that people utter too often and which I’m sure our culture would be richer for losing.

      ȹ

      System Addict

      Diagram Description automatically generated

      1.

      Going forward...

      A picture containing text, linedrawing Description automatically generated

      There is no statement that has been made lesser by the removal of this phrase. Whenever someone says this, I have to resist the urge to stand on a table and hold a sword aloft, while declaring, Onward! To glory! It is meaningless office speak, up there with Let’s put a pin in that (what, you mean like in a balloon?) and "There’s no ‘I’

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