Mea Nico

©Donna Lee Davis 2023

ISBN: 979-8-35092-329-2 paperback

ISBN: 979-8-35092-330-8 ebook

All rights reserved

Pencil sketch illustrations by the author

Facial reconstruction portrait used with permission of the Face Lab

at Liverpool John Moores University

Trinity Prayer (Father, Brother, dearest Friend) © Donna Lee Davis 2022

OTHER TITLES BY DONNA LEE DAVIS

Sheer Poetry Revisited

Here Is the Church: A History of St. Mary Parish

(with William J. Shorter)

Matter of Discretion

Something Else Entirely: Collected Works

Genesius

for all the cheerful givers

I solemnly assure you, the man who has faith in me will do the works I do, and greater far than these

–John 14:12, New American Bible

Contents

I

II

III

IV

V

VI

VII

VIII

IX

X

XI

XII

XIII

XIV

XV

XVI

XVII

XVIII

XIX

XX

XXI

XXII

XXIII

XXIV

XXV

XXVI

XXVII

XXVIII

XXIX

XXX

XXXI

XXXII

XXXIII

XXXIV

XXXV

XXXVI

XXXVII

XXXVIII

XXXIX

XL

XLI

XLII

XLIII

XLIV

XLV

XLVI

XLVII

XLVIII

XLIX

L

LI

LII

LIII

LIV

LV

LVI

LVII

LVIII

LIX

LX

LXI

LXII

LXIII

LXIV

LXV

LXVI

EPILOGUE

GRAINS OF SALT AND LIBERTIES

A WORD OF THANKS

I

Nicaea¹, August 25, 325 A.D.

No light in the prison cell. No light, only varied depths of darkness. Shallow dimness through daylight hours when surely the sun blazed outside, betrayed by thin rays raining dust motes, the intermittent glimmers of noon-bright that seeped through cracks above his head. Or when the door through which he was fed slid open, revealing a hand and half-light duskiness beyond it. But the nights, the endless nights were deep, fathomless, fraught with guilt and wearing a veil of darkest, smothering blackness. The nights were interminable, for sleep rarely came. Or if it did he was insensible of it, for all was the same, a crushing, endless empty sameness, and no consciousness of rest. Life was reduced to counting breaths, breathing prayer, craving the glow from the stub of just one candle. Ever a longing for remembered light.

No sound in the prison cell, save infrequent cries from others, muffled and muted through thick walls of stone slabs. Others who perhaps had no faith at all for solace, no prayers, no hope to sustain them. Many men, he realized, who were far more lost than he. He tried to remember to pray for them, especially when his own need was keen. His petitions for the others were gifts made in secret, as was his dearest custom.

This was not his first imprisonment. One might say he had long ago perfected confinement skills. For comfort—for sanity—he talked to himself, but never aloud. There would be no biting of words into the stale, foul air, words for his ears alone. There was only a voice within himself, speaking from head or heart to soul and back again, the whisper of self-knowledge. A communion of the spirit, as it were. And because there was little satisfaction and nothing new in that exchange, there lingered a hunger for communication, for conversation. Ever a yearning for remembered words.

That was his whole existence now, darkness, pain and silence. Yet this night, this longest, blackest, most unendurable night, he heard—he was sure he heard, from outside himself—a call, his name, the words from his childhood, lovingly expressed. Nico, Nico. Was it real? Was it to be trusted? Did he truly hear someone? Nico, Nico! Mea Nico!

1 ancient Greek city in northwest Anatolia (Asia Minor)

II

Patara,² Lycia, 270 A.D.

There was light aplenty at the beginning, light and voices and music. His earliest memories were of a sweet brilliance, a round moon face lit by lantern shine near his crib, and a soft crooning sound that was care and safety personified. How warm it was, if he was chilled; how cool and refreshing if he were hot. How that face and that voice was his world, and how his world was a place of sustenance and contentment. There were other faces, soft like hers or long and bearded; other sounds in the breeze that blew from the Mediterranean Sea, fragrant and steady; other songs, other words. But what he remembered most was her fragrance of musk and cinnamon; her touch, commanding yet gentle; her smile in the lantern light. Her words: Mea Nico.

He could not know it then, but the attentions of his moon faced nurse were a source of contention between his mother and father and were of troubling curiosity to his esteemed uncle, a consecrated bishop.

Is it not unnatural, my sister, that this woman should have such attachment to the babe? Methodius stroked his long whiskers thoughtfully. They had been standing near the threshold of the nursery chamber, hidden by shadows, watching the woman cradling and cooing to the infant child. His brotherly concern was well meant; he prided himself on his ability to observe and assess situations yet refrain from judgments. It is as though she casts herself into your role as his mother.

Johanna stiffened somewhat and drew her palla³ reflexively over breasts which after more than a month were still sore and weeping. A wet nurse was a necessity, I assure you, Methodius, and we were fortunate to find Nonna both available and willing. She does not usurp my role, but merely enhances it. She eyed the bronze cross on the heavy chain about her brother’s neck and recognized the mild yet unmistakable authority with which he carried himself, even in her familiar presence. Are you quite sure that it is not that she is Roman born? That is my husband’s objection. She is a Christian, of that I am certain, and a woman fluent in both Latin and Greek. Where were we to find a handmaid more suitable?

Where indeed. Methodius smiled faintly. I am not anti-Roman, my dear, but only anti-heresy. Perhaps that is what worries Epiphánios. There are factions, particularly in Rome, which would sully the purity of our Lord’s word, should we let them.

You give my husband undeserved credit. He has not your spiritual gifts nor a ready understanding of theological matters. His prejudices are merely that; he sees the Romans, as a race, as brutish conquerors.

And he does not wish his household to be conquered?

Exactly so, she said, amused. The nurse had lain the child in his crib. My son sleeps. Come! You must have something to eat. The journey on foot from your dwelling place is draining. You surely are famished.

He brightened. I confess, from the moment the Patara lighthouse came into view, not to mention the yellow stones of this blessed house beyond, I could think of little but your excellent gastrin.⁴

You always had a preference for sweets, Methodius. I fear you are but a boy beneath that beard.

And what is wrong with that? he smiled. A man who honors his youth preserves his innocence.

’And from innocence is born humility,’ yes, I remember.

She led him away from the darkened nursery to the bright central courtyard, gliding regally, trailing a colorful costume of rich silk as befit her station. She was a handsome woman even now, weakened as she had been by a difficult birth. Her features were delicate, her face nearly unlined, her silvered hair pinned in becoming swirls that were thick and glossy. And she was an accomplished woman. Orders had been issued upon her brother’s arrival, so that the meal was already in place, hearty dishes of salted fish, olives, teganites⁵ with honey, and figs. Her dear husband too was ready to break his fast and greeted the bishop with deference and affection.

Methodius, brother, you look well.

As do you, Phánios. Fatherhood becomes you.

Epiphánios, solidly built and equal to his wife in comeliness, seemed to swell in stature with the compliment. The men embraced and took their places before the repast, while Johanna withdrew to her seat in the shade at the rim of the courtyard. Like any woman of means in Lycia, she avoided the sun to preserve a pale complexion; and in the old Greek custom, she would eat after the men had their fill.

From her vantage point beneath a prized liquid amber⁶ she could listen to their discussion while finishing the embroidery in her lap. Their topic was, as she knew it would be, whether her infant son should be baptized now or after he had attained an age for instruction. Her brother argued for the former with all the strength and persuasion of his position in the Church. Her husband, a simple man of business and logic, favored the latter course. To Johanna’s mind, the question was already decided. Had she not borne this miracle child late in life, after her husband’s loins had nearly lost all vigor and after she had nearly lost all hope? Would she allow this precious soul she had long prayed for to be left vulnerable to the evils of the world for one day longer than need be? Was she not the beating heart of this household, and as its mistress had she not already prepared the site and the means?

Johanna looked up from her stitching, seeing not what was before her but in her wistful mind’s eye all that was beyond her courtyard walls. She loved Patara. This was the city where she had been betrothed to Epiphánios as a young girl. She loved the thick groves of cedars of Lebanon, the beach of blue waves, the amethyst fields of bougainvillea and the wild strawberry trees, the lighthouse, the Date Palm Baths. These were home, as much as the ochre stones of these walls were a refuge. These were her son’s heritage. How wonderful it would be to see him publicly baptized in the sea itself or in the yellow Xanthos River. But as Christians in a pagan land under Roman rule they must be circumspect. It would not do to make a spectacle, to call attention.

Sighing, she continued embellishing a tiny tunic for her son. The baptismal garment, white on perfect white. A large basin of copper and chiseled quartz had been prepared, with a gravity fount fashioned to provide moving, living water. The water would be not too cold, nor too warm; she had seen to that. All was ready. She needed only that the men in her life reach a decision and believe it was their own.

I suppose there is value in early baptism, her dear Phánios was saying at last, helping himself to another fig. It is done increasingly often in our community; it is accepted. I bow to your authority, Methodius.

She smiled.

Thus it came to pass that on the third day of his uncle’s visit, in the full sun of their home courtyard and in the sight and hearing of friends who practiced The Way of the Christ, the Holy Spirit came to dwell in his infant soul.

What name do you give your son? Methodius asked.

Nicolaos, said his father.

The bishop passed his little body clad in the purest white through the flow of water three times, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

From her place behind the first circle of friends the servant Nonna, watching intently, nodded approval and silently mouthed the words, Mea Nico.

2 ancient city on the southwest coast of modern day Türkiye (Turkey)

3 cloak

4 ancient form of baklava, a Greek pastry

5 pancake made with wheat flour and curdled milk

6 sweetgum tree

III

Birdsong in the morning. He was five years old and maddeningly obsessed with birdsong in the morning. Is it the blackbird, Mama, or could it be the skylark? Not waiting for an answer, perhaps sensing that she had none. Nonna says the skylark only sings like that on the wing, so I think it is the blackbird, for I do not see any bird flying. Every morning the same song, and Nonna says the blackbird is always the first to call the day. His little face dimmed with doubt. Yet it could be the lark. I will ask Nonna.

’Nonna!’ Really, Nicolaos, your Nonna does not know everything.

Oh, but she does, Mama.

She shook her head, a firm no. These are questions for your tutors.

My tutors are great scribes and can teach from many scrolls, but Nonna knows all the stories of the beauty in God’s world.

Nevertheless. This child. His chatter was incessant, his questions probing, his imagination boundless and often the ruler of his very being. Do not let your father hear you laud Nonna on the subject of birds or stories or any other thing. He pays those tutors to instruct you.

But is not Nonna also paid, Mama? You have told me many times that she is not of our family.

She is paid, Johanna snapped. She is rewarded with a place in our household. A place of honor, if I may say.

The boy was quiet for a moment. Appeased, perhaps, or more likely forming another round of questions. She felt instant regret for her tartness with him. He was such a dreamy eyed innocent, so full of life and love, and still so very much her miracle babe. He was divinely formed, in her estimation. A sweet face crowned with dark curls that revealed fair lights in the sun. She marveled yet again how she and Phánios, both of them rusting and graying, could have produced such a wonder.

Do you know the bee-eater, Mama?

The merops, yes. They trouble the hives.

But they are pretty birds, so many colors, and they eat other bees and wasps that are harmful, and yet they are not stung. And sometimes they bathe in water, and sometimes they take dust baths. Slowing for a breath, I do not think I would like a dust bath.

No, nor I.

Nonna says that God made every living thing. She says even those that seem bad have some good in them, and though we think some creatures ugly, there is much beauty in them. We need only to look at them with God’s eyes.

Johanna caressed the silken top of his head. He raised it and looked at her. The teeth in his smile were perfect pearls, she thought; his eyes were brown as two chestnuts and full of love.

Across the wide courtyard Nonna of Rome, daughter of Marcus Cornelius, young widow of Theophánes the Greek, regarded the overcast sky with disappointment. She welcomed the soothing warmth of the sun and, unlike Johanna, often chose to perform her duties where its rays could bathe and enliven her. Daily she rubbed olive oil scented with cinnamon into her skin as had her mother before her, deepening the russet hue that her Theo had found to his liking. This was only one of the many things her mistress frowned upon that to Nonna were as natural as breathing. Another was any open demonstration of the bond she felt with the son of the house, Nicolaos.