Perfect Blend

PROLOGUE

Queer divorce support group Discord

General channel

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Hi, everyone. Glad to have found this space. I just filed for divorce from my husband and figured it couldn’t hurt to talk with some people who get it.

SadSingleGay: Welcome! How’d you find us?

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Is it too depressing to admit I googled for queer support groups and saw this space mentioned in a blog post?

SunshineWatermelon: That’s exactly how I found it! Welcome :)

MarriageSux: Ditto. Welcome.

Beckatronix: Welcome! Glad you found us. I’m one of the admins. You can tag or DM me with any questions. We’ve got an introductions channel if you’d like to share anything about yourself. No pressure to reveal anything personal. The welcome channel has an intro to using Discord (if you need it), descriptions of each channel, and the rules.

Bricker: [GIF that reads Welcome, we have cookies]

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Got any butterscotch oatmeal? Those are my fave.

Bricker: Those are my fave too! Seems like no one gives butterscotch the credit it deserves.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Couldn’t agree more.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: [GIF of a butterscotch cookie being split in half and the chips all melty]

Tomwombat: Welcome! Glad to have new blood. I mean a new person. [GIF of a vampire]

Lightingthequeen: Don’t mind Tom. They don’t bite without permission.

SausageDog29: If you get lost in all the channels we have, don’t hesitate to ask questions. We’re a (mostly) friendly bunch.

Introductions channel

Bricker: Howdy! I’m a gay man going through a tough divorce. Lost a lot of my friends in the split, so I’m hoping to find some support here. Haven’t really joined an online group like this before, so not sure how much info I want to share yet.

Lezismore: Hey! I’m Rachel, early 30s. Lesbian (obvs from the username). Recently got divorced from my husband and came out. Lots of changes! Would love to talk with anyone who’s gone through something similar. Also, I love butterflies. Apologies in advance for tons of butterfly GIFs.

ImEnBee: 20-something Pokémon gremlin. Obsessed with anime and BL. Married my college best friend, but we discovered we’re better as friends. I’m on Discord all the time, and this seems like an interesting place to hang out.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Like Bricker, I think I’m going to keep personal details minimum. Gay man and just started the divorce process. It should go pretty quickly. Coffee is life. I love cats and dogs equally, so please don’t make me choose.

Venting channel

MarriageSux: My ex wants me to go to their family’s 4th of July picnic (we’re in the US, so you know, BBQ and fireworks). I don’t know what to do.

RandomQueer: Are you close with their family? Or are they using you as a buffer?

Ace-Freely: Didn’t they ask you to go to their grandma’s birthday party too and asked you not to tell people you’d split yet?

MarriageSux: @RandomQueer, yeah, my family…isn’t great. Theirs became like my new family. @Ace-Freely, yeah. Ugh. They were worried Grams’s heart issue would act up, but she found out, and it was fine.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Oof. That’s so relatable. My ex also wants me to stay involved with some of his family stuff and other activities. It makes it hard to move on.

MarriageSux: @JavaJackOfAllTrades, I probably shouldn’t get comfort from that, but I do. Misery loves company, I guess. Thanks for the validation.

Bricker: That’s so tough. I really liked my ex’s family, but he would never invite me around them now. I miss them.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: @Bricker, that’s a part of the whole marriage thing they sure don’t warn you about, huh? Losing the partner’s family is hard.

TV/movie chat channel

BigFree-duh: #UnPopularOpinion Schitt’s Creek is overrated.

OverIt: Yeah, I couldn’t get through the first season.

StokeCity83: They were so obnoxious. I gave up after a few episodes too.

Bricker: WHAT!! I’m going to need a few minutes to wrap my head around this slander before I can properly reply.

PAN-au-chocolat: [GIF of person eating popcorn]

BiNow: Schitt’s Creek is the best! Y’all don’t know what you’re missing.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: I gotta agree with Bricker and BiNow. That’s one of my favorite shows! They have to suck so bad in the beginning because it makes it much more satisfying when they’re less shit people by the end of the show.

Bricker: EXACTLY! Thank you, @JavaJackOfAllTrades. I was still too aghast to articulate my thoughts.

StokeCity83: Hmm, that’s a good point. So they’re not obnoxious by the end?

Bricker: Oh, they’re still obnoxious, but in a less annoying and more endearing way.

BiNow: And there’s Patrick! [heart-eyes emoji]

BigFree-duh: I just don’t get what’s so great about it.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Aside from being super well-written, hilarious, and heartwarming, the queer rep is amazing. Kind of groundbreaking, actually.

Bricker: YES! Sorry for all the caps and exclamation points. I’m very passionate about this, lol. Jack is spot-on. It’s set in a town where homophobia isn’t a thing. People suck for other reasons, but not for -isms and -ias. And there’s queer love without tragedy. How many shows and movies can you think of that have a true queer love story with a happy ending and no monumental tragedy to overcome to get it?

Tomwombat: …Did someone say happy ending? [GIF of Quagmire from Family Guy saying giggidy]

Direct message between Bricker and JavaJackOfAllTrades

Bricker: Hope it’s okay to DM you (ignore me if this is weird). I can’t believe the Schitt’s Creek slander in a queer Discord server. [GIF of a person fainting]

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Not weird at all! Good to chat with you.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: I’m shooketh, as the kids say.

Bricker: Do kids say that?

JavaJackOfAllTrades: I think I heard a teen say that once. [shrug emoji]

Bricker: LOL

JavaJackOfAllTrades: So, who’s your favorite Schitt’s Creek character?

Bricker: How much time do you got? I have a lot of very detailed and nuanced opinions.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: I’m just drinking a beer and watching the show at home. I got plenty of time for your thoughts on this very important topic.

- - -

JavaJackOfAllTrades: I’m pretty impressed by the Discord server. They’re an organized group and damn passionate about Lizzo.

Bricker: Lizzo is a unifier of the people.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: I can’t argue with that. It’s nice to chat 1:1 too. All the channels are a bit overwhelming. No matter how often I pop in, there always seems to be a dozen channels with new messages.

Bricker: I like chatting 1:1 too. You’re really the first person I’ve talked to more than swapping a couple of messages.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Me too. I’d like to keep chatting, but is it okay if we stay anonymous? I think it’s helping me to be more honest because you don’t know who I am. I haven’t even told my best friend some of the stuff about my divorce because it’s complicated. It’s nice to not have to worry about any of that.

Bricker: I totally get it. The anonymity is nice for me too. That’s a boundary I’m happy to respect. [thumbs up emoji]

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Awesome, thanks.

- - -

JavaJackOfAllTrades: I’m so tired of arguing with people over whether my ex and I are actually split. Maybe I should tattoo the divorce decree on my forehead.

Bricker: If you did it in rainbow, it’d be a great way to signal you’re gay too.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Lol, good idea. Maybe I can flourish it with an outline of a cock and balls.

Bricker: Now you’re talking. What happened?

JavaJackOfAllTrades: He asked me to attend an event with him. We’re still playing nice in public.

Bricker: Why?

JavaJackOfAllTrades: It’s complicated. His family has a lot of power in town, and he’s trying to save face. I don’t really mind.

Bricker: Don’t you though?

JavaJackOfAllTrades: [grimace emoji]

Bricker: Sorry, too much?

JavaJackOfAllTrades: No, I need real talk. That’s the beauty of chatting on here and being anonymous.

Bricker: True.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: I guess it’s easier to act like we’re still friends. We don’t hate each other or anything. I’m definitely not missing him. I just lost my tolerance for him, you know? The idea of going to events together is losing its shine.

Bricker: I get that. My ex and I are the opposite. I couldn’t imagine being in the same room as him. After what happened, there’s nothing to say to each other.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: That’s so tough.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: I moved here for him, and I can’t shake the feeling that if I totally cut him off, I’ll be cutting off everyone else I’ve gotten to know over the years.

Bricker: I get that. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable worry, but I’m sure people would be more understanding. At least, I hope they’d be. If you want to talk it out, I’ve got time.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Thanks. I think that’ll help.

- - -

Bricker: You just want to go somewhere tropical so you can rock a tiny swimsuit. [wink emoji]

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Haha! You’re not wrong.

Bricker: How big is your tiny swimsuit collection?

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Wouldn’t you like to know?

Bricker: [GIF of someone flirtily saying maybe]

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Are you a tiny swimsuit vacationer? Or maybe a hiking boots and backpack kind of guy? Or a snowsuit man? Where would you like to go if you got a free trip?

Bricker: You’re gonna laugh.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: I promise I won’t.

Bricker: Okay. No laughing! Or if you do, just don’t type it, lol.

JavaJackOfAllTrades. Promise! I’m on pins and needles.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Seriously?! Why are you teasing me? It’s been like 10 minutes!

Bricker: Haha, sorry! Got a work call.

Bricker: Denmark to go to the first LEGOLAND park. [grimace emoji]

JavaJackOfAllTrades: YOU’RE SHITTING ME.

Bricker: …I can’t tell if this is one of those Step Brothers did we just become best friends? moments or if I’m about to get digitally bullied.

JavaJackOfAllTrades: [GIF from Step Brothers that reads did we just become best friends? then Yup!]

Bricker: Are you an adult fan of LEGOs??

JavaJackOfAllTrades: Yes! A proud AFOL. Well, technically, a GayFOL, lol.

Bricker: Oh man. I knew I had a good feeling