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Black Wings of Cthulhu (Volume Two)
Black Wings of Cthulhu (Volume Two)
Black Wings of Cthulhu (Volume Two)
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Black Wings of Cthulhu (Volume Two)

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A FEAST OF TERROR In the second volume of the critically acclaimed Black Wings series, S.T. Joshi— the world's foremost Lovecraft scholar—has assembled eighteen more brand-new and imaginative horror tales, inspired by the twentieth century's greatest writer of the supernatural, H. P. Lovecraft. Leading contemporary horror authors, including John Shirley, Tom Fletcher, Caitlín R. Kiernan, Jonathan Thomas, Nick Mamatas, Richard Gavin, Melanie Tem, John Langan, Jason C. Eckhardt, Don Webb, Darrell Schweitzer, Nicholas Royle, Steve Rasnic Tem, Brian Evenson, Rick Dakan, Donald Tyson, Jason V. Brock, and Chet Williamson, will draw upon themes, images, and ideas from the life and work of the master of the genre to deliver a rich feast of terror.
LanguageEnglish
PublisherTitan Books
Release dateFeb 28, 2014
ISBN9780857687852
Black Wings of Cthulhu (Volume Two)
Author

John Shirley

John Shirley is one of the original cyberpunk authors, and appears in Mirrorshades: The Cyberpunk Anthology. His novel City Come A-Walkin’, and his Eclipse trilogy, are regarded as seminal cyberpunk works. He is the winner of the 1998 Bram Stoker Award for his story collection, Black Butterflies: A Flock on the Dark Side. His novels include A Splendid Chaos, Demons, Wetbones, Black Glass, Crawlers, The Other End, High, and Stormland. Shirley has also written scripts for films such as The Crow and television shows such as Stark Trek: Deep Space Nine, as well as lyrics for American rock band Blue Öyster Cult.

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    Black Wings of Cthulhu (Volume Two) - John Shirley

    Introduction

    S. T. JOSHI

    WHAT DEFINES A L OVECRAFTIAN STORY ? T HIS SEEMINGLY simple question is in fact full of ambiguities, perplexities, and paradoxes, for the term could encompass everything from the most slavish of pastiches that seek (usually unsuccessfully) to mimic Lovecraft’s dense and flamboyant prose and mechanically replicate his gods, characters, and places, to tales that allusively draw upon Lovecraft’s core themes and imagery, to parodies ranging from the affectionate (Fritz Leiber’s To Arkham and the Stars) to the faintly malicious (Arthur C. Clarke’s At the Mountains of Murkiness). My goal in the Black Wings series has been to avoid the first at all costs and to foster the second and, to a lesser degree, the third. The days when August Derleth or Brian Lumley could invent a new god or forbidden book and therefore declare themselves as working in the Lovecraft tradition are long over. What is now needed is a more searching, penetrating infusion of Lovecraftian elements that can work seamlessly with the author’s own style and outlook.

    That being said, it becomes vital for both writers and readers to understand the essence of the Lovecraftian universe, and the literary tools he used to convey his aesthetic and philosophical principles. One of the great triumphs of modern Lovecraft scholarship has been to demonstrate that Lovecraft was an intensely serious writer who, as his letters and essays suggest, continually grappled with the central questions of philosophy and sought to suggest answers to them by means of horror fiction. What is our place in the cosmos? Does a god or gods exist? What is the ultimate fate of the human species? These and other big questions are perennially addressed in Lovecraft’s fiction, and in a manner that conveys his cosmic sensibility—a sensibility that keenly etches humankind’s transience and fragility in a boundless universe that lacks a guiding purpose or direction. At the same time, Lovecraft’s intense devotion to his native soil made him something of a regionalist who vivified the history and topography of Providence, Rhode Island, and all of New England, establishing a foundation of unassailable reality from which his cosmic speculations could take wing.

    How contemporary writers have adapted these and other central ideas and motifs into their own work is well demonstrated by the tales in this volume. Cosmic indifferentism is at the heart of Melanie Tem’s Dahlias, which does not require explicit horror, or the supernatural, to convey its effects. The uniquely topographical, even archaeological horror that we find in such a tale as At the Mountains of Madness is powerfully demonstrated in Richard Gavin’s The Abject and Donald Tyson’s The Skinless Face. Tom Fletcher in some sense draws upon the claustrophobic horror that Lovecraft created in The Dreams in the Witch House in his unnerving tale, View. Nicholas Royle’s The Other Man is a searching and terrifying meditation on the theme of identity, a theme is that found in such of Lovecraft’s tales as The Outsider and The Shadow out of Time.

    Alien incursion is at the heart of many Lovecraft tales, and John Langan (Bloom) and Jonathan Thomas (The King of Cat Swamp) ring very different but equally engaging changes on this complex theme. Thomas’s story is a clear nod, both in setting and in character, to Lovecraft’s The Call of Cthulhu, as are, in a very different manner, Jason C. Eckhardt’s And the Sea Gave Up the Dead and Brian Evenson’s The Wilcox Remainder; Caitlín R. Kiernan’s Houndwife is a tip of the hat to The Hound, and Nick Mamatas’s Dead Media plays a riff on The Whisperer in Darkness. But in all these cases, subtle character development of a sort that Lovecraft generally did not favour raises these tales far above the level of pastiche. A rent in the very fabric of the universe is at the heart of Darrell Schweitzer’s inextricable fusion of fantasy and horror, The Clockwork King, the Queen of Glass, and the Man with the Hundred Knives, while Steve Rasnic Tem’s Waiting at the Crossroads Motel fuses setting and character in a tale whose cosmic backdrop is thoroughly Lovecraftian.

    One of the most interesting developments in recent years—perhaps inspired by the mountains of information on Lovecraft’s daily life and character that have emerged through the publication of his letters—is the degree to which Lovecraft himself has become a character, even an icon, in fiction. In very different ways, John Shirley’s When Death Wakes Me to Myself and Rick Dakan’s Correlated Discontents draws upon Lovecraft’s own personal idiosyncrasies to convey terror and weirdness. The proliferation of Lovecraft’s work in the media—especially film and television—is at the heart of Don Webb’s Casting Call and Chet Williamson’s Appointed, tales that skirt the borderland of parody while remaining chillingly terrifying. Jason V Brock takes on Lovecraft’s voluminous letter-writing directly with an epistolary tale that suggests far more than it tells.

    The fact that writers of such different stripes have chosen to work, however tangentially, in the Lovecraftian idiom is a testament to the vibrancy and eternal relevance of his central themes and concerns. As he memorably wrote, We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. But it is the very purpose of the writer of fiction to venture, in imagination, beyond that placid island, and very often the result is a harrowing sense of our appalling isolation in the cosmic drift. Lovecraft himself spent a lifetime seeking to probe beyond the limitations of the human senses toward the vast cosmos-at-large, and it is evident that a growing cadre of writers are eager to follow him.

    S. T. Joshi


    When Death Wakes Me to Myself

    JOHN SHIRLEY

    John Shirley is the author of numerous novels, collections of stories—including the Bram Stoker Award-winning Black Butterflies—and scripts. His screenplays include The Crow. His newest novels are Demons (Del Rey, 2007), Black Glass (Elder Signs Press, 2008), Bleak History (Simon & Schuster, 2009), Bioshock: Rapture (Tor, 2011), and Everything Is Broken (Prime Books, 2011).


    SOMEONE’S BROKEN INTO THE HOUSE, DOCTOR ."

    Fyodor saw no fear in Leah’s gray eyes. But he’d never seen her afraid, and she’d worked closely with him in psychiatrics for almost eight years—ever since he’d finished his internship. She brushed auburn hair from her pale forehead, adjusted her glasses, and went on, The window latch is broken in your office—and I think I heard someone moving around down in the basement.

    Did you call the police? Fyodor asked, glancing toward the basement door. His mouth felt dry.

    They stood in the front hallway of the old house, by the open arch to the waiting room. I did. I was about to call you, when you walked in.

    They didn’t speak for a long moment, both of them listening for the burglar. Wintry morning light angled through the bay windows of the waiting room, casting intricate shadows from the lace curtains across the braided rug. A dog barked down the street; a foghorn hooted. Just the sounds of Providence, Rhode Island…

    Then a peal of happy laughter rippled up through the hardwood floorboards. It cut short so abruptly he wondered if he’d really understood the sound. That sound like laughter to you?

    Yes. She glanced at the window. The police are in no hurry…

    You should wait out front, Leah. He was thinking he should try to see to it that whoever this was, they weren’t setting a fire, vandalizing, doing serious damage to the house. He was negotiating to buy it, planning to expand it into a suite of offices with various health services—especially bad timing for vandalism. It was a big house, built in 1825, most of it not in use at the moment. The ground-floor den was ideal for receiving patients; the front living room had been converted into a waiting room.

    Fyodor took a step through the archway, into the hall—and then the basement door burst open. A slender young man stood there, a few paces away, holding a bottle in his hand, toothy grin fading. Oh! I seem to have lost all track of time. How indiscreet of me, said the young man, in an accent that sounded Deep South. He wore a neat dark suit with a rather antiquated blazer, thin blue tie, starched white shirt, silver cufflinks, polished black shoes. His fingernails were immaculately manicured, his straight black hair neatly combed back. Fyodor noted all this with a professional detachment, but also a little surprise—he’d expected the burglar to be scruffier, more like the sullen young men he sometimes counseled at Juvenile Detention. The young man’s dark brown eyes met his—the gaze was frank, the smile seemed genuine. Still, the strict neatness might place him in a recognizable spectrum of personality disorders.

    You seem lost, Fyodor said—gesturing, with his hand at his side, for Leah to go outside. Foolish protective instinct—she was athletic, probably more formidable in a fight than he was. In fact, young man, you seem to have lost your way right through one of our windows…

    Ah, yes. His mouth twitched. But look what I found for you, Dr. Cheski! He raised the dusty bottle in his hand. It was an old, unlabeled wine bottle. I never used to drink. I wanted to take it up, starting with something old and fine. I want a new life. I desire to do things differently. Live! I bet you didn’t know there was any wine down there.

    Fyodor blinked. Um… in fact… In fact he didn’t think there was any wine in the basement.

    A siren wailed, grew louder—and cut short. Radio voices echoed, heavy boot-steps came up the walk, and the young man, sighing, put the bottle on the floor and walked past Fyodor to open the front door. He waved genially at the policemen.

    Gentlemen, said the young man, I believe you are here for me. I’m told that my name is Roman Carl Boxer.

    * * *

    CARRYING THE DUSTY WINE BOTTLE, FYODOR DESCENDED the basement steps, wondering if this Roman Carl Boxer could have been a patient, someone he’d consulted on, at some point. The face wasn’t familiar, but perhaps he’d been disheveled and heavily acned before. I’m told that my name is Roman Carl Boxer. Interesting way to put it.

    The basement was a box of cracked concrete, smelling of mildew; a little water had leaked into a farther corner. A naked light bulb glowed in the cobwebbed ceiling, bright enough to throw stark shadows from what looked like rodent droppings, off to his left. To the right were his crates of old files, recently stored here—they seemed undisturbed. He saw no wine bottles. He could smell dirt and damp concrete. A few scuffs marked the dust coating the floor.

    Fyodor started to turn back—it was not a pleasant place to be—but he decided to look more closely at the files. There was confidential patient information in those crates. If this kid had gotten into them…

    He crossed to the files, confirmed they seemed undisturbed—then saw the hole in the floor, in the farther corner. A small shiny crowbar, the price sticker still on it, lay close beside the hole. His view of it had been blocked by the crates.

    He crouched by the hole—almost two feet square—and saw that a trapdoor of concrete and wood had been removed to lean against the wall. He could make out a number of dark bottles, down inside it, in wooden slots. Wine bottles.

    One slot was empty. The bottle he’d brought with him fit precisely in that slot.

    * * *

    AWEEK LATER .

    Deal’s done, Fyodor said, with some excitement, as he came into the waiting room. He took off his damp coat, hanging it up, sniffling, his nose stinging from the cold, wet wind. I own the building! Me and the bank do, anyway.

    That’s great! Leah said, the corners of her eyes crinkling with a prim smile. She was hanging a picture on the waiting room wall. It was a print of a Turner seascape: vague, harmless proto-Impressionism in gold and umber and subtle blues; a choice that suggested sophistication, and soothing to psychiatric patients. Still, some psychiatric patients were capable of feeling threatened by anything.

    Leah stepped back from the painting, and nodded.

    Fyodor thought it was hanging just slightly crooked, but he knew it would irritate her if he straightened it—though she’d only show the irritation as a faint flicker around her mouth. Surprising how well he’d gotten to know her, and, at the same time, how impersonal their relationship was. A professional distance was appropriate. But it didn’t feel appropriate somehow, with Leah…

    That police detective called, she said, straightening the painting herself. Asking if we’re going to come to the arraignment for that burglar.

    I’m not inclined to press charges.

    Really? They’ve let him out on bail, you know. He might come back.

    I don’t want to start my new practice here by prosecuting the first mentally ill person I run into. He went to the bay windows and looked out at the wet streets, the barren tree limbs of the gnarled, blackened elm in the front yard. Leafless tree limbs always made him think of nerve endings.

    He hasn’t actually been diagnosed…

    He was confused enough to climb in through a window, ignore everything of value, go down to the basement and dig about.

    Did you have that wine looked at? The stuff he found downstairs?

    Fyodor nodded. Hal checked it out. Italian wine, from the early twentieth century, shipped direct from some vineyard—and not improved with age. Gone quite vinegary, he told me. How had Roman Boxer known the wine was there? It seemed to have been sealed up for decades.

    Something else bothered him about the incident, something he couldn’t quite define, a feeling there was something he should recognize about Roman Boxer… just out of reach.

    Oh—you got approval for limited testing of SEQ10. The letter’s on your desk. There are some regulatory hoops but…

    SEQ10. They’d been waiting almost a year. Things were coming together.

    He turned to face Leah, feeling a sudden rush of warmth for her. It was good to have her on his team. She was always a bit prim, reserved, her wit dry, her feelings controlled. But sometimes…

    And, she said a little reluctantly, going to the waiting room desk, your mom called.

    She passed him the message. Please call. The psycho Psych Tech is at it again.

    His mother: the fly in the ointment, ranting about the psychiatric technician she imagined was persecuting her in the state hospital. But then she was the reason he’d gotten into psychiatry. Her mania, her fits of amnesia. His own analyst had suggested she was also some of the reason he tended to be rather reserved, wound tight—compensating for his mother’s flamboyance. She was flamboyant on the upswings, almost catatonic on the downswings—prone to amnesia. Firm self-control helped him deal with either extreme. And her intervals of amnesia had prompted his interest in SEQ10.

    The doorbell rang, and he went to his office to await the first patient of the day. But his first patient wasn’t the first person to arrive. Instead, Leah ushered in a small middle-aged woman with penciled eyebrows, dark red lipstick, a little too much rouge, her black hair tightly caught up in a bun. She wore a pink slicker, her rose-colored umbrella dripping on the carpet as she said, I know I shouldn’t come without an appointment, Doctor Cheski… Her cadences tripped rapidly, her voice chirpy, the movements of her head, as she looked back and forth between Fyodor and Leah, seemed birdlike. "But he was so insistent—my son Roman. He said I had to see him here or not at all, and then he hung up on me. God knows he’s been a lot of trouble to you already. Has he gotten here yet?"

    Here? Today? Fyodor looked at Leah. She shrugged and shook her head.

    He said he’d be upstairs…

    There was a thump from the ceiling. Squeaking footsteps; brisk pacing, back and forth.

    Leah put a hand to her mouth and laughed nervously. Quite uncharacteristic of her. Oh my gosh, he’s broken into the house again.

    Roman’s mother looked back and forth between them. "Not again! I thought he’d made an appointment! He said he didn’t trust anyone else… He barely knows me, you see…" Her lips trembled.

    Leah’s brows knit. Did you—give him up for adoption?

    Another thump came from above. They all looked at the ceiling. No-o, Mrs. Boxer said, slowly. "No, he… claims to not remember growing up with us. With his own family! I show him photographs—he says they’re ‘sort of familiar.’ But he says it’s like it didn’t happen to him. I don’t really understand what he means. She sighed and went quickly on, He just keeps wandering around Providence—looking for something… but he won’t say what."

    Fyodor knew he should call the police. But when Leah went to the phone, he said, Wait, Leah. Claims to not remember growing up with us. With his own family.

    SEQ10 was a hypnotic drug for treating, among other things, hysterical amnesia.

    Fyodor looked at Mrs. Boxer. She had some very high-quality jewelry; new pumps, sensible but elegant. A rather showy diamond bulked on her wedding ring. She had money, after all. She could pay for therapy. Insurance wouldn’t cover SEQ10.

    Fyodor took a deep breath, and, wiping his clammy palms on his trousers, went up the stairs.

    He found Roman in the guest room right over the office. Roman was sitting on the edge of the four-poster bed, nervously turning a glass of wine in both hands, around and around—he’d put the wine in a water tumbler from the upstairs bathroom.

    Brought your own wine this time, I see, Fyodor said.

    Yes. A California Merlot. Still trying to learn how to drink. Roman smiled apologetically. He wore the same suit as last time. Neat as a pin. Strange sensation, alcohol. After a moment he added, Sorry about the door. No one was here when I came. I needed to get in.

    Fyodor grunted. He planned to rent the room out as an office, and now this guy was damaging it—the door to the outside stairs stood open, the wood about the lock splintered. There was a large screwdriver on the bedside table.

    Why? Fyodor asked. I mean—why the urgency about getting in? Why not make an appointment?

    Roman swirled his wine. I’m… looking for something here. I just—couldn’t wait. I don’t know why.

    * * *

    IT WAS AN EVENING SESSION, AFTER FYODOR WOULD normally have gone home. Roman’s mother had already had the broken door replaced and paid a large advance on the therapy. And Roman was more interesting than most of Fyodor’s patients.

    Leaning back on the leather easy chair in Fyodor’s office, Roman seemed bemused. Occasionally, he smoothed the lines of his jacket.

    Your mother gave me some background on you, Fyodor said. Maybe you can tell me what seems true or untrue to you.

    He read aloud from his notes.

    Roman was twenty-one. An only child, he’d had night terrors until he was nine, with intermittent bedwetting. Father passed on when he was thirteen. They weren’t close. Roman had difficulty keeping friends but was likable, and elderly people loved him. He loved cats, but his mother made him stop adopting them after he accumulated four. One died, and he gave it an elaborate burial ritual. Good student in high school, at first, friends mostly with girls—but no girlfriends. Not terribly interested in sex. Bad last year in high school when some sort of Internet bullying took a more personal form. Reluctant to talk about it. Refused to attend the school. Finished with home schooling, GED. Two years of college, attendance quite patchy. Autodidact for the most part. Tendency to have unusual difficulty with cold weather. No close friends except in books.

    All that sound right to you, Roman? Fyodor asked, getting his laptop into word processing mode.

    Roman looked vaguely about him. "Not very flattering, is it? Sounds like someone I knew—but it doesn’t feel like it happened to me personally. Apparently it’s me."

    Fyodor typed in his laptop, Possible dissociation due to unacceptable self-image.

    But since last year—your memories seem like… you?

    Yes—since last year. All that seems real. I can’t remember anything before that unless somebody reminds me, and then it’s… like remembering an old television episode. Except I can’t really remember those either…

    Roman’s eyes kept wandering to the Victorian fixture hanging from the ceiling. That fixture’s been here a hundred years.

    I would have thought it’s older than that, really, as this house was built in the early nineteenth century, Fyodor said absently, adjusting his laptop to make sure Roman couldn’t see what he was typing.

    No, Roman said firmly. Installed early twentieth century. But it was made in the nineteenth.

    Fyodor made a note: Possible grandiosity? Faux expertise syndrome? Your mother says you feel your name is not Roman. Although she showed you a birth certificate. Do you feel the birth certificate is…

    Is faked, unreal—part of a conspiracy? Roman chuckled. "Not at all! What I said was, I feel my name is not Roman. I answer to it for simplicity’s sake. And as for what my name really is—I truly don’t know. Roman Boxer is correct—and incorrect. But don’t waste your time asking why that is, I don’t have an answer for you."

    And this started when you took a walk on a beach…

    "Yes. Last September. We went to Sandy Point. Myself and… well… Mother. She has a little place at Sandy Point… so I have learned. My real memories start—really, as soon as I arrived on the beach that day. Before that I don’t remember much. She’s prompted a few memories, but… He cleared his throat. Well, I was feeling odd from the moment I stepped onto the sand. He smiled dourly. Not ‘feeling myself.’ And then—it’ll take some telling…"

    Tell me the story.

    Roman brightened. "Now that I enjoy. I’ve got half a dozen notebooks filled with my stories. But this one is true. Very well: It was a fine Indian Summer afternoon. I was in the mood to be alone… this woman who insists she’s my mother—even then, she often put me in that mood… so I went out to Napatree Point. Big sandy spit of land, you know. The sea looked blue, fluffy clouds scudding in the sky, a real postcard picture. Just me and the gulls. Now, I don’t much care for walks by the beach. Rather dislike looking at the unidentifiable things that wash up there. And the smell of the sea—like the smell of some giant animal. I’d rather go to the library. But I keep hearing people talk about how inspirational the sea is. I keep looking to connect with that Big Something out there. So I was walking on the beach, trying to shake the odd feeling of inner dislocation—I did manage to appreciate the way the light comes through the top of the waves and makes them look like blue glass. I shaded my eyes and gazed way out to sea, trying to see all the way to the horizon—and I got this strange feeling that something was looking back at me from out there."

    Fyodor repressed a smile, and typed, Enjoys dramatization.

    All of a sudden I felt like a giddy little kid. Then I had a strange impulse—it just charged up out of my depths. I felt it go right up my spine and into my head, and I was yelling, ‘Hey out there!’ Roman cupped his hands to either side of his mouth, mimicking it. ‘Hey! I’m here!’ I don’t know, I guess I was just being spontaneous, but I felt truly very impish…

    Fyodor typed: Odd diction, archaic vocabulary at times. It comes and goes. Possibly clinically labile? Showing agitation as he tells the story.

    "…and I yelled ‘I’m here, come back!’ and it’s funny how my own voice was echoing in my ears and a response just came into my head from nowhere: They tolled—but from the sunless tides that pour… And I yelled that phrase out loud! I’m not sure why. But I’ll never forget it."

    Auditory hallucination, Fyodor typed. Feelings of compulsion.

    Roman squirmed in his chair, licked his lips, went on. It was a curious little thing to think—like an unfinished line of poetry, right?

    Use of antiquated expressions comes and goes: e.g., curious. Affectation?

    "And as soon as I said it I heard gigantic big bells ringing, like the biggest church bells you ever heard—and it sounded like they were coming from under the sea! A little muffled, and watery, but still powerful. It got louder and louder, the sound was so loud, it hurt my head, like I was getting slapped with each clang of the bell, and each time it rang it was as if the sea, the stretch of the sea in front of me, got a little darker, and pretty soon it just went black—the whole sea had turned black…"

    Hallucinogenic episodes, possible seizure—drug use?—

    …And no, I don’t use drugs, doctor! I can see you thinking it! He smiled nervously, straightening his tie. Never have got into drugs! Oh fine, a few puffs on a bong once or twice—barely felt it.

    Fyodor cleared his throat—strangely congested, it was difficult to speak at first—and asked, This vision of the sea turning black—did you fall down during it? Lose control of your limbs?

    "No! Well… I didn’t fall. Roman licked his lips, sitting up straight, animated with excitement. It was as if I was paralyzed by what I was seeing. The blackness sucking up the ocean was holding me fast, you see. But it was really not so much that the sea was turning black—it was that the sea was gone, and it was replaced by a… a night sky! A dark sky full of stars! I was looking down into the sea, but in some other way I was gazing up into this night sky! My stomach flip-flopped, I can tell you! I saw constellations you never heard of, twinkling in the sea—galaxies in the sea!—and one big yellow star caught my eye. It seemed to grow bigger, and bigger, and it got closer—till it filled up my vision. Then, silhouetted on it, was this black ball… a planet! I rushed closer to it—I could see down into its atmosphere. I saw warped buildings, you could hardly believe they were able to stand up, they seemed so crooked, and cracked domes, and pale things without faces flying over them—and I thought, that is the world called… He shook his head, lips twisted. Something like… Yegget? Only not that. I can’t remember the name precisely. Roman shrugged, spread his hands, and then laughed. I know how it sounds. Anyway—I was gazing at this planet from above and I heard this… this sizzling sound. Then there was a flash of light—and I was back on the beach. I felt a little dizzy, sat down for awhile, kept trying to remember how I’d gotten to that beach. Could not remember, not then. The memory of what I’d seen in the sea, the black sky—that was vivid. And what was before that? Arriving at the beach. Notions of escaping from some bothersome person."

    Nothing before then?

    "An image. A place: I was lying in a small bed, in a white room, with this sweet little nurse holding my hand. Remembering it, I had a yearning, a longing for that bed, that nurse—that white room. For the comfort of it. I could almost hear her speak.

    "Then, on the beach, I felt this scary buzzing in my pocket! I thought I had a snake in there, and I was clawing at it, and then… something fell out. This shiny, silvery, petite machine fell onto the ground. It was buzzing and shaking in the sand like it was mad. I could see it was some kind of instrument—a device. It seemed strange and familiar, both at the same time, right? So I had to think about how to make it work and I opened it and I heard this tiny voice saying, ‘Roman, Roman are you there?’ It was the… it was my mother. He stared into the distance. His voice trailed off. My mother."

    But you didn’t recognize the thing as a cell phone?

    "After she spoke, I remembered—but it was like something from a science-fiction movie I’d seen. Star Trek. I couldn’t recall buying the thing."

    Fyodor made a few notes and nodded. And since then—the persistent long-term memory issues, your own name seeming unfamiliar. And you had feelings of restlessness?

    Restlessness. An inner… goading. Roman settled back in the chair, staring up at the antique light fixture. I would have trouble sleeping. I’d go out before dawn for these long rambles… in the old section of Providence—with its mellow, ancient life, the skyline of old roofs, Georgian steeples…

    Archaic affectations cropping up more frequently as patient reminisces.

    You said you felt like you were looking for something—?

    Correct. And I didn’t know what. Just this feeling of ‘It’s right around the next corner, or maybe around the next one’ and so on. Till one day—I was there! I was standing in front of this house, looking at your sign. It was closed—I took a cab to a Target store, just opening for the day. I bought a little crowbar. Went back to the house—the rest is history. I still don’t know exactly what it is about this house. You just bought the place, right? How’d you find it, doc?

    Oh, my mother suggested it to me, actually. She was in real estate before she… Fyodor broke off. Not good to talk about personal matters with a patient. So—anything else? We’re about out of time.

    "Your mother! She was committed, right? Roman grinned mischievously. The inspiration for your career! And you an only child, too, like me—imagine that!"

    Fyodor felt a chill. Uh—exactly how—

    Don’t get spooked, doc, Roman chuckled. It’s the Internet. I googled you! The paper you wrote for the Rhode Island Psychiatric Association—it’s online. Tough childhood with sick mother led you to want to understand mental illness…

    Fyodor kept his expression blank. It annoyed him when a patient tried to turn the tables on him. Okay. Well. Let’s digest all this. He saved his notes and closed his laptop.

    No therapeutic advice for me, Doctor Cheski?

    Yes. Something behavioral. Don’t commit any more burglaries.

    Roman came out with a harsh laugh at that.

    * * *

    ROMAN BOXER WENT HOME WITH THE WOMAN HE doubted was his mother. Fyodor watched through a window as they got into her shiny black Lincoln.

    An unstable young man. Perhaps a dangerous young man—researching his doctor’s background, breaking into his office… twice. He should not be seen here…

    Roman refused to be committed. "I won’t take those horrible psychiatric meds. I don’t wish to be a zombie. I’ll just run off, end up back here again. This is the place. It took me a long time, wandering around Providence, to find it. I know, Mom says I never lived here. But I was happy here once. I have to get

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