100 Ways To Annoy Your Guests

100 Ways to Annoy Your Guests

What every hotelier needs to avoid

Peter J Venison CVO

To my four children, Sue, Simon, Sarah-Kate and Jonathan, of whom I am all immensely proud.

Contents

Title Page

Dedication

Preface

A hundred things that will definitely annoy your guests

Chapter One: The Arrival

1. Make it hard to find

2. Outer appearance

3. Registration

4. Finding your room

5. Who gets the tip?

6. Key cards

7. Explaining the room features

8. Where is my luggage?

Chapter Two: The Hotel Room

1. The Bed

2. The Closet

3. The Safe

4. The furniture

5. The air conditioning

6. The in-room bar

7. The lighting

8. The noise

9. The plug-ins

10. The telephone

11. The curtains.

12. Printed material

Chapter Three: The Bathroom

1. First impression

2. Maxing out the space

3. The shower and tub

4. The towels

5. The amenities

6. The john or WC

7. Lighting

Chapter Four: Services to the Room

1. Room service

2. Maid service

3. Maintenance service

4. Laundry service

Chapter Five: The Lobby and Other Public Areas

1. The design

2. The concierge

3. The hotel shop

4. The banquet rooms

5. The breakfast room

6. The restaurant

7. The coffee shop

8. The Bar

9. The public toilets

10. The gardens and grounds

11. Garage and parking

12. The pool

13. The beach

14. Uniforms

15. Cleanliness

Chapter Six: Design and Construction

Chapter Seven: Solutions

1. Stay in your own hotel

2. Manage by walking (or riding) around

3. Meet your guests

Appendix One: Can’t Get ‘No Satisfaction’

Appendix Two: Conversation with Room Service

Appendix Three: Free Soap

Also by Peter Venison

Copyright

Preface

For most of my working life I was involved in the management of hotels or the management of managers managing hotels. Much of this work involved the practicalities of keeping operations working smoothly and profitably. From an operational point of view, this involved the management of people, the supply and control of goods and materials, the control of the costs, the accounting and cash management, the return on investment, the promotion and advertising of the enterprise, the design and construction of the facilities and so on. I was concerned about getting the best possible performance out of the personnel and I wanted to be running a company for whom people liked to work. Naturally, I was concerned about the product we were offering and realised that, without satisfying our guests, there would be no business.

However, in retrospect, I spent far more time on managing the enterprise than experiencing its end result, i.e. the service and value that we offered. Since my retirement I have moved my focus from managing hotels to experiencing them. This experience has often been amazing, but, more often than not, has been disappointing. I have become a hotel guest rather than a hotel manager and this booklet is written from that standpoint, even though its prime audience will be hotel managers and students and teachers in the hospitality industry. I have not attempted to explore how to get things done in any depth; I have simply tried to highlight why they need doing.

To manage a hotel does not require a brilliant mind nor an amazing academic brain. It is not a science, nor does it require outstanding artistic ability. It does require a good deal of common sense and an ability to organise, to lead, to look and see. It is not for the lazy, although its comfortable surroundings can lead to this. It requires constant vigilance; otherwise the high standards set will slip away. Your customers might notice this before you do.

There are so many points of contact between members of hotel staff and the customer; so many places where things can go well or badly. But, to correct the annoyances and irritations heaped upon the hotel guest, we first need to recognise them. This book attempts to do just that; it does not go into the detail of how they are eliminated, but, taken individually, with the exception of a few that have been built into the hardware, each and every one of them can be easily eradicated with a little thought and effort. The first step for any hotel manager in this regard is to recognise that these simple deficiencies do exist and, hopefully, this little book will be a helpful aid in their eradication.

A hundred things that will definitely annoy your guests

Unclear or misleading directional instructions

Badly lit, sited and unclear signage

Confusing welcome signage at airport

Uncomfortable, cramped, transfer vehicle

Untidy, unkempt, and potholed driveway

Unsightly view of staff quarters, loading bays, administration office en route to the hotel entrance

Priority parking spaces for hotel management

Long lines at check-in desk

Too much form filling at check in

Disinterested receptionists

Failure to recognise or acknowledge a returning guest

An untidy dumping ground behind front desk

Poor directions to rooms

Illegible, badly lit elevator buttons and directional signs

Staff chasing tips

Faulty room key cards

Slow luggage delivery

Insufficient in-room luggage storage space and no luggage rack

Uncomfortable beds…

… and uncomfortable pillows

Badly made beds

Ineffective turn down service

‘No steal’ clothes hangers and unusable hanging rails

Insufficient space or light in closets

Complicated safe instructions

Badly positioned, dark, in-room safes

Poor/expensive laundry service

Room furniture not fit for use

Inadequate drawer space

Useless bedside tables

Unreadable air conditioning controls

Noisy air conditioner

Blasting air conditioning

Empty minibars

Overpriced minibars

Noisy minibars

Complicated room lighting controls

Excess of LED lights at night

Poor bed reading lights

Complicated TV controls

Inadequate television channels

Noisy neighbours/ thin walls

Too much corridor noise

Inadequate, awkwardly sited electrical sockets

Poor Wi-Fi connections and overcharging

Complicated telephone systems

Useless telephone operational instructions

Fast track service that isn’t

Complicated shower controls

Slippery tub showers

Inadequate bathroom lighting

Inadequate bathroom shelf space

Strange bathroom layouts

Inadequate or inappropriate in room/bathroom glasses

Uncontrollable and variable water temperature

Dirt under vanity shelves or behind doors

Lack of facecloths

Unreadable amenities

Unopenable soap

Toilet paper in unreachable spot

Room service trays in corridors for too long

Inappropriate and intrusive music

Untidy lobbies

Noisy lobbies

Snooty concierges

Inappropriate range of stock in shop

Overpricing in shop

Failure to control opening times of hotel shops

Banquet room left untidy

Poorly lit banquet/ meeting rooms

Noisy banquet rooms

Unsociable banquet tables

Ill-equipped breakfast buffets

Pre-cooked, tired looking, buffet food

Not enough fresh produce on buffet

Lack of management presence at breakfast

Inadequate supply of crockery/cutlery at breakfast

Traffic jam at the toast and coffee machines

Poor restaurant table lay-outs

Repetitive resort menus

Inflexible menu ordering policy

Hot food that is not

Overpriced wine lists

No space in restaurant for hotel guests

No nibbles at the bar

Unsociable furniture lay out in bar

Unfriendly barman

Untidy gardens and grounds

Badly lit walkways

Unwashed vehicles

Overpriced car parks

Unsupervised pool areas

Insufficient pool towels

Insufficient pool loungers

Dirty beach

Beach vendors

Evening turndown service at 2 pm

Impatient knocking at the door

Unavailable or unseen hotel manager

Unavailable or unseen assistant manager

It was almost impossible to find the place. I had driven two hundred miles and I was tired. There were no signs to tell me where the entrance was and my satnav took me into the supermarket car park. I was very irate when I finally found it.

– MR DONALD LOSTIT, MANCHESTER, UK

There were potholes all the way up the driveway. Can you believe that? A five-star hotel with a driveway like the I.95.

– JIMMY CARTER, QUEENS, NY

There was no place to park, but I noticed that the Manager had a special place right next to the front door. That doesn’t seem right, does it?

– CLIVE NEAT, PERTH, AUSTRALIA

I must have stayed in this hotel twenty times. I am more regular than the personnel at the front desk. That’s probably why they always ask me if I’ve stayed before. You would think someone would teach them to google. I really don’t know why I stay here because it certainly doesn’t feel like home.

– MR STEVE LONGROAD, AUSTIN, TEXAS

It’s time you changed your key card system. Every time I get to my room the thing gives me the red light, so I have to go all the way back to the lobby to get another one. Sometimes it doesn’t work twice in a row. It is very annoying and if you don’t fix it, I am going to give the red light to you.

– ‘FRUSTRATED’, TEL AVIV

Chapter One

The Arrival

The arrival experience at a hotel, although seemingly routine, can cause stress levels to rise. Have I come to the right place? I hope they still have my reservation. Where will I park? Even frequent travellers are on alert during the arrival process. First impressions are extremely important. Arriving guests have a very high level of expectancy. For frequent users it is like coming to a second home – but only if they are given a welcome homecoming. For many guests, going to a hotel can be a special occasion, one they have been looking forward to or saved up for. They will have high hopes; the arrival experience is not the place to dash those. The more you upset the guest on arrival, the harder you will have to work at recovery. Here are some ways you can annoy and disappoint your guests before they have even reached their room.

1. Make it hard to find

Just getting to a hotel can be a frustrating experience. By definition most hotel guests are from out of town and, therefore, in unfamiliar territory. You, the Manager, of course, know exactly where your hotel is located, but your guests, particularly