Growing Old in Silence

GROWING OLD IN SILENCE

GAYLENE BECKER

University of California Press

Berkeley / Los Angeles / London

University of California Press

Berkeley and Los Angeles, California

University of California Press, Ltd.

London, England

©1980

The Regents of the University of California

First Paperback Printing 1983

ISBN 0-520-05058-4

Printed in the United States of America

123456789

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

Becker, Gaylene.

Growing old in silence.

Bibliography: p.

Includes index.

1. Aged, Deaf. 2. Aging. I. Title.

HV2395.B4 362.4'2'0880565 79-63548

For Roger

Contents

Contents

Preface

I Entering the Community

II A Profile of the Aged Deaf

III The Emergence of Community

IV Deafness: Crucible of Identity

V Family Life

VI The Basis of Social Organization

VII Social Relationships

VIII Social Processes

IX Facing Death

X Adaptation to Old Age

XI Aging in American Life: Implications of Studying the Aged Deaf

Glossary

Bibliography

Index

Preface

During the process of collecting information for a research project in community mental health, I was invited to attend the organizational meeting of a group of elderly deaf people, sponsored by a local agency. I knew little sign language at that time, but I decided to go, out of curiosity. It was a moving experience. Although I understood little of what was actually said that day, the shouts of joy and laughter as a hundred people swarmed into the room and were reunited with each other were easy for me to interpret.

Long after the meeting was over, the spectacle that I had witnessed remained in my mind. I began to think about the meaning'of growing old, about the kinds of life experiences that people have, and about how these experiences affect old age. In particular, I began to ask myself questions. How were these deaf individuals different from my own hearing grandparents and from other aged persons? How were they the same? But most of all, I wondered how they could appear to function so well in the face of such a severe disability. My interest captured, I ultimately returned to the scene of my first encounter to learn more.

I received considerable support from several federal agencies during the research and writing of the manuscript: National Institute on Aging grant AG-00022 (formerly HD-00238, National Institute of Child Health and Human Development), and Administration on Aging Training Grant 90-A-1195(01). Chapter eleven was written during the time I was funded by a National Science Foundation Postdoctoral Fellowship, SM177—12424. The funding has played an important role in the completion of this study, and I hope the federal government will continue to lend its support to social science research.

This study was an exercise in applied anthropology. Its purpose was to provide anthropological perspectives on the aged deaf for practitioners who provide services to disabled populations, and consequently many individuals have participated in this process. I am especially indebted to Margaret Clark who encouraged me to study the aged deaf. The opportunity to work with her and to benefit from her brilliant insights into human behavior has been invaluable to me. I am grateful to Joan Ablon, an inspired teacher, who has imparted her philosophy about applied anthropology to me over the years and has given me the training to carry out such a study. George Foster has made thoughtful comments and suggestions that have been extremely valuable during the writing process. In addition, I want to thank Clifford Barnett, Sharon Kaufman, and James Spradley for their criticisms and suggestions.

A number of professionals who work with the deaf community have shared their insights about deafness with me, and a few have read and criticized portions of this work. I especially want to thank Rhoda Clark, Gay Nadler, Jacqueline Hynes Peterson, and Connie Yannacone. I am grateful to John Darby of the Hearing Society of San Francisco for introducing me to the aged deaf, and to Kathryn P. Meadow and Hilde S. Schlesinger of the University of California Center on Deafness for giving me access to classes and materials related to deafness. My special thanks go to Kristine Bertelsen, who criticized the manuscript, made editorial suggestions, and typed most of it as well.

Roger Van Craeynest has been a source of continual support over the years as this study evolved. His understanding of the complexities of deafness and its anthropological implications has been invaluable, as have his criticisms and ideas throughout the research and writing.

Most of all, I wish to thank the older members of the deaf community. The anthropologist who receives the full cooperation of the people he or she studies is fortunate indeed. People generously gave me their time and their friendship, and I am grateful for their willingness to teach me their language and introduce me to their culture. Naturally, I alone am responsible for the content and interpretations found in the text.

Many informants expressed a wish that their individual life experiences might have some relevance for future generations of deaf people. I hope that they will view my interpretation of those experiences as consistent with that goal

I

Entering the Community

Singer raised his hands timidly and began to speak. His strong, skilled fingers shaped the signs with loving precision. He spoke of the cold and of the long months alone. He mentioned old memories, the cat that had died, the store, the place where he lived. At each pause Antonapoulos nodded graciously. … Eagerly Singer leaned closer. …

CARSON MCCULLERS, The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter (1940:187-188)

I first saw Stella Jackson at a special workshop for older deaf people. ¹ She immediately caught my eye as she made her way through a crowded room, pausing to greet each person enthusiastically. An attractive seventy-year-old woman, Mrs. Jack- son was wearing a checked shirtwaist dress with a big bow tie. She was small and slender, with short gray hair, curled in a casual style. She radiated vitality and warmth; people flocked around her, hugging her and exchanging small talk with her. As I watched Mrs. Jackson and her friends I saw none of the symptoms of self-hatred, denial, and depression so commonly described in the gerontological literature.

Many hearing people in the general population are vigorous and well-adapted in old age. Perhaps the deaf are not more well-adjusted than their hearing contemporaries. But most hearing people have not been excluded from major American institutions, such as public schools, over the life-span, as have the deaf. It seemed logical to me that lifelong exclusion would have a negative influence on adjustment to life, and it came as a surprise when I observed the high degree of social intactness among these aging deaf people.

When I introduced myself to Mrs. Jackson she was very friendly. She made every effort to communicate with me, slowing down the speed of her signs and finger-spelling, and articulating carefully. She was interested in learning about me as a student, and she established me in relation to her own social world by asking me about my sign language teachers and about mutual acquaintances. She was open to talking about herself too, and over the course of the following year she told me much about her life.

Mrs. Jackson’s adjustment to old age as a deaf person is exemplary. In fact, Mrs. Jackson’s warm social personality struck me from the beginning of our acquaintance. Yet her life had not been a happy and painless one. As I talked with her I was struck repeatedly by the ways in which she had learned to deal with her deafness.

Mrs. Jackson slowly and painfully learned to cope with her deafness, beginning in her earliest years. Being deaf has been hard, she says. Her mother never learned sign language and thus could not communicate with her except through gestures and writing. This was particularly difficult for her in a family that, as she says, always put a lot of stock in family togetherness … because I’m deaf I have always been an outsider.²

It was as an outsider that she left home when she was five years old to attend a state school for the deaf. There she discovered a new world. For the first time she learned the signs for words. She could communicate not only with the teacher but with other children as well. Predictably, Mrs. Jackson loved school and hated to go home in the summertime, where silence once again closed in around her.

For over twelve years Mrs. Jackson stayed in the state school. The environment, which had initially seemed so exciting, grew restricting. Curious about the outside world, she struck out on her own when she was seventeen, eager to experience independence.

Lacking job skills, Mrs. Jackson had a hard time finding work. When she finally did get a job in a factory, she was fortunate to find another deaf woman, Mabel Griggs, working there. Mabel’s presence made the grueling work of the assembly line bearable. They became close friends, a relationship that has continued to the present.

It was an exciting time of life, says Mrs. Jackson, making my own money, doing what I wanted. She and Mabel shared an apartment, and on the weekends they went to the deaf club, to picnics, and to sports events sponsored by different groups in the deaf community. Mrs. Jackson met her husbandto-be at one of these picnics some five years after leaving school. He had recently arrived from the Midwest. Like Mrs. Jackson, he had gone to a state school for the deaf. Six months later they were married.

At first, married life was enjoyable. They had plenty of friends and led a busy social life. Mrs. Jackson had to stop working when their first child was born, but they could not live on her husband’s salary (he was a printer’s apprentice), so she had to go back to work at the factory. It seemed like overnight we started to fight about everything. We couldn’t get along. But they continued to live together, Mrs. Jackson always hoping things would get better. Being deaf, I didn’t know the first thing about getting a divorce. I didn’t see any way out.

Soon after their second child was born her husband was laid off, and the economic strain brought a sudden end to their married life. They split up, Mrs. Jackson taking her two hearing children home for her mother to take care of, and going back to the factory to earn money for their support. Her husband left the area in search of work, and her family eventually helped her obtain a divorce. That was a bad time. When I was young, divorce was not common, and some of the people in the deaf community looked down on me. My kids didn’t like it much either, but I think they understand better now that they're grown. My relationship with my son is better. Now he does occasional interpreting, [and] we have more to talk about.

One Saturday evening at the deaf club a visitor walked in, a deaf man from New York who was moving to San Francisco. He and Mrs. Jackson got along from the start. Fifteen years had passed since her divorce. Shortly after they met they were married. The tenor of Mrs. Jackson’s life changed dramatically with her remarriage. For the first time since she left school money ceased to be a source of stress. Her second husband was a glazier with a comfortable income. Oh, what a relief! I was finally able to leave that awful factory. Since that time she has enjoyed being a housewife.

Mr. Jackson has considerable prestige in the community. Mrs. Jackson, after many years as a divorcee, enjoys the social standing she has acquired as a respectably married woman. The end of her drudgery and her heightened status in the community have enhanced her relationship with her husband. They do everything together except watch television. Television is really important to Mrs. Jackson because it is her link with the outside world. She watches all captioned TV programs, and as these programs have increased in number they have begun to conflict with her husband’s sports viewing. Finally, he went out and bought her a TV of her own. She is very happy about it. One of the hardest things about being deaf is not knowing what’s going on in the world. I felt shut out for so long. According to her, her ideal day includes staying home and reading, knitting, and watching television. Some deaf go to socials all the time, but twice a week is enough for me.

Mr. and Mrs. Jackson are active in the social life of their peer group. They no longer go to the deaf club, because they do not like to go out at night. Instead, they go to senior citizen groups