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    A Big Black Castle with Silver Space Ships
    A Big Black Castle with Silver Space Ships
    A Big Black Castle with Silver Space Ships
    Ebook72 pages54 minutes

    A Big Black Castle with Silver Space Ships

    By Thomas Zoltan Ban

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    About this ebook

    Do you want to evolve to the next stage in human development? Then read this book!

    With a wry wit like that of Oscar Wilde, a choppy style like that of Kurt Vonnegut, and a blatant candor like that of Hugh Hefner; This book reveals how reality is nothing more than a big mathematical chemical reaction of perfections, principles, identities,

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBook Vine Press
    Release dateFeb 17, 2023
    ISBN9781960063380
    A Big Black Castle with Silver Space Ships
    Author

    Thomas Zoltan Ban

    Tom is an ex-drug addict, with extensive experience in suffering and misery, as a result of his addiction. He is over one year clean and sober, and his autobiography offers advice and hope to those suffering from substance abuse.

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      Book preview

      A Big Black Castle with Silver Space Ships - Thomas Zoltan Ban

      Contents

      Introduction

      No way home

      The adventures of a paranoid schizophrenic

      Orange juice on my mudflat

      Sunrise in Hell

      Ring of Gold

      Friendliness is still king

      The Enchanted Castle

      The Enchanted Castle

      Biped purpose

      King for a day

      The secret of the kittens with the mittens

      Hello

      The baby ocelot

      Dreams

      Epilogue

      Introduction

      Hi, my name’s Tom. I’m not really supposed to be here tonight because I’m really a very serious person. Are there any Eskimos in the audience tonight? No? Well, I’m not going to tell that joke tonight anyway because man are those Eskimos ever tough! I mean they live in snow forts in the Arctic and carry harpoons and eat raw seal meat all day long.

      Even the Polar bears are afraid of them. Has anyone ever heard of a Polar bear eating an Eskimo? If they did, all of the Eskimos would be gone by now. After all, the Eskimos have been in their winter wasteland ever since the Chinese migrated to North America across the land bridge between Russia and Alaska, so long ago.

      I’ll bet you didn’t know that all humans are no further apart than 50th cousin. It’s true!…

      Back when dinosaurs were becoming extinct, tiny lizards evolved into mice, who evolved into squirrels, who evolved into lemurs, who evolved into monkeys, who evolved into baboons, who evolved into chimps, who evolved into gorillas, who evolved into Neanderthal men, who evolved into Cro-Magnon men, who evolved into Ethiopian Negroes, who evolved into Egyptians, who evolved into East Indians, who evolved into Arabs, who evolved into Jews, who evolved into Europeans, who evolved into Ukrainians, who evolved into Russians, who evolved into Chinese, who evolved into Eskimos, who evolved into North American Indians, who evolved into Mayans, Aztecs, and Incas, who evolved into life’s highest form…

      South American cocaine traffickers.

      Actually, this book is about my preoccupation with the concept of Hell and how friendliness and variety may save us from it.

      The names of the people in the following autobiography have been changed to protect the innocent.

      No way home

      The adventures of a paranoid schizophrenic

      When I was about three years old, I was just starting to develop my memory line. One of my earliest memories, was when I was sitting in my bed. I was very cute looking, and I thought this was to be expected. It was, after all, a small consolation to be granted physical beauty, after being hauled out of the murk of nothingness where I was safely asleep, and no harm could come to me, only to be born into a world where serious pain was inevitable.

      I even thought it was possible, that with such a beautiful body, any injury to it serious enough to cause death, would result in a pain so bad that it would last forever; in other words, I would go to hell!

      I then thought that this was nonsense. I was too lovable to go to hell, and besides, I knew that death was only the return to an everlasting, peaceful sleep, from whence I came. That was the rules, when you die, you snooze again…my Dad would see to that.

      I turned my thoughts to pleasanter things; I noticed beside me on the bed a plush toy penguin. I thought, with delight, Hurray! This must be Love showing up to greet me to the world. I grabbed the fuzzy toy penguin, and started squeezing it in a hug.

      Something was wrong. The penguin wasn’t reacting. I flung it aside in a disgusted mood. I thought, Love’s no good. It’s only one way. Then I lay down, and stretched my feet out and fell immediately asleep.

      Allow me to digress a moment, to tell you a little about my parents…

      My Dad went to war on the side of Germany. It wasn’t his fault that Germany forcefully took over my Dad’s homeland, Hungary, and drafted my Dad to fight for the Nazis.

      Luckily my Dad was captured, by the French, on his first mission. The French put him in a P.O.W. camp, and fed him nothing but onions boiled in water. My Dad grew so thin, he should have died from malnutrition. He was also forced to scrub the barracks floor with a toothbrush. My Dad has never killed anyone.

      My mother was only four years old, when Germany took over Hungary (my mother’s homeland too), and a piece of German shrapnel found it’s way into her back, during a German military show of force. It wasn’t until four years later, when

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