Allodynia
By Nisa Malli
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About this ebook
Nisa Malli
Nisa Malli is a writer and a researcher, born in Winnipeg and currently living in Toronto. She holds a BFA in Creative Writing from the University of Victoria and has completed residencies at the Banff Centre and Artscape Gibraltar Point. Her first chapbook, Remitting (Baseline Press), won the bpNichol Prize and her work has been nominated for a Rhysling Award and the Best of the Net Anthology.
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Allodynia - Nisa Malli
Pain Log
Pain Log
A wasp caught between screen doors // soaped eyes // permanently pulled hair // skinned everything but knees // what if a sunburn but inside // limbs the opposite of ambidextrous // pills forgotten then taken // taken then doubled // then forgotten // the bed // aflame the morning after // overextending // why must I be such a stubborn cannonball // barrelling despite myself?
What You Have Heard Is True
It will be easier if you sit
outside yourself feet
dangling off the diving board
in the next room. In the instruction
manual for what
to do in case
of fire you are the stick figure
firmly closing doors
to keep the flames
from razing
the whole house. Let yourself be
the aura at a seance the half-gauzed
after-image of light. The brain
knows how to fight
diplopia by suppressing
one eye even
divided it will find you
and you are well
versed in the sleight
of hand needed to contain
your own sundering.
L’Hôpital Notre-Dame
The angels of the triage station know you
are waiting patiently to be admitted
into their sanctum. They won’t judge you for slumping
in the plastic waiting room chairs meant to hold one body at a time
that doesn’t need holding up, for wearing nail polish that dulls
the pulse oximeter suckling your finger, for mispronouncing
the names of your possible causes. Sweet Miracle, they know
you are a medical mystery, permitted to plead
your case here many times over. Ahead of you: an axe-split
kneecap, arrhythmias, the worst half of a bar fight,
food poisoning, a suicide risk, second degree burns.
The waiting room is eternal and atemporal. You have always
been here. They have always been here. Here, everyone is always
in the middle of an emergency, neither