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    Broken and Abused: The Imprisoned Mind
    Broken and Abused: The Imprisoned Mind
    Broken and Abused: The Imprisoned Mind
    Ebook91 pages1 hour

    Broken and Abused: The Imprisoned Mind

    By Lena Ma

    ()

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    About this ebook

    She had it all. A thriving career, a loving fiancé, and the respect of everyone she encountered. Her endless years of searching for true love finally came to an end when she met a man she believed was too good to be true. He seduced her, and his charisma put her under his spell. However, soon into the relationship, he changed. He commits unspeakable acts of abuse and infidelity that force her to blame herself and plead for forgiveness. The more abusive he is, the more obsessive she becomes, eventually leading her life to a perpetual downfall. Will she be able to escape her relationship from hell, or will this become her eventual demise?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLena Ma Publishing
    Release dateJan 31, 2020
    ISBN9781734390377
    Broken and Abused: The Imprisoned Mind
    Author

    Lena Ma

    The world is a dark and destructive place, and the mind is constantly flawed. Through personal traumatic and emotional experiences, such as domestic abuse, infidelity, and hospital-ridden adventures, Lena Ma brings her stories to life by exhibiting raw emotions that plague, not just her, but many others living in this world. "Broken & Abused: The Imprisoned Mind" brings out the painful experiences she encountered while living with a man with Asperger's, a love that was never meant to flourish. "Shamefully Vanished: A Memoir of a Girl Out of Control" documents her years under the grasps of a debilitating eating disorder that robbed her from nearly six years of her life. In one of her most recent stories, "#obsessed: Instagram Destroys Humanity", she explores deep into the dark sides of social media, influencers, and how the Internet is far from what it seems. Her stories come with dark, twisted scenes that reflect the horrors of reality. Happy endings are a thing of the past while the pain of disturbing reality shines. As an aspiring author, Lena hopes to make a difference in the lives of others by exposing the truths of psychological warfare and the manipulation of the modern world.

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      Book preview

      Broken and Abused - Lena Ma

      Foreword

      Love.

      We all want love.

      We all yearn for the affection that comes with being in love.

      We all desire the attention that comes with being in a relationship.

      We all envision having someone to call forever and someone to rely on for unconditional support.

      We experience falling in love as a feeling of euphoria, an experience that leaves us breathless and on edge.

      However, with love, comes intrapsychic battles.

      Perpetual war with our own minds.

      Fighting to desperately maintain a grasp on a transient emotion.

      Struggling to accept failure even when we have been defeated.

      Holding onto lust even when love ceases and when infatuation destroys us.

      Falsely believing that deceit and manipulation represent strength and willpower.

      Displaying carefully constructed masks over true personalities.

      Crying out for help in silence.

      Unnoticed.

      Unseen.

      Hidden.

      Gone.

      Prologue

      She is a young girl.

      Kind-hearted.

      Thoughtful.

      Compassionate.

      Honest and Outspoken.

      Always offering a helping hand.

      Always sacrificing herself for others.

      Never asking for favors in return.

      Her life revolves around the demands and pleasures of others.

      She is respected.

      Admired.

      She climbs to the top of the success ladder in her personal life journey.

      She is confident.

      She shines self-love.

      She accepts herself and others, and she seeks to find someone who accepts her in return.

      She wants love.

      All she ever wants in life is love.

      She has all the qualities to be the perfect girlfriend.

      She has all the qualities any man would want.

      Why is she still alone?

      Why is she still dreaming about a partner rather than being with one?

      Why is she still alone?

      Will anyone love her?

      Can anyone love her?

      What is wrong with her?

      Is she less attractive than she thinks?

      Is she less intelligent than she believes?

      Is she so severely flawed that everyone who encounters her eventually flees?

      Is she meant to be alone forever?

      She believes she will never find someone.

      She believes she will never find love.

      She believes that if she does not change, she will die alone.

      She believes that she is unlovable.

      She must take action.

      Remove the face everyone is repulsed by and replace it with a more attractive one.

      Hide the personality that scares men away and replace it with one that lures them in.

      She must change.

      Change every part of who she is if she ever wants to be loved.

      Change.

      Change.

      CHANGE.

      Trapped

      Drip.

      Drip.

      Drip.

      The liquid from her face fastidiously drips, drop by drop, onto a puddle in front of her.

      Blink.

      Blink.

      Blink.

      She opens and closes her eyes as she stares toward the damp, cold ground beneath her.

      Darkness consumes her.

      She sniffles.

      A single tear flows down the bridge of her perfectly constructed nose and drips off the tip.

      Drip.

      She blinks again.

      Blink.

      Blink.

      Blink.

      ‘Where am I?’ she wonders.

      Silence.

      Still.

      The air around her is quiet.

      Her breath feels soft as she slowly inhales and exhales.

      Where am I? she whispers softly.

      Silence.

      Hello!? Is anybody there? she shouts out into her surroundings.

      Silence.

      No response.

      Still.

      She sits in complete darkness, where she cannot even see her own two hands. She is not sure whether she should be scared or confused, whether she should be sad or angry.

      She blinks again.

      Blink.

      Blink.

      Blink.

      This time, her eyes feel dry, but her face feels damp.

      What the hell? she whispers, softly again, to herself.

      She runs the fingers of her right hand across her eyes.

      Nothing.

      No tears.

      Dry.

      She runs the fingers of her right hand across her left cheek.

      It feels wet.

      Not thin like water, however, but dense and thick.

      ‘What the hell can this be?’ she wonders, confused, yet not afraid.

      She brings the index finger of her right hand up to her nostrils and takes a whiff, hoping she can distinguish the mysterious substance on her face by its scent. It smells unusual. Familiar, but strange. For the life of her, she cannot identify this aroma.

      She brings the same finger toward her mouth, her lips chapped and scabbed. Anxious, she sticks out the tip of her tongue and cautiously licks her finger.

      Blood.

      She tastes blood.

      She has blood on her finger.

      She has blood dripping down her face.

      Did I cut myself? she asks herself, shuddering.

      She does not feel pain. She does not feel injured. Yet, blood continues to run down her face, drop by drop.

      Drip.

      Drip.

      Drip.

      She feels around this time with the fingers from both hands for cuts, bruises, or scars on her face.

      Nothing.

      ‘Where the hell is this blood coming from?’ she wonders.

      Now she feels petrified.

      Her face is mysteriously bleeding, and she is sitting in complete darkness with no one else around.

      I have to get out of here! she whispers heavily to herself, trembling and shaking.

      She attempts to stand up, only to smash her head against a hard surface above her, pushing her back onto the damp, cold ground.

      FUCK! she cries out.

      She attempts to crawl forward, only to strike her skull against another hard surface.

      SON OF A BITCH! she cries out again.

      To avoid the misfortune of colliding her head into another hard surface, she reaches both arms out and feels the environment around her. She is surrounded by nothing but the same hard surface on all sides. Like some sort of room.

      What the FUCK is going on?! she screams.

      She moves her hands around, feeling for a possible doorknob or a handle she can hopefully grasp onto and escape.

      There has to be a door. It’s a room. All rooms have to have doors, she repeatedly whispers quietly to herself.

      Nothing.

      Not one bump.

      Not one hole.

      Gathering all her strength, she

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