Aging Gracefully: Listening to Your Body

Aging

Gracefully

Listening to your Body

Erieka Bennett

AuthorHouse™

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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© 2021 Erieka Bennett. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 04/07/2021

ISBN: 978-1-6655-2198-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-2196-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-2197-0 (e)

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Contents

Introduction

Section: I. Aging Gracefully

Chapter 1 Acceptance

Chapter 2 Just Be

Chapter 3 Be Free And Fearless

Chapter 4 Lifestyle

Chapter 5 Family And Friends

Chapter 6 Work, Retirement And Money Matters

Chapter 7 It’s All About Mindset

Section: II. Listening To Your Body

Introduction

Chapter 8 Surviving A Heart Attack

Chapter 9 Denial And Other Lessons

Chapter 10 Covid-19 Speaking

Epilogue

The Global Views of Erieka

Acknowledgments

Contact Information

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all my sisters, brothers, aunties,

uncles and friends who, at the eve of our lives, decide

to Never settle for less because we deserve the best.

Introduction

I have spent the last 20 years preparing to ease gracefully into the next 20 years. I have amassed a significant amount of information about how each of us can be well and happy as we age. This book will share my insights with you. I believe I have many more years ahead of me, but no matter when the inevitable call of death comes, I am well-prepared to take my bow and exit this stage of life. I shall evolve into a better being through my transition. More importantly, I know I would have honored the best within me and laid some foundation for the next generation.

It’s a privilege to grow old gracefully and with a happy attitude. With every added year, I feel more alive and I consider another phase of my life just starting. I am filled with gratitude and gladness to have lived through a vast mixture of joyous and wilderness experiences. I have travelled the world and have had my share of learning, and I have approached my experiences with faith and hope for the better. I am as enthusiastic as ever. My perspective on life remains positive and optimistic. Out of my youthful cocoon, I have evolved into a full butterfly.

I project that within each of us there is a unique story to tell and we only need the courage to share it. I am a change agent and seeks to continue that role. I turned 70 in April 2020 and looking at my journey of growth, I feel so incredibly grateful for the life that I have lived. I do not regret any of it, for if I ever had the choice, I would do it all over again. My late mother, may her soul rest in peace, never missed an opportunity to let me know how serendipitous (a natural gift for making pleasant, valuable or useful discoveries by accident) I was even as a child.

This book is timely. All over the world, life expectancy has increased. In the 1950s in developed countries, the average life expectancy was about 66 years old. By 2010, the figure had reached about 77 years old. This number is expected to increase further with each succeeding year. According to the UN, by 2050, for the first time in our history, the population of older people will exceed that of children who are below 15 years¹. These figures illustrate the necessity of our understanding the dynamics of aging and creating systems and patterns that make it a worthwhile experience. While governments have to put in place strategies and opportunities for our aging population, it is imperative that as individuals we do our part and embrace that phase of our growth.

Most importantly, we need to adapt mindsets and lifestyles that will enable us to live more happily and enjoy every bit of growing old. We must abandon all fears and stereotypes of aging and plunge fully into it with enthusiasm, tact and even the childlike wonder of discovering new things. This book can serve as your guide. As I wrote it, it helped me welcome 70 with grace, dignity and honor.

I hope that this book will complement other materials on spiritual, physical and emotional health that has begun to inspire a paradigm shift on the approach to aging well. It is a book for all who face life challenges; for all who have been knocked to the ground but can learn to get up, dust off and make your life work to meet your dreams. It’s a great privilege to grow older, and we can make it more fun by altering our thoughts and attitudes. Aging should be seen as a time to do what you love … and just be. Contrary to the obnoxious idea that life is coming to an end when we see the first gray hair, we should prepare for and treat aging as the rewarding start of something new. Welcome to the journey!

SECTION I:

AGING GRACEFULLY

CHAPTER ONE

ACCEPTANCE

Your days are numbered. Use them to throw open the windows of your soul to the sun. If you do not, the sun will soon set, and you with it.

― Marcus Aurelius

W hen we are children we look forward to our next birthdays. We simply can’t wait to get older. We daydream of what we shall become when we grow up. But during our 20s and 30s, we realize that becoming adults depends on more than wishing. Life challenges us to discover who we are, and uncertainties and impatience sometimes create the stress associated with becoming adults. However, with time, most of us evolve into our truest selves and by the time we are senior we feel more mature and wiser.

One important thing to do as you discover yourself is to become appreciative and accepting of the aging process. And to do that, you should associate with people who have gone through it and whom you admire. You should learn by giving an ear to those who are more experienced. A person I learned from is Xernona Clayton. Mrs. Clayton is in her 90s, but she looks and acts like she is in her 50s – full of youthful energy and passion for the future. I have also been inspired by another mentor, the late H.E. Ruth Sando Perry, the first transitional female president in Africa (Liberia). Madam Perry continued to age gracefully-with a grateful heart-in spite of her ailing health until her demise. May Her Soul Rest in Peace.

In many cultures, it is well known that the wise counsel of the elders helps societies become better. Irrespective of our cultural backgrounds, we learn from folklore the importance of wisdom associated with growing older. Yet, at the same time, we hear all kinds of stereotypes about aging. People say, for instance, You can’t teach old dog new tricks. This is supposed to mean that elderly people don’t have the capacity to learn anything new and worthwhile or are unable to adjust to change.

In our fast-paced generation that is fixated on the concept of eternal youth, growing old -– or certainly looking older -- is often characterized as a thing to be avoided like the plague. The media is filled with endless ads of cosmetic and anti-aging solutions to look younger, as if there is something seriously wrong with looking older than age 30. Like the 16th century conquistador Juan Ponce deLeón, legions of people seek the fountain of youth; and if they found a magical wand, they might freeze themselves eternally in a moment of youth.

But without expensive (and sometimes dangerous) plastic surgery, the etchings of the years cannot be halted or reversed. Willy-nilly, the wrinkles creep in, the bones in the knees and back tend to get stiff, the gray hair comes, and the short-term memory often starts to fail. When you look in the mirror you can’t deny the obvious: You are aging. What do you do with that awareness? Do you fall into a depression or do you make the best of the circumstances? Do you decide to optimize whatever time you have left until your last breath, seeing the best in yourself as you look forward and not backward?

Life has its own way of happening, of unfolding in exactly the way it is designed. There are no accidents, only incidents. Life lessons sometime seem to be other than that. However, looking for the positive is just as easy as looking for what’s wrong in a situation.

The complaining only serves to rob you of your joy and peace of mind. So I never engage in such conversations. When your life is controlled by God, it is absolutely wonderful and a magical journey. It is through deliberate and conscious observation that I establish my source of wisdom. As I remain open to nature and what God is showing me through the creation of all things, I learned the true meaning of Grace. I am a student of life and humanity. My belief is that without trials there are no testimonies.

One constant fact is you cannot run away from things or people. When the motivation factor is to begin a new life, so be it; however, you cannot be doing so to escape the life you are leading. In other words, it is most rewarding to change