Testify

Copyright © 2019 by August Love.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CONTROL NUMBER:     2019911400

       ISBN:             HARDCOVER                       978-1-7960-5040-0

                              SOFTCOVER                        978-1-7960-5039-4

                                EBOOK                                978-1-7960-5038-7

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Rev. date: 08/22/2019

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CONTENTS

Prayer

Thank You

Introduction

Chapter 1     In the Beginning

Chapter 2     Down Memory Lane

Chapter 3     Relocation

Chapter 4     Words of Encouragement

Chapter 5     Flashback

Chapter 6     Sound the Alarm

Chapter 7     In My Feelings

Chapter 8     What’s In A Name

Chapter 9     My Name Is Not Sarah

Chapter 10   How We Met

Chapter 11   Something Is Missing

Chapter 12   Talk to Me

Chapter 13   Letters to Mr.

Chapter 14   Thinking Out Loud … My Thoughts

Chapter 15   What About Me

Chapter 16   Let Go And Let God

Chapter 17   Thinking Out Loud

Chapter 18   Get Back Up

Chapter 19   Will I Love Again?

Chapter 20   Forgiveness Is Freedom

Chapter 21   Can We Talk Sister-To-Sister?

Chapter 22   Wait On the Lord

Chapter 23   My First Love

Chapter 24   A Call to Prayer

Chapter 25   Spiritual Detoxing

Chapter 26   Healing

Chapter 27   A Part of the Body

A Special Thank You!

Books of the Bible

PRAYER

Father, in the name of Jesus, I want to first thank you for being Lord of my life. For without you I can do nothing, and without you I am nothing. You are my lifeline. You’re the reason I’m here today. I am beyond grateful to know that you would save someone like me, not worthy of your grace or mercy, but so thankful that you look beyond my faults and saw my needs.

Thank you for giving me the mind to seek your face for instruction, understanding, and wisdom. Thank you for allowing me to be transparent in the writing of this book, and for giving me the strength to look within myself, knowing that you’ve placed everything in me that I need to accomplish it!

You’ve given me the strength to look beyond my fears, pain, and disappointments, and within that you remind me that I can do all things through Christ because you will strengthen me.

My prayer, God, is that this book will be a blessing and provider strength to everyone who reads it, and encouragement to everyone who needs it. I ask that you rebuke every spirit of fear and every spiritual stronghold over the minds of your people, and set them free by the power that is within you.

Thank you for the spirit of love and forgiveness. You forgave us, so that we can forgive others! This is my humble prayer, in Jesus’s name. Amen!

THANK YOU

I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to my family (Mother), friends, church family, and prayer partners for believing in and praying for me. I solicit your prayers, and you followed through. I called and you answered. Sometimes you listened and sometimes you would give advice, but whatever your role, I just want to say I am beyond grateful!

To my wonderful leaders, Bishop Gary L. Hall, and First Lady Mary L. Hall, thank you for building upon the foundation that was laid. Jeremiah 3:15 (KJV) states, And I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding.

To the fragrance of the house, First Lady Hall, I love you to life. I have learned so much from you over the years. You are a virtuous woman indeed. Continue to allow God to use you!

To the best leader on this side of heaven, Bishop Hall, someone once said to me, Your pastor is a gold-digger. At first, I thought, What? but then she went on to explain, He is such an awesome teacher; he tries his best to get every nugget out of God’s word! So, I’ll say to you, Keep digging, sir, and continue to give God your permission and your participation.

INTRODUCTION

Thank you for taking this journey down memory lane with me. I pray that my testimony will be a blessing to you or someone you know who has dealt with or dealing with some of the things I’ve been through. I know it might not be easy to talk about, but I pray that this book will help guild you in the right direction.

Sometimes we question why God allows what he allows to happen in our lives, and wonder if there’s an expiration date to our trouble, screaming, Lord, when will it end? But Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven, Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV, and according to Romans 8:28, it states, And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose! So yes, I understand it gets hard, but be encouraged and know that God is still in control, and his plan is to bring us to an expected end according to Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11 KJV

As I put pen to paper, I sat and wonder, why would God choose me of all people to write this book? This question ran through my mind for the longest. Why me of all people? I’m not the smartest or the most articulate. I’m not a writer, and I consider myself to be the least qualified. Then the answer hit me in the form of a question. So how is God going to get the glory if you’re not willing to tell your story? But in my mind, I honestly felt like I didn’t have a story to tell! Therefore, I had to take a step back and pray! Now, if you ever heard me pray, you most likely heard me say these words, Lord, come get your glory (I believe it was a setup). Okay, let me drop this in here and tell you why I believe it was a setup! I never started praying, Lord, come get your glory until my church choir released a CD live at the Ritz and my pastor preached a seven-minute message and he titled that message Lord, come get your glory, and for whatever the reason, I couldn’t shake it. And every time I opened my mouth to pray those words would fly out, and from that day until now those five words have always been a part of my prayer! Little did I know God was planning a seed. God is strategic in how he plans out our lives. We’re thinking one way, but he has something totally different in mind! As far as the north is from the south, and the east from the west, God is always a thousand steps ahead of us.

(I know my thoughts toward you, says the Lord.)

People often say, Sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone in order for God to get the glory out of your life. Well, can I just say, there is no comfort in this zone … None whatsoever!

Everyone has a story, some more beautiful than others, and some more traumatic, but at the end of the day, it’s still your story!

This book is not about me becoming an author, but rather the Author coming to me and instructing me on how to write my story. Where it goes from there is up to him.

CHAPTER 1

IN THE BEGINNING

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou has covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well (Ps. 139:13–14, KJV).

HOW IT CAME ABOUT

It’s funny how I sit and reflect on how my friend, Regina, and I used to sit around the house and talk about our upbringing. We would talk about all the crazy things we’ve experienced on this road called life. She would always say, You need to write a book on your life story, and we would just laugh! To me that was the funniest thing because I had some funny stories, but I was thinking, who would want to read about my life! As the saying goes, it was like water of a ducks back because I knew she was joking, and I really didn’t think I had anything that important to say!

Years later I was in a church service, and as the pastor was praying, she called for me, and she began to prophesy to me. As she hit my hand, she said to me, You have a book in you that you need to write! My first thought was, Really, lady … yeah, right! Um no, but okay, if you say so! So I went home and forgot all about it. Then I called to remembrance a dream I had, thinking maybe I do, but about what? I didn’t want to assume, so I left it alone again and went on with my life.

A year or so later, I experienced some turbulence in my life and a few hurricanes, and I found myself in the wilderness that caused me to relocate mentally, to say the least! Everything that I thought could go wrong did! In addition, everything I didn’t think of did also. I thought, God, what is really going on! Well, here I am writing this book, so I guess I’ll testify!

HISTORY

I was born in the beautiful island of Nassau, Bahamas. We moved to Miami when I was nine years old. I am one of twelve children; yes, I come from a big family, as you can see. We did not all grow up in the same household at the same time, but we were all close. I am the sixth child of my mother’s and the firstborn of my father!

GROWING UP

From what I can remember, I had a happy childhood growing up (pre-teen). My mom and dad were pretty good parents. They made sure we had food to eat, clothes on our backs, and a roof over our heads. That’s what was important to them. We didn’t have a lot, but we didn’t know it at the time, nor did we complain about what we didn’t have.

We didn’t get to play outside much, and unlike today, back then it was a big deal. Did we get the latest toys for Christmas? No, we got what they could afford and were thankful. Did you say, What about birthday parties? Nope! (Yeah, I know how sad you’re thinking!) My first birthday party was given to me by my adopted godmother, Bernadette, and it was for my fourteenth birthday. She treated me like the daughter she never had. But don’t get me wrong, our birthdays did not go unnoticed. My mom would always bake cakes for our birthdays, and she baked them from scratch! That was special because if it was your birthday, you got to lick the bowl, while your siblings got the spoons. Ah, fun times. We had each other. You didn’t hear it a lot, but love was implied.

Then the word of the Lord came unto me, saying, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations (Jer. 1:4). KJV

CHAPTER 2

DOWN MEMORY LANE

My stress started in junior high school! I had to deal with a lot of name-calling and dirty looks. Do you know how it feels to be called ugly or to be picked on? Being bullied as a teen was not cool. I hated school! It was like the worst place in the world to be! It was like I got my first look into the realization that we were poor, and it seemed like everyone else looked better, dressed better, and ate better—they did everything better! That didn’t bother me as much in the beginning; however, I did take notice. The children were mean, but the girls were worst! Someone always wanted to fight, but one thing about it: I never backed down from a fight! Scared or not! That was a no-no in my family. We were taught to defend ourselves! Well, it was my uncle, who will remain nameless, who stressed the importance of self-defense.

I couldn’t tell you how many fights I got into because someone didn’t like me or what I was wearing, or according to them I was this little skinny black ugly girl they thought they could push around; therefore that was a reason for them to want to fight me.

Nevertheless, the bullying left a scare that took years to heal. I was always smiling but secretly hating my life. As I was growing up, I would look in the mirror and hated what I saw looking back at me. (Thinking, that’s only because someone said I was ugly or unattractive.) I was looking at myself the way others perceived me. I never saw who I was because all I see was what they saw. Even when I was called pretty, I would still feel ugly and think to myself, yeah, right! I know they’re just saying that to make me feel good, but I never believed them. The one person, however, that I can say made it stick for a second for whatever the reason was my cousin, Maude. She would always say, August, you are so pretty, and for some reason it rang in my ear! Her voice always seemed so sincere.

When I was growing up, my parents didn’t affirm or validate us as children. I don’t think they felt they had to! Well, for me I don’t recall, so when I was being called names, there was no counterbalance. I had nothing to weigh it against! So, the ugly outweighed the pretty and that’s what I considered myself to be most of my life! It was to the point when a guy would try and talk to me, I would not make eye contact because of feeling the fear of rejection. If a guy found me attractive, in my mind he wanted or was up to something!

To me, all my sisters are beautiful! I would look at them and think, Wow, they are so pretty, and everyone noticed it too! I never heard anyone call my sisters ugly! Therefore, I asked God why I had to be the ugly one in the family, almost like the black sheep! It was one of the most painful times in my life, even more so because I kept it all inside.

No one knew what or how I was feeling. I know it should not have mattered what people thought of me, but back then it did. I never, however, let it stop me from walking with my head up high. You know, as the old saying goes, Never let them see you sweat. So I had to walk with a smile on my face, but on the inside, I was sometimes hating the face I saw in the mirror.

When I talked about how I felt or looked, people were quick to quote the scripture, You’re fearfully and wonderfully made, but with my have to analyze everything mind, I was looking for pretty. Yeah, I was wonderfully made in creation, but why was I made ugly, was my question! Look, if you’ve never had to fight with your mirror, or been picked on because of the way you look, or called out of your name, you will never understand the mind of someone who has!

Some things, if not dealt with, will grow up with you, alongside you, reminding you of your past, trying to prevent you from focusing on your future and the plan God has for you. So, don’t say to