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Better Believe: A Story of Hope
Better Believe: A Story of Hope
Better Believe: A Story of Hope
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Better Believe: A Story of Hope

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Ruby Lee Tuesday was born to be her fathers property. Trapped in an abusive home where only perfect was good enough for the devil, Ruby attempted to distract herself from his ways through her music, poetry, art, and most importantly, her faith in God.
Tuesday shares a heartbreaking story of childhood trauma as she bravely pursued her dreams, despite living with parents who seemed determined to destroy her, both physically and emotionally. While providing a riveting look into the ways of an abuser, Tuesday details how her mistreatment eventually caused her to lose her faith, embark on a path of self-destruction, and succumb to panic attacks and depression. But through it all, Tuesday somehow managed to find solace and an escape in her music, ultimately leaving everything behind and bravely following her dream all the way from Norway to Nashville, Tennessee, where she would find faith once again.
Better Believe is a story of determination, passion, betrayal, friendship, and hope as one woman journeys from the darkness of abuse into the light of healing where she learns to believe in herself for the first time.
LanguageEnglish
Release dateNov 12, 2014
ISBN9781490749938
Better Believe: A Story of Hope
Author

Ruby Lee Tuesday

Ruby Lee Tuesday has spent years on healing both physically and spiritually. She is a poet, singer, and songwriter who plays a variety of instruments. Ruby left Norway in 2013 to pursue her dreams in Nashville, Tennessee. This is her first book.

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    Book preview

    Better Believe - Ruby Lee Tuesday

    Copyright 2014, 2015 Ruby Lee Tuesday.

    All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

    ISBN: 978-1-4907-4992-1 (sc)

    ISBN: 978-1-4907-4994-5 (hc)

    ISBN: 978-1-4907-4993-8 (e)

    Library of Congress Control Number: 2014919435

    Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

    Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only. Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

    Trafford rev. 12/29/2014

    22970.png www.trafford.com

    North America & international

    toll-free: 1 888 232 4444 (USA & Canada)

    fax: 812 355 4082

    CONTENTS

    Dear Reader

    A Summary of the Memories of a Past

    In Detroit Starting My Writing

    About Childhood

    A Child Is a New Person

    The Haunted House, My Home

    Starting School

    The Dream

    The Attic and Motherly Broken Trust

    The Art of Smiling

    Disappointment of Outside People and Inside People

    War

    My Condition After the Dream an`d the Attic

    Methods of Punishment

    Handball and Victory

    Hanging with the Wrong Crowd

    Repeating Old Patterns

    The End of Drunkenness and the Beginning of a Speed Addiction

    Nausea, Sweat, and Fainting

    Family Vacations

    Cleansing the Air on a Study Trip to York

    LadyLoveRebel

    Notes and Memoirs from the Homeless Shelter in Nashville

    Oktoberfest in Nashville

    Surreal Surroundings in Nashville

    Connecting Me to My Name and My Story

    Regaining Love for My Body in the Shelter

    The Courage to Heal

    Connecting Myself to My Emotions

    Afraid to Feel

    Save Your Soul

    A Change of Heart

    The Blame Game

    Your Own Issues

    Adopting Two Children for a While

    Get Through Drama Trauma

    You Hurt My Feelings

    Lift People Up

    How Are You Today?

    My Birthday and New Challenges

    God Is Alive and Well

    Finding God

    The Dream and Standing Up for Myself in Court

    A Long Road to Find Love

    Talking to God

    Sent Back from Death

    Ball Sports and Music

    Dream; Take off Nashville

    One Year Drug Free

    Poems and Short Writings during the Shelter

    Poems and Short Writings in Time from the Shelter

    Homeless Dream

    I Am Grateful, Lord

    Observing Myself

    I Believe in Tomorrow

    A Modern Slave

    A Tradition to Be Sheeple, People?

    Happy Wishes, Sheeple

    By the Grace of God

    Devotions

    Just 4 Today

    Just 4 Today, Marshall

    Just 4 Tonight 1

    Just 4 Tonight 2

    A Nightly Devotion

    A Moment in Time 1

    A Moment in Time 2

    A Moment in Time 3

    A Moment in Time 5

    A Moment in Time 4

    Be Aware of What You Wish For

    Chapter 2, for the Rest for the Best

    Contact information

    Dear Reader

    D ear reader, I write to you because I would like to share my story with you. It is a story of determination, losing track, passion, betrayal, friendship, and most of all, it is a tale of hope that might help you get along better with your life or see things in a new perspective than you would before reading this book. You can achieve whatever you want in life if you only believe it. I have been looking for happiness all my life, and in order to find it, I had to start listening to my conscience and start doing the right things. Not only was it the right thing to do to others, but it also took away the bad emotions connected to not doing right and lit up the way for joy to come into my life. I just learned that all things that are keeping you doing things you don’t like are sin. We may call them addiction this and addiction that, but they are all sin. I would have resented hearing that at the top of my addiction, but I know now that the enemy, the devil, is the one who keeps this knowledge away from your heart. The devil does not want you to be happy, and what I found after talking to a huge number of people is that everybody just wants to be happy. So I ask, Dear God, Father in heaven, please help me write my story as honest and helpful as I can. Help it help this reader find what he or she is looking for in their lives and, most of all, find the love for themselves and be their own best friend and treat others in the same way. Be who you are, but be your best version of you. And help me try and be the best version of me. This I ask in your son Jesus Christ’s name. Amen.

    A Summary of the Memories of a Past

    I t was a summer day in 1979 that this baby child was born. She resisted and twisted for two weeks, and when she finally came, her forehead came first. She was nearly strangled by the cord around her neck. The doctors took her and ran out of the room. She never connected with her mother, and her mother never connected with her. Her surroundings were wild. She had a sister and, later on, got a brother. They were all raised in different parts of the house, isolated from one another. The house was haunted, and her room reminded of a prison cell. Besides a tiny window in the roof, there was no light coming into her darkness. Outside her window was the dark and starlit sky. She cried at night, wondering why—why she had to live above the deadly living room. Voices and hatred made the air stand still. She had no will of her own. She was born to be her father’s property. He was full of hate. And the little girl hated his ways. She carried love within her heart. And she created art. She made a song to prove them wrong, and then what happened would not be as bad as it was good for nothing, not as long as she made a song or a poem. Those little victories she hid in her head and rarely talked about. That way no one could mess it up or take it away from her.

    Day in and day out, she was living in fright, all alone in her prison cell in hell. She was destined to live to tell. In the meantime, she tried to be good in those mean times. Cold-hearted beatings from the man with the iron fist. He handed her bruises and memories of a life in risk. A living hell, she could tell that her virginity was already taken when she entered first grade—first grade and a few hours of getaway from the haunted house, her haunted home. She did her very best. Only perfect was nearly good enough for the devil. Driven by hatred, she delivered. She can remember how she lost contact with her body. Her mom and dad twisted her hands and twisted both her arms. They divided her wholeness by pressure to her joints. Being disconnected from herself, she stopped drawing, could not feel her own fingers. They were twisted away from their original position. She would turn cold, never thought she would get very old. And here she is this very day. She cried her pain away and is finally releasing all her disappointments. Post-traumatic stress disorder and panic attacks were what the devil ordered so many years ago. She is now thirty-five and stronger than ever before. And in her mind is a wish for the best for the rest.

    In Detroit Starting My Writing

    I sit in a motel room in Detroit. It is quiet. This is where I start writing my story. I hear the sound of the fan; it keeps me warm. The snow outside looks pretty and innocent. I watch TV, daytime gossip; it is nice to hear someone talk when I am by myself, soothing my nerves in a city I do not know. I pray to my Father in heaven, He who has always been there in my life giving good influence in my upbringing and guidance in a tried life, my guiding conscience. I came here because M&M lives here in Detroit. I admire his determination and his strength. This is the place I chose to soothe my nerves and gain some perspective at this point in my life. It is almost Christmas, and this is my gift to myself. Without my nerves, I can’t go very far in any directions. I don’t like secret advice and manipulation or guiding hands from an unknown source—except from God, that is. I got my fair share of that many years ago. And so here I am in Detroit, the broke city. So am I, so we kind of go together in a way. At least this is where I will start to tell my story, from my memory and my experiences, to let it off my chest and let it go. Hopefully, by telling this story, I can help someone out there overcome their obstacles too.

    About Childhood

    I know that a childhood is something most people remember with joy, laughter, protection, freedom, and safety. The story can be slightly different when you grow up with a predator and his wife. The two people who put you into this world are the ones you fear the most. I would say that if God was not in my life, I would not have been here today. Because in darkness, surrounded by the enemy, the

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