A Child of Destiny: An Autobiography

Preface

The brief autobiographical account presented in this volume is an attempt to show the significance of circumstances in shaping one’s destiny. Volition has an important role to play, but intentions are insufficient to determine the outcome. Wisdom consists in taking advantage of the circumstances to move the events in the desired direction. Volition is the driving force but needs guidance for an appropriate outcome. It is hoped that this brief autobiography is sufficiently illustrative of this.

I grew up in a rural setting, economically backward and socially uninspiring in some ways. Yet it had other advantages that could be exploited to realize one’s true potential. Rural living has its own nobility; it instills unadulterated values without any sophisticated encumbrances, and can help to drive the inner spirit toward self-realization. A judicious rural–urban mix could be a boon for one to blossom and harvest full inherent potential and talent.

This exercise is a description of the play of destiny in my own life. This has several lessons for me, and I hope it has something to offer to others. My tryst with destiny is in many ways memorable and satisfying. There were many who were instrumental in materializing these events. My family had been and continues to be an important source of support and even inspiration. My beloved wife for 69 years traveled with me all the way sharing the spring days as well as the chills of life. Now she left me blissfully and peacefully breathing her last in her sleep at 2.00 a.m. on 03 May 2019. She was though less abled during the last few years, she was a joy of my life; now I feel orphaned and lonely; but she would not have wanted me to get sick and tired. So, I go on with my life, even though I find my evenings uninspiring and lifeless. My children live continents apart, on the other side of the globe. With the communications revolution in place now, the physical distance matters very little. However, now that my wife was gone, my children want me to spend more time in the US. Used to an active life in Visakhapatnam, I hesitate to spend my time in semi-retirement. I am now in search of a golden mean.

I thank Dr. Rositta Joseph for copy-editing the manuscript of this book with her characteristic care.

It is not inappropriate to say how fortunate I am to have such wonderful people around me to help. Rafi is with me wherever and whenever I need him. I have excellent facilities in my office at GITAM as well as great help at my home. I acknowledge my grateful thanks to all of them, who continue to support me. Their loving service sustains me and keeps me going with undiminished energy and enthusiasm.

1

Growing Up in a Rural Community

Introduction

Life is a flowing stream, not a still pond. Therefore, there is likely to be dry spells as well as floods, turbulences and troubled periods, frustrations, despair and depression, and also times of tasting success and enjoying periods of pleasure. However, the goal of life to be happy is realized only in a state of equanimity and tranquility. Equanimity is not simply experiencing a state of stillness but it consists in striking a healthy balance between positive and negative states. What have I learned from my own life and experience? How could one strike a balance between extreme emotions one faces, whether delight or depression, success or failure?

Perhaps, it is not usually the case; but I have dabbled in my academic endeavors in diverse fields from conducting experimental studies to exploring inner states, from studying pragmatism to understanding idealism as philosophies of life, and from the investigation of yoga and consciousness to Gandhi’s thought and his concept of nonviolence as a tool of personal transformation as well as a vehicle of social action and conflict resolution. However, there is a method in this madness, a running thread that binds them all together. It is investigating the link between science and spirituality, between the mundane and the transcendental, and between the ego and the other.

I began my academic career with an interest in studying human nature. Under the guidance of my early guru, Prof. Saileswar Sen, I was led to study parapsychology as a possible bridge between science and spirituality, a link between Eastern philosophies and Western science. However, largely because of the influence of Dr. J.B. Rhine, as my professional career was unfolding, the study of and research in parapsychology became an end in itself; and consumed a major part of my academic activities. I published scores of research papers and a few books beginning with Psi Cognition (1957) to the more recent one, The Elements of Parapsychology (2017); edited the Journal of Parapsychology for nearly two decades, and was elected as the President of Parapsychological Association, an international society of professionals involved in parapsychology, at three different times, first in 1965. With all this intimate involvement in parapsychological work in different roles, why do I now feel not so fully satisfied with all that; and have tended more recently to drift away from it? The reason seems to be that my genuine roots are in the Indian tradition; and that my involvement in parapsychology was an unintended transplant of that interest in an alien soil. Therefore, my growth was somewhat stunted. This was perhaps due to what I might call the Rhinean Spell. I see in it the hand of destiny, by which I mean the force of circumstances rather than a self-generated will.

After decades of intimate involvement in parapsychology, in its limited sense of experimentally investigating human abilities that seem to transcend the normal sensory-motor functions, I see in recent times the broader contours of my pursuits and the place of consciousness as an overarching principle that governs the normal as well as the paranormal phenomena we encounter in life. What we had been hoping to capture by psi research was merely a drop in the vast ocean of consciousness. Indian psychology is a discipline that postulates that the person, the subject of its study, is a mirror that reflects the rays of consciousness. With this broader perspective of science and spirituality, I now find a harmonious blend of my seemingly varied explorations.

Birth and Growth in a Rural Community

I was a country boy; not born with a silver spoon; but with a very healthy environment to grow. I have very fond memories of living and learning in my early years in a very rural setting; but with some unusual privileges. My mother came from some kind of an aristocratic family in a remote village, Ramannapalem in Krishna district. I was born in Ramannapalem, and spent a lot of time in that village, pampered in all possible ways, being the eldest child in a prominent family in the village. My maternal grandfather was the village head. He moved with jamindars, some kind of royalty, who controlled the landholdings in villages. The village heads, called munsiffs, were responsible for collecting the land taxes from the villagers as well as looking after the local law and order matters. My maternal grandfather also used to mine for precious stones. In fact, we used to have quite a few of those at our home. I had a very enjoyable time in Ramannapalem with tons of freedom savoring the true flavor of rural life, little polluted by urbanization both in practices and thinking. I could pluck delicious fruits from the garden and relish eating them, hear the whispering of frogs in the well and the sweet songs of birds in the fields adjoining the house. I used to bathe and swim in a nearby flowing natural stream not too far from the place we lived. These are some of the sweetest memories of my early childhood I still cherish. Whatever I did in Ramannapalem was for fun. I fully relished rural life.

From my father’s side, the story was somewhat different in that the family did not inherit an aristocratic tradition as in the case of my maternal grandparents. My paternal grandfather was also the village head. He had earned a reputation for his impeccable character and devotion to work. He was duly recognized and rewarded for his efforts to nail down a few notorious criminals. I recall, he had a baton with a sterling silver cap presented by the government in recognition of his meritorious work. I would have loved to inherit and keep it as a family heirloom. Alas! One of my father’s younger brothers took it away and probably sold it for a pittance.

Even though the villages from where my father and mother came were nearly 50 miles apart, which in those days was a formidable distance, the marriage between my parents consummated, because my grandparents met each other frequently in Vijayawada (then called Bezwada) to deposit in the treasury their land revenue tax collections.

My father came from an agricultural family; however, their landholdings were too meager to support five brothers and two sisters. Therefore, he had to find other avenues for employment. So, he became a teacher in the village school, which later came under the jurisdiction of the district school system with the result he became a district employee with benefits of lifelong monthly pension after retirement. When his children grew up and financially well placed, he did not really need that small pension. However, he regularly collected and spent it to bring home some goodies to his grandchildren. My father’s job as a teacher in the district school system was transferable to any other school in the district. However, he managed to stay almost throughout his career as a teacher in our ancestral village, because of the clout the family had with district administration. So, I did not move around, but spent most of my childhood in Enikepadu or Ramannapalem.

My father was a very docile, humble, and agreeable person. He highly valued education. He did everything he could to provide good education for his sons. Unfortunately, in those days little attention was given to girls. So, my sister, who is probably as bright, if not more than her brothers, did not have the benefit of higher education. If she had the same educational opportunities as her two brothers, I know, she would have excelled and possibly surpassed both of her brothers.

As mentioned, my maternal grandfather had in him a streak of aristocracy and royalty. He moved and interacted with jamindars as we noted earlier. I was pampered, as I was the eldest child in the family; and was given the impression that I was superior to others. Such a superiority complex was a drawback. I became too self-assertive and indulgent, sometimes even aggressively so. This streak still haunts me a bit; and cautions me to exercise considerable restraint in my social interactions.

The families from my mother’s and father’s side, as we noted, were in such stark contrast. When my mother came to our ancestral home, where my father lived in Enikepadu, she came in a meena, a closed and decorated carriage carried by men. It was a spectacle not witnessed before in our village. My mother was never seen outside of her house. It was a big come down to live in the joint family set-up for one who was brought up in an aristocratic tradition. However, she never complained; and happily lived with my father who shared the joint family house with two of his other brothers. The house was large with a tiled roof, one of the impressive structures in the village abutting the main road between Bezwada and Eluru.

The recorded date of my birth is 4 October 1932. I have reason to think that it is the correct date because, even though my father came from a peasant family, he was a literate person, and a teacher who was meticulous in many ways, and clearly in maintaining records. He drafted legal documents to many illiterate peasants in the village. It is therefore most unlikely that he recorded a wrong date; and there was no reason, good or bad, that could have prompted him to enter a false date of my birth.

If 4 October is the day of my birth, it comes two days after M.K. Gandhi’s. I consider this proximity quite significant because Mahatma Gandhi has been an inspiration for me since my school days. I recall how we sobbed for days when we listened to All India Radio news of his death on 30 January 1948. I was only 16 years old then; but the experience is still fresh and poignant.

Notwithstanding the many twists and turns in my professional activities, my interest in Gandhi has remained consistent and steady throughout my professional career. When I was engaged in parapsychological work, I was always reminded of Gandhi’s inner voice episodes. In my studies of yoga, Gandhi’s yoga of nonviolence stands out prominently. In my readings of consciousness, the notion of pure consciousness is strengthened by my familiarity with Gandhian thought and practices.

While Gandhi’s ideas figure out so prominently in my intellectual pursuits, I fall far short in actually incorporating his practices into my own life and living. Gandhi had deservedly earned the reputation of being Mahatma. Mahatma’s signal characteristic is that there is in him a harmonious blend of