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My Book Of Poems
My Book Of Poems
My Book Of Poems
Ebook108 pages48 minutes

My Book Of Poems

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About this ebook

A collection of humorous and serious poems on subjects including love, politics, covid, music and the environment.
LanguageEnglish
Release dateJul 14, 2021
ISBN9791220825542
My Book Of Poems

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    Book preview

    My Book Of Poems - Bernard Morris

    MY BOOK OF POEMS

    Bernard Morris

    © 2021 Bernard Morris

    First Edition

    The author asserts the moral right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. All Rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievable system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

    Cover by Sponchia/Pixabay

    CONTENTS

    Old Friends

    Rainy Day Talent Contests

    The Customer

    If We Don't Sort The Problems Out

    Donald Trump The President Was Anything But Brave

    Kelp!

    Isolation Row

    Your Hair And Teeth Are Falling Out

    Those Four Words

    I Want To Feel Your Loving Heart

    Don't Think Twice It's Alright To Sell Your Entire Catalogue Of Songs

    Now I'm Nearly Four

    Every Time I See Your Smile

    We're Homo Sapiens

    Uncle Charlie The Funny Clown

    He Looks Like A Woman, You See

    Silverback Fighter

    Hogging The Ball

    Your Nose Is Red And Swollen

    All You Need Is Gloves

    Breastfeeding In Public

    All The Junk Food

    Quarantine Delight

    At The Doctors

    Covid Deaths Are Mounting

    Bad Pie

    Antibody

    Twerking Ass Hero

    There Was A Time

    How Can Anybody Ever Eat A Cow

    When You Forget To Buy A Present

    Remembering Thatcher

    I Am In Bed

    Old Age

    Corona Corona

    Fried Fish Is Nice

    As You Get Older

    A Virus Called Covid

    That Yolk Isn't Runny Anymore

    Librariantics

    If I Had Never Met You

    Oops! I Farted Again

    Not For Me To Sing

    MuckDonalds

    Donald The President

    Big Toe

    All Night Pong

    Mr Tangerine Man

    Don't

    Knockin' On Bevan's Door

    Can't Get It Out Of My Shed

    We Remember Milligan

    Colourful Chameleon

    I Wanna Wash My Hands

    Swearing

    Starfish

    He Is Beep Beep

    I Am Enormous

    I'm In Love With Your Behind

    Old Lady Walking To The Shop

    Referendum 2

    You're A Truly Devoted Real Ale Lover

    The Capitol Front And Back Door

    You Know I Can't Sweat

    There's A New Single Out

    Virus

    A Mansion

    I Can't Pooh

    I’ve Always Been Health Conscious

    OLD FRIENDS

    Remember when we were kids

    Full of the joys of spring

    Always having a laugh

    And not being afraid to sing

    The simple things we used to do

    Like climbing over walls

    Playing hide and seek in the street

    And playing kerby with footballs

    None of this computer rubbish

    The kids all play these days

    We got our pleasure from simple things

    Like getting lost in a maze

    It didn’t take much to keep us happy

    We came home from school and got changed

    If you told today’s kids what we did for fun

    They’d look at you as if you were deranged

    We had our tea, played out on the front

    Till our Mums shouted us in

    Some of us played out all day on the field

    And our Mums got drunk on gin

    We always looked forward to Thursdays

    For Thursday was Market Day

    We’d jump on to Mr Mather’s cart

    And he’d take us all the way

    He’d take us all down to the market

    But that horse didn’t half pong

    We’d stop and pick Molly Rankin up on the way

    And we’d all have a sing-a-long

    And Billy Baker and Elsie Parker

    You could get half the village on that cart

    And there’d be an enormous roar of laughter

    Every time Eddie Rogers did a fart

    Those were the days and it was always sunny

    Whether skipping or climbing trees

    Please open your eyes, don’t leave me yet

    It’s not time, don’t leave me...please

    RAINY DAY TALENT CONTESTS

    Well, they’ll know you when you’re judging

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