Dear Lightworker
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About this ebook
Lightworkers have the tremendous gift of curing with their hearts and high-vibrational energy.
When Esther Cowdery opened her heart to being a Light-worker she realised she had to work through her own pain, transform her negative conditioning and step into the light.
Dear Lightworker, is a moving collection of beauti
Esther Cowdery
Esther is a profoundly gleeful soul who insists on honouring her heart-space irrespective of worldly demands. She is gifted with a special ability to elegantly articulate our often-neglected, fathomless, emotional depths. Her mission is to embody the The Yin Principle - to honour the creative magic and enchantment of each moment - which she carries out in her home in France, transforming her words and wisdom into a profound spiritual practice among her family, friends and community. She is a devoted mamma of two little dogs, three cats, and a pony called Lancelot. She is a passionate connoisseur of cheese, and a firm believer in the healing power of joy. She is the author of two other poetry collections, Journey into the Feminine and Dear Lightworker, available at The Yin Principle website, theyinprinciple.com
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Dear Lightworker - Esther Cowdery
Introduction
When I was a young girl, I was beaming with light. I was the very embodiment of a gleeful, loving spirit. I wanted to care for, and nourish, everything. I felt it so deeply when others were unhappy. It was my inherent nature to radiate concern and compassion and forgiveness for everybody. It didn’t make sense to me why others would choose to be withholding, or unhappy, or disconnected. But as I grew older, a seed of self-doubt started to grow inside of me. My light was too bright for some people or, more painfully, they just couldn’t see it at all. I started to believe that I was doing something wrong. That maybe I would need to adjust myself a little in order to win people over. That maybe they needed more of my joy in order to feel better about themselves and better about me. For some people I was too much, for others, I was not enough. As is customary for a young, impressionable mind, I started to believe that I needed to change in order to earn love. To become more studious, more impressive, more beautiful, perhaps. And most certainly, less ‘sensitive’. What I know now is that I am pure love. All of my actions and intentions are motivated by a beaming heart chakra. And I believe, deeply, that the very reason I arrived on this Earth, the reason I have experienced all of the pain and life-lessons to date, was to learn how to unabashedly unleash love into the world. To be a Lightworker.
Arriving at this knowing was not easy. I spent all of my 20s moving in-and-out of institutions, countries, friendship groups, and romantic relationships, trying to discern what would make me happy. I started to feel how some situations and some people helped me to flourish whilst being around others did not. Being in their company felt heavy and incredibly draining. Whenever I would step away from a situation that I felt did not serve me, I would feel a sense of freedom. I would feel joyful and ignited in my own sovereignty. My energy would come back again in full force. But sometimes, in an act of self-abuse, I would return to those uglier dynamics. Telling myself, subconsciously, that I needed to fix this situation, or bear the responsibility of making the other person feel better, or bring them around to my way of thinking because, even if they could not see it, I was deeply focused on their light. Each time I had chosen my own sovereignty, I felt immensely selfish. I would be inundated with guilt and shame. But stepping back into those uglier situations also felt like death. I could feel my energy being drained and my natural joy dissipating, leaving me to feel numb. I would feel at a crossroads, flittering back-and-forth between sovereignty and entrapment for years.
The most essential part of my healing process has been to eliminate shame and guilt. The belief that I am somehow wrong for wanting to spend time by myself, or for feeling what I am feeling, or for following my intuition. That I am a terrible person for not devoting my energy to others when I have so much of it. That I am selfish for wanting to invest my time and energy into my own pursuits and desires and follow my own inner guidance. In order to be an