Humor in Blue

Humor

in

Blue

The book of your past may be forgotten and hidden by time; But you may relive the moments of humor if you allow your thoughts to rediscover its pages. (Author)

Rolf J. Pröpper Wysock

Albert J. Pröpper Wysock

Copyright © 2019 by Rolf J. Pröpper Wysock.

Library of Congress Control Number:      2019907872

Paperback:    978-1-7333366-5-9

eBook:             978-1-7333366-6-6

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Contents

Dedication

Preface

Introduction

Humor In Blue

Conclusion

Epilogue

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all the brave men and women who wore or are wearing the badge of honor. Especially to all the heroes, regardless of department, who were willing to answer society’s call to serve and protect it and were brutally taken from us by the cowards of that society.

Yes, there is a "Blue Line". A select close-knit brother and sisterhood, bonded together by the badge of pride, integrity and guts. Its members are reluctant to share their special camaraderie with others who truly wouldn’t understand their remarkable way of handling danger, hardship, and the unique creation of their humor; they simply prefer the company of each other. It is an exclusive and unusual world of justness, reliability, mutual sharing, respect, trust and dependency that the civilian sector wouldn’t genuinely understand. Contrary to the oft accepted but erroneous belief that police officers hide behind the Blue Line, its members are the first to demand punishment and expulsion of those who deliberately or knowingly violate the law, strict departmental rules or tarnish the noble profession. "Regrettably, criminal intent only sees a uniform and not the person in it." (Author)

ONCE A COP, ALWAYS A COP.

Once the badge goes on, it never comes off, whether they can see it or not.

It fuses to the soul through adversity, fear, and adrenaline, and no

Who as ever worn it with pride, integrity and guts, can

Ever sleep through the ‘call of the wild’

That wafts through bedroom windows in the deep of night.

Author: Unknown

Preface

Before the intended theme of this book is introduced, it is absolutely critical to be emblematic and first address several extremely pressing issues that threaten the wellbeing of our society and the willingness of the public to believe a blatant lie and reject the obvious truth defies logic. Acts of kindness are only occasionally reported and quickly forgotten. Our interest is immediately perked when listening to reports of bad news, scandal and negative public opinion. By remaining strictly unbiased and approach the subject matter realistically it is ardently hoped and desired not to offend anyone and allow readers to be the judge. Thus it is difficult not to write satire.

Independent Press?

There is no such a thing in America a as an independent press, unless it is out in country towns. You are all slaves. You know it, and I know it. There is not one of you who dare to express an honest opinion. If you express it, you would know beforehand that it would never appear in print. I am paid $150 for keeping honest opinions out of the paper I am connected with. Others of you are paid similar salaries for doing similar things. If I should allow honest opinions to be printed in one issue of my paper, I would be like Othello before twenty-four hours: my occupation would be gone. The man who would be so foolish as to write honest opinions would be out on the street hunting for another job. The business of a New York journalist is to distort the truth, to lie outright, to pervert, to vilify, to fawn at the feet of Mammon, and so sell his country and his race for his daily bread, or for what is about the same-his salary. You know this, and I know it; and what foolery to be toasting an ‘Independent Press’! We are the tools and vassals of rich men behind the scenes. We are jumping-jacks. They pull the string and we dance. Our time, our talents, our lives, our possibilities, is all the property of other men. We are intellectual prostitutes.

(John Swinton, New York Times journalist, ca. 1883)

There may be some truth to John Swinton’s assessment. On February 10, 1946 the British Foreign Minister Ernest Bevin when attending the London Conference of Foreign Ministers had this to say: A newspaper has three things to do. One is to amuse, another is to entertain, and the rest is to mislead. We are at the edge and steadily marching towards impending chaos because we fail to apply common sense and possess dangerously low knowledge of history and hide behind rose-colored glasses. Unfortunately, too many members of Congress missed the ‘wakeup call’ in 1963 and didn’t hear Congressman Albert Herlong Jr. of Florida citing the 45 long term Communist goals.

Humor is humor and timeless; an enemy of Political Correctness. Grotesque imaging and vocalized extreme violence depicted as humor are products of the Far Left opposition. (Author)

Starting with the recent tragic events suffered by POLICE, readers are urged to take personal bias off the table and recognize that there are two sides to every story. Quoting Desiderius Erasmus (1465-1536) In Praise of Folly: "Therefore, if any singly complain they are particularly reflected upon, they do but betray their own guilt, at least their own cowardice…the ingenious reader will easily perceive I aimed at diversion rather than satire…": In the analysis, simple logic and common sense are applied in interpretation of the facts; thus no apology is required.

Unfortunately, we have not only failed miserably to solve the malaise of the past but have also allowed Political Folly to fester as we entered the Twenty First Century. Those who refuse to accept reality hide their ignorance in a world of make believe. Crime is steadily becoming so prevalent and a daily occurrence, it is relatively safe to assume that well over half of our society is involved in some acts of a nefarious nature. Not necessarily hurtful or serious, but unlawful nevertheless. Minor infractions are routinely shrugged off and looked upon as less and less of an offense; perhaps even accepted as part of life by many. An endless list of reasons and excuses, offered in defense, often baffle the imagination that all too frequently defy rational – Affluenza? *More than 10,000 DUI (Driving under the Influence) victims die per year.

The Drunk Driver

His friends told him: You’ve had too much!

To heed their advice, he wouldn’t do such.

He took just one more for the road.

By now he had more than his share of a load.

Drinking and driving to him were not new.

Many times he had driven after having more than a few.

Out of the bar he has to stumble.

For his keys he has to search and fumble.

With his vision blurred, he sees double.

To find the ignition, he has trouble.

He thinks he’s ready now to drive;

Someone soon will not be alive.

His car is swerving from side to side;

No place for the innocent to run or hide.

Rounding a curve, he’s over too far;

Head-on he crashes into another car.

The squealing of tires, then a horrible sound;

Death’s grip once again has been unbound.

Among the twisted wreckage upon the ground,

Her torn and lifeless body is found.

She had in a box a new wedding gown;

Then the drunk came along and mowed her down.

What could have been a happy bride and groom,

Was turned into a nightmare’s eerie gloom.

All that remains is a mute stone with her name.

For this terrible tragedy a drunk driver is to blame.

Cpl Rolf J. Wysock DSP T-6

Political Correctness has inundated our daily activities and seriously hinders the equitable adjudication of punishment by our legal system. Adding to the ridiculousness are judges who at times, sit on the fringe of lunacy. Those who know and speak the truth are routinely chastised and their voices ridiculed into silence by Political Correctness. Today and throughout past history, individuals who dare to speak out publicly and expose the truth are excoriated; at times even suffer character assassination. Prejudices are what fools use for reason. Voltaire (1694-1778) Of course it is much easier to indoctrinate and sway the gullible masses to believe that society is at fault and that the government is the solution; Lenin’s experiment in 1917 failed. The narrow-minded and sociopaths are prone to convict an entire group for the misdeeds of a very few. (Author)

Sometimes the law defends plunder and participants in it. Thus the beneficiaries are spared the shame and danger that their acts would otherwise involve…But how is this legal plunder to be identified? Quite simply. See if the law takes from some persons what belongs to them and gives it to the other persons to whom it doesn’t belong. See if the law benefits one citizen at the expense of another by doing what the citizen himself cannot do without committing a crime. Then abolish the law without delay…No legal plunder; this is the principle of justice, peace, order, stability, harmony and logic.

Frederic Bastiat, The Law

As Voltaire (1694-1778) so aptly put it, Work helps to preserve us from three evils – weariness, vice, and want. Then who has been deprived of an opportunity to better themselves? Is it a lack of opportunity? Really…? What about proper parenting, self respect, moral values, taking responsibility for your actions, accepting fatherhood, obedience to law and order or no dependency on government handouts? Equality, a term continuously referred to, is a Utopian dream and a mitigated failure waiting to be awakened by the Alptraum, the nightmare of reality and discover that everybody is "NOT" a winner. "Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game. (Voltaire (1694-1778) Instead of encouraging individuals to do their very best, they are urged to simply accept that trying your best is sufficient. These mindless wonders may even suggest we recognize the fact that they tried; never mind how hard. The claim for equality demands that we don’t make things too complicated, allow others to catch up and avoid running the risk of possibly embarrassing or alienating them! Allowing the lack of common sense to prevail and left unchecked gradually mutates into stupidity. (Author)

"Nonviolence is the answer to the political and moral questions of our time; the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence.

Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.

Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968),

Acceptance speech of the Nobel Peace Prize

[December 11, 1964]

Those arrested for criminal acts blame and hate the police; despite overwhelming evidence proving otherwise. Sadly this blatant hypocrisy frequently explodes into a crescendo of hatred towards Law Enforcement and the brutal murder of totally innocent police officers; whose only crime was that they wore a uniform and enforced the law. Society, regardless of status, demands the right to be protected from crime by its government. How is society planning to do that? The answer is simple, the POLICE. The longer society pretends not to hear the distant thunder of the impending storm, the more devastating will be the destruction of common sense and logical reasoning. Those who refuse to accept legal proof that contradicts their beliefs, do so because it often challenges their intellectual qualities and exposes their prejudicial nature. (Author)

Unfortunately unbiased reporting and revelation of the truth is something the Media are loath to reveal. Officials deceptively skirt the truth and conveniently avoid answering questions such as: Why do law-abiding persons rarely have a conflict with police and instead prefer courts to settle a questionable issue? "Why are the majority of all cases involving confrontations with police initiated by individuals of questionable character, criminal involvement or lengthy criminal records? Why is there acquiescence to their demand for Instant gratification through demented street justice; wrongfully challenging sanctioned interpretations of the Legal System? Those who know are ridiculed and chastised into silence. (Author) Effective control of established legal authority has been diluted by a lack of education, self-respect, as well as an unwillingness or inability to rationalize. Quoting Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), There is no sin except stupidity. According to Paul Tabori (1908-1974), Stupidity does hurt – only it seldom hurts the stupid. It is virtually impossible to imagine the cost of stupidity; our prisons are full. Disturbingly, a large segment of our society deliberately refuses to accept these findings and recreate the police into the villains and the suspect into innocent victims. Police are there to help you but not to kiss your ass. "Persons who fail to respect the rights of others failed to develop self-respect; and that starts at home." (Author)

"Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thought-crime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. Every concept that can ever be needed will be expressed by exactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined and all its subsidiary meanings rubbed out and forgotten….The process will still be continuing long after you and I are dead. Every year fewer and fewer words and the range of consciousness always a little smaller. Even now, of course, there’s no reason or excuse for committing thought-crime. It’s merely a question of self-discipline, reality-control. But in the end there won’t be any need even for that….Has it ever occurred to you, Winston, that by the year 2050, at the very latest, not a single human being will be alive who could understand such conversation as we are having now?

(Orwell, 1984)

Every stratum of our society is plagued by individuals who are quick to pass judgment. These misguided persons do not seem to realize, or even care that police officers are a product of the same society; theirs. Despite society’s proclivity to commit crime we demand that police officers are held to a much higher standard of morality and values. Therefore, the following questions must be asked. Are Police Officers different? Do Police Officers act differently? Do Police Officers think differently? Are Police Officers more selective with whom they associate? Are they quicker and often better in judging human character? Are they by nature, more law abiding? As a retired and active duty Law Enforcement officers we can unequivocally say, that 90% of us will answer yes!

Police officers are not only legally bound to follow strict guidelines of the law but are also required to adhere to Departmental Rules and Regulations. It cannot be denied that in the past police officers were occasional partners of political corruption; especially in large cities. According to the most recent studies, Police corruption is generally put at about 1%; or 10 police officers in a department of 1,000 personnel. Because a police officer’s transgression reflects upon the entire department, appropriate disciplinary action and corrective measures are frequently executed with a double-edged sword of Departmental Rules and Regulations and Civil Law. If you don’t believe that you are a part of the best; then what are you doing to make it the best? (Author) Unlike the civilian sector, once you are fired from a police department - You are finished in Law Enforcement.

The loss of even one human life at the hands of another human being will long be remembered and often never forgotten by some. The horrible tragedy of a shooting, especially a mass shooting is immediately followed by hysterical uproar demanding – Gun Control; controlled by emotion and void of logical reason. In our desperate attempt searching for a solution and appease a grief stricken society we skirt reality and point the accusatory finger at the wrong person; the law abiding and legal gun owner. Cities like Chicago, Detroit etc. which not only have the strictest gun-laws in the nation but also the highest crime rate prove that the proposal of even stricter gun laws is not the answer; the certainty of punishment for violating them is. Fear follows crime and is its punishment. Voltaire (1694-1778) It is not the gun that shoots; the finger pulls the trigger and fires the gun. We are told not to judge all Muslims by the many acts of a few, yet we judge all gun owners by the mindless actions of a few mentally disturbed individuals. You are you, and responsible for your own actions.

According to the most up-to-date research, police officers are very reluctant to shoot a suspect and wait until the last possible moment to engage; sadly sometimes too late. As a reward, they often suffer the pain of negative public sentiment that has been generated by mostly dubious, altered or totally prefabricated accusations.

Laws that forbid the carrying of arms…disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes. Can it be supposed that those who have the courage to violate the most sacred laws of humanity…will respect the less important and arbitrary ones…Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants, they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man.

Cesare Beccaria, 1809,

On Crimes and Punishment, 1764

Demands to adapt to a different and restricted lifestyle frequently placed on a police officer far exceed the expected norm of members of the general society. Honoring the oath of office and pride in the badge requires a much more cautious approach in selecting friends and associates; a proficiency in understanding human nature, an instant judge of character and the ability to pass sound judgment; a critical element in successful policing. Those who fail to develop the instinct and the ability to detect that something is amiss ahead of time, ought to consider another career.

Proposals ranging from lowering entrance requirements, disregarding low test scores to overlooking criminal convictions in an effort to achieve political appeasement and reduce anti police violence, is an absolute absurdity and an affront to Law Enforcement. Advances in technology, computerization and education are placing far greater demands and responsibility on today’s police officers and their profession. A failure to measurably enhance the requirements for future police officers is paving the road to guaranteed disaster.

Although police academies in general do a commendable job preparing recruits for public service, they are not able to prepare rookie cops for the gruesome side of the profession; the possible psychological consequences. The unusual aspects of the job demand handling cases involving human tragedy place the profession into a category by itself. Police officers are expected to perform their duties responsibly and with professional composure; regardless of the trying circumstances that often challenge the limits of their mental acumen. Police officers frequently apply their own particular type of humor in an effort to maintain control of unexpected or unusual situations; when appropriate. Unfortunately some fail to develop the unique abilities to cope with the stress and tragedy they are confronted by. The overall purpose of this book is to show that there is also a humorous side to policing that is often misunderstood and perhaps even considered grotesque by others; yet police officers will be able to understand and relate to it.

For some police response is welcomed, while a larger segment resents the uniformed presence. Officers must keep in mind that any wrongful action taken by them will reflect on their entire department. People in general do not like to be told what to do. Physical confrontations with police are extremely disproportionately initiated by a suspect or group. The anti-police attitude is not developed from a few contacts with police but taught; that seed already germinated some time ago. Sadly, many members of our political leadership choose to ignore the flashing warning signs and instead cover them with the absurd lunacy of Political Correctness. Revised and distorted history is being written to fit into the present political agenda and is deviously disseminated to the bi-pedal Lemmings who are unaware of the fact that they are approaching the abyss of cultural demise. Cunningly coerced, the well orchestrated deceit is hailed as a success by the unlearned throng. We must remember not to judge any public servant by one act, and especially should we beware of attacking the men who are merely the occasions and not the cause of disaster. (Theodore Roosevelt)

In order to fully understand the harsh reality of the conflicting relationship between society and police that is facing us today, we must go to the source of the problem; our present generation. Reiterating what has already been stated; turmoil has become not only expected but also accepted by a large segment of society. Family unity, the corner-stone and foundation of a well-functioning and productive society, is no longer valued. Far too many of our young people come from broken, unstable or single parent homes. Many troubled youths seek solace by joining gangs or listen to noise that, for a lack of a better word, is grossly misidentified nonsense and an insult to music. The absence of mature family guidance sadly fails to teach that respect for authority starts with self-respect. A lack of discipline has encouraged wrongdoing without the worry of possible consequences or punishment for a wrongful act that discards respect for authority. Parents themselves commit crimes or cover for their childdren’s wrongful acts. If a loophole in the law doesn’t get someone out of a bind, there is always a litany of canned B.S. blaming it on something else. Whatever happened to personal responsibility? Why even bother when it wasn’t really your fault. Those who blaspheme the name of all LAW ENFORCEMENT and violently oppose it are idiots and the disguised ilk of society. (Author)

Human prejudice is universal. It depends upon human need-self respect. There are so many ways in which the human mind can evade facts; none in which it can discard the desire for self approval. We men and women must try to think well of ourselves. And in order to achieve this end we have to disguise the truth from ourselves in a thousand ways. We deny, we forget, we explain away our own faults; we exaggerate the faults of others.

Ranyard West’s book,

Psychology and World Order

At a certain point in our life, however, we have to make a choice; either a life skirting the law or stay on the side of it. Is what Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968) so bravely fought for in vain? Was his profound message when accepting the Nobel Peace Prize [December 11, 1964] merely just a figure of speech?

"Nonviolence is the answer to the political and moral questions of our time; the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence.

Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love."

Either by design or genuinely unintended, Political Correctness has evolved into a road block that is exceedingly difficult to circumvent and blocks Law Enforcement efforts to solve the conflict within our society. Amicable cohabitation of different groups is possible through voluntary commitment but will never be accomplished by force; without resentment by the group that feels offended. If you were born in this country, or a naturalized citizen, adopt the American Way: Be an American.

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism….The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities.

Theodore Roosevelt,

Speech before the Knights of Columbus,

New York, [October 12, 1915}

G.M. Stratton in his "Social Psychology of International Conduct (1929), states: A feature of human nature to be prejudiced in this particular way. Notwithstanding its universality, racial prejudice is seldom or never innate. Perhaps Oscar Hammerstein’s lyrics in the movie South Pacific sum it up best – You’ve got to be taught to hate… Perhaps Voltaire (1694-1774),

Introduction

The distinct character of Police Humor may in essence be the duality of emotions and expressions. It is a universal norm to laugh out loud at times listening to a funny joke or watching a crazy act being performed; your reaction is your choice. What is the anticipated norm for a tormented police officer handling a gruesome accident or is confronted by tremendous carnage and death? Despite the revolting horror a police officer is expected to remain at the scene and complete the assignment; cope with it. They are aware of the fact that they will have to face many more grotesque tasks in the future and realize that they must find a way to mask the inner pain. Developing their own somber mood allows them to cope with those agonizing situations; as long as he/she wears a badge. That is why it is called Police Humor; hard to fully understand for those who never had to hide their tears from the public.

The reader is reminded once again that the following stories span an over a half century timeline and depict occasions when people spoke bluntly and unabashed; without fear of being labeled a Political Correctness heretic. Some of the anecdotes reflect moments of the past when respect not only for police, school, elders and our society in general were much more prevalent. It was a time when children were encouraged to stay in school and learn, not to fight and school teachers didn’t have to worry about their own safety in the classroom. Youngsters were not allowed to play until homework was completed and checked; they were expected to be home by dark. A simple: Do you want me to tell your mom or dad…? often solved the problem. It was a time when millions of Americans enjoyed watching the double entendre humor and were able to relate to shows like Burns and Allen, The Honeymooners, All in the Family, The Jefferson etc. Back then people used common sense and didn’t take offense, nor felt insulted or degraded by the use of certain words or particular phrases that today’s insane demands forbid; it was "comedy". People didn’t lose sight of reality and understood Don Rickles’ satirical humor and often laughed until they cried; it was only a joke. No one cared about a person’s sexual proclivity; that was their business. Do your thing, just leave me alone. Unfortunately too many of perhaps well intended changes for the betterment of society, in the form of Political Correctness, have created a plethora of unwanted or negative results.

Technology has made enormous strides to assist Law Enforcement and enhance investigators’ ability to fight crime. The unusual responses resorted to and actions taken in these stories by members of Law Enforcement were not committed with malice but for the purpose of inserting their special type of humor applicable to cope with the situation at that moment. Many of the changes made in our laws in an effort to appease opposing views in the quest for a hoped for desired solutions are dismal failures. They in fact contributed to it further. The advent of modern forensic technology and tremendous advances in our ability to communicate, Policing has changed considerably and will continue to do so. Unfortunately these changes have also contributed to the publics’ attitude and misperception towards Law Enforcement; which seem to be steadily and dangerously increasing. Despite this negativity threatening the security and stability of our society, members of Law Enforcement are determined to continue their valiant effort to protect society; including their undeclared enemy. However, one thing has remained the same; fighting criminals. Those who have deliberately committed a wrong, have nefarious intensions or refuse to apply common sense remain the primary target and concern of the Police.

No man is above the law and no man is below it; nor do we ask any man’s permission when we require of him to obey it. Obedience to the law is demanded as a right; not asked as a favor.

Theodore Roosevelt,

Third Annual Message on December 7, 1903

Humor In Blue

New on the job and testing his METTLE.

The brand new State trooper has no idea what to expect as he enters through the back door of the troop; certainly not when he reports for duty to the Desk Sergeant. Sir, recruit trooper .…… reporting for duty. With a stern look on his face the D/ Sgt looks at him and asks: What did you say your name was? Hoping that he is able to hide his apprehension, the recruit repeats his last name. Suddenly the D/Sgt yells: Jesus ‘effen’ Christ we already have enough dumb f*cking Pollacks in this troop and certainly don’t need another one. Shocked by the unbelievable reception the recruit trooper cautiously responds: I’m not Polish, that’s my adopted name. Frowning, the D/Sgt growls: What are you then? Although feeling extremely uncomfortable and hesitating to go on, the Rookie realizes that he has to endure the hazing in order to be accepted and very nervously replies: I’m German. From a back office, a loud male voice is heard: Damn, I thought that we killed all of you Nazi bastards. The young Rookie has enough and boldly responds: Well, you thought wrong. I tried to join the party but I was told that I was too damn young. Besides that, I had not learned how to read or write yet. So now you know the reason why I’m still here. The hearty laughter of the troopers apparently breaks the ice and verifies that he has passed the initiation. All of them stand up and shake his hand and welcome him. In a much friendlier tone the D/Sgt says to the Rookie: "You will be riding trooper T…, your FTO (Field Training Officer)." How can the Rookie possibly know that he has just been through only the first phase of the initiation? There is more to come? (Cont’d.)

Where is the turd?

The rookie trooper feels relieved that the initiation is over and he passed. That is until the back door to the troop flies open and in walks trooper T…. Although quite young and obviously does not have that many years under his belt, he acts like an Old Salt. When he spots the young rookie he snarls: Are you the new turd? The very moment he stepped through the door, the Rookie already gave him a mental once over and thought: My God if we get into a real fight, this guy couldn’t beat his way out of a wet paper bag, yet alone out of a real fight. Looking at his FTO, the Rookie simply nods his head while thinking: "Oh my God, is this going