In the Blink of an Eye

A

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NDING

CHAPTER ONE

The Hour and the Day

May 1866

Before he left for Edinburgh, Malcolm Scobie, minister of the Free Kirk in Blairgowrie, spoke to his housekeeper and to his beadle, explaining he’d be gone for two days but back in plenty of time to compose his Sunday sermon. He also took it into his head to write to Louisa.

My Dear,

I am on my way to Auld Reekie for the first time in all these years, and I can’t bring the place to mind without thinking of you. The pretext for my journey is the unveiling of the Disruption Painting, and in seeing it I plan to celebrate the very thing it depicts – the day in ’43 when four hundred ministers, my good self amongst them, walked away from a church beholden to earthly masters and set up a Free Kirk which truly glorifies God.

Of course, my dearie, I know only too well how, on that day, I threw away both your father’s trust and your affection. Nor have I told you how much it vexed me, and so I am telling you now, albeit belatedly, of the doubts that assailed me then and still, in the wee small hours, wing their way into my thoughts and perturb my dreams.

You will remember, I’m sure, how every dissenting minister was photographed by the artist, Mr D.O. Hill, captured in the blink of an eye, so that he could include us in the painting at his leisure. When I see myself in that company and am reminded of my part in God’s work, surely I will cast my doubts aside.

Your father was right to warn me that my existence after the Disruption would be a mean and difficult one and I never did blame you for not following me on my Great Adventure. In all that time of missing you, I prayed you found warmth and companionship with your family or, even better, the love of a less troubled and troublesome soul than mine.

If this letter reaches you (I am sending it to your father’s house) you may like to think of me embarking on this shorter journey in which I mark the ending of the one I began so long ago.

May God’s Blessings be on you!

Your loving friend,

Malcolm Scobie

He sealed the letter and addressed it. He might as well post it in Edinburgh and so he laid it between the pages of the Bible he would carry with him on his way.

After spending the night with an uncle in Granton, Scobie took an omnibus to Princes Street and walked eastwards to the Calton Rooms where the painting was on display. The Monument to Scott, completed not long after the Disruption, soared upwards but he did not let his eyes follow its spire into the heavens or allow his thoughts to linger on the marble figures gazing down on him from their lofty plinths. There would be time to wonder at man’s ingenuity when he had made his peace with God.

At the junction of the North Bridge, where all of Edinburgh converged in a hubbub, he was obliged to stop. Carriages clattered up from Leith Row, wheeling into the station where he had disembarked the night before, or carried on up the cobbles to the Old Town. Folk going about their business pushed past those who had come only to stop and stare. Above them, sea-gulls wheeled and dipped towards a group of fishwives standing with their creels on the corner, their cries of Caller herring! as piercing as those of the birds. The whiff of sea air was something he had missed in Perthshire.

In the Calton Convening Rooms, those whom God or Art had brought together were enjoying a morning of conviviality. If Scobie had come in search of reverential silence, he had come at the wrong time. Under the lantern ceiling, the noise of conversation, in some cases disputation, rose around and above him like a cloud of bees let out from a hive. The painting – so big it spanned the whole room – was on a dais raised above the floor by a good four feet, but Scobie was too far from it to get a feel for any of the detail or to distinguish where the human flesh of the onlookers ended and the oil paint began. It was at least to his advantage that he was neither especially tall nor encumbered by a companion and he was able, by squirming between tailcoats and sidestepping out-thrust elbows, to manoeuvre his way to the very front row of onlookers and take in the painted scene that was the cause of such excitement.

Scobie had never had the opportunity to appreciate art other than the stained glass windows in the kirk of his childhood and the engraved plates in books kept at home on a shelf he couldn’t reach until he was ten. In fact his interest in Louisa had been piqued by her resemblance to a plate in one of those books which had the name Gainsborough printed underneath.

Neither this nor anything else had prepared him for what he now saw. The ministers were painted, row upon row, in a manner that made each countenance lifelike. Their bodies were by comparison strangely uniform, and as a result each face bore an individuality that verged on the grotesque. Unnerved by so many eyes looking back at him, Scobie instinctively stepped back.

A voice at his elbow said, ‘What do you think?’

Another man of the cloth had joined him. His grey grizzled hair and deeply furrowed forehead put him twenty years older than Scobie.

‘I’ve never seen anything like it,’ Scobie said.

The stranger stretched out a hand. ‘Walter Fairlie, Gilmerton.’

Scobie returned the handshake. ‘Malcolm Scobie, from Blairgowrie.’

Fairlie was frowning at the painting, his eyes moving slowly from face to face while Scobie studied the overall composition. In the centre of the painting, Thomas Chalmers, leader of the Disruption, stood in a pool of light, as if receiving the blessing of Heaven. In front of him the leaders of the new Kirk were signing the Deed of Demission, the pledge that would free them from their old dispensations. Around this group, the dissenting ministers, riding a swell of emotion, made a sea of bobbing heads.

‘He has Chalmers, that’s for sure,’ Scobie said.

Fairlie had lapsed into silence which he broke by throwing back his head and giving a bark of laughter. Scobie followed the line of his finger and had no trouble recognising his companion in the painting, just to the left of centre. Twenty years might have passed but not much had changed in the face of Walter Fairlie, except that it was now wreathed in smiles.

‘That’s you all right,’ Scobie said.

Try though he might, he found it hard to pick himself out, perhaps because filling the background and the corners, and insinuating themselves into the crowd of ministers, were faces belonging to all manner of folk, few of whom he recognised.

Walter Fairlie was clearly better versed in Edinburgh society and jogged his memory. ‘Hugh Miller,’ he said of a tartan-clad figure in the foreground. Miller, a writer and Chalmers’ staunch ally had died, Scobie thought, some time ago. The same could likely be said of many others. From that day to this was a span of twenty-three years.

Just off centre there was a striking figure with dark blond hair – Mr Hill, the artist. Behind him stood a young man, ignoring the crowd as he peered downwards into a box, a camera in fact. Scobie groped for his name. ‘Hill’s partner? He was never there that day.’

Fairlie nodded. ‘Robert Adamson, I remember, from St Andrews.’ He grimaced, and laid his finger by his nose. ‘Artistic license, isn’t that what they cry it?’

Scobie puffed out his cheeks. If the painting celebrated churchmen, it was others that caught the eye: a group of fishermen peeking in at the skylight, on one side a crowd of women in the fashions of the day, and, in the foreground, a man in Eastern dress.

‘So what about you?’ Fairlie said.

Edging closer to the front, Scobie scanned the faces again. He tried to remember were he had stood and who had been next to him, but that was no help. The artist had repositioned everything and everybody. A few friends and teachers from his student days slid into familiar focus but most remained stubbornly unknown.

The air in the room was dense with the heat of the crowd and beside him Fairlie shifted in discomfort. Scobie stepped back and said, ‘Let’s go.’ One thing was clear. Half the folk of Edinburgh might be in the painting, but he was not among them.

Outside on the pavement, the two men drew breath.

‘Did you no sit for a calotype?’ Fairlie said.

Straight ahead, only a few hundred yards away, was a row of grey stone houses set on the flank of Calton Hill. Had Scobie imagined entering a dim parlour in the furthest of them, waiting his turn for the camera? He shrugged away his confusion. ‘I mind it well. Two days after the Disruption, I was called to Rock House. My picture was taken outside, with three others.’

These days the camera was commonplace. Mrs Dewar, the organist’s wife, had recently got herself cartes de visites, the cause of some rolling of eyes. Who will she call on who doesn’t already ken her? they said. Nor was the photograph a thing of great beauty, although its subject had by all accounts bought a new hat for the occasion. He did not think that Louisa, who had stopped answering his letters after a month, would have a carte de visite, though if she had a husband, they might have a family picture on the sideboard.

Back in ‘43, calotypes, as they called them, had been entirely new. As Scobie sat in line, a Bible on his knees, he had thought of how God would surely reward him for his faith. In that moment he’d been blind to the sacrifices ahead: or maybe as guilty of hubris as any of those who had cleaved to the old Kirk.

‘The sun was in our eyes. I mind that,’ Fairlie joined in with his own reminiscence, ‘but yon Hill kept our spirits up, chaffing us about being bathed in the Light of Righteousness.’

Scobie’s laugh was without humour. ‘Or the limelight. Whichever it was, it did me no favour, since he didn’t think to put me in the picture.’

Fairlie gave him a sideways look. ‘Or in the years that have passed, maybe some of they calotypes just got lost.’

Quite likely, thought Scobie, but it was hard not to find some irony in his absence from the painting he had come all this way to see. Could it even be some comment on his own plight – a soul that had got lost along with the artist’s photograph?

He shook himself, as if something hidden in the folds of his cassock might fall out and reveal itself; his younger self, the purpose of his visit. Nor was it just the absence of his face that rankled. ‘I never had much understanding of the arts.’

‘You don’t like it then, the painting?’

Scobie sighed. ‘I’d just like to know how he set about it and what meaning there is to all those folk being there.’

‘I daresay he had his reasons,’ Fairlie said, ‘artistic or otherwise.’ He was looking up and down the street which was as hectic as when Scobie had arrived. ‘So will I see you at the Assembly?’

The showing of the painting had been planned to coincide with the annual meeting of the Free Kirk. Scobie shook his head. ‘I’ve never been a delegate. And I need to be away home.’ He had hoped to go back to Blairgowrie with new conviction and a glowing report of the painting. The kirk session might even order a copy and the congregation admire his place in it. Now the only topic he could think of for his Sunday sermon was vanity and how he had fallen prey to its temptations.

‘If you came only for the painting,’ Fairlie said. ‘I’m no surprised you’re disappointed.’ He looked at Scobie directly, his eyes as sharp as flints. With a jolt of awareness, Scobie felt called to account. ‘But if you have an hour to spare, why don’t we go back there, you and I?’

Back where? Scobie might have asked, but Fairlie was already on his way, not along Princes Street or following the pavement that turned towards Waverly Bridge, but across the busy road. Scobie could do nothing but wait for a gap in the welter of traffic and follow in his wake.

And so they stood, as they had done all those years before, in front of St Andrews Kirk, the tallest and most graceful spire in the city. Fairlie’s eyes were on the spot where the steeple disappeared into the milky haze of the mid-day sky.

‘Come, and the works that God hath wrought with admiration see.’

The psalmist’s response came easily to Scobie,

‘In his working to the sons of men, most terrible is He.’

Fairlie’s grunt was dismissive. ‘St Andrews was always a wee bit fancy for the Dissenters.’

Scobie knew from bitter experience that a ramshackle church was no encouragement to worship but he laughed his agreement. He felt the buds of a new friendship forming and would not be the one to stunt their growth. Opening his shoulders to the air blowing up from the Forth, he felt an awakening that hadn’t taken place in front of the painting. Maybe the day wasn’t wasted after all.

Fairlie must have caught the change in his mood. ‘A painting is just a painting and will be more pleasing to some than to others. What matters is the part we play.’ Again the flinty look. ‘So will we go?’

This time there was no doubting his meaning. They would walk from the spot where they had left the old Assembly and retrace the steps the dissenters had taken: up and over Hanover Street, Dundas Street and Pitt Street; by Brandon Street and Canon Mills, over the Water of Leith to Tanfield Hall, the incongruous building where the new Kirk had been born.

They kept to an even pace as far as the crowded pavements allowed.

‘You must have been new to the ministry back then,’ Fairlie said.

‘I was only just ordained.’

And full of the neophyte’s fervour, the desire for faith, for absolute conviction. The Kirk needed to be freed from the shackles of the landowners and the courts. It was the cost that still rankled.

‘I was sent to a country parish.’ His first living, if you could call it that, had tested him with its devout but poor congregation. There were hardly enough of them to support a minister.

‘We must go where we are called,’ Fairlie said.

Which is what he had told Louisa. ‘Why don’t you just stop up your ears?’ she had said. ‘Can you not serve God and be paid for it?’ She didn’t understand that in the old Kirk there was no security, not any longer.

Where the pavement narrowed, he and Fairlie stopped to let a heavy carriage trundle past. ‘And have you always been in Gilmerton?’ Scobie knew of the village, just west of the city.

‘We were lucky. My wife and I had means and we bought our own house. The congregation pulled together and built a new Kirk close by, not the most handsome, but you know what the Lord said. Where two or three are gathered together.’

The text was all too familiar. In Scobie’s first tenure, they struggled to find anywhere to worship. As for living quarters, he had a box-bed in the home of one of the elders whose wife’s staple offering of boiled neeps never left the fabric of the building. It was five years before he was called to the town of Blairgowrie, with its new manse and more appreciative flock.

‘There’s a Mrs Scobie?’

He shook his head. ‘There was somebody, here in Edinburgh, but her father was against it.’

‘Och, that’s lang syne,’ Fairlie objected. ‘The job’s far easier with a lady in the manse.’

Scobie was impressed by Fairlie’s understanding. The ministry might be a vocation but the carrying out of it was a job, one that was made easier by having a companion. Amongst his congregation there were two sisters who invited him to their home on a regular basis and plied him with as many drams or cups of tea as the season allowed. Elspeth Crawford, daughter of the session clerk and a teacher in the Sunday School, was kind to him in ways a man who cultivated loneliness didn’t deserve. But he had brushed Elspeth aside, knowing that in his heart he only had room for Louisa. He felt in his pocket for his Bible and the letter folded inside.

On the brow of the hill they stopped to get their breath back. Tanfield was hidden by the fall in the land yet the Forth, with its fishing boats and morning haars, looked only a step away. Scobie examined the buildings on either side of the street, looking for the faces that had crammed the windows as the ministers filed past. They stared back at him, empty, except for one where the curtain was drawn aside only to be quickly pulled back again. One thing could never be regained: the silence of the solemn procession of ‘43 was obliterated here, as everywhere else, by the clatter of wheels and the rumble of distant trains.

The Moorish roof of Tanfield rose into view. The old gasworks hall was an odd place for the ministers to meet but the only room close enough and big enough to hold them all. As he and Fairlie crossed over the Water of Leith, bloated with spring rain, the silent shadow of the hall loomed over them and Scobie’s heart became a weight in his chest. ‘Will we go in?’

He stepped forward to try the door but it was locked. Fairlie, closer to him than he realised, spoke in his ear and Scobie was shocked by the warmth of the old man’s breath on his cheek. ‘I maun leave you now. For I’m away home and only you can find what you came for.’

Scobie, expecting he and Fairlie would walk together back to Princes Street, was caught out. He would have offered thanks for the other man’s company, but Fairlie was already walking away and didn’t hear the farewell Scobie called after him.

The sun had dimmed to pewter. The pilgrimage was over and Scobie knew that neither his