Think Again!: Clearing Away the Brain Fog of Menopause
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About this ebook
When the changes of menopause start happening, it seems that our ability to concentrate, complete tasks, and remember simple, little, everyday things (like our own names) goes out the window.
It can feel like you’re losing your mind (or at least your glasses)!
In Think Again!, Jeanne Andrus tackles “brain fog” —a term she uses for the symptoms of menopause that affect the way you think. She covers why they happen, what they feel like, and how to tell when these might be symptoms of a more serious issue.
More importantly, she covers how you can cope with these changes in your daily life, including how you can optimize your approach to brain health to make sure you can “think again” for the rest of your life.
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Think Again! - Jeanne D. Andrus
Introduction
Let’s talk about menopause and how it changes women. Especially how it changes their thinking. In fact, let’s get personal. Let me tell you about how it changed me—about my experience with brain fog and the other ways menopause seems to attack our brains.
I used to be one of those people
—you know them. They never need a list, they never forget a name, they always know where to look for their car keys, not because they always put them in the same place, but because they remembered they put them in the refrigerator. I can’t believe I’m admitting that I was such an annoying type of person. Just kidding, of course, and if you were one of those people, you know exactly what I mean. It’s hard to believe now that that was me.
When the changes of menopause, the ones that happened to my brain, happened to me, I freaked out. Frequently. Partly because I forgot things—big things, little things, any things. Partly because I found myself constantly starting over or going to turn in a report or a project only to realize that I’d only written half of the most important paragraph. And partly because I just didn’t feel sharp, present, or smart anymore. I felt like my brain was wrapped in cotton candy, and it didn’t even taste very good.
Oh, when I was younger, there were hints of it. I sometimes got a bad case of walked through a door and forgot why I’m here.
I had my own special version of that. My brain had two separate calendars: work things and not work things. It was easy to double book myself if there was a work thing
and a not work thing
happening at the same time. I did that when my son was in high school and I’d invariably schedule a late afternoon meeting on the day of his big cross-country meet. But, back then, I thought of those as my adorable little foibles,
and didn’t give them a second thought.
So, when it seemed like my brain stopped working, that’s when I got scared! Sure, the weight gain of perimenopause was annoying. And I wasn’t wild about the wrinkles and gray hair (especially the way my gray was coming in). And, no, I didn’t like that my periods weren’t predictable. But when it came to my brain? Well, that was a different matter. That’s when things got serious. Things got really serious.
If you’re reading this book, I expect it’s because you’d like to understand what’s happening to you and your brain as you go through the process of menopause. Or maybe just what might happen to you. Even more importantly, you’d like to fix it. You’d like to think again. To have the fog lift. To be able to concentrate. To stop feeling like you’re more distractible than a four-year-old boy at Disney World.
What this book is all about is what’s going on in your brain (and the science behind it) and what you can do about it—because menopause doesn’t have to be misery. I’ll even help you find the magic.
Let’s get started.
Chapter One
The Gift of Fog
Several years ago, when I started exploring the topic that just kept coming up for me—menopause—I realized that there were gifts and wisdom in many of the symptoms we experience. In each of my books, I have tried to explore the message, the wisdom, of the changes that occur, the symptoms that annoy us. These messages are often personal and, by listening to them, you can determine why you, in particular, might experience a specific symptom as more annoying or pervasive or intrusive.
I’ve tried to make it clear that I consider menopause to be a true gift to women, one that allows us to turn back into our deepest core and examine the life we’ve lived to date and decide what more we want to draw into our lives and experience now that we are older.
But, it hasn’t always been easy seeing the gift in some of the more annoying symptoms. As for brain fog and the memory and thinking issues we’re exploring here? This is probably the hardest one for me to find the gift in. It’s hard for me to even consider that there might be a silver lining
to brain fog—much less a gem of untold worth in it—because we’re talking about my (and your) beautiful brains here! The ones that have gotten us this far, with whatever grace and elegance and brilliance they’ve had. They’re the ones that hold the pictures of our babies, that took us through school, that communicate and direct and control. If my brain is on the fritz, I’m in big trouble. Aren’t you?
I’m going take you with me on the journey I experienced as I prepared to write this chapter, because, even though I’d committed to telling you what the gift of brain fog is, I had no idea myself what it was.
Until this week, when the lock magically opened itself for me.
The Walk
Like many of you, I am inordinately proud of my kid (I only have one; if I had more, I’d be proud of them, too). And I am incredibly in love with my grandson, who just turned one year old as I have been writing this book. I lament daily the reality of the 1,800 miles or so that separate our homes and that mean I see my son and my grandson so rarely. So, when a business trip took me close enough to where they live for me to detour to join in the festivities for my grandson’s first birthday, I jumped at the opportunity.
Saturday, of course, was filled with watching a child smash his first birthday cake into his high chair tray, his clothes, and his hair. My ex was there, so I also got caught up with the superficialities of his life and let him have a glimpse into mine. I admired my son’s equanimity with the chaos in his life and delighted in getting to know the new person in my life—my grandson—on a whole new level.
Then came Sunday. My daughter-in-law was off to run a half-marathon, and I was delighted to have my son and grandson to myself for the day. (Hey, nothing against her, but what mom doesn’t get excited for a date with the two most captivating men she knows?)
A drizzly, late fall day in northern New England may not be what everyone considers perfect hiking weather, but my son assured me that there was nothing his little guy liked more than a ride on his daddy’s back through the woods. So we bundled up and headed out to one of their favorite trails. As the access road wound up the mountain, I watched the drizzle on the windshield turn to spitting snow and felt my own delighted anticipation. New Orleans, my home, might have lots of things, but opportunities for going hiking in weather like that isn’t among them.
As we pulled in to a parking area, my son explained his trail choice. It’s funny,
he said. People think I’m nuts for preferring weather like this and for choosing trails that don’t have the big vistas, the great views. But, really, being out here today, in this foggy weather, encourages me to look at all the small things, to examine what I see right here in front of me.
For the next two hours, we looked. We saw. We examined. We communed and reconnected with each other, with ourselves, and with the earth. We never reached a scenic overlook
and, even if we had, there’d have been nothing to see but clouds. We never saw the other mountains surrounding us or even had a sense that there was anything beyond the small section of trail we covered. But there was a richness in what we did see and feel and experience and that brings a taste and a smell to my mind from just the act of describing it here.
The sky didn’t part, a rainbow didn’t appear, the sword didn’t rise from the water. And yet, I felt, in those moments, during that hike, the clicking of the first tumbler of that lock. 22 Right.
The Circle
Two days later, I left for my business meeting. But the business meeting was more than only business. It was a mastermind get-together, a trust circle, and a prayer meeting, too. It was a house party and a reunion and a gathering of the sisterhood in utmost solemnity and hilarity. What happened for most of the week is not mine to tell. But this next part I’m going to tell you is.
We gathered in a circle to celebrate not one, but the three birthdays among us that occurred during our time together. It was a joyous celebration of three amazing colleagues that turned even more special as we reflected on the special qualities each of us, not just our birthday girls,
brought to our collaborations. As I took my place in the center of the circle, I reflected on being the focus of everyone’s attention as my qualities, strengths, and persona were reflected back to me through the mirror of my peers. I was being made aware of what they saw in me, and of being forced to acknowledge those things in myself.
Now, you might be scratching your head a little here. That was supposed to be all positive stuff they were telling me, right? What could be so difficult about hearing all kinds of wonderful stuff about yourself? Why would that be daunting or intimidating or scary? Let me assure you that when the circle is comprised of some of the women you admire most in the world, when some are your mentors and coaches, and when all of them have dared and accomplished so much in their lives, it can be daunting and intimidating to hear what they share. And if you’ve lived a life never quite sure that your perception of yourself is correct, it can be scary.
I will cherish each and every word shared with me that night. I will revel in the traits they saw in me and shared with me, because they acknowledged that the person I want to be is showing up visibly, beyond the dreams and goals in my mind.
One part of that journey of discovery was the unveiling of the gift of changes in the way we think.
One woman spoke of my journey of self-discovery and how, over the time we’d known each other, she’d seen me knock at the door of self-awareness over and over. Even as I’d been frustrated and thwarted in moving down my path, I kept moving into deeper awareness of who I am as a person, as a woman, as crone.
As she spoke, I realized how important the traveling of that path of self-knowledge has been for me, and how that path has paralleled my path to health and my journey as an author, a coach, and an advocate