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    I Still Miss You Honey
    I Still Miss You Honey
    I Still Miss You Honey
    Ebook78 pages45 minutes

    I Still Miss You Honey

    By Gisele L. Smith

    ()

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    About this ebook

    I Still Miss You Honey is a true and personal story detailing the hardships and struggles of unexpectedly losing a loved one.
    Written by Gisele Smith, this raw and emotional text focuses on the ups and downs of daytoday life for her and her two teenage sons after the death of their father, Edward J. Smith.

    Smith began writing the book shortly after her husband’s death as an outlet for her frustration and grief. She explains how her and her boys managed to overcome the seemingly impossible task of restoring their lives to normal in the face of severe debt, the resulting loss of their home, and more.

    After sharing her story with friends and family, they urged her to publish her book so that others who have experienced similar loss might feel comfort in knowing they are not alone, and to learn from her triumphs and failures alike.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLulu.com
    Release dateJun 1, 2015
    ISBN9781329182271
    I Still Miss You Honey

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      Book preview

      I Still Miss You Honey - Gisele L. Smith

      I Still Miss You Honey

      I Still Miss You Honey

      By Gisele L. Smith

      Copyright © 2015, Gisele L. Smith

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

      ISBN: 978-1-329-18227-1

      Dedication

      This book is dedicated to Eddy, Mikey and Jackie.

      Thanks for always making me laugh.

      I love you.

      Introduction

      I know I'm not the first person who has lost a loved one and I know I won't be the last.  It's going on three years now.  I thought it would get easier as time went by.  However, I don't find that to be true.  I suppose you just get use to that person being gone.  But I don't think it gets easier.  Once in awhile, I'll see something or hear something that just reminds me of him.  Something that just makes my heart go ''ping'' or triggers my mind to think...''Oh, I have to remember to tell Ed...'', then I realize, no I don't.  Ed's not here anymore.  I think the thing that has always bothered me the most is knowing that I will never hear his voice again.  I'll also never be able to give him a kiss.  Tell him that I love him.  Knowing that I can no longer do those things always breaks my heart.

      I know you can never be sure of anything in this life but one thing I am sure about is that I'm not fond of death.  I've seen way too much of it in the last few years.  I lost my brother, Bobby, back in 2003.  Then, I lost my husband, Ed, in 2008.  And, if that wasn't enough, my other brother, Peter, died unexpectedly in 2011.  That was a crushing blow for everyone in the family and all of us are still having a rough time dealing with it.  I still have a hard time looking at pictures of his smiling face.  I want to call him and ask him what's going on.  But, as far as I know, no one has figured out the phone system in Heaven yet....

      People always say to me that they can't believe how strong I am.  Strong?  I don't think I'm strong.  I just know that when something tragic or upsetting happens in a family it's not going to do anyone any good if you fall apart.  Someone has to figure things out and hold it all together.  That someone was me when my husband died.

      Our sons Eddy and Mikey were 19 and 17 years old when their father died.  That's so incredibly young to lose a parent.  And through the whole process I had to figure everything out, hold everything together, make sure that they both knew that everything was going to be alright.  What neither of our sons knew was that every night, when I went to bed, I would cry uncontrollably for a long time.  I didn't need to breakdown in front of them for them to know I was hurting.  I did, a few times.  But when I went to bed, I just couldn't get Ed out of my mind.  That's when I really lost control.  I don't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but it worked for me.

      1

      There was so much adjusting to do.  I had never balanced a checkbook, never paid the bills and had no idea about how much heating oil I should buy or who to buy it from.  I was completely thrown and panicked by all of this, but, I pulled up my britches and figured it all out.  I didn't scour in a corner and suck my

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