Accepted! 50 Successful College Admission Essays

CHAPTER ONE

THE ALMIGHTY ADMISSION ESSAY

In this chapter you will learn:

•  Why the admission essay is critical to your college acceptance or rejection

•  Why college admission is an art and not a science

•  Who we are & what we can teach you about writing a successful college admission essay

Why The Admission Essay Is Critical

It is your moment. Your application is about to be read by the admission officer at the college you really want to attend. Unfortunately, it has been a long week, and she has already reviewed hundreds of applications from other students. Many of these students have similar grades, test scores and activities. So what will set your application apart from the others? What will keep your application out of the dreaded pile of denials?

The answer is your college admission essay.

The essay is your single greatest opportunity to distinguish yourself as an individual by sharing who you are, what you have learned and what motivates you. In this decision-making moment, will your essay make the most of this opportunity, or will it fall flat on its face?

It all depends on you. You are the creator of your essay, and your effort and skill will determine its fate. But while your future is in your hands, you are not alone. We are here to help. This book will help increase your chances of writing an essay that makes a difference and helps you to receive that coveted thick envelope—an acceptance letter from the college of your dreams. In this book you will learn how to:

See why colleges value essays. By understanding why colleges require essays and what they hope to learn about you from them, you’ll have the insight you need to write a powerful essay.

Select the right topic for you. The right essay topic allows you to write with passion and insight. With the wrong topic, you may be afflicted with time-consuming writer’s block or even worse write a lackluster, emotionless essay.

Write a successful essay that works. Our comprehensive writing chapters guide you through the entire process. We take you through the first word on the page to the last period in the conclusion. These are strategies that you need to know to write a successful essay.

Avoid costly mistakes. Learn from our 25 essay disasters the common mistakes that can kill any essay and how you can avoid them.

College Admission: Art Or Science?

The former senior associate director of admissions at Yale University discusses the art of college admission

It would be great if college admission were a science with a simple formula to determine whether you were accepted or denied. Grades of x plus test scores of y equal guaranteed admission to colleges a, b and c. It would certainly reduce your stress level to know where you stood in the process.

But the reality is that no single score or grade is a complete reflection of who you are. And college admission is more complicated than a simple formula of x + y = z. It is more accurate to think of college admission not as a science but as an art.

Colleges want to know you both as a person and as a student. They want to accept those who will add to the campus both inside and outside of the classroom. While scores and grades can tell colleges about your academic performance, the essay and other parts of the application reveal more about you as an individual.

We asked Lloyd Peterson, former senior associate director of admissions at Yale University and former dean of admissions at Vassar College, to answer the question: Is college admission an art or a science?

I think college admission is much more of an art today than it was 20 years ago. There are fewer decisions made today based on matrices or indices. More decisions are made on qualitative factors and on a stronger balance between preparation and potential, he says.

Peterson says admission officers are aware that this system is not good for your blood pressure. He recalls, Many moons ago it was more methodical and formulaic. Now it’s more like a chess match, which drives the public crazy. The public wants a blueprint. They do not want to wallow around in the gray area. But it’s that gray area that makes our job an art.

Considering the selectivity of colleges and the fact that American institutions are the highest rated in the world, it appears that this system, while not perfect, works in matching the right students to the right school.

Save time with recycling. By reusing and editing your writing, you can use one essay for multiple applications. We share tested techniques for doing this effectively.

Understand what colleges want to see in your essay—direct from admission officers. Our distinguished panel of admission officers explain in their own words what qualities make or break essays. This is your opportunity to pick the brains of these experts who have determined the fates of thousands of other applicants like you.

Be inspired from the success of other students’ essays. We have brought together over 50 successful essays written by a wide variety of students. Get insight into what worked for these students to gain admission to their dream colleges including Harvard, Princeton, Stanford, Yale, Duke, MIT, University of Pennsylvania, UC-Berkeley, USC, Northwestern, Brown, Cornell, Bard, William and Mary, University of Chicago, University of Michigan, Dartmouth, Rice and more.

In short, this book gives you everything you need to take control of your essay and create the best one possible. It is critical that through your essay you (figuratively, of course!) grab the admission officer by the collar and give her a reason to admit you. By reading this book you are taking the first steps toward this goal.

What We Can Teach You About Successful Admission Essays

You may be wondering who we are and what we know about writing successful essays. As the authors of 14 books on admission and scholarships including, Get into Any College, Get Free Cash for College and 1001 Ways to Pay for College, we have had the pleasure of meeting thousands of students and admission officers. In writing this book, we conducted extensive research and interviews with both students and admission officers.

But perhaps more important than this research is the fact that we’ve been in your shoes. When we applied to colleges, we spent countless late nights agonizing over our essays, fighting cases of writer’s block and writing and editing draft after draft. Fortunately, through a combination of hard work, helpful editors and a little bit of luck, we were able to write successful essays and were accepted to every college that we applied to including all the Ivy League colleges. You can even read two of our essays in this book.

We wrote this book so that you would not have to endure the same struggles that we did and that the three million other students who apply to college each year face.

The sum total of our experience, research and know-how is contained within these pages. If you follow the writing strategies and learn from the successful essays, you too can write a powerful admission essay that will help you get into the college of your dreams.

CHAPTER TWO

THE INGREDIENTS OF THE ESSAY

In this chapter you will learn:

•  Essay questions you are likely to face

•  If college essay questions are really trick questions

•  Extra precautions for applying online

Why You Should Care About The Essay

The ancient Chinese general Sun Tzu once wrote, To know your enemy is to defeat your enemy. Good advice. And while the essay is not your enemy—although at times you may feel that it is—the principle is still the same: Understand what you’re up against. So before we jump into the strategies used to write a successful essay, let’s be sure that you understand exactly what the essay is and why you should care about it.

If you’ve looked at a college application, you’ve probably seen the section titled Personal Statement. This is just a fancy way of saying essay. Most colleges require one Personal Statement of about 500 to 1,000 words, and many also ask for one to three additional shorter essays.

Colleges value essays because they allow them to gain insight into who you are beyond the facts and figures of the application form. For you, this is the opportunity to present your most important strengths, especially those that may not be reflected elsewhere in your application. And it can and does happen that students on the academic borderline cross into the college promised land because of the power of their essays!

By understanding the components of the essay and how to approach each of them, you will have the background information needed to tackle them. There is something to be learned from a 2,000-year-old general after all.

Essay Questions You’re Likely To Face

Essay questions can address topics as creative as an unusual item you plan to take to college or as mundane as your favorite class, as specific as an influential piece of music or as broad as anything about yourself. Questions for the essay vary by college in their specificity, originality and flexibility. Some even let you write your own questions.

To give you an idea of the variety you may encounter, here is a small sample of recent questions.

•  Describe someone who has had an influence on your life.

•  Write your own question and then answer it.

•  Describe a book or class that has challenged the way you think.

Is This A Trick Question?

The director of admission at Harvey Mudd reveals what’s behind his questions

Tell us something about yourself. This five-word question is one of the most common on college applications. It sounds harmless enough, but for many students it’s enough to cause some serious stress. The applicants reason that the colleges wouldn’t ask such a simple, straightforward question. It must be a trick. And even worse, they have no idea how to answer it.

We asked Peter Osgood, the director of admission at Harvey Mudd College and former associate dean of admission at Pomona College, why he asks this question on applications. We also wanted the truth about whether there was a hidden meaning to these types of general questions.

We ask for two essays and give students a choice of several questions. The most obvious question is a simple tell us about yourself. It’s not a trick question—we really want to know something about you, explains Osgood.

However, not any old answer will do. As Osgood cautions future applicants, We don’t want to know something that we can get from your application. It’s too easy and too safe for a student to write an essay that is purely descriptive about what they have done and accomplished. All of that will be evident elsewhere in the application.

But what happens if students write essays about their achievements without spending the time to go beyond what can be found in their resumes? According to Osgood, this would be a disaster.

That kind of essay won’t shake us up. It’s not going to tell us anything new. That kind of essay doesn’t help students at all. It’s a lost opportunity, warns Osgood.

When you read a question, don’t get stuck on finding a deeper meaning or trying to second-guess the intentions of the college. Most questions are what they appear to be—just questions. Instead of searching for a hidden message, focus on how you will answer the question, adding something new to how you present yourself to the colleges.

•  What things do you think the admission office should look at when deciding whom to accept?

•  What does good character mean to you?

•  If you could develop a specific skill what would it be? Why?

•  Is there anything unusual you plan to bring to college?

•  Is there anything that you would like to tell us that is not in the application?

•  If you could hold any government position what would it be and why?

•  Write about something that is important to you.

•  Include a small picture and describe the significance of the photo to you.

Our favorite questions, however, come from the University of Chicago, which is famous (or infamous depending on how you feel) for coming up with extremely creative essay questions. A recent question asks students, What is square one, and can you actually go back to it? The question was inspired by a University of Chicago undergrad.

While most colleges are not as creative (or diabolical) as this, they often give you a choice of questions. Some students stress about picking which one to answer. However, there really is no right question. The truth is that colleges don’t care which question you answer. Remember that more important than your actual answer to the question is what your answer says about you. Our advice when you are faced with a choice is to pick the question that you can answer most thoughtfully.

The Dreaded Word Count

The college admission essay is one place where brevity is valued. Besides writing the actual essay, most students find that adhering to the word count is the other major obstacle. Often 500 to 1,000 words are all that you are allowed to express the meaning of your life. Some questions will require you to be even more concise—maybe only 300 words. The Common Application allows 650 words. These limits are a challenge to even the best writers, and you must be disciplined in your use of words and sentences. As you are selecting topics, keep the word count in mind—you don’t want to choose a topic that would take five pages to thoroughly cover.

On the other hand, having such a strict word count frees you to focus on only the most important aspects of your life and to craft an essay where every word matters. As you write, be aware of the word count. Having a few words over the limit will not hurt you, but if you exceed it by a significant number, say 100 words, then you are going to have to go back to the editing table and figure out what to cut.

Technology To The Rescue Or Not

The Internet has become an integral part of the college application process. Years ago applications were only accepted by mail. You will submit your essays along with the rest of your application online. While this might seem like a convenience, be very careful that you still treat your essay as if it were printed.

We highly recommend that you print your essays to edit them even if you are going to ultimately submit them online. Many college admission officers have told us that while online applications save students time, they have resulted in an increase in the number of careless errors. Be sure that convenience does not inadvertently lead to carelessness.

Now that you know what you are facing, let’s look at how to write a successful essay.

The Common Application Essay Questions

Essays accepted by nearly 700 colleges

As the Common Application is the most widely accepted college application, it is likely that you will face one of the seven questions below. Each question is meant to allow you to explain your personal experiences and how you have learned from them. For advice on each of the Common App prompts, please see Chapter 4.

•  Some students have a background, identity, interest or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

•  The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

•  Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

•  Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma - anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

•  Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

•  Describe a topic, idea or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

•  Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

CHAPTER THREE

HOW TO FIND THE PERFECT TOPIC

In this chapter you will learn:

•  How to brainstorm a great topic

•  Questions to jump start your brainstorming

•  The critical test for originality

•  Seven questions you must ask before choosing a topic

•  Dumb topics to avoid

Begin With A Brainstorm

Our dog was an Australian cattle dog named Sushi. To our dismay the first thing she learned was how to successfully coerce humans into giving her people food. Her method was not elegant but very effective. Sushi simply tried every trick she knew—sit, jump, lick, crouch, whine, stare, bark—until she found the right combination. Instinctively she knew that the process of trial and error works.

When it comes to finding the perfect topic, we can all learn something from Sushi. While it is not elegant and relies on much trial and error, the best way to discover a great topic is brainstorming.

To get off to a blustery start, first read all the questions in the colleges’ application forms. You want to have these questions in the back of your mind as you brainstorm possible topics.

The key to successful brainstorming is to record every idea that pops into your head. Remember: no topic is too silly, complex or stupid (at least not yet) to write down. To help you get started, ask yourself:

•  What are your favorite activities and hobbies? Why do you enjoy them?

•  What are your talents or skills? Why did you learn them? Who taught you?

•  Who have been the most influential people in your life? The most memorable? The most interesting? Who have you disliked the most?

•  What was your best day? Worst? Funniest?

•  How have you changed in the past four years?

•  What was the most memorable experience you had with your parents? Brother or sister? Best friend? Teacher?

•  What accomplishment are you proudest of?

•  What makes you special or unique?

•  What is your strongest quality?

•  What is something about you that is surprising or that other people wouldn’t expect?

•  What is an interesting conversation that you’ve had?

•  What is a strong belief or philosophy that you hold?

•  What annoys you most about other people?

•  What have you done during the past four summers? Which summer was the most memorable?

•  What is the most difficult or challenging thing you have done?

•  When and how have you shown leadership?

•  What is the most pressing issue that our society faces?

•  What have you and your friends recently talked about?

As you write down ideas, don’t rule anything out. Your goal is to give yourself a large number of topics to explore. You should also bring in your friends, teachers and parents for help. Often, great topics are discovered through talking it over with others.

Ideally, you want to brainstorm over the course of a few days. You will need to take breaks. But always keep a pen and paper handy since a good idea can spring up at any moment.

One student we spoke with recalled how he had a brilliant idea while taking a shower. Since he didn’t have anything to write with and was so afraid of forgetting the idea, he actually etched a few notes to himself in the steam on the glass shower doors. Other places where students have thought of topics that went on to become successful essays have included: an airplane bathroom, waking up from a nightmare, during a volleyball match and at the zoo.

It’s important that you remember that when brainstorming, not all of your ideas will be golden. In fact, some that seemed brilliant when you first thought of them will turn out to be terrible in retrospect. The student who was so excited about his idea in the shower later realized that it wasn’t that great once he was clothed and dry.

The Litmus Test For Originality

Once you have a list of ideas, you will need to narrow your choices. For each idea spend a few minutes thinking about what your essay might look like.

A key to writing a successful essay is that it must be original. Therefore, you need to eliminate any topics that would not yield an original essay. One of the best tests is employed by an admission officer