Shadow of Innocence: Book Four

Prologue

Strings of pain shot down her legs, causing her knees to become weak and forcing her to the ground. Her sickly thin, childlike frame fluttered to the ground, rolling over on the thick grass. Her large golden-brown eyes shut, trying to hide the flood of tears. She rolled over again, trying to force away the pain. She waited for her legs to feel alive, her soul to want to live. No hope.

Blonde wild hair fell over her pale face as she struggled. Her hands clutched at her stomach. She tried to call out but there was a dry lump in her throat, preventing any sound to escape her lips. Straightening her arms out, she arched her back, peering around the clearing in the woods.

The pounding of hunting boots echoed through the forest floor. The sound of tall strong bodies brushed through the shrubs, cutting their way to their prey. Men’s voices were bouncing off the tall evergreen, while villagers ran through the woods, hunting… hunting her.

Find her! a hunter yelled. The man’s voice caused the birds to shoot through the trees.

Kill her! another echoed.

Her blood ran cold, her heart raced with fear striking at her mind, her soul. She could not run, could not move, she was left for dead. What was happening? Her body screamed at her mind. The girl brought herself to tears, growing weaker with every passing second.

She gathered what strength she did have left to roll beneath the bushes, not far from her feet. Pulling the cover of the bushes over her head, she hid behind them. Inserting her fingers through the branches to created a hole which she could peer from waiting, watching.

She had never considered herself to have had a tragic life. It hadn’t been all that bad until a few years ago when her mother remarried. She was still unsure what she did or said to have a hunting party after her. She was the only child from her beautiful mother whom every one had loved. But then she was locked away and left to get sick, slowly becoming a stranger to the small community.

She had always been a good girl, even when her stepfather moved in. She gave him no reason to hate her. But then he had turned everyone against her, a small child that he secretly desired for himself. He had done horrible things, unspeakable things and when she cried to her mother, she was punished. It was only so long before she was locked away for good and that was when she started to get sick. Strange things started to happen, unspoken things crowded her mind. The town’s people started to talk and an up roar broke out.

She is insane!

The child has been possessed by the devil!

She must be sacrificed so we can live in peace!

These same cries had woken her last night. Using all the energy she had, she ran from her home. Overhearing the townspeople complain that the poison her mother had been giving her had not had the desired affect. Ever since that hour, she had been on the run to save her recently tortured life. Poison! Her mind screamed. That was what wrong with her. Why had she not understood earlier? She was poisoned! But deep down she already knew that, didn’t she? She felt a sudden strange stir within her. Suddenly finding the recent events amusing, a small smirk spread across her lips.

Unconscious of her actions, she rose to her feet, heading back into the center of the clearing. Her body moving as her mind fell blank but she remained standing. Her legs apart in an attack posture, her white night gown was shredded and to her ankles. Her dark eyes were wild, staring at the path she had come down not that long ago. Her snow blonde hair was wildly flapping in the breeze, whipping around her small body.

In the clearing! a hunter directed. She smiled. Good, they had found her.

Several cries echoed as the pounding of hunting boots pressed down the path, weapons rattling in their strong hands. The blonde twisted her head to one side, running one hand down her small body. She flicked her tongue over her teeth. In seconds the hunters burst into the clearing, knives and spears gripped tightly in their hands. The group of men was at first taken aback by the sight of her, standing in the clearing with a crazed look about her.

She has lost her spirit completely. The devil has taken over! one man cried out.

A few other men started to back up, sliding back through the path in the woods.

Kill her! But beware of the demon! Kill her! her stepfather ordered. His spear raised in the air.

Oh kill me? she laughed. Yes let’s kill me. She shook her long hair, drawing the ribbons on her night gown and stepping out of it.

The men continued to stare at her, a few closer to the path turned to flee down it.

Don’t be afraid, it is still mortal, it can be killed! her stepfather yelled, panic in his voice as he tried to convince himself more than his crowd.

Can I? she asked, watching as more of the hunting party disappeared.

The group cried out, rushing at her, their weapons held out in front of them. She remained were she was as the men drew closer. One man ran his spear past her, the blade clipping her arm. Another threw his knife embedding into her upper chest next to her shoulder blade, her body jolted with the impact. But she would not fall, they would not win. They were the enemy, not her.

The men smiled at the wounded child, blood trickling down her naked body. However she just grinned back, her head arching. She flicked her tongue, causing a clicking sound on the roof of her mouth. Some of the hunters stopped, fear ripped through their eyes at the unholy sight. More of the hunting party turned and ran back to the safety of their village.

Her stepfather threw his spear at her, the blade sliding past her head. The handle knocking her to the ground, her eyes starting to flicker back. The darkness that had settled in moments ago had now ceased. The events played in front of her, coming to sight. She stared down at her body in shock. She was naked, wounded and puzzled. How had this happened? Great amounts of pain flooded in, causing her to hunch to her side. She was already weakened by the poison but this was unbearable. She glanced over at the bushes, wondering how she had ended up in the clearing… the clearing that was holding the hunters.

She screamed, trying to cover her body with her hand. Where was her night gown? The men were now smiling; their weapons rose once more as they crept in on her. Her stepfather leading them, she glared at him. How could he? Why were they doing this? Questions rolled through her crazy mind as she tried to scramble to the bushes. She tried to escape her unfairly written fate.

Here. Someone spoke behind her, ripping at her arm and pulling her into the bushes.

She turned to her rescuer, a handsome man. He stood over her, handing her his long black cloak. His skin was as pale as hers. His hair was as black as the cloak that had covered his toned frame. He stood tall over her wounded body, a thin smile on his lips as his dark eyes twinkled with wonder. Scooping her up in his arms, he ran from the clearing to a small stream, where he mopped the blood from her body. She watched his face as he cleaned her up. His strong hands were soft and caring against her burning skin. She could see by his reaction that she was going to die.

Farewell until next time, my sweet, he whispered.

Closing her eyes for what seemed like a few minutes. She was shocked to find that when she reopened them, the stranger was gone and was replaced by the small group of hunters. Was it all a dream? What was going on in her head? All the voices and memories were driving her insane. The men were smiling as one by one they lent down by her small body. Each of the hunters took turns with having their way with her. She tried to scream, tried to fight but each time she moved, some part of her body was sliced.

She glared up as her stepfather moved on top of her, his green eyes laughing into hers. The child winked, she would show them. She would show them what the devil looked like. Snapping her arm up, she flexed her fingers snatching the knife beside her and swinging it across his neck. He fell from her body, dead.

One of the other men picked her up, slapping her to the ground once more. Although she could no longer feel any pain from her torn skin. She darted her hands up at them in rage and gasped when every weapon from the ground shuddered, then shot back into the bodies of their owners. Satisfied, she closed her golden-brown eyes once more. Falling deeper and deeper into what seemed like sleep… into the next life.

Chapter One

The piercing screams had woken her. The young girl found herself falling from her bed in fear again. She cowered on the carpet listening, waiting until the chilling scream sounded again, the screams from her mother. There was a loud thump and everything fell silent. The girl pulled herself to her feet.

She wound her long snow blonde hair around her finger tips. She was too afraid to go downstairs but too afraid of what would happen if she didn’t. Her large golden-brown eyes glanced over at her still soundly sleeping twelve-year old sister. She turned back to the door, her small childlike frame slowly stepping forward. She could no longer hear anything downstairs.

Opening her bedroom door, she stood on the staircase directly outside. Taking in a deep breath and leaning over the old wooden railing, she looked down into the empty lounge-dining room. She could see no one. Where was her mother? She stepped further down the staircase, where she could peer into the kitchen through the arched doorway.

Their home was an old run down townhouse. The front door opened to a tiny kitchen then it led through to the dining and lounge room. The creaking old staircase sat to the right side, with two bedrooms and a small bathroom to separate them. She shared a room with her sister but that was the only good thing about the home. That she was close to comfort.

Looking down into the kitchen, she could see her mother draped across the bench. The woman was muttering something under her breath although her every word was slurred. Behind her stood a tall dark man who was pulling up his pants, swearing at her mother. He called her a slut and dirty bitch.

This was normal in her home, her mother was a prostitute and their home was constantly filled with strange men. There was no doubt her mother once was a beautiful woman, however now she looked years beyond her age. A consequence from the drugs she pumped into her body. The girl sat at the top of the staircase, pulling her long white nighty over her knees. She wrapped her thin arms around her waist, watching the scene with disapproving eyes.

Most nights she would wake to this and most nights she would sit above the staircase, waiting for the men to leave. She didn’t know what she would do the day one of them ventured up. Her mother spun around, her eyes drowsy and her shirt ripped open to reveal her beasts. She had a gash on the side of her mouth. The older woman moved over to the man, muttering something in his ear.

He laughed, pushing a few hundred dollars bills in her hand. Money herself and her sister would never benefit from. She had taken to sneaking into her mother’s room when she was passed out and stealing half the money. Her mother never noticed, they could have given her five dollars and she would have been satisfied.

The man left, slamming the door behind him. Leaving her mother to grunt about the ‘dud root’ he was, before slumping over the sink once more. She pulled out her bottle of vodka, drinking it as if it were water. The woman swayed on her feet, hobbling over to the dining room table, where she fell flat on her face, passed out. The girl sneered at the disgusting woman who had never been a mother to her. She couldn’t wait until she was old enough to get away from her, until she could escape the disturbing city of Adelaide.

Heidi, is the man gone? her sister asked, through the bedroom door.

It is safe Mindy, she whispered.

Her sister quickly opened the door, coming to sit beside her on top of the stairs like she so often did. Mindy looked down at their mother. Shaking her head and bowing it to her knees. While Heidi glanced at the clock in the kitchen, she hadn’t even noticed the time before now. It had felt so early but the clock read five-thirty. They had to be on a tram heading to school at seven, there was no use going back to bed now. She glanced to her sister, sighing and wrapping her arms around her.

Even though Mindy was only one year younger than herself, she was bigger than her. She had shoulder length dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Her face was covered in freckles where they only ran across Heidi’s nose. Mindy was a little plump and her body already curving into her womanly form.

Sometimes Heidi felt so jealous of her. She still looked like she did when she was ten. She was not much bigger then five foot while Mindy was three inches over her. The two of them had different fathers but knew neither of them. They were results of one night stands.

Down on the floor, their mother started to snore. Both girls stood from the stairs going back to their room, where they had to dress for school. She hated school but she hated being at home even more. So her only choice was to pull on the burgundy and white uniform. She brushed back her hair, pushing a burgundy band over her forehead. Her hair still fell in tight curls at the ends no matter how hard she tried to brush them out.

Mindy put a lot more time and effort into her appearance. She was in the first few weeks at high school, so she wanted to make the best impression. Mindy sat at the mirror slowly twirling her hair and pinning it back with tiny butterfly clips then applying some lip-gloss. Something that she never did, neither of them had a mother who showed them how to look after themselves but her sister was lucky enough to have friends.

Heidi slipped out of the room, checking to see if they had enough milk for some breakfast, thankfully they did. She made herself some breakfast, leaning against the bench as she ate. Her eyes unmoving from her mother, she did not love the woman nor did she care for her. Her life had been like this since she could remember. She couldn’t remember how she survived as a young child and to be honest she didn’t want to know.

Once she finished her breakfast, she pulled her mother off the floor. She struggled to get the woman to the lounge room let alone up the stairs. She let her mother’s body drop to the floor once more. She pried her mother’s hand open, taking three fifty dollar notes out of three hundred that were there. It would buy them some lunch for school and some groceries after.

Heidi turned the small television on, watching, her body sitting in front of it but her mind elsewhere. Mindy had come down, had her breakfast and now sat beside her. Her sister watched the cartoons, giggling at every remark while she sat emotionless. As soon as the clock read six-thirty, the two girls headed out the door, waiting for the bus that would take them to the tram. The bus stop was directly outside their house which was a little easier due to the hurrying they already had to do.

A long black car pulled up at the house next door to them. The two girls watched curiously as two men directed a removal truck into the driveway. The house had been abandoned for ten years. No one wanted to live in a house that had been the center of a homicide. When Heidi was only three, a father ran through the home killing his wife and two children.

While she lay in bed, Heidi could hear the crying of the children and the screams of the mother even to this day. She sometimes confused them with the screams of her own mother. When she looked out of her bedroom window that stared directly into the dead children’s, she swore she could see them. There was a six-year old girl and her four-year old brother. Both with faces white as snow and thick hair as black as a moonless night. They would stare back at her and wave, their hands transparent. She felt no fear looking upon them. When she would tell Mindy, her sister would look at her like she was lying or purposely trying to scare her but she could see them, she wasn’t lying.

Who would move into a house like that? Their street sat on top of the hill with three old Victorian styled houses in a row, their home in the middle. ‘The haunted house’ as Mindy called it was on their right and on the left now a block of land. The house had burnt down four years ago and for some reason the past owners had never rebuilt. Heidi stood, staring at the men moving in all the plastic covered furniture. She felt afraid for the ghost children. What did they think of this? Her attention was snapped away when the bus pulled up and Mindy pulled her on.

On the tram it took them forty-five minutes to get to school, the lonely dark school reminded Heidi of a prison. It was Monday and it always seemed to be the slowest day of the week. All the bad classes where on Monday’s—double math’s. Mindy ran ahead to her crowd of friends, waiting at the front gates. Heidi slowly headed to her quiet spot on a stairwell. Another long day at school, another miserable day that chained onto the rest.

Her day had slowly slid by as it always did. Her classes were filled with students more interested in each other than their school work and her hidden in the back. She was almost relieved when the second last period ended. At the end of every day she had an hour with the school counselor. She had been seeing him since half way through last year for disruptive behavior. Disruptive behavior to them was her sitting alone and not talking to anyone, or not doing her homework.

Last year she had been caught stabbing the end of a compass into her leg. She hadn’t even known she was doing it until she snapped back to reality, the teacher yelling at her. Most teachers couldn’t believe Mindy was her sister, for she was popular and centered. Something she would never be but then did she really want to be like everyone else? No, there was something more about her; she could feel it in her soul.

Heidi walked down to the room on the side of the office, leaning on the door. Did she really want to go in? Drake Commack, her counselor, had been counseling her since she had started attending last year. He was twenty-seven and still looked at her with hope, not yet scarred by the disturbed students he was yet to receive. All last year she hadn’t even spoken to him. It was only the start of this year when she had said her first few words, but still not much was said between them.

Drake was a smart man, who lived in her neighborhood. So he knew the gossip about her mother which she would never admit. For if she did, they would take her away and she may never be with her sister again. Who wants a thirteen year old girl? So she remained silent and the counselor couldn’t do anything without her word. Heidi sighed, knocking on the blue door.

You can come in Heidi! Drake called from within.

Heidi stepped into his office, closing the door behind her. She flopped into the chair across from Drake. She had only an hour to kill before she could get some groceries and go home. She was so hungry and couldn’t wait to have a house full of food. Drake sat across from her on his large leather chair. He had wanted the students to call him by his first name, hoping to break the difference between adult and adolescent. The fool, he should know it never worked like that.

Drake had blonde-brown hair, strings always falling across his brown eyes. He was quite a tall man, with a strong build, unlike what you would expect from someone who sat at a desk all day. There were faint freckles across his face and she could see tattoos hidden under his stiff white shirt. Drake confused her and interested her. She hated him trying to help her but was curious as to his reasons for trying so hard.

She slumped across from him, twisting her head to one side and staring at the man, watching him squirm in his chair. But today he did not squirm. He sat straight and tall, staring back at her, challenging her to speak first. He was a smart man, obviously paying a lot of attention to her. For he had figured her out, he had thought anyway.

Heidi grinned, twisting her head to the other side, her eyes drifting to the clock watching her minutes tick by. If he wanted to play his games then so would she. Drake sat still, his note pad to one side. He leant forward with his elbows sitting on the arm rests on his chair. His fingers clenched, wrapping around his thumb, he was crumbling.

How are you today Heidi? he asked sitting back. She had won.

Someone is moving into the haunted house.

Drake raised his eyebrow, they very rarely spoke about her but she did speak about the children a lot. His face twisted in wonder and fear as she spoke. He tried not to believe her but because she believed it herself, it was hard for him to see through it. Besides he had heard the rumors since moving from Sydney two years ago. The neighbors had well informed him about the houses on the north hill.

Heidi had found out all she could about the man. He had a wife and three children. He had moved from Sydney to Adelaide where his wife’s family was. His wife was a primary school teacher and worked at the catholic school not far from their neighborhood, his children consisted of a six year old boy and twins. The twins were a boy and a girl, who spent most of their day since they were born in childcare. Yes, she had studied him. She didn’t like that he knew so much about her and she knew nothing about him, now it was her who knew more.

I heard your mother was fired from her job in the café, he commented. Now that he had got her talking he tried to steer her away from the children. Although he was a bit slow for her mother had lost the job over two weeks ago.

She quit. Heidi didn’t know why she defended the woman.

Drake raised his eyebrow again, challenging her to look at him so he could see the truth. She did which confused his theory.

Melinda told me she was worried about you. She said you weren’t sleeping and you’re waking up screaming, he pressured.

Heidi looked away, silent. How dare her sister speak about her and to her counselor! She remained turned from Drake for twenty minute’s. The man watched the clock, realizing he had made the mistake he so often did. She would always stop talking when he pressured her about her life, when he yearned for information. How she hated Mindy right now, besides she never awoke screaming, it was their mother. It had to be their mother for who else could it be?

Drake took a deep breath, he was losing her and he knew it. The children will not be happy with someone living in their home, he commented, coming down to her level.

No, they won’t.

Maybe it could be good for them. It could bring them peace and you might not have to see them anymore.

She snapped her head to him. They will not be happy if it’s a man, she sneered.

Drake bit his lip, trying to read her thoughts but she was still angry over what Mindy had done. She moved from the chair placing herself in the corner, behind the door. Drake sighed, dropping the pad from his hand. When she hid in the corner she would not speak to him. Heidi stared into the corner suppressing her feelings, she could not cry, she would not cry in front of him. Drake had moved around his desk, fiddling with the drawers but she did not turn his way. Her large eyes darted back and forth over the lines in the wall paper, her head aching with the flood of thoughts, her pain.

The bell sounded, marking the end of the day. Heidi jumped to her feet, snatching her school bag. There was too much to do before night fall, especially a talk with her over-sharing sister. Drake didn’t come to the door to let her out. She stood with her face against the wood, what did he want? She turned around slowly to see him lighting a candle on a single chocolate cup cake. He turned, holding it out for her. Confused, Heidi stepped back towards him.

I am not supposed to get anything for students but I bought this at lunch. Happy birthday.

Heidi stood still, what did he mean happy birthday? It wasn’t her birthday, was it? She drifted her eyes to the calendar, shocked to see that it was her birthday. She had never celebrated her birthday before nor had anyone else. Drake held out the small cup cake for her, Heidi smiled. She blew out the candle taking the cake. She looked back up in his eyes to see that he was equally as happy, she couldn’t let him in. She snapped the smile from her face, throwing the cake in the bin.

She left the room, slamming the office door behind her, leaving the counselor shocked, leaning back against his desk. She couldn’t let anyone get close to her, she wanted to be invisible but there was something different about her. She knew she was different. There was something that everyone else saw that she couldn’t, they saw her as a freak and psycho but she saw herself as a child. The world was moving and everyone was changing but she remained the same. She was still the child without a shadow, without a soul.

* * *

After school Heidi had picked up some food on the way home, all the time thinking that it was her birthday. She was fourteen! Fourteen was still so young but she either felt so much older or younger. Mindy had got a lift home with a friend, leaving her to walk up the hill alone. She had missed the bus because she had to get their food. Leaning up the hill, she carried four bags in each hand. She was exhausted by the time she reached her house, her sister sat out the front waiting.

Mums not home, she commented, gesturing to the locked door.

Heidi nodded. She didn’t think her mother would be. She would be at the bar by now, buying all the drugs she could before nightfall when she would walk the streets. Heidi placed the bags at her feet, shifting through her school bag, searching for the keys as a shadow fell over her. Looking up to a tall man, she froze. The man had dark eyes with black hair, gelled in points, he was in his mid-twenties. He was lean, clothed in black pants and crimson red shirt. She raised her eyebrow, who was he? The enchanting man smiled, his deep eyes staring through her like he knew her.

Hello my name is Zack Solveri, I’m your new neighbor. I tried to introduce myself to your mother but she left in a hurry. The man put out his hand, Heidi took a few steps back, throwing the keys to Mindy who quickly went inside. The man snapped back his hand. Nice to meet you too, he muttered.

Come on Heidi! her sister called.

Heidi darted her eyes back to the man who rolled his head to one side smiling. There was something about him which was familiar. Are you Heidi? he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Why do you ask?

The children wish you a happy birthday, he whispered, handing her a bundle of old newspaper. Nineteen ninety-seven the paper read, the children were on the front. It was the day of their death, the day their neighborhood was turned upside down. Had their world ever turned back the right way?

Zack placed the bundle in her hand, walking away before she could do anything. She would have thought she imagined him it if it wasn’t for the paper in her hand. Her body quivered. She ran inside slamming the door behind her. Who was that man? Did he mean the ghost children she also saw? She didn’t know what to think. Heidi ran to her room, slamming the door, warning her sister away.

She threw herself on the bed, staring at the bundle of newspaper, slowly unwrapping it. Heidi gasped at the beautiful gift that fell out. It was a large amethyst stone in the center of a classic styled silver necklace. The necklace was beautiful but she couldn’t shake the strange feeling as she brushed her fingers over the stone, like she was being watched.

Heidi looked out her window across to that of the children’s room. They stood in the window screaming, shaking their heads, their small hands pressed against the glass. What were they saying? Heidi felt sick, her mind was screaming at her to run away but she could not tear her eyes from them. Without moving, the blind to her room was slammed shut and cold breeze shifted through the room.

She gasped, jumping from the bed. She reopened the window to look at the children. They had gone and standing in their place was the man from outside. He stared right through her, his body motionless but his eyes dancing with excitement. Heidi quickly drew the blind, leaning against the wall, her heart racing. First she found out it was her birthday and now someone had moved in next door, a strange man. She felt sick, she stepped back to her bed, falling as the house begun to shake. She fell to the floor, her large eyes darted back to the window as the blind was snapped open, no one there.

The shaking stopped, leaving her cuddled to the floor waiting for Mindy to run up the stairs, she heard nothing. Slowly rising to her feet, Heidi moved to her mirror staring at her pale thin reflection. She hated herself, hated the way she looked and the way she felt. She glanced down to her hand where she clutched the beautiful necklace. Why had the children given it to her? Was it because they cared or something else?

Heidi placed the necklace around her neck, hurrying downstairs to tell Mindy. She knew the look she would receive from her sister but she wasn’t imagining it. The children were there, she could see them, she could feel them. Their voices followed her, their tortured spirits clinging to hers. She had to tell Mindy about the man next door, warn her to stay away. Something was very wrong and for the first time she could remember, she was afraid.

Heidi stopped at the end of the stairs when she saw the bags, her shopping. Sighing, she stepped over to the bags. She would talk to Mindy later, for now she had to do what her mother failed to do. She had to clean the house, so her mother could come home drunk, destroying it with whoever she partnered tonight and their routine would start again. School, counseling, disturbed nights, broken hearts and crushed dreams. Welcome to her tortured life!

Chapter Two

The shuffling downstairs had kept her awake until the early hours of the morning. Her birthday was over before she even had the chance to celebrate or acknowledge it. She lay with her back to her sister, her eyes cast to the door, in hope that the people in the kitchen would leave. Her mother was, of course their attention but even she couldn’t stay up much longer. It had been a long night. Her mother had arrived home after dinner, she stormed into the house, cursing at how the school counselor had rung her at the bar and embarrassed her in front of her companion.

Her mother had run about the kitchen, throwing what she could at her, cursing both her daughters. After her rage fuelled tantrum she had gone upstairs to shower then wait for her company. Heidi had heard her speaking softly with Mindy for a few minutes, saying that after tonight she planned to buy a way out of here. She was always saying things like that to them.

Heidi had started to wonder whether they were included in her thoughts or would she leave without them? Disgusted, she had run to her room not wishing to witness such betrayal. But once in her room, all she could think about were the children next door and the man.

The man next door had been so strange. It confused her that he would move into a haunted house and especially that he saw what she did. Since the window had slammed shut, she hadn’t seen or heard anything next door. Although that didn’t mean everything was okay, silence was more threatening than spoken words.

She had tried to tell Mindy but her sister was yet again predictable, by not hearing a word. All her sister cared was what movie she was seeing on the weekend. No one cared what she had to say, then again she didn’t really want their attention. None of them cared for her, not her family, not school and definitely not Drake, although he did put on a good show.

The shuffling downstairs subsided but that only opened the night for their chatter. She could hear her mother’s voice and the voices of two men. Their talking quickly led to another argument. Heidi pulled her blanket over her head trying to block them out, nothing would cease them.

The argument grew louder and things started to smash, her mothers voice the loudest of them all. Heidi ground her teeth, waiting for it to end but it didn’t and wouldn’t. Fighting would only lead to more sex and more sex left her mother in a drunken slumber. That thought was the worst of them all.

Coming down the stairs to find her mother half naked on the floor with men’s fluids and alcohol over her body, was not something she liked to see. She absolutely hated it. She hated that she had to see it and hated that she had to clean it up before Mindy came downstairs. She resented her mother more with every week that passed. Downstairs things fell silent, Heidi sneered, was her mother unconscious or in an act she didn’t want to see?

Heidi threw off her blankets, snatching her robe from the door to wrap around her shaking body. Her paper thin nighty barely did a thing against the cold. Opening the door, she slipped from the room surprised that her sister was still sleeping. Well not really surprised, more frustrated that she was and that she could not herself. She cleared her head from her anger, walking out to the top of the stairs. To look down at her mother who was kissing one man, while the other had a needle in her arm, most likely heroin. Heidi screwed her face up in anger, this was pathetic. She would never let herself do that. She couldn’t take this, not tonight. Leaning against the railing, her fingers turned white with her rage.

Stop! Stop it now! You two need to leave now! she screamed, from the top of the stairs.

The threesome froze, staring up at her. Her mother’s eyes taking a few moments to adjust to who she was seeing, she sneered. The two men stepped back, one smiling and the other’s face a mask of shock. It scared her the way that they were looking at her but she didn’t move. Her mother moved to one of the men, whispering in his ear before walking beneath the railing, glaring up at her daughter. Heidi glared back; it was not her mother she was afraid of. It was the strangers with their eyes gleaming through her.

Get back to bed girl. This is none of your business! Her mother yelled.

I’m not going to bed until they leave! Heidi hissed.

You don’t dictate to me girl, get back to bed! Mama’s working, she spat, turning to smile back at her company.

My name is Heidi! She was now shaking with anger. She hated her mother so much yet there was nothing she could do about it. She needed to relax, she needed some fresh air. Fine. I’m going outside.

Her mother didn’t hear her. She had gone back to one of the men, making out with him on the kitchen table. Heidi felt her stomach turn, she felt sick watching them. Especially since she and Mindy ate off that table, however her mother had probably done it on everything they touched. Her attention turned to the other man still standing beside the staircase, what did he want?

Hi Heidi, I’m Greg. Do you wanna come down here for a while? he asked, moving to the base of the staircase.

Not near you! she spat.

As quickly as she could, Heidi hurried past him and out the front door. The man only laughed at her, but he did not return to her mother. He walked over to the lounge slumping into it, watching her leave. With shaky hands, Heidi slammed the door behind her, stepping out into the cold night. The air numbed her face and hands, she shivered. Why had she come out here? It didn’t really matter, as long as she was not watching or hearing them inside.

She walked down the driveway coming to sit in the gutter and folding her legs beneath her body. The street was quiet and dark, two of the street lights had been blown for several weeks now. It seemed even the council had forgotten them. Resting her head on her folded knees, she thought of how her body had reacted inside. Normally she would have remained quiet so why hadn’t she tonight? Because it had been her birthday and her mother had never known. If she couldn’t be happy then she would do her best to be sure her mother was also unhappy.

It’s a little late to be out here in the darkness, isn’t it? Someone spoke behind her.

Heidi looked over her shoulder to see Zack Solveri as he wandered down his driveway, dropping in the gutter next to her. She shifted away from him, glaring at the man. What did he want? He only smiled, a cigarette wedged between his lips. He pulled the collar up on his jacket, cupping his hands around the end of his cigarette to light it. Heidi turned away from him, looking down to her bare feet. They were so numb; she hadn’t noticed she’d forgotten to put shoes on. When he moved she snapped her head back to him, he was offering her one of his cigarettes. She shook her head, smoking was for the weak and she was not weak.

I needed some space, she whispered, without looking back to him.

Understood. It’s pretty crowded in there, he said, with a nod back to the house.

Heidi couldn’t help but to smile at his remark but the yells inside quickly slapped it away. You should get used to it. You’re going to hear a lot of it if you live here, she muttered.

Zack looked over