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Looking for Your Soul Mate
Looking for Your Soul Mate
Looking for Your Soul Mate
Ebook172 pages1 hour

Looking for Your Soul Mate

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About this ebook

Looking for Your Soul Mate is a relationship development workbook designed to be used at home, church single adult programs, and in group teachings. All questions in this book can be used as discussion questions.

Subjects from this book:

Dating versus courtship
How to find your soul mate
Allow me to give you some verses
on marriage
Be ye not unequally yoked together
with unbeliever
Marriage matters
You as the man or woman; a companion
Love can and will change people
You are on trial for love
Living together versus marriage
Friendship or love
Changing for a better relationship
Imagination relationships
Expectation/imagination
Our expectations of people
Dont mess up someones life
Bad habits
Be aware of ones body language
Signs to look for before you enter into another bad relationship
So involved you dont see the truth
Controlling your tongue
Easily offended
Dealing with your anger
Never love anyone more than God
Relationship commitment
Keeping your commitment
Age group
Predators who want to be married
Companionship
Asking someone out on a date
What causes a divorce
A look at the four temperaments.

LanguageEnglish
PublisherWestBow Press
Release dateSep 19, 2012
ISBN9781449762407
Looking for Your Soul Mate

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    Looking for Your Soul Mate - Bill E. Carter

    Dating Versus Courtship

    Dating: (Short meaning) the activity of going out regularly with somebody as a social or romantic partner. (Longer meaning), Date: an appointment for specified time; esp: a social engagement between two people of the opposite sex with whom one has a social engagement.

    Courtship: (short meaning) the act of paying attention to somebody with a view to developing a more intimate relationship. (Longer meaning) courting: to seek to gain or achieve, to seek the affections of; esp: to seek to win a pledge of marriage, to engage socially, leading to engagement and marriage.

    Court: is a place where things are justified by law and judgment, (we do our best to have a righteous judgment).

    I looked these two words up in the Webster’s dictionary. There was a time when you talked to a person or took him or her out on a date (an appointment for specified time) to come to know one another. This was done over a given time. It takes time to earn trust and build friendship; without trust and friendship, how can you have a love-based relationship? Dating has no real value of commitment; on the other hand courtship is based on commitment.

    How many people do you know who use the word dating? That has said they love each other within a few days (14 to 30 days)? Just to find they were never friends or never knew each other. Then the next thing you know they are broken up and hating each other, is that love; what happened to love? There was no real commitment, just a few dates!

    Allow me to ask you this, how many times have you dated someone and within 14 to 30 days you said you love that person you were dating? Now how does the word dating affect relationship building? This is a great question that you should answer.

    The dating game: Jumping from one person to the next person, (from bed to bed); with no value of love in sight. How many women have had sex thinking they gave all their love to some man? Men are full of actions, and sex without love has no meaning other than an activity. Sex is not love nor does it build a real love based relationship. If so, why didn’t you stay in love or have a relationship that grew and headed toward marriage? How many times have you had sex without being married?

    How many times have you dated and used these three words, I love you, without any meaning or fulfillment? Before you date someone, where is it going to take you? How dangerous is dating when it comes to getting hurt (heartbroken), or getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD)?

    When you started dating you lost sight of real companionship love and marriage. Have you even noticed? Most people who date do not want more than sexual activities and are far from having any real commitment! They seem to date with expectation and imagination. Dating can be misleading and far from the truth! If I’m wrong, why do you hate the person you were dating and you said you loved? Allow me to prove this point, go back to when you said you loved that person you were dating; are you friends today?

    I would like to ask you to describe dating in your own words: (before you fill this in I ask that you finish reading this subject. ______________________________________________

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    Courtship: is done with all due respect of the other person, to engage socially leading to engagement and marriage. Sex is not required here, but trust and friendship are. Time is also required here, because the two of you are building a relationship to judge if this relationship could have a companionship-based love that heads toward marriage. It takes a lot of time to build companionship love.

    Perhaps companionship love is another statement that you are not aware of. Does that surprise you? If we allow satan to take away the values of love, what kind of social or romantic partner will we have?

    Companionship love, comes after the two of you are married in the unity structure of God’s plan for marriage. That is why courtship is, and always has been, the direction we should take to build trust, friendship and love. In courting, you are building a relationship, not taking advantage of one another. In courting, we do not say I love you until we realize we have grown in love versus fallen in love.

    How long does it take to build trust in someone you do not know, two weeks or months? How long does it take to become friends? How can you say you love someone and not know if you can trust him or her? In courting, you are doing just that, building a relationship with someone whom you can trust and love.

    Courtship does not mean you have to spend every night or day with him or her. This does not give you ownership of the other person either. You have no right to place titles on a person until you can say the words wife or husband. Courtship is not about having a boyfriend or girlfriend (these two titles play no role in courtship).

    How can you say I’m his or her boyfriend or girlfriend? This has no value at all. Allow me to prove this. I thought you were an adult, so why are you still being a boy or a girl? So we need to mature up in reality of the responsibilities that we as Christians live in. This is God’s plan that we live like Christians and learn to love as He teaches us in His word.

    I would like to ask you to describe courting in your own words: ______________________________________________

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    I would like to ask you to describe the benefits of Courtship:______________________________________________

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    I would like to ask you to describe the benefits of Dating:______________________________________________

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    I hope the next time you say these three words, I love you, you should really mean it! What is love? There are two types of love, one that is of the flesh and one that is of God or Christianity!

    Now let’s look at these three words (Eros, Philia and Agape) from a Christian point of view.

    Eros: It is inspired by the biological structure of human nature (man and woman). The husband and wife, in a good marriage, will love each other romantically and erotically forever! Eros is the love, sexual love. This type of love should be handled in a Christian way. (In marriage!)

    Philia: In a good marriage the husband and wife are also friends. It’s a best friend relationship. This type of friendship means companionship, communication and cooperation. (Everyday!) Philia is family love. This is where brotherly love comes from.

    Agape: Unconditional love, self-giving love, gift of love, the love that goes on loving. Even when love, becomes unlovable. I believe Agape love is not just something that happens to you; it’s something you make happen. This is a gift of love. God, Himself, showed this unconditional love. We share this love by faith and by God’s spirit. Agape love will grow in a real relationship and marriage. That’s why we should grow in love, not fall in love!

    If people would take these three words, (Eros, Philia and Agape) and make them into a three cord rope to make their love stronger, their love would last a lifetime! If companions would put forth efforts purposely to increase Philia and Agape love, this alone would increase their Eros love. This is when Eros love will flourish if properly nurtured.

    If people, would increase the area of Eros love, this will reinforce the Philia and Agape love. Now you see why the three strand cord of love will last a lifetime in a marriage! These three types of love will keep and save your companionship! During courtship there is no sexual activity! Sex before marriage only blinds two people from the truth or their relationship growth!

    Love will die when you spend little or no time together or when you stop sharing activities that are mutually enjoyed; remember this!

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