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    The Treasure Hunt: Discover and Reclaim Your Life
    The Treasure Hunt: Discover and Reclaim Your Life
    The Treasure Hunt: Discover and Reclaim Your Life
    Ebook157 pages2 hours

    The Treasure Hunt: Discover and Reclaim Your Life

    By James J. Smith

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    About this ebook

    Did you ever stop and wonder if you are living the life you were meant to live? Did you ever wonder if you are living more for someone elses benefit than your own? Are you just putting in your time, doing what you are supposed to do? Do you feel more like a passive observer watching life go by than a meaningful and creative force in your own life? Do you sometimes feel lost and wonder what its all about?
    If you answered yes to even one of these questions, maybe you are ready for a change. Maybe now is the time to live your life the way you really want towithout the guilt, without the unnecessary struggle, and most of all, without the permission or cooperation from anyone else.
    This is a book about the way life works. From birth until death, we strive to be ourselves while combating social forces that distort our efforts to be free. However, the socialization process doesnt have to impede our journey toward happiness as we move through our one and only life. In this book, you are encouraged to strive to fully experience your thoughts and feelings and rediscover your True Self in order to reach your full potential. By becoming more in tune with yourself, you are more likely to have satisfying relationships with others. It is hoped that after reading this book you will feel happier with yourself and more excited about your future.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAuthorHouse
    Release dateDec 15, 2011
    ISBN9781468507744
    The Treasure Hunt: Discover and Reclaim Your Life
    Author

    James J. Smith

    James J. Smith, PhD, is a licensed psychologist who lives and practices in Baltimore, Maryland. Dr. Smith graduated from the University of Maryland in 1985 with a PhD in Human Development. This book was written over the course of his many years spent as an individual and family therapist. He continues to practice today, working with juveniles and conducting forensic psychological evaluations for the Court.

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    • 5/5
      This is a book about the way life works. From birth until death, we strive to be ourselves while combating social forces that distort our efforts to be free. However, the socialization process doesn’t have to impede our journey toward happiness as we move through our one and only life. In this book, you are encouraged to strive to fully experience your thoughts and feelings and rediscover your True Self in order to reach your full potential. By becoming more in tune with yourself, you are more likely to have satisfying relationships with others. It is hoped that after reading this book you will feel happier with yourself and more excited about your future.

    Book preview

    The Treasure Hunt - James J. Smith

    Contents

    Preface

    Introduction

    Chapter One

    The Basics

    Getting to Know You

    Growing Up

    To Have, to Do, and to Be

    The Content and Process of Life

    Chapter Two

    Hunting Alone

    Fairness

    Life Is a Thankless Job

    Sooner or Later

    Children: Let Them Be Themselves

    Get a Life

    Fantasies

    The Seductions of Life

    Life Is A-maze-ing

    Chapter Three

    Hunting Together

    The Relationship Continuum

    The Dance of Relationships

    Dependence and Codependence

    Interdependence

    Maintaining Relationships

    The Rules of Love

    The Economy of Love

    Having Sex and Making Love

    The Life and Death of Marriage Relationships

    Chapter Four

    Reclaim Your Treasures

    X Marks the Spot

    Your Declaration of Independence

    Appendix

    Questions and Answers

    About the Author

    About the Book

    To be nobody - but yourself - in a world which is doing its best, day and night, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

    - e.e. commings

    Preface

    Did you ever stop and wonder if you are living the life you were meant to live? The one where you would be totally free to be your Self? The one that would really make you happy?

    Did you ever wonder if you are living more for someone else’s benefit than your own? Are you just putting in your time, doing what you are supposed to do but feel more like a passive observer watching life go by, than a meaningful and creative force in your own life? Do you sometimes feel lost and wonder what it’s all about?

    If you answered yes to even one of these questions, maybe you are ready for a change. Maybe now is the time to live your life the way you really want to without the guilt, without the unnecessary struggle, and best of all, without the permission or cooperation from anyone else.

    This book can help you reach these goals. It may take a little digging so grab your shovel and let’s begin the search for that part of you deep inside that longs to be happy and free: that part of you where solid gold treasures are buried.

    Maybe now is the time to:

    Discover and Reclaim Your True Self.

    Introduction

    Most of us today live lives that are fast-paced and full of activity. We are busy doing things and accumulating things. And since, in this day and age, we no longer have to invest a majority of our waking hours into meeting basic survival needs, there is time for leisure activities and we have expendable income for a seemingly endless variety of entertainments and conveniences. It is possible to fill every waking hour with things like books, movies, video games, hobbies, sports, and—let’s not forget—television. That is, of course, if there is any time or energy left over after going to work, taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, and attending to all the other responsibilities of modern life.

    The fact of the matter is that we accomplish more tasks, own more material things, and are able to engage in a greater variety of educational and leisure activities than ever before. We are busy. We can develop our minds through formal or self-education, develop our bodies through diet and exercise, enjoy a broad array of entertainment pleasures, and travel to and live in a wide range of places. And thanks to scientific and medical advances, we are physically healthier and will live longer than ever before in the history of mankind.

    Despite all the technological advances, modern conveniences, and a longer and healthier life in which to enjoy them, many of us are still not happy. Depression is pervasive and continues to escalate, not only in the psychiatrist’s office but in general social conversations as well. People complain about their interpersonal relationships (e.g., marriages, children, parents, friends, or bosses), are dissatisfied with their jobs, and even commit crimes against their fellow man as a sign of their discontentment. Despite major advances in psychological and psychiatric treatments, including antidepressant medications, many of us still don’t feel fulfilled. I propose that much unhappiness stems from a lifestyle—and the society that breeds it—that emphasizes activity and possessions over developing as a person. We try to feel better, at least temporarily, by looking for ways to escape our pain. We distract ourselves with things, like a new house or car, social functions, vacations, a college degree, a new job, or even drugs and alcohol. And we still feel like we are missing the mark. It makes us wonder if perhaps we are aiming at the wrong target.

    A modern-day philosopher, Thomas Morris, wrote a book in 1994 entitled True Success: A New Philosophy of Excellence¹ where he attempted to define and describe true success in life. He pointed out that most people are barking up the wrong tree, looking for success and its assumed companion, happiness. Morris concluded that true success in life is not about money, power, prestige, or social status. In fact, success is not found in the outer world. We carry it within us.

    Morris summed it up this way: One of the strongest temptations in life, as we look around us in this great world, is to forget to develop who we are. Our journey must start from within … For only in this way will we attain the highest of which we are capable.

    Perhaps all of our doing and having is really moving us further away from happiness, not closer. Perhaps we are distracting ourselves from ourselves. Maybe we don’t need to do more or have more, but we need to be more in order to be more of who we really are. Maybe what is missing is the connection with ourselves. How can we be happy and feel fulfilled if we don’t know what we really need or what we really want? Despite all the distractions of the outer world, what about our relationship with our inner world, the person we really are inside?

    It seems ironic that the computer, with its access to the Internet, has connected all aspects of the outer world closer together, yet we seem to be disconnected from our inner selves. We may not be aware of this disconnection, or if we are, don’t know what to do about it. We really do want to be happy, yet we continue to be frustrated and unhappy with no end in sight.

    This book was written to help people who want to become as happy as possible in their one and only life. It was especially written to help you, the reader, develop a clearer idea of who you are as a unique person and to help you to feel good about yourself. I believe that people who know themselves well and who like themselves have the greatest chance of living a happy and fulfilling life.

    The main theme of this book is that real and lasting happiness is the outcome of becoming your True Self, which is attained and maintained through ongoing personal growth and development.

    There are four main chapters in this book, and each chapter addresses this theme from a slightly different perspective. Chapter One sets the groundwork and outlines some basic definitions and principles. It provides the foundation upon which the rest of the book is built. In this chapter a few key words are defined, along with some basic concepts, such as Growing Up, The Content and Process of Life, and To Have, to Do, and to Be.

    In Chapter Two you will find a collection of thought-provoking topics as you discover your most important thoughts and feelings. This will help you to reclaim the repressed and disowned parts of yourself. There are questions at the end of many sections to help stimulate your own personal growth.

    In Chapter Three, I discuss love and relationships, which are at the very heart of our existence and happiness. We need love to grow as a person, and we need relationships to exchange love with each other in order to promote mutual growth and development. It is within our interpersonal relationships that we learn who we really are and about the give-and-take of life.

    Chapter Four helps to integrate theory and practice. You will discover how to reclaim your True Self as X marks the spot and treasures abound. You will also be helped to write your own letter of declaration, as you more clearly define who you are and what you believe.

    If you want to get a gist of what this book is about, read the Key Thoughts at the end of most sections. Also read the Appendix: Question and Answers section, which addresses specific areas of confusion or concern. However, to gain the most information and inspiration from this book, read it from cover to cover.

    Life is a journey inward as much as it is outward. As we become more aware of who we really are on the inside, we will know how to live on the outside.

    Let the hunt begin.

    33675.png

    ¹ Morris, Thomas. True Success: A New Philosophy of Excellence. New York: G. P. Putnam and Sons, 1994.

    Chapter One

    Preparing for the Hunt

    The Basics

    The beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms.

    —Socrates

    Certain key words are used repeatedly throughout this book, and I use them in specific ways. A clear understanding of these words will help you to further understand what I have written. Please refer to this section as necessary to review these definitions. The following terms are addressed below:

    Self

    True Self

    Love

    Personal development

    Dependence

    Codependence

    Interdependence

    Self is the blend of your personal thoughts and feelings with the feedback you receive from other people.

    33683.png

    Self

    Your unique thoughts and feelings

    in combination with

    what you were taught to

    believe about who you are.

    33687.png

    The Self is one of those intangible things in life. It is something we all have but only through implication. Like electricity, it can’t be seen, but its effects can. Your Self refers to a global view of who you are as a person—your internal thoughts and feelings in the context of your life circumstances. This includes what you have come to know as your personality—your likes, dislikes, and interests, along with your hobbies, choice of profession, physical characteristics, assessment of your

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