Becoming Bold: Strategies to Break out the Bold You!

BECOMING

BOLD

Strategies to Break Out the Bold You!

by

Lorna Clarke Osunsanmi

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© Copyright 2011 Lorna Clarke Osunsanmi.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

Printed in the United States of America.

ISBN: 978-1-4269-4977-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4269-4978-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4269-4979-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2010917610

Trafford rev. 04/07/2011

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Contents

PREFACE

INTRODUCTION

1

ROAR

2

DO!

3

WRITE IT DOWN

4

SELF-MOTIVATION VERSUS COMPETITION

5

SLOTH IS ENEMY #1

6

YOUR CRAFT

7

GO THE DISTANCE

8

OUTSIDE THE

SQUARE LINES

9

JUSTICE WILL HAVE

HER WAY

10

YOUR REPUTATION, YOUR CHARACTER

11

IT’S YOUR COUNTRY

— PARTICIPATE

12

BE THE CHANGE

13

REST EASY WHILE WALKING FAST

14

PLAY HARD

15

WHO’S YOUR GOD?

16

ILLUSIONS

OF LOVES DIVINE

17

MAKING, KEEPING, AND LETTING GO OF FRIENDS

18

WHO ARE YOU

LISTENING TO?

19

JOY, JOY, BEAUTIFUL JOY!

20

GROWING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE

21

BECOMING BOLD

EPILOGUE

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

BIO

To my wonderful, loving parents,

Rockford and Leotha Clarke.

PREFACE

John F. Kennedy, Jr., delivered a powerful speech at Rice University in Houston, Texas, on a sizzling summer day in 1962. It was a remarkable speech meant to bolster support among Americans for the mission to the moon. He wanted people to understand the necessity of a space exploration program as a natural progression for mankind. With the passage of time humankind has steadily increased its cornucopia of knowledge; and with each year, we mark more achievements from the wheel to a cart to a car; a pencil to a pen to a computer. The year 1962 was no different: with a mission to the moon. Surprisingly, many people during that time wanted to wait before making that leap because they believed there were more important social matters to attend to, but JFK declared in no uncertain terms that a country wanting to lead the world should never wait or lag behind to discover and explore our galaxy. America was founded on people who did not wait but forged ahead, not because it was easy but because it was hard. Not because they did everything right, but because they didn’t let their numerous mistakes define them. A lesson we could all learn. No matter what you’ve done, no matter how horrendous the mistake, don’t allow people to define you by it for the rest of your life: It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. Become bold and remind yourself of where you’ve come from and where you want to go, and then press for that mark.

In that speech, Kennedy reminded us: …then we must be bold. He was right! We did send a man to the moon in that decade. Kennedy knew that in order for America to truly hold the title of superpower, we had to blaze ahead scientifically and socially, which meant in space exploration, and changing how the country treated its African American population by creating laws. Kennedy did not ignore the critical social issue of race; Kennedy constructed the Civil Rights Bill that was passed into law in 1964 by President Lyndon B. Johnson after Kennedy was assassinated in 1963. Later, in 1969, on the Apollo 11 mission, Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon. Kennedy understood that boldness is not an impulsive action, nor fearful; bold is setting aside the fear to do the hard thing that you know you are capable of even though you may not readily see it or feel it.

Kennedy’s idea in that moon speech translates in all areas of our life. We must be bold in everything we do! We must be bold to propel our life to the place it needs to be and that is not done without acquired wisdom. In order to accomplish one, you need the other—both wisdom and boldness. Wisdom means the application of knowledge. So if you know what you want and you understand even vaguely a process or means of how to get it, then it is your responsibility and purpose in life to fight until that goal is achieved. Everyone will be given dreams to accomplish in there lifetime, but the act of achieving those dreams will teach you who you really are. Never think it’s a fluke or dumb luck. The yearning to do whatever that dream is is not in your heart by accident. When you apply strategic action to those dreams you will be forced to act with boldness in order to attain it. It will take learning how to be creative to get around roadblocks or being persistent whenever you hear the word No. And you will hear no, but trust me: You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. What is helpful is always be prepared to hear it, but never willing to accept it as the final answer. To move forward in the face of consistent nos, in it and of itself is an act of boldness. Some of you may say about yourself, like I did, I am not bold, wise, or fearless. I am here to tell you that you are! As long as you have a dream and move toward it, the wisdom and boldness will spring from you like a well you didn’t know you had as soon as you start taking action.

What you may need is a push. For America that push was the Soviet Union sending Yuri Gagarin, the first human being in outer space, to orbit the Earth on April 12, 1961. Before that, on October 4, 1957, the Soviets had sent Sputnik, the first spacecraft to be successfully launched into orbit. Hence, the term space race was coined, and it proved a catalyst to reminding Americans that yes, we can! You and I may need to join a group with people who are pursuing the same goal to keep each other motivated and uplifted, as well as to foster a healthy sense of competition. I’m certainly not suggesting the space race was friendly, but it definitely gave us motivation and drive. Having that type of push can sometimes propel you faster toward your goal. Also, hearing how others accomplished their dreams can be a great map to follow.

This is why I share my story: in the hopes it will encourage those of you, just like me, who never considered yourself wise or bold. But in my journey up to this very moment, I have become bolder and wiser with each and every step I’ve taken. You will encounter people at different levels of success some whom take unbelievable risks but also yield unbelievable results. That may not be you-yet-but do what you can, when you can to move closer to your goals. I believe I’m somewhere in the high middle (some may say I’m all the way there), but I know my full potential has not yet been realized, and I know I still have a little way to go.

This book chronicles exactly how I began that journey of realizing my dreams: the exact steps I took, anecdotes and lessons I learned from other people, and the words of encouragement I had to repeat to myself in order to keep moving forward to get where I wanted to go. This book is for everyone has discovered that they must become bold too.

Courage [Boldness] is the greatest of all virtues. Because if you haven’t courage, you may not have an opportunity to use any of the others.

— Samuel Johnson, Novelist, Lexicographer,

Bibliographer, Poet

INTRODUCTION

The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.

—Proverbs 28:1

1

ROAR

When a lion sees its prey, it goes after it. A board meeting is not held, a discussion doesn’t break out, the animal knows what it wants and it’s 500 feet in front of it. The lion crouches in the bushes, making himself invisible to his faster mark. He creeps up, one paw at a time and then, at the most precise moment—not a second too soon or a moment too late—pounces. It catches an unsuspecting gazelle by the throat; and it’s a fight to the finish, albeit an unfair fight, but the lion isn’t going to let up until he has won. No one in the history of mankind has had to train a lion to be bold. It’s already in its DNA. I think that same primal, gut instinct is in the human DNA, but somewhere after childhood, maybe because of well-meaning, but sketchy parenting, society and our own personal fears have hit the switch, and turned off the bold instinct in our DNA. Then we chose to forget we were ever born with it. We forgot how to mark a target, crouch, and be patient and pounce. Where did our boldness go? Some have been able to flip the switch or reignite the spark, and we know who those people are. For others, they know intuitively that life requires a bold attitude and spirit, yet opt to live passively.

Living boldly empowers individuals—you—to be productive, effective, and successful in all areas of your life. In fact, most successful people who have achieved abundance in their lives already live boldly. Their out-of-the-box mentality and can-do actions is what propel them to the top. The rest of us struggle along, either paralyzed by fear, terrified of the unknown or, like my former self, trying to attain the impossible by using by-the-book, unimaginative methods. In the early stages of my journey I soon discovered what I was doing wasn’t working, and I knew I had to change. As such, this book simply offers a different approach to attaining a more robust, rich, and fulfilling life. It includes not just my own story, but also what I’ve gleaned from others. And if you are among those people who are—like I was—bumping along, purring, I urge you to keep reading. Each chapter is dedicated to helping you make boldness a part of your daily decision making, thought process within every major facet of your life in order to claim the life you want. Mind you, I didn’t say the life you think you want or someone else’s life, but the life YOU want! 

This book is meant to inspire and provoke healthy change. I am passionate about people excelling and not being held back by fears or allowing limitations to dictate their future. I was there, once at that fearful, stuck place, but through my travails, I finally understood what it meant to be bold and took control of my life. I don’t always get it right, sometimes fear wins, but I get up again so that when I see another moment to embrace my fears and push forward—even if I don’t feel smart enough or ready—I find the courage, wisdom, and strength to move in the direction I need to go. Living bold isn’t just about career moves to get you to the next promotion. This is merely a portion of your quest. It’s about planning, speaking up, integrating, and—above all—doing—in all areas of your life! These areas are outlined in this book: your career, your world, love, and relationships. I arrived at this philosophy when I found myself achieving my goals and realized it was through bold actions or taking the advice of the bold people in my life that I began seeing progress. I wanted to share my strategy, so I took some time to identify specific steps in distinct areas that I’m sure will work for you, too.

One of my two passions is writing. In theory, I probably should be writing a novel, a collection of short stories, a screenplay, or a book that details the pain of rejection, the struggle to come up with a worthy idea, or the pain of believing in your material when no one else shares that belief. I should write that book. But living boldly enabled me to overcome those struggles listed above, and find my other passion: teaching people how to fearlessly embrace love and life, so I choose to write that book first! I realize now how living passively impeded my life. I