Love A Little Stronger

Preeti Shenoy is one of the top five highest selling authors in India. Having written on varied themes and life experiences, she is also on the Forbes longlist of the most influential celebrities in India. Her books have been translated into several languages.

She has been awarded the ‘Indian of the Year’ award for 2017 by Brands Academy for her contribution to Literature. She has also received the Academia Award for Business Excellence by the New Delhi Institute of Management. She is the recipient of the ‘100 Young Indian women Achievers Award’ in the Powerful Leader category. She has given talks in many premier educational institutions such as IITs and IIMs, and corporate organisations like KPMG, Infosys and Accenture. She is also an artist specialising in portraiture and illustrated journalling.

Also well-known for her poetry and short stories, her recent book Love A Little stronger is a collection of true stories and learnings from her own life. She has a very popular blog and also writes a weekly column in The Financial Chronicle.

Her massive online following only goes to show how popular she is! Her other interests are travel, photography and yoga.

Praise for the author and her works

Feel-good air, crisp and easy to grasp writing.

– New Woman

Quick paced read.

– DNA

Positive and full of life.

– Financial World

woven intelligently with simple language… leaves a profound impact.

– Exotica

Amazing how deftly she weaves her stories.

– Eve’s Times

Keeps the reader hooked from the first page to last.

– Afternoon Voice

Magnetic, engrossing and unputdownable.

– One India One People

An intense fiction that plays with your emotions.

– New India Express

Preeti Shenoy makes it work.

– The Hindu

Has something for everyone.

– The Hindu

Heartwarming love story.

– Bangalore Mirror

Show stealer.

–Deccan Chronicle

Keenly observant mind.

– DNA

wonderful, passionate, common story.

– The sentinel

Love

A Little Stronger

A collection of true stories and learnings from the author’s life

PREETI SHENOY

SriShti

PubliSherS & DiStributorS

SriShti PubliSherS & DiStributorS

Registered Office: N-16, C.R. Park

New Delhi – 110 019

Corporate Office: 212A, Peacock Lane

Shahpur Jat, New Delhi – 110 049

[email protected]

First published by

Srishti Publishers & Distributors in 2018

Copyright © Preeti Shenoy, 2018

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

This is a work based on the author’s experiences and life-learnings.

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the Publishers.

Printed and bound in India

For my Father.

"Death is nothing at all.

I have only slipped away to the next room.

I am I and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other,

That, we still are."

– Henry Scott Holland

Contents

Introduction

I. THE PARENT TRAP

1. My special friend

2. John Cena versus Daddy

3. A-ha moments

4. Good days and bad days

5. Hamsters incorporated

6. Mama said it

7. The Gnome syndrome

8. Preeti’s laws of parenting

9. How to get teens to clean their rooms

10. The perfect pet

11. What your mother really wants

II. LIFE, LOVE AND LAUGHTER

12. The gift of laughter

13. The scooter Romeo

14. Bumpity-bump

15. A gift for you

16. A tale of two seahorses

17. Sly Stallone does not open so easily

18. A floppy story

19. Free wheelie

20. Vegetable balls

21. Textually yours

22. The uninvited visitor

23. It happened one night

III. HEY BROTHER!

24. Mummy loves me more

25. Barbies, Math and babysitting service

26. The perfect child

27. Older brothers and inner peace

28. Spies, underwear and other things

29. Feeling needed

30. A little gift

31. Miaow, miaow, I love you

32. A little love-note

33. The commando tooth fairy

IV. LOVE A LITTLE STRONGER

34. The magic of faith

35. A stranger’s act of kindness

36. Siblings without rivalry

37. When adversity strikes

38. A promise

V. BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE

39. Please hug me – I’m just like you

40. The little black dot

41. The two forces

42. Keeping a journal

43. Resolutions

44. White lies

45. DIY

46. 10 things I learnt from my children

47. Fifty-one things and counting

48. Are you a Radiator or a Drain?

49. Family or career?

50. Writer’s high

Epilogue How this book came to be

Introduction

What you are holding in your hands right now, is a very special book. It was more than ten years ago that I first wrote it. I never expected it to get published. I never thought there would be anyone other than me who would actually be interested in reading about little snippets from my daily life.

I had just lost my father and the only solace I found was in writing, and in my art. I poured out my soul, my grief, my longing, my understanding on life, and anything that I felt, into words. I wasn’t even thinking about a book, much less thousands of people reading it. I didn’t expect many to find inspiration from these true personal anecdotes.

But over the years, thousands have written to me saying that they loved it and that they could relate to what I have written.

A lot has changed since then. My children, who were little at the time of writing this, are adults now. Not only have they grown up, but as a writer, I have grown too.

When a reader picks up this book for the first time, the picture they get is a different one from what my reality is now. Since what you read at present is a version many years in my past, my publishers and I felt that it was time to make some changes.

In this book, I have included new stories, and made changes to many of the old ones. And after reworking it, we felt that the old title (34 Bubblegums and Candies) does not fit this version.

It was a joy for me to reflect, go down memory lane, and pick those which stood out, which made me learn something, which helped me grow.

This book is full of incidents from daily life. Often it is these small moments in the mundane of routine, which stand out, which make life worth living.

To those of you who are wondering about the old title (34 Bubblegums and Candies), I thought I would include the preface which appeared there which explained the title. (Incidentally, a friend pointed out that the plural of Bubblegum is Bubblegum. But word-hunter and many other sites say that Bubblegums is right, and hence I have let it be, because we can always count our bubblegums, can’t we? Just like we count our blessings!)

Here’s the preface of my first book.

It is only in fairytales that there are happy endings and the hero always wins. Real life is rarely like that. It is mostly imperfect. There are times when some things happen that are so embarrassing that you wish you had the powers to escape like Houdini; or you could change things with the flip of a switch like changing channels when you don’t like a TV programme. No such luck. You just have to grin and bear it. But the good thing is that no matter what it is, it always ends. Just like candies that melt and fade and the bubblegum that you spit out when you are done with it.

When I mentioned the title of this book to a friend he said,‘sounds interesting. Really interesting – but why Candies and Bubblegums?’

‘Because, there are incidents that make you ponder and make you want to think and maybe re-think. Like chewing a bubblegum. Then there are others spiked with doses of humour, that make you laugh and leave you with a feel-good sensation. Just like eating a candy,’ I explained.

He liked that.

Most of the incidents described in this book happened to me, and some of them to my friends. You may even relate to certain incidents and see yourself in some of them!

They just demonstrate that no matter how bad a day you have had, and no matter how hopeless the situation that you are in looks right now, things always change. Always. It is just a matter of time.

If you think you have had a bad day, just delve into the candy jar. And if you are in a mood to muse and ponder, help yourself to a bubblegum.

I have collected 18 candies and 16 bubblegums from my life, in this book. But, what is a candy to me, might be a bubblegum to you. It is for you to decide which is what – and we all know how deceptive it can be. Just like those sweet colourful balls that seem like candy, but when you bite and chew, they surprisingly turn into bubblegum! Or that bubblegum which suddenly has sweetness oozing out from its centre again, just when you thought that the juicy bit was over.

Each morning when you open your eyes, you are gifted 86,400 seconds to make a difference. And that by itself is worth celebrating!

In this refreshed version, I have tried to include all the stories that give you hope, make you think, touch you in some way, make you laugh, or at the very least, make you smile.

I have also included articles I have written which answer the questions that I get asked over and over again, about writing, blogging, things I have learnt and such. It is in the last section of this book.

I do hope you enjoy reading this book, as much as I have enjoyed writing it and putting it all together.

All the stories that appear here are true. Some names have been changed.

Thank you so much for reading this.

With love,

Preeti Shenoy

February 2018

THE PARENT TRAP

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

– Kahlil Gibran

My special friend

Many of us have a friend who is more than just a friend. It is a relationship that is so much more than what can be defined by mere words, a relationship that cannot be fitted into slots built by the norms which society lays down. It is a relationship that you treasure and it makes your life richer, more meaningful and happier. You treasure it. You wonder what you would be if that person wasn’t in your life anymore. You think about life without them and you cannot imagine it. I am no different.

Let me call him K. I will not give you his name, for the obvious and not-so-obvious reasons.

K has always been a part of my life, ever since I can remember. Despite the vast age gap between us – he was so much older than me – we got along really well. The age difference between us never really bothered us. K looked so much younger than his age. He had the energy of a man half his age, and the maturity of a man twice his age. He was that rare, perfect combination. He was also extremely fit, tall and handsome, with a very striking presence.

He was an excellent swimmer. He was the one who taught me how to swim, when I expressed the desire to learn. He would splash water really hard on me with a swift repetitive movement of his hands and join my delighted peals of laughter when I got completely caught in a water jet created by the sheer power of his hands.

We were like children when we went to the beach. K could run really fast, and I would try to catch up with him, running as fast as my legs could carry me. I never succeeded. When I could go on no more, sweating and panting, I would stop and call out to him. He always laughed and said,‘You have to try harder. Never give up!’

I loved him with all my heart. And I think he knew it too – but we never spoke about it. When I was a gawky teenager trying to find my footing in life, K was there with gentle understanding. After all, he was a man, and here I was, dealing with only silly boys. He listened when I talked. Really listened. I could talk to him about almost anything, including boyfriends. I think he knew exactly whom I had crushes on. He was always polite and nice to them. I chatted with him about them.

K always encouraged