Amidst The Dark

Amidst the Dark

Amidst the Dark

Daphne-Anne Howse

Copyright © 2017 Daphne-Anne Howse

Published by Daphne-Anne Howse Publishing at Smashwords

First edition 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage or retrieval system without permission from the copyright holder.

The Author has made every effort to trace and acknowledge sources/resources/individuals. In the event that any images/information have been incorrectly attributed or credited, the Author will be pleased to rectify these omissions at the earliest opportunity.

Dedicated to my Husband Abid Ali, who had faith in

his Babbar Sher to complete the book.

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter18

Chapter 19

Chapter19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Epiloge

Chapter 1

A pair of red flaming eyes was firmly fixed on Lauren as she lay stretched out on her bed. She could not see the slimy green obscene creature that was sitting in the corner of the ceiling looking down at her. His name was Hopelessness and he had orders to make Lauren feel unloved and torment her into thinking that she was a complete failure. He patiently waited for Big Jack to enter her bedroom. He kept his eyes on Lauren as she finished up with a conversation she was having with Amanda on Skype.

Lauren rubbed her burning eyes, after she closed her computer and started getting ready to go to bed. The next day was her last in school and she was determined to sleep early and wake up fresh to finish her last exam ever! Just as she pulled the nightdress over her head, she heard the same sound she had come to dread every night for the last few years. Jack was coming!

She felt lost and deserted…she lay back and relived the despicable acts that rolled out in the privacy of her bedroom, and tears of hopelessness rolled down her sad face, falling plop, plop, plop on her pillow… meanwhile, dangling from the roof, the vile, hideous looking demon continued staring down at Lauren. He chuckled silently as he watched Lauren, sad and in despair…he had tricked her once again!

She jumped up and pressed herself up against the door, it was locked, but to no avail, Big Jack also had a key…and she heard the lock turn open, her heart was beating loudly, she was about to protest when a filthy big hand clasped over her mouth, the other grabbed her at the throat. Don’t you dare, you little slut!Big Jack bent down to her and she felt the nausea rising up as he spoke and his warm breath hit her face. The stench was horrific…waves of beer, garlic, and weed all mixed together; drifted up her nostrils every time he spoke. His greasy hair was clinging to his head, his sweat made fine pearls on his top lip and forehead. He had the look of pure evil in his eyes, his pitch black pupils were dilated, and they glimmered in the dim light. He grinned as he stared down at her.

Lauren shook with fury as he started lifting her night dress and as she lifted her hand to strike him, he grabbed her and held her in a bear like grip, We don’t want your Momma to know how you do naughty things with Uncle Jack, now do we? he said gruffly as he lifted her up and threw her down on the bed, as if she was a piece of worthless rubbish. Lauren closed her eyes, fighting off the nausea that was pushing up from her stomach. The pain was unbearable and it felt as if someone was pushing a red hot poker into her private parts. She just lay still, forcing her mind to block out what Big Jack was doing to her against her will and she silently prayed for her torment to end soon and thankfully, it did! Lauren felt defeated and totally helpless. She was embarrassed by the knowledge that her dignity had been stripped away from her once again and she felt tremendous anger towards herself because again she was being violated and she could not even defend herself!

When it was over Jack threatened her as before, If you breathe one word to anyone, I’ll tell them what a slut you really are and I’ll bash your Momma’s face in so bad that you won’t recognise her and then I’ll come back for you! he groped at her one last time and left the room laughing like a hyena.

Minutes later after Jack left her room she opened her eyes, they were hard and emotionless. She rebelled once more against her worthless life she was forced to live. Why had her father left them, why was he not there to protect her? Even her teachers at school were not able to protect her. Not even God loved her enough to send his Angels to protect her. She once again rebelled against the Bible and its teachings, the promise of Angels who would protect and defend God’s children!!That God was a God of love and was always fair!’’ With anger burning her like a fire she slowly got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom, she ran a scalding hot shower and sat on her haunches with her hands in her mouth silently screaming… Nobody cares! Nobody!Nobody!

When Lauren awoke the next morning, she just lay there staring up at the ceiling, she had no emotion on her face. Her eyes were cold, she felt dead inside. She walked across to the bathroom and stood looking at her reflection in the mirror.

What she saw made her even more depressed, she did not know that she was being blinded by Vanity, the Demon who made you think you were ugly when you were not or think you are irresistible to others when you were not. He loved it when girls hated the image of themselves in the mirror. It was so easy for him to make their lives miserable, all he had to do was whisper the word Anorexia or Bulimia in their ears and they would fall for it. Vanity scrambled their brains, Lies joined in and soon sweet unsuspecting girls were starving their bodies, not loving or caring for their bodies, they became slaves to him and his deceit, and then he would hand these broken china dolls over to Suicide who made the girls feel worse until they tried to end it all. It was such a bonus when they did in fact end it all. Easy souls to reap!

They both worked on Lauren as she stood starring at her image in the mirror. She had lovely long blond hair, but she thought it looked dull and mousey. She had bright green eyes, but all she saw has dead eyes with black circles around them. She had a lovely spray of freckles over her cute nose, but she never saw that either. She smudged her face with makeup, and dark eye liner, not wanting to look pretty because inside she felt ugly and repulsive. Like the slut she was!

Self hate gripped her as she looked at herself in the mirror. She was ugly and stupid a common slag and nobody loved her.

She reached for the razor blade that she hid in the bathroom cupboard. She smiled when she saw the blood on it, still there from the few times before. She rolled up her shirt sleeve and in swift motions she flicked the blade across her wrist till blood seeped into the basin. It hurt, it burned like fire, but at least it momentarily took away the pain that was in side of her. She wondered why the Psychologists called it self-mutilation or self-injury?.

No she softly said to the lonely girl in the mirror I call it self-preservation she smiled back at the mirror, and Suicide grinned at Hopelessness, Soon she will cut deep enough and then she will be mine! Once again Hopelessness laughed at Lauren and he nudged his friend Suicide, next to him. They jumped up and down trying to influence Lauren to cut deeper and to finish the job! Lies whispered in her ear and tugged at her mercilessly but none of them could succeed so with reluctance they let go.

Lauren walked over to her Mothers bedroom; mercifully Big Jack had left earlier. She bent down to look at her mother sleeping peacefully. She knew this was not just a deep sleep she was in, it was the affects of drugs and alcohol that Jack tricked her with, and by now her Mother was so addicted that there was nothing Lauren could do to save her. She took a warm towel and gently wiped her mother’s face, smoothing down her lovely chestnut curls, that were widely spread all over the pillow.

Lauren felt bitterness creep in as she thought of her worthless father. If he did not desert his family then nothing like this would have happened. How could he just leave them alone to fend for themselves? She hated her father and she despised him for being such a weakling! How could he just forget the great times they had as a family? The fishing trips, the camping next to the river, the things he taught her about cars engines, riding a motorbike or the time she cried pitifully in his arms when her boyfriend broke up with her? And she missed him! She softly kissed her mother goodbye and pulled the blanket over her; she left the room, grabbed her books and left the quiet house, slamming the door loudly behind her.

Lauren said her goodbyes to her school pals; she never wanted to see any of them ever again. She was glad her school career was over and done with, she was free to do what